My dearest Valmont,

I do hope you are well when this reaches you and that there is not a large problem with my sending of this but I must admit I miss our communications.

I hear you have made progress with that Countess we met, do tell me how she is because I always thought her cold and a little odd.

You must not feel it necessary to reply to this if you still rightly blame me for the night all those months ago. On that topic, I do not believe explained myself adequately and you had the gracious manners to do as I asked with only minimum hesitation. Although I do wish you had got back in contact when you were first ready to move on - which you have to be by now surely? - as I want somebody to listen to me again.

Do you remember that dashing young man I brought to Rosemonde's party before we saw eye to eye? I do not suppose you would speak to him and ward him off coming to my home every night? He is beginning to make me feel nervous.

I was never good enough for you; you are the kindest human to walk this ground and I allowed you to slip away from me. You made me believe I was worthy and that I looked beautiful at all times and for that I shall be eternally grateful, not that I think you are correct.

Snow is beginning to settle on the grounds that I can see from this window. I maybe should forget about moments from our time but there was that one day when the weather so unexpectedly changed that we ended up completely soaked with the water in the snowflakes and we spent the remainder of the evening sitting in front of this fireplace, not moving once because it was colder everywhere else.

It feels as though we had thousands of those days where simplicity won up over but now I seem to make every task a lot harder than it could be just so that I can spend time doing anything that distracts me from the constant onslaught of elderly relatives asking if they will ever need to buy a new dress or if I shall be remarrying.

I do not want to go through it all again though - please, I mean no offence by this, but I never saw us getting to that stage either. I have grown out of the adulation of choosing an outfit, decorations and which people I dislike yet would still have to invite to the monstrosity.

The most interesting part of my wedding day was moving our relationship to the bedroom, I say interesting because it barely lasted the time his speech had. He then proceeded to tell me that is how all first times are; he did not know that I had experienced my first time some years prior to that with a lowly footman, and that every other since was at least double.

Why am I telling you this? You hate me rightfully. I say this though, just remember I will forever love and respect you.

Yours deeply,
M.