Author: DPD PM
Edward came to my offices to discuss his past. He had lost his partner. My heart grieved for his loss, until his dark secret was revealed to me.Rated: Fiction M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Edward & Jasper - Chapters: 9 - Words: 63,725 - Reviews: 361 - Favs: 140 - Follows: 230 - Updated: 11-11-12 - Published: 02-06-12 - id: 7812768
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Rating: M for language and guy-on-guy action.
Disclaimer: SM owns it all, but my pervy mind and thoughts.
Summary: This is a sad, dark, yet beautiful slash story about Edward, who came to my offices to discuss his past. His partner, James had killed himself. My heart grieved for his loss, until his dark secret was revealed to me. Contains hardcore kink, fetishes, scat play and golden showers. WARNING: not for the faint hearted.
A/N: This is a slash story. If you are not into man on man sex, walk away. If you are under 18, walk away. There are kinky disturbing images including paraphilia like coprophilia and urolagnia. If you have a weak stomach, walk away. There are plenty of other stories for you to read. This chapter is a little lighter on kink though.
You guys have no idea what I have been putting my three musketeers Athos, Porthos, and Aramis, and Merlin through! Some really hard-to-read stuff came (and are still coming) their way! I truly need to thank my Beta team for working and enduring so much and for standing by me like this. You guys rock my F*ing world!
D'Artagnan has made our boys another banner! If you wish to check it out, go to http : / / dpdealer . tumblr . com (remember to remove the spaces). This one has some steamy under-Ed's-piano scene!
Now, let's get started!
Sunday morning I woke up to the warm feeling of Edward's breath fanning my neck, his right arm lying lazily on my chest, his right leg across my hip, and his foot hooked behind my knee.
It was such a wonderful feeling waking up on an idle Sunday just lying in bed for as long as we wanted; no need to rush to start the day and go to work.
I missed that.
The feeling of being complete when I was with Edward like that was intoxicating. It seemed like forever would never be long enough to be with him.
Last night he was amazing. I had always been the one to care for his needs so far, and I wondered if he would step up once I needed him.
I was not gonna lie―I was a little disappointed at him for not following me when Emmett called me to the media room.
But now I was sure he'd done the right thing. Had he come with me, I would've never witnessed what I did―Emmett's violent outburst caused by him finding out about my relationship with Edward, his remaining strong denial regarding his sexuality, his disrespectful and aggressive remarks, and his admission to his delusional ideas that I still wanted him and came to New York after him.
I chuckled at the memory of him calling Ed a 'fairy'―that single word snapped me out of the terrified state I was in, enabling me to evaluate the situation completely detached from it.
Aside from his sometimes-eccentric choices for outfits―like the black beret he wore last night―Edward was anything but girly or effeminate. When we were alone, he relaxed a little and his movements were a bit lighter, especially his arms and hands, but I knew for a fact that had to do with him being a pianist since I'd observed Seattle Orchestra's older pianist―who happened to be straight― making the same movements during a chat with Edward and the maestro.
Emmett's hateful words against Edward fueled my rage, giving me the strength I needed to vomit all the hurt and anger he had sown in my heart.
FUCK! Remembering last night, it suddenly dawned on me―how have I been so stupid?
All this time since I met Edward, I have been so concerned with the damages caused in his life by his relationship with James, better said, caused by James.
I had never considered, until now, how much my relationship with Emmett had screwed me up. I could say I had overcome a lot of issues but one was safely locked in a corner of my mind, and it hadn't been opened for discussion ever since―topping.
Now I felt so silly and stupid!
Of course I loved bottoming! The overwhelming sensations of being topped was all I wanted in bed―the feeling of the other guy's cock slipping in and out of me, my prostate being rubbed by it, his hand stroking my cock … dear God!
Of course my first time was horrendous! I was not physically, psychologically, or even emotionally prepared for it. And to top it all, the man whom I had sex with for the first time was that feral being that growled his sudden love for me last night; the man who tried to force me into a relationship with him against my will.
I wondered now if I would have bottomed first if my relationship had been with a different person. It wasn't like I'd always been into beefy tops my whole life. Emmett-types of guys were all I ran away from once we were over. I've never had a boyfriend like him since.
Bottoming was not something I decided on my own. When I was with Emmett―and we were together for a very long time―it was not like I really had a choice. Topping him was never a matter he was willing to discuss.
After that, it was just natural that I'd bottom, since I'd learned to like it so much.
