|You Never Know If You Don't Try
Author: filesfreak4life PM
After leaving to go on the Guadalcanal, Mac comes home to find that maybe jumping off the deep end isn't such a bad idea. Harm's proposition leads to a whole different dance that she never knew she'd get to perform.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance - H. Rabb & S. MacKenzie - Chapters: 35 - Words: 69,691 - Reviews: 324 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 112 - Updated: 02-20-13 - Published: 01-29-12 - id: 7788313
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Author's Note: I'm just going to put it out there that I can't stand Mic Brumby… like I really despise him… however, to grow myself, I'm feeling like I might change my own image of him… so bear with me on that. I hope you enjoy this short installment. Review if you would like!
"How is she?" I say, catching him off guard at my presence.
I couldn't stay home. I left and I got some food and went to the big empty house and realized that I wouldn't sleep without Mac there. So I came back to find Mic Brumby there by her side.
"She's fine. I'm glad that she and the baby are okay." He says, and I know that he genuinely means it. "I thought she sent you home?"
I completely ignore his question, "So the two of you are starting over?"
"Eavesdropping?" he asks and I smirk a bit. "I don't blame you with our history."
"I trust Mac."
"You don't trust me though."
"True." I say simply after screaming a hearty 'damn right' in my head.
"Can we take a walk?" he asks and I'm a bit surprised for a moment before glancing at Mac's door and then deciding to take the walk with Mic.
"We aren't stripping blouses, are we? Mac would probably kill me."
"No, Mate… I think we just need to clear some things up."
I never liked Brumby, always finding ways to make fun of his name or where he came from. Then when he was dating Mac it was more of the same little comments and digs. When we defended her and John Farrow after her husband's death his true colors came out and I knew I would never like him. However he did have the insight that was the turning point for Mac and I, telling us that some of us were in love with her.
"What finally made you grow a set?" he asks, and I know exactly what he is talking about, not taking any offense to the way that he worded it.
"When she left I just realized that I couldn't do it without her anymore. We were walking eggshells around each other and had been for years. I knew that I was in love with her. Hell, you even told me as much when we almost came to blows in the Admiral's office. It was just a matter of convincing myself that she was the least bit in love with me."
"She was, but I thought that I could change her mind. I thought that she loved me the way that I knew I loved her. We never had that connection that the two of you have though. You could look across the room at each other and have an entire conversation. We could never do that. I probably knew it from the beginning, thinking about how I went to you to see if she was considered a free agent or not."
I laugh at the memory, already remembering that was the moment I really decided to hate Mic Brumby. That was the moment that he started in on Mac, and I didn't want to watch it happen. It was such a mess, even back then.
"I know that you have doubts about—"
"She told me." Mic interrupts quickly, knowing exactly what he was going to bring up.
"I don't know if she told you this, but we didn't… we weren't going behind your back save for one kiss. I never intended for this to happen."
"You can't deny that you had hoped for it though."
"Not this way…" I say honestly.
"When was the kiss?"
"Mac didn't tell you?" I ask with what I'm sure is a deer caught in the headlights kind of look.
"She didn't, but maybe I don't want to know."
"If it makes you feel any better, I think that it was both of our attempts at goodbye. We just had to have one last ditch attempt before the two of you got married and I went about my way with Renee." I tell him, knowing that night was really about saying goodbye. Yes, she and I spent the majority of the evening together, but it wasn't about me stealing her away or anything like that. We were going to put it all out there.
"It was the engagement party, wasn't it?"
His face falls a bit, and then his lips turn up in the oddest of smirks before he replies, "I knew then that it was probably over. The fact that she would rather spend the whole evening out there with you instead of celebrating our engagement was telling enough."
"Mic…" I say, starting to explain to him the complexity of me and Mac before he cuts me off.
"You really do love her that much, don't you?"
"You aren't going to hurt her anymore?"
"I know that I hurt her before, but I'm going to try my hardest to avoid that."
"Then I can live with it." He says with a nod of his head and a look to the ground in front of him.
"Don't worry about it. I still care about her, and we agreed that we will be friends and colleagues. I want her happy, and I know that you are the one that will give that to her."
