|Politician Ex Machina
Author: Manchester PM
It was undoubtedly the weirdest story he'd ever listened to, but the fact was, he'd been transported here by mysterious means, and they clearly needed his help. What else could he do but assist the Scooby Gang against their latest Big Bad?Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Words: 850 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 01-09-12 - Status: Complete - id: 7725704
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Just the possibility of seeing at close range an actual, live celebrity turns ordinary people into complete idiots. This definitely included the audience at the Sunnydale High graduation ceremony. Even such a normally bowel-loosening event like the folksy mayor of their hometown turning into a giant snake monster right after his speech informing those listening to him that they were going to become his first meal was instantly disregarded at seeing the distinguished man walk out from among the terrified crowd. When the stranger stopped at the edge of the stage, everyone there instantly recognized him as the actor from the movie Apocalypse Now (no, not the fat guy who played the Godfather elsewhere - the other one, who had a heart attack during the film's shoot).
All there stood frozen in shock while continuing to watch open-mouthed, of which Principal Snyder could be counted as one of their dazed number. This high school administrator also on the stage and cowering from the enormous serpent might've done something really stupid right away, if he hadn't been distracted by gaping at the unexpected arrival of this movie star. The throng's astonishment only increased when the silence of the graduation assembly was broken by the celebrity commandingly speaking in a loud, resonant voice while also pulling out a slim booklet from his front suit pocket. Brandishing this in the general direction of the mystified transformed official, that snake demon heard, "Richard Wilkins, under the election by-laws of the town of Sunnydale, I find you in violation of Rule seventeen, Section 'b', Subsection dash two! As a consequence of your current condition, your term as mayor of this California municipality is at present null and void, resulting in those unholy powers to whom you sold your soul a century before now able to take possession of this former human! May God have mercy upon you!"
In the very next instant, there was sensed throughout the entire audience the sudden presence of tremendous, barely perceivable manifestations now hovering around the stage. Thankfully, these hostile supernatural spirits weren't fully observable by the crowd, which might have protected everyone's sanity. Particularly when Wilkins began to horrifically scream in his serpent form, to then completely dissolve into a foul slime coating the stage floor.
Gathered together in the SHS library several hours afterwards once Xander had disarmed and removed his Plan "B" explosives, the Scoobies were ready at last to listen to explanations. Even the young man sulking in a corner of the room over not getting to actually blow up his high school paid somewhat grumpy attention when President Jed Bartlet started lecturing.
"Even a hundred years ago and in such a small town as Sunnydale was back then, there must've been election rules to prevent joke candidates such as animals, inanimate objects, and dead people from being put on the ballot. It would've likely been buried in the fine print, but the qualifications had to have in there somewhere a rule which plainly stated only living persons could run for and hold office. When Wilkins ran for mayor the first time, even if he never knew about this, ignored it, or just simply forgot, when he won the election then, used the payment for his soul to control the Hellmouth and make sure he remained in office ever since, that politician was still abiding by this rule."
A slow grin started to appear upon Buffy's face, as the Slayer giggled, "So, when Mayor Dick turned into Mr. Scales-"
Giving the young girl sitting at the table an amused look, the Chief Executive confirmed, "He wasn't human anymore and instantly lost his influence then over the dimensional nexus which was protecting him. Once it got pointed out to those having a lien on his soul that Wilkins was now available for the taking… Well, you saw what happened, though from what I've learned, the odd effect known as Sunnydale Syndrome will quickly make the others there forget everything which happened today, including my own presence."
Before anyone else in the library could comment on President Bartlet's final comment, a bright glow shimmered into existence upon the far wall. Soon enough, the small group in the library could see through the portal into a very familiar oval office, where a variety of anxious people were gathered and waiting for the return of their beloved husband, father, and boss. Knowing he had only a few moments to journey back to his home dimension, hasty goodbyes and thankful handshakes were traded between the older man and the Sunnydale contingent. Even Xander joined in, who still couldn't resist calling after the departing leader of the free world, "Hey, dude, how'd you come up with the plan right away after you got dumped here without any warning at all?"
Sending a truly cheerful grin over his shoulder as he stepped through the portal, Jed Bartlet chuckled, "Whatever the lawyers might think, it's the politicians who are the real masters at finding loopholes for anything!"