Edward asked me if I'd top him if he ever wanted to bottom for me, and I said no. I said no for more than one reason, but I shouldn't have worried so much about how a first time might hurt. All I had to do was be really careful and loving, concerned about my boy's needs, and try to make him feel good despite the initial pain. It was not like he'd never bottomed before.
James was the second reason why I worried about the day he asked me to top him. Not really James, but their fall-out after he topped Edward. I'd be worried the same thing would happen between us. I knew he was different now, but would his feelings about bottoming be different too?
God! I knew how good a moist, warm mouth felt while sucking on my dick. I wondered how having my cock swallowed by the heat of Edward's tight, puckered hole would feel. I shivered at that thought. Would he feel as good as I felt when he was inside me?
My musings were interrupted by a sleepy Edward sliding down my body, settling between my legs, and nuzzling under my balls.
"I need my Sunday morning protein shake, love," he mumbled lazily before lapping his tongue from my scrotum to the tip of my cock, wrapping it between his lips in a swift movement, sucking on it all the way down, and making me impossibly harder!
Jesus Christ! He was getting better at it every time!
Now what the hell was Rose doing here on Sunday at … shit! It was noon already! I stood up from the pillows that constituted our make-do couch and went straight to the bedroom, bringing my bowl of fruit loops with me―I needed to put something on. I didn't really think Rose would enjoy seeing me wearing only my Superman underwear.
When I walked back, I found them in the kitchen. Rose already had a mug of coffee in front of her while sitting on one of the benches at the island.
"Morning, Rose!" I said as I walked in and met her for a peck on the cheek, her eyes showing remorse or something of the sort.
"Morning Jasper, I'm sorry for last night," she said lowering her head. Poor woman. What happened to me was nothing compared to what that meant to her.
"You've got nothing to be sorry for, Rose. In fact, I gotta thank you. I needed that," I said, pouring a cup of coffee for myself. Edward watched with curious eyes, while sipping his own cuppa.
"Thanks. You are lovely, you know that? What I did though, has no excuse, I just … Damn. I needed to know why, you know?" she asked, looking at me sincerely.
"Know why what?" I was confused.
"Well … while we were dating, way back, I always knew Emmett was different. It was how he looked at me, or how he didn't look at me and should have. I won't tell you all the details, but things in the bedroom with him were different from what my friends raved about with their boyfriends. I had never known anything different so …" she said, sighing. "On our wedding day I noticed something was wrong. Emmett was furious about something I couldn't really pinpoint. Now I feel so silly I didn't spot it at that time." She'd poured some more sugar in her coffee and started stirring it with a spoon.
"Emmett kept complaining about the cousin who decided to show the world he was queer by bringing a boyfriend to our wedding. I thought he was trying to aim his anger at that fact when he was really mad at someone else, maybe an ex-girlfriend. Only the day your mom called us, I saw the same anger flooding his eyes."
Rose sent me an apologetic look while taking a sip of her coffee and continued, "I needed to know for sure," she said, pursing her lips, her eyes small and regretful.
"Did it make it any easier knowing? I mean … You know he is gay, or bi, right?" I asked her honestly.
"I know, and now I really think he has never stopped fucking men while we were together all this time. In fact, I think he has a boyfriend in the club, a football player. I thought he was screwing a secretary or something, but there has been this guy calling the apartment almost every day for a while now. Emmett is very secretive when he picks up his calls. "
I couldn't help feeling angry at him again. Why do that to his wife?
"We are separated now, and soon he'll be out of my house and my life. I just wished he'd been honest with me, that's all." She looked defeated.
I couldn't help myself. I crossed the space between us and hugged her. She needed that, and I'd learned from Edward sometimes it's all we need―a touch, a hug.
Rose cried softly for a little while, and I let her go when she was feeling better.
"Still," she continued, "I had no excuse."
"It's okay. It's over now," I soothed. God, I wished she could have the chance I did of having someone as wonderful as Edward in her life.
"Enough with the heavy!" I heard Edward say animatedly as he picked up our dirty mugs and took them to the sink shooing us to the living room.
After a while, Rose felt more comfortable around us, and we went back to having a good time again.
She spent quite a long time with us that Sunday, and I was glad she did. We cooked lunch together and ate sitting around the island in the kitchen as we talked about everything and nothing at all.
She was awesome! Edward couldn't stop laughing at her jokes, and soon we felt as if we were all a real family. She promised to help us decorate the apartment, but Edward made her also promise she wouldn't bring any girly shit to our place like she had in hers. To that request she laughed and said she promised she'd try.