"It takes a big man to admit that."
I look at him for a moment and remember that I myself had been the bigger man at one point when I thought that Mac was really going to marry him. I was going to watch her walk down the aisle and support anything she did if I thought that it would make her happy. Brumby and I weren't too far off from each other.
"Friends and Colleagues?" I finally say, putting out a hand for him to shake.
"Good… now I better get back to Mac."
"From what I understand you are supposed to be gone for the evening. You know she'll be mad at you if you come back before tomorrow to pick her up. She needs the rest and relaxation. Don't get her all worked up Rabb."
"You're right" I say, knowing that Mac would probably get riled up if I did go back.
"I learned very quickly that you don't mess with that Marine, friend. You won't escape alive."
"I just hope there's a squid in there and not a jarhead."
"I told Mac I didn't know how I felt about the two of you having a kid…. You two get into enough trouble, so I can only imagine how your little ones are going to be."
I laugh at that before turning toward the parking lot and getting into my car. Maybe Brumby wasn't so bad, and maybe we could work things out with all three of us. At least then the Admiral wouldn't have to either kill us or court martial us.
Once I got back home, I decided to call my mom and let her in on what was going on with Mac. I knew that if she found out later on that Mac had been in the hospital, she would kill me for not letting her know about it.
"Hey mom, how are you guys doing?"
"What's wrong?" she immediately asks and I wonder to myself if my fatigue really is showing more than I thought.
"Nothing's wrong mom, but I wanted you to know that we had a little scare today with Mac and the baby."
"Oh God, is she okay? Is the baby alright?"
"They are both fine. They're being kept at the hospital over night so Mac can be observed. Apparently she's been having a hypoglycemia problem that made her feel faint today in the court room. She blanked out for a little bit, but we took her to the ER right away and they are saying that everything is fine."
"Is she still working full days? I thought they were going to put her on half days."
"She's been working full days, but she's been on the bench so much that the Doctor said that it was okay. They've decided to put her on limited duty starting now and going until the baby is born though."
"Good. She just needs to rest and focus on the baby and her health. Was she already asleep when you left? Can I call her?"
"She was probably getting ready to settle down for the night, so why don't I have her call you in the afternoon tomorrow when she gets home?"
"Okay… God, I wish that we were closer."
"I know mom, but it will mean a lot to her just to know that you're thinking about her."
"That reminds me… have the two of you talked any more about finding her mother?"
I had honestly almost forgotten all about it after our honeymoon and all this baby stuff got into full swing. Mac had mentioned the idea of trying to find her mother again to see if they could attempt to fix their relationship after all these years.
"Honestly mom, we haven't really had the time to think about it. Why do you ask?"
"Well, Mac and I talked a bit more about it when you guys were here after she talked to you about it and she was telling me where her mother said she was last…. So I did some digging."
"Did you find her?"
"I did, but I didn't talk to her at all because I didn't want her to find out where you guys were if you weren't ready for that or didn't want that."
"Mom, you shouldn't have gone through all that trouble."
"Harm, she wants that… I know she does… I was just preparing for her to say something again."
"Do you want me to talk to her about it?"
"If you would like to, you can, otherwise I can mention it to her in a few weeks after all this settles down."
"I think that waiting would be a good idea… where is she?"
"She's actually in Virginia, not to far from D.C. Part of me wonders if she was planning on finding Mac, because my sources, well… Frank's sources, told me that she just moved not too long ago."
"What did you guys do? Did you hire someone for this?"
"Frank had somebody look into it for Mac."
"So he's got a soft spot for Mac too, huh?"
"You forget that we've heard you talk about her for years. We both love her and from what I know about her past, I just knew that she would need some kind of closure with her mother."
"She'll appreciate it. And so do I…"
"Alright, well, you sound exhausted, so you need to march into bed, sir. Please have Sarah call me when you guys get home from the hospital tomorrow."
"Love all three of you."
"Love you too, mom." I say before hanging up the phone and thinking about how I was going to bring up Mac's mother to her, knowing that she was nearby and could really be popping in any time in the near future.