|10 Things Kurt Hates About Blaine
Author: flylikeadcriss PM
A series of scenes showing the things Kurt hates about Blaine. Based on the lines from the poem in 10 Things I Hate About You. Rated K plus for very mild language.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Blaine A. & Kurt H. - Words: 3,954 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 2 - Published: 01-29-12 - Status: Complete - id: 7788389
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
So I based this off of the poem from the movie 10 Things I Hate About You. It has a scene for each thing that Kat hates, which ended up being 13 scenes because there really are 13 things on the list. They're not completely in chronological order but they're all in the same time frame.
I don't own Glee or 10 Things I Hate About You.
I hate the way you talk to me
Blaine found Kurt in the auditorium. He wasn't singing, just sitting in a seat alone in the back. Blaine climbed up to him.
"Hey," he said softly.
"Hi," Kurt said, not looking at him.
"Kurt," Blaine began. "Don't listen to him, okay? Those people don't know anything."
"You always say that," Kurt snapped.
"What?" Blaine asked, surprised at Kurt's sudden anger.
"You always tell me that I'm beautiful, or that I'm an amazing singer, or that I'm perfect, or that everybody who ever tries to hurt me is wrong," Kurt said irritably. "You always tell me what you think I want to hear."
"That's not true," Blaine protested.
"It is!" Kurt said, finally turning to face Blaine. "I'm not perfect and I'm not all that beautiful or whatever and you don't have to tell me stuff like that just to make me feel better."
"Do you not want me to tell you those things?" Blaine asked, confused.
"I don't if you're just saying them to cheer me up," Kurt retorted. "You could just tell me the truth."
"You want me to tell you the truth?" Blaine asked.
"Yes!" Kurt snapped. "Instead of just humoring me so I cheer up."
"Okay," Blaine agreed, thinking about this for a moment. "The truth is that no matter what anyone else thinks of you, I think that you're beautiful." Kurt opened his mouth to protest, but Blaine continued.
"And I think that you're an amazing singer, and to me, you're perfect," he said. "And anybody who tries to tell you differently because they haven't bothered to know you at all before judging you is wrong."
Kurt sighed but didn't respond.
"See? That wasn't what you wanted to hear," Blaine pointed out. "But I said it, didn't I? Because it's the truth."
"I guess," Kurt said quietly.
"And I love you," Blaine added.
"I love you too," Kurt said, finally giving Blaine a tiny smile.
And the way you cut your hair
"When's this from?" Kurt asked, holding up a picture for Blaine to see. They were sitting together on the floor of Blaine's bedroom, going through the multiple shoeboxes of loose photos from Blaine's attic.
Blaine glanced over and said, "That's me at the beginning of freshman year. So a couple years ago, I guess."
"Your hair is so great," Kurt said, peering closer at the picture. "Why'd you have to cut it so shot?
"Because I was transferring to a private school with a stringent dress code policy?" he suggested.
"You don't go there anymore," Kurt pointed out. "You should grow it back. You're lucky you were born with great hair, I have to spend forever making mine look good."
"I like your hair," Blaine said, smiling at him.
"You shouldn't cut it," Kurt continued. "Seriously."
"Possibly," he said noncommittally. Kurt smiled, satisfied with this answer.
"Who's this?" he asked, picking up another picture.
"That's me," Blaine laughed. "When I was like two."
"You were adorable," Kurt said, smiling softly at the picture.
"You're still adorable," Blaine countered, leaning over to kiss Kurt.
I hate the way you drive my car
"Blaine. I swear to God, if you let go of the wheel one more time—"
"It was just with one hand," Blaine argued amusedly. "I just wanted to take a sip of coffee, and we were at a red light."
"You're not supposed to be drinking coffee in here, either," Kurt replied, glaring at the offending cup.
"I'm not going to spill anything," Blaine assured him. "Has anyone ever told you that you are extremely paranoid about this car?"