When Rose finally left, at around six in the evening, Edward had a huge smile on his face. Holding me from behind and nuzzling on my neck, he said, "That was fun. I think we should keep her." I turned in his arms and kissed him. Damn, I'd so missed his lips on mine.
God, this feels so great! Being able to be with him again, laughing and telling each other stories. After some quiet time together having some popcorn, watching a movie, and cuddling on the mattress in our bedroom, Ed remembered, "Hey … did you have all the milk with your cereal this morning?" he asked, kissing my neck at the end of his question.
"I don't think so. There's another box under the sink I guess," I answered.
"I'm gonna go check. I think I opened the last box last night," he stood up and padded to the kitchen.
He was such a baby. He had to have milk at almost every meal.
Now I felt guilty. Maybe I'd had all the milk.
Edward came back from the kitchen and picked his jeans from the floor putting them on while saying, "Love, I'm gonna go to the grocery store to buy some more milk. We're really out. Do you need anything?"
"No, I wanna go with you … I need to learn where everything is around here." Edward knelt down on the mattress close to me to kiss my cheek.
"No, love. Let's do that tomorrow when it's daylight, and we can take our time. I'm just gonna grab some milk and rush back home. Keep the bed warm for me, will ya?" he said, standing up and walking out the door.
As soon as I heard the front door closing, I saw Edward's cell phone on the floor next to our mattress. He'd be back for it for sure. He never left without it. I got dressed, determined to go with him once he came back for his phone.
Walking towards the door, already expecting him to come back, I heard the doorbell ringing.
Damn it. I guessed he forgot his keys too.
Not even looking through the peephole, sure it was Ed on the other side, I turned the doorknob open and didn't even have the chance to open the door.
I felt it being heaved open from the outside. As I was shoved back by the strength it was being pushed open with, I saw Emmett coming in like a bulldozer.
FUCK! What the fuck was he doing here?
"Emmett, what do you think you're doing?" I shouted at him.
"Need to talk to you," he said in a completely drunken voice, hands on his head shoving his hair back, making a mess out of it while walking around restless.
"I've got nothing to talk to you about. I need you to leave," I said in a much calmer voice, as I held the door open and trying to contain my wishes to just throw him out.
"I know your pansy boy isn't home. I saw him leaving," he stated with a scowl.
"If you wanna stay and talk you gotta respect Edward; this is HIS home. He's coming back soon, and I'm willing to call the police on your sorry ass if you don't keep your prejudice at bay and be civil for once in your fucking life!" My voice was demanding and loud, I was not kidding around.
At that threat, Emmet turned into mush, sinking to the floor and mumbling stuff I couldn't understand. I closed the door, frustrated with myself that I didn't make him leave immediately.
"What now?" I demanded, still standing far away from him and crossing my arms in an unwelcoming gesture.
He looked up at me and started his speech.
"Jasper … I love you. I've always loved you and … and I tried! I tried being a good husband for Rose. I tried forgetting you so bad …"
Did he think he was flattering me saying he tried to forget me that badly? He must be really drunk ... or really stupid. I didn't interrupt. I'd give him some more rope so he could hang himself with it.
"…I wanted to be different, but you know me. You, above everyone else, knows me. I need to be with you 'cause you understand what I need and want. You take care of my needs and were always so good at it."
Could he hear himself? Could he listen and understand what he was saying? I think I could label his speech as "The Selfish Closeted Gay Man's Confession." He was such a screw up.
"I never fucked … I mean, made love to anyone and felt as good as I felt with you and … and I want that back! I want it all back! Your friendship, your love … I want it all back! You're here now! That must be the cosmos conspiring in my favor!"
"Enough with the bullshit, Emmett!" I had to shut him up.
"The cosmos working my ass! I came to New York to be with Edward. You cannot barge into our lives and think you have the right to disrupt what we have with your occasional tantrums! I wonder what the fuck you're doing here when Rose told us you've already got a boyfriend! Can't you be loyal … even to him?"
Emmett was still on his knees shaking his head non-stop while listening to me.
"I don't fucking care what you did or didn't do to forget about me, or be happy some other way. I know I forgot about you a long time ago! I wanna have NOTHING to do with you, and you NEED to get that through your thick skull once and for all! You need to grow up, Emmett, or you will end up hurting whoever is around you forever!"
As I was speaking, he stood up and started taking his pants off.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing Emmett?" Did he think he was gonna convince me by showing me his dick? That would be funny.
