Self Realization, Admitting & Confessions

Okay pace is quickening a bit now... Read & enjoy! :D

The night air was a bit chilly to the bones but that wasn't stopping one Mr. Bohannon from sitting at a small saloon table with his new friend LeNore for some shots of whiskey and a good game of cards. The destroyed man could pick up that gun slinging young lady had been hardened during the days of war upon the South. He never asked about her experiences and she never brought it up. All they did in the dusty, small, smelly saloon was drink and play poker while having small talk which usually didn't amount to much or matter. This night was a bit different though, the young lady with the caramelized golden hair seemed much too quiet, perhaps a bit dead on the inside. Her eyes seemed empty, emptier than usual, and she was drinking more than usual too. Cullen, despite his roughness, seemed concerned about her even though he'd only known her for a few days.

Cullen set his shot glass down with a clunk. He sighed, mostly to himself, and then broke the silence between him and his new young lady friend. "Something eating away at you, Miss?" He made his observation known to the young lady sitting across from him, smoking a cigar.

"Why?" Was all LeNore asked as she pulled her cigar rom her mouth and tipped some of it's ashes into the ash tray sitting between her and Bohannon.

"You seem upset is all."

"Maybe I seem upset cause I am upset."

"Hmm…" Cullen sighed, getting his answer with a dash of snark, he didn't know what else to say or do so he just poured himself another drink.

LeNore looked at Cullen, sighing, "Night air's growing colder, in a couple of months snow will fall, not very good conditions for a weak, small, sickly baby."

"So, you're concerned for a baby I take it?"

"Yes, it most likely won't survive the harsh conditions…maybe it'd be easier for me if it didn't…"

"I take it the baby was a product of war." Bohannon said even toned, no emotion evident in his words. His words were empty.

"Yes." LeNore spat out bitterly.

Bohannon's voice turned dark as he said what was looming between them in the air, the cause of the war produced child… "Yankees."

"Yes, damn Yankees destroyed my home in Georgia…right outside of Atlanta…took everything from me…left me with a burden too…Pa disowned me outta shame when he got home…I hate them!" LeNore poured out just like one would our whiskey from a bottle. Her words flowed with such bitterness, such sadness, as she told the quick version of her Yankee encountered events to former CSA Captian Bohannon, a man she sensed she could trust.

Cullen nodded his head, for he too knew how bad of a pain was flowing through Miss Seaford's veins. Cullen's dirty, calloused, hands poured himself a drink…liquid courage or what he was about to speak allowed with his friend. "The Yankees raped and strangled my wife…Mary…burnt the barn…my boy was hiding in it with my old mammy…Bethal…" Cullen let out a deep breath he didn't even know he was holding after telling about his slain family.

"I'm sorry, Bohannon; I feel your pain. I truly do." LeNore sympathetically told the brooding man she was sitting and drinking with. She meant it too, she was in pain herself over what she had encountered so she could relate to him. They, in her opinion, had both lost everything they loved to the Yankees.

Night was upon the town of tents, the moon was absent and the stars twinkled but did very little to light up the sky without its friend the moon for help. A pudgy man, dressed to the nines in a fancy tan and brown suit with matching hat, walked up to a certain tent. "Miss Bell, may I come in and have a word with you?" He asked as he stood at the tent's flap. With no answer he cleared his throat and tried again with a greeting, "Lily, I would like to speak with you about certain important matters, may I come in?" But once again the only answer received was the dead silence of the night…along with the rustling and bustling and rowdy cat calls from the local whorehouse down the way. Durant decided to go against ethics and just step into the tent. All to his surprise he was shocked to see that Lily Bell's tent was empty in the night. Night was not a good time for a lady, pregnant one to boot, to be out and about. Durant had wanted to speak to Lily and give her an offer on behalf of her condition (plus he was hoping to get her closer to him as well) but she had left her tent and wandered off somewhere.

Eva lied in bed, next to her sleeping husband, and let everything that was said and done during the wedding interruption run through her mind.

Elam's hand instinctively went to his hip, for his gun, but his grip on it loosened as Eva placed her hand on his and whispered, "Don't, Elam, he won't do no harm."

"If you say, but how you know?" Elam dropped his hand to his side, softly looking and questioning Eva.

"I know he won't cause he used to be my husband." Eva quietly said, shame in her eyes for they both know that she wasn't a wife of love but of necessity for the Indian man.

"Your husband or your master?" Elem asked, hard as stone, as he glared at the red skin man.

Eva just sighed deeply, "It weren't love."

Elam and Eva watched as the uninvited man walked up to them. They both knew that words were going to be exchanged.

The native looked at Eva and Elam as he spat, "Calvary took you away so you find him, a color man to be with?"

"Raven Tree, I love Elam, please go and let us be. Both know we ain't got no love loss." Eva snapped; Elam could've been prouder of his woman for standing up to what he viewed to be as her former master.

Before the Indian man could say anything Elam grabbed his gun and clicked off the safety, aiming it at the man. "You's better listen to her or I shoots you dead."

"I been looking everywhere, when I do find you it's like this?"

"Go, leave us be, I belong here now."

"Yes, stay here like the whore you are, leave family behind." The native barked right before he turned around on his heel and angrily marched out of the party tent.

Eva sighed as she rested her hand on her husband's chest as he slept, feeling it rise up and down with every breath he took, while her gold wedding ring shined against his dark skin. She hoped that Raven Tree wouldn't bother them no more. She truly did love Elam, wanted to have some youngin's with him and one day a real house with some chickens and maybe a cow.

The air chilled her to the bone as she walked Westward in the dead of night. She knew it was foolish, a pregnant woman taking off in the middle of the night to find a man, but she also knew that she had to do it. She had to find Cullen, she longed for him and she tried to ignore it but it just wasn't going to go away. No, after witnessing the whirlwind of a wedding for the Fergusons she decided that she was going to track down Mr. Bohannon come hell or hot water. Lily was on a mission, a mission to find that rugged man Bohannon and to fulfill her longing urge for him.