"A lot of people have told me that, actually," Kurt replied thoughtfully. "But it's my baby, and I'll care for it accordingly. Including not letting certain people get it all dirty."
"I can't wait to see what you'll be like with our actual baby," Blaine said quietly and absentmindedly as he turned into the parking lot of the school.
"What?" Kurt asked, turning to look at him.
"Nothing," Blaine replied. "Let's go in, okay?"
"Okay," Kurt agreed, checking the seats for any sign of damage and pretending to not have heard Blaine. However, he couldn't help what he was sure to be a very stupid smile on his face.
I hate it when you stare
Kurt kicked Blaine in the shin without looking at him.
"Hey," Blaine protested quietly, because Mr. Shue was talking. "What was that for?"
"You're staring again, and it's making me extremely self-conscious," Kurt sighed. "Besides, you're supposed to be paying attention."
Blaine blushed slightly and turned to face the front of the choir room, where Rachel was preparing to sing for them.
Kurt turned to look at him a minute later.
"You're doing it again," he pointed out quietly. "If I was a girl, I would be able to yell at you that my eyes are up here, but you're actually staring at my eyes. It's creepy."
"I am so, so glad you're not a girl," Blaine said vehemently. "Besides, your eyes are pretty."
Kurt blushed and glared at him. He then turned to face Rachel again and tried as hard as he could to ignore the eyes on him.
I hate your big dumb combat boots
"Blaine," Kurt said dangerously. "Did you take my shoes?"
Blaine's eyes widened in terror.
"Um. Well," he said nervously. "When Finn had that Mario Kart marathon at your house last week, Puck stole my shoes because he was mad that I won, and Finn said I could borrow some to go home but his would be too big, and he went into your room and picked out the ones he thought were the least expensive. And then I forgot to return them. Please don't kill me."
Kurt pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.
"Okay, for one, you should always either let Puck win or make sure there's nothing he can do to you out of spite for losing. Two, Finn has no fashion sense at all. Those are expensive. Three, they're still too big for you, and combat boots don't go with your outfit today at all," he said.
"Sorry," Blaine said, giving Kurt his best puppy dog eyes. "I like them."
"And you're giving them back after school," Kurt replied. "You still have my red jeans, you know.
"You still have my Warblers hoodie," Blaine pointed out as they began to walk to class. Kurt flushed.
"At the risk of being extremely cliché, it smells like you and I like it," he said. "I desperately hope that you don't associate me with how my shoe smells. I can give you a t-shirt or something."
"Okay," Blaine said happily, glancing around the almost-empty hallway and taking Kurt's hand as they walked.
And the way you read my mind
"You're being quiet," Blaine observed as they went through the cafeteria line.
"No I'm not," Kurt said defensively.
"You are," Blaine insisted as they walked to their table, then raised his eyebrows as Kurt took the farthest seat that he could from the rest of the Glee kids. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Kurt snapped. "I don't have to talk all the time, you know. That's Rachel's job."
"You're mad that Rachel gets to sing that solo at Regionals and you don't," Blaine said. It wasn't a question.
"No I'm not," Kurt replied, glancing over to the other end of the table. Nobody was listening to them. "She always demands the solos. I'm used to it by now."
Blaine thought for a moment.
"You're upset because Finn didn't say anything, even though last night you told your whole family how much you wanted the solo," he deduced.
Kurt was silent for a moment.
"How do you do that?" he finally asked irritably.
"Kurt, I'm sure Mr. Shue will give you a good solo in the group number, he knows that you're an amazing singer and you got a part in ABC, right?" Blaine assured him.
"Seriously," Kurt said, ignoring Blaine. "How do you do that? How do you always know everything?"
"I don't know everything," Blaine replied. "I just know you."
Kurt mumbled something and looked away.
"What?" Blaine asked, leaning closer.
"Nothing," Kurt sighed.