"Put your pants back on, Emmett! Don't be ridiculous!" I shouted at him.
Shoving his boxers down now, he turned around and spoke, "If that's what it'll take to have you back, I'm willing to do it. You can fuck me, Jasper … I'm all yours to take." Emmett bent over the pillows on the floor, his round white ass pointed at me.
Jesus Christ! He must have been really drunk.
I was patient. I felt sorry for him. He had nothing. He was nothing special and had nothing to give anyone. Maybe some pleasure with that huge cock of his, but nothing else.
"Emmett, stand up, get dressed, and leave. This is ridiculous. Nothing you do will ever make me change my mind."
He shook his head no against the pillows, saying, "Not unless you take me."
I kept trying.
"Edward will be home soon, and I don't think you want him to see you like this."
He shook his head no again.
As I started again, I heard the key in the lock, and I started laughing. Edward would come inside and find Emmett with his naked ass in the air, and I didn't know why, but it made me laugh! It was disrespectful towards Emmett, I know. I couldn't help it, though.
As the door flew open, Edward's eyes widened, and he flushed in fury.
"What the fuck is going on here?" he asked, shoving the door closed. He saw me laughing and looked puzzled.
"Emmett needs some help with his pants. You think you can help him?" I asked him, chuckling. It was all I could manage to say. I needed Edward to know I was okay and that there was no danger. I wouldn't approach Emmett anyway―I'd stood across the room the whole time.
My amusement with the scene before me didn't affect Edward, though. He was still angry and seething. His whole body tensed up, his eyes blazing as he yelled, "Who the FUCK do you think you are coming to MY house uninvited? Get the hell up, get dressed and GET THE FUCK OUT NOW!" he growled, pulling Emmett up by his shirt.
Edward was right. Emmett had no right and, no matter how drunk he was, there was no excuse.
Emmett returned to his knees but refused to stand up.
"You don't let him top you, do you?" he asked Edward, and that caught us both by surprise. Edward stared at me with a 'what the fuck?' look. I shrugged and remembered I'd told Emmett I bottomed for Edward and not the other way around, but I never said he wouldn't bottom for me the other night. I shook my head no at Ed and walked closer to him. He lifted a hand, palm facing me to halt my movements, so I stopped.
"That's none of your fucking business," Edward leaned down to say it really close to Emmett's face, his voice menacing. "Now you will get up, pull those fucking pants up and get the fuck OUT!"
Standing up and doing what Edward told him―I was impressed, since, to my knowledge, he'd never accepted orders from anyone, Emmett snarled, "I'm leaving, alright. But I bet Jas is coming after me as soon as I close that door."
"Don't hold your breath," I retorted.
"And when he does, he'll know what a REAL man can do for him … He'll give up on your pansy ass!" Emmett completed, looking down at Edward.
I saw it all in slow motion; Edward's right arm pulling back, his elbow in the air behind him, his hand balled into a fist flying forward now, hitting Emmett's face so hard he stumbled back, falling to the floor, landing on his ass.
"You son of a bitch!" Edward yelled, shaking his hand at the sharp pain from the hit. "You think you're a MAN? You … are a disgusting RAT! Not only for what you did to Jasper, but for what you did to Rose too! You stupid SHIT! You are a LIAR! You are disloyal and disrespectful!" he kept yelling at Emmett, who was still on the floor, wiping his face with the back of his hand. I felt so proud of my man looking at his fierce posture yelling at the sobering bear.
"You are a FUCKING FAG, and you're not even man enough to admit it! Being a MAN is far from only having a cock and using it! It takes character, and you've got NONE! You are a pile of muscles with no values that thinks you can use people you claim to love!" Emmett stood up slowly, looking at Edward through his lashes with a scowl. Edward continued, "Don't you EVER show your face here again! Don't you EVER come looking for Jasper again, do you hear me?"
"And what makes you think that's what he wants?" Emmett growled. Edward looked at me and answered his question with so much love in his eyes, his voice soft as a caress; my heart melted into a pile of goo.
"Because I love him for real! He knows how much I do, and I show him exactly how much whenever I can, however I can, wherever I can. I ask nothing back. I take whatever he wants to give me. Maybe you should learn to do the same."
He looked back at Emmett and yelled one last time, "Now get the fuck out!"
I saw Edward move the fingers of the hand he had punched Emmett with, and by his expression, it hurt. Emmett didn't notice, though. He was already walking to the door, looking at me, maybe waiting for me to stop him. Soon he acknowledged I agreed with Edward, taking in my eyebrows furrowed at him.