I hate you so much it makes me sick
It even makes me rhyme
I hate the way you're always right
"It'll be okay," Blaine said, pulling him closer into a hug. Kurt pulled away and moved over to the other side of the couch.
"You don't know that," he said. "If it was going to be okay, I would have gotten my letter too. Rachel and I live ten minutes apart, so if I got in too, which I won't, I would have the stupid letter by now. "
"It's only been a day," Blaine pointed out. "Sometimes mail does that. It'll come."
"What if it doesn't?" Kurt said. "What if it never comes and Rachel gets out of here and I'm stuck in the Godforsaken town working at the Lima Bean forever?"
"That won't happen," Blaine said firmly.
"You don't know that," Kurt repeated, looking away from Blaine and glaring at the floor.
"I do," Blaine said without any doubt.
"How could you know that?" Kurt sighed.
"I know that because even if they don't accept you, that's their loss," Blaine said, moving to sit closer to Kurt again. Kurt didn't protest. "And I know that off all of the people I know, you are the most likely of them to achieve whatever you want to achieve. And you're the least likely of them to ever give up on your dreams to go work at the Lima Bean."
Kurt bit his lip and allowed Blaine to pull him closer again.
"You're right," he admitted. "You're always right."
"I try," Blaine mumbled, kissing Kurt's forehead.
"I just want the damn letter," Kurt sighed.
"I know," Blaine said.
I hate it when you lie
"Why," Kurt said as they walked out of the Lima Bean. "Do I always have to hear from him that you guys are talking all the time?"
"We're not talking all the time," Blaine said defensively.
"You're certainly talking more than you told me you were talking," Kurt retorted. "Which, as I recall, was not at all. Why would you lie about that? Did you think that I wouldn't find out?"
"Okay, I shouldn't have lied about that," Blaine admitted.
"Then why did you?" Kurt said, whirling to face him as he reached the car.
"Because I didn't want you to think that I was always talking to him for hours on end or meeting him all the time!" Blaine said pleadingly. "He calls me a lot and I always try to get off the phone as soon as I can. I don't like him any more than you do."
"Well, that's what I thought when he was the one to tell me about it!" Kurt said angrily. "So you just hid something from me just because you thought I would overreact?"
"I don't like him always calling me either—"
"That's not the point," Kurt said angrily. "Obviously I don't like that. He hits on you pretty blatantly in front of me, and I hate to think about what he says when I'm not there, but that's not the point. We're supposed to be honest with each other."
"I'm sorry," Blaine said quietly. "I didn't want you to get hurt,"
"Well, I just did," Kurt retorted as he got into the car. "Except I got hurt way worse, and it happened in front of all of my friends and him, and he seemed extremely entertained by it."
Then he slammed the door shut and waited for Blaine to get into his seat before starting the car and driving away in silence.
I hate it when you make me laugh
Kurt raised an eyebrow at Blaine as he felt his phone buzz in his pocket again. Blaine nodded encouragingly, grinning. Kurt glanced up towards the front of the class, where Mr. Shue was turned away from them as he wrote on the whiteboard.
He sighed quietly and pulled out his phone to open the text. Then he snorted involuntarily, barely managing to cover it with a cough. Blaine laughed quietly.
Kurt gave him a hard look.
Stop doing that. Mr. Shue's going to yell at me if he sees me laughing at my phone again, he typed out before sending the text to Blaine.
You could just not open them, Blaine pointed out.
He then immediately sent another picture. Kurt automatically glanced down at it and couldn't help but laugh.
"Kurt?" Mr. Shue said, turning to face him with raised eyebrows. Kurt looked up guiltily. "Is something wrong?"
Kurt coughed. Stupid Boromir meme.
"No," he said, subtly stowing his phone in his pocket. "Sorry."
Mr. Shue sighed but nodded and turned to face the board again.
Kurt glared at Blaine, who gave him an apologetic look but unable to keep the satisfied smile off his face for long.
Even worse when you make me cry
The ending credits began to play. Kurt sniffed, and Blaine pulled him closer to him. They didn't move as the credits rolled, and Blaine began singing along absentmindedly under his breath.
Kurt sniffed again.
"Damn it, Blaine," he said, trying and failing to sound irritated. Blaine looked over to see that Kurt was crying and he bit his lip worriedly.
"Oh," he said softly. "Don't cry. It was just a movie, honey."
"I know," Kurt sniffed. Blaine wiped a tear off his cheek. "I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize," Blaine said, pushing Kurt's hair out of his face. "I just don't want you to be sad."
"I know," Kurt said, blinking quickly and bringing his own hand up to rub at his eyes.
"You were fine when Jack died," Blaine said questioningly, hugging Kurt again before pulling back to look at him.
"No, I was holding it in when Jack died," Kurt corrected him. "The stupid song gets me every time. Then you had to go and sing it."
"Sorry," Blaine said guiltily.
"Don't apologize," Kurt mumbled. "It's the stupid song."
Blaine nodded, noticing that Kurt had stopped crying and was starting to smile sheepishly.
"I love you," Blaine said softly. "I love you so much."
"I love you too," Kurt said. "I'm sorry. I'm an ugly crier."
Blaine shook his head.
"You're a beautiful crier," he corrected.
Then he kissed Kurt gently, tasting the salt from his tears.
I hate it when you're not around
"We really aren't doing very well on the whole Valentine's Day thing, are we," Kurt sighed.
"I know," Blaine said sadly. "Next year we'll do it right."
Kurt blushed slightly.
"Next year?" he asked.
"Definitely," Blaine confirmed, seeming to not notice the implications of what he had said. "Anyway, at least we live in the 21st century. If we lived in, like, Victorian England, we wouldn't be able to Skype."
"You have a point there," Kurt said, shifting so he was lying on his stomach on the bed, facing his laptop. "But if we lived in Victorian England, I doubt your parents would have the ability to fly you out to Florida."
"Another valid point," Blaine admitted. "You know what the worst part is?"
"What's the worst part?" Kurt asked.
"The worst part is that they're out to dinner together, because it's Valentine's Day," Blaine whined.
"But you got your own hotel room. Probably because it's Valentine's Day," Kurt teased.
Blaine made a face at him.
"Gross," he said. "I did not need to think about that."
"Sorry," Kurt said, grinning. "Anyway, it's great that I can at leas talk to you. Every girl in Glee that would be willing to mope with me has a date."
"That's nice," Blaine said, smiling. "How much do you want to bet that they're all at Breadstix and it's really awkward trying to have a romantic date because their friends are two tables away?"
"That is a definite possibility," he said. "Then again, they all have after-dinner plans as well. And I've had to listen to these plans. In great detail. Thank God Rachel's dads are going out too because Finn would have kicked me out of the house."
Blaine wrinkled his nose.
"I didn't need to hear that either," he said.
"He's not your brother," Kurt retorted. "If I have to live through listening to it, I'm allowed to share the pain."
"It is so not fair that I'm not there on the one night that everyone's parents are gone, including yours," Blaine whined.
"We'll do that part later," Kurt promised him with a devilish grin. "In the meantime, though, I put a box of candy hearts in your bag, and I've got some too. I think that seeing each other and eating food technically constitutes a date."
"I love candy hearts!" Blaine said, brightening considerably.
"I know," Kurt said. "Go get them so we can have our technical date."
Blaine smiled and complied, leaving the screen for a minute to go dig through his backpack. It was only when Blaine couldn't see him anymore that Kurt allowed himself to sigh quietly and secretly, desperately wish for Blaine to be back in Ohio with him.
And the fact that you didn't call
Please call me, Kurt begged mentally. He had no idea who he thought was listening, but he was trying pretty much everything to get his phone to ring.
Whoever he was talking to didn't listen. His phone remained stubbornly silent.
Kurt closed his eyes for a moment to push the tears away, then looked back down at his mixing bowl.
"Kurt," a voice said from the doorway to the kitchen. "That's like the third batch today. Are you doing that stress baking thing again?"
Kurt sighed and turned to face Finn.
"I guess you could call it that," he said, glancing back down at his pocket. Please call me.
"What's wrong?" Finn asked, grabbing a cookie from one of the earlier batches.
"Blaine and I had a stupid argument and it wasn't even that big," Kurt said. "But now he's not calling me so I think he's really mad."
Please call me. Please.
"Just call him," Finn suggested through a mouthful of cookie.
"I can't call him," Kurt said. "Obviously he doesn't want to talk to me, or he'd be calling me. I don't want to make him even angrier."
"I'm sure he wants to talk to you," Finn said.
"Then why isn't he calling?" Kurt snapped.
Finn shook his head.
"Maybe he's not calling because he's afraid that you don't want to talk to him and he doesn't want to make you more angry, and he thinks that because you're not calling him?" Finn suggested.
Kurt scowled at him. For God's sake call me already…
"Has Rachel been making you watch Oprah again?" he asked. "Because you keep spouting relationship wisdom and it's creepy."
"Dr. Phil, actually," Finn admitted. "But the guy's like a relationship wizard. Last week, he told me to do all this stuff when we went to restaurants, like pull her chair out and stuff. So I did, and that night Rachel was so happy that she let me—"
"For the love of God, do not finish that sentence," Kurt interrupted.
"Oh," Finn said sheepishly. "Sorry."
"Whatever," Kurt grumbled. "I doubt he's thinking that. He's probably thinking that I suck and he should never have come to McKinley and he never wants to see me again so he should just transfer back to Dalton and be with Meerkat Face."
"Who's Meerkat Face?" Finn asked, looking amused.
"Nobody," Kurt said. "But if that's what he's thinking, calling him will make it worse."
"He's not thinking that," Finn sighed. "He's so smitten with you that he's making all the other guys look bad to our girlfriends."
"Smitten?" Kurt asked, raising and eyebrow at Finn. "Was that from Dr. Phil, too?"
"No, that was Rachel," Finn admitted. "She said that when she was complaining about how Blaine is better at showing affection openly or something like that. Did I use it right?"
"Yes," Kurt said. "But you two don't exactly hide your affection. You're always making out in the choir room."
"I know!" Finn agreed. "I don't know what the problem is!"
Kurt sighed and shrugged, looking down at his pocket.
Please, please, please call me.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you
Not even close
ot even a little bit
ot even at all
"I hate you," Kurt pouted. Blaine looked up at him, confused.
"Is there a particular reason why you hate me?" he asked, wondering if he should be upset or not.
"Because," Kurt sighed. "I am physically incapable of being mad at you for more than five minutes. And I'm a grudge holder. Well, I was, but then you had to come and screw that up."
"I thought you loved me?" Blaine protested, pretending to feel heartbroken.
"I do love you," Kurt said, smiling wryly. "That becomes a slight issue when you do something to piss me off, though. I can be mad at anyone else for months at a time, but you've messed with the system."
"Sorry," Blaine said, smiling. "You don't really hate me, though, right?"
"No," Kurt said, leaning forward towards him. "I could never hate you. I love you too much."
Then he kissed Blaine, because sure, it was kind of scary to have one person own so much of your heart… But it was also pretty wonderful.
I realize that this makes Kurt seem kind of mean and critical, but the whole point of the poem in the movie is to list things that Kat hated about Patrick (If you haven't seen the movie, you really should. It's awesome). So the story had to be scenes showing things that Kurt didn't like about Blaine. He's not always like that, I promise.
It's my headcanon that Kurt and Blaine only call each other pet names when they're comforting each other, because I like it that way. Also, I love the Boromir meme. It's hilarious.