I walked to the door, opened it and waited for him to leave. He stopped at the threshold one more time, raising his eyes to mine. I held his gaze with the same serious expression I did the first time, and he finally left.
Closing the door, I rushed to Edward, his arms opening for me to hug him.
"Thanks, love," I mumbled against his neck.
Edward held me tight, arms around my shoulders, his left hand pulling my head closer to him.
"Listen to me," he urged, speaking close to my ear. "You know I've never asked anything but for you to love me, right?" I nodded against his shoulder. "I'm gonna ask you one thing, just this once, okay?" I nodded again.
"Just this one thing I need, I really need … from you." He made me shiver to my bones with his words and his breaking voice. "I can't wait any longer. And I don't want it from anyone else but you." A chill ran up and down my spine as he kissed my neck.
I knew what he'd ask me.
Pulling my head back by my hair, looking deep into my eyes with those glistening emeralds that made my heart almost stop, he murmured, "I need you to make love to me."
Locking his lips to mine fiercely, his tongue dove into my mouth. The kiss was demanding and bruising; his teeth grazed my lips and skin, and I could feel him biting my tongue as he growled, gasped and moaned. His left hand pulling me closer than the laws of physics should allow.
Soon I felt his right fist pulling up my shirt, and his lips leaving mine in a moan of pain.
"Ouuuuuuch! FUCK!" he shouted with his face all screwed up, his left hand quickly grabbing his right wrist, his torso bending over in pain.
I held him up, trying to offer some support, but I had to lower him to sit on the floor because I noticed he was still hurting like a bitch and standing up would be a challenge for him at that moment.
"Baby, we need to take you to the E.R. We need to have your hand checked," I cooed.
"FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!" He growled some more.
"I'm gonna go grab my wallet and cell phone, and I'll be right back," I said, trying to check on him, but he was looking down at his wrist and all he could do was nod.
Arriving at the hospital, Edward was taken inside by a nurse. I sat in the waiting room worried. His hand had swollen a lot during the cab ride, and I wondered if it was broken or something.
As soon as he came outside, I noticed his frustrated face. I walked towards him, not waiting for him to come to me.
"How is it, love? Not broken, right?" I asked, touching his hands carefully.
Shaking his head no, he answered, "Don't think so. I had it x-rayed, but I need to wait 'til the results are ready to go see the doctor again."
My boy sounded so blue. I had to take him in my arms in a comforting hug.
"Sorry you had to do that, babe." I kissed his temple.
"Jay, I didn't have to. I did it 'cause I was crazed thinking about how he cornered you last night. He deserved it." I held him even closer.
"I just wish I wasn't a fucking queer, hurting myself while punching that bastard."
I pushed him back by his shoulders and made him look at me. "Don't talk about yourself like that! This has nothing to do with that!"
"I'm okay, love. Don't worry about it. It's just hurting so bad, and you know I'm not that resistant to pain, that's all," he replied, pulling me back to his embrace. "Now do you care to explain to me what Emmett was doing lying butt naked on the floor of our apartment when I walked in?"
Our apartment―those two words warmed my heart.
I told him the whole story, and he ended up laughing as I did when he arrived. The doctor called him back into his office, and when he came out, he had a smile on his face and his hand in a splint.
"He gave me some anti-inflammatory medication, and I need to keep my hand in this for a week," he showed me the splint.
"Shit! What are you smiling about? You won't be able to work for a week!" I told him wide eyed.
"I know … that sucks, but … I can't take a shower with my hand like this by myself, and you will have to wash me for a week!" he said, pulling me into his arms.
People around us heard him say that and hug me; most looked at us, some amused, some disgusted. Edward, noticing their reactions, pulled my face to his and kissed my lips ardently.
I closed my eyes not wanting to see what those people would do at the sight of two men kissing in the middle of the waiting room. As he pulled away, I looked around and no one was looking at us anymore.
"They need to get used to this … It's our duty to educate the idiots," Edward said with a warm smile on his face, his hand snaking around my back and pulling me to the exit.
Opening the door to our apartment, I stepped aside to let Edward in. His pain had subsided and his face was much more serene. Closing the door behind me, I turned to Edward, who was standing waiting for me.
"Come on, love. I'm gonna wash you just the way you like it," I said, wrapping an arm around his waist and steering him to our bedroom. "Does your hand hurt too much?"
"No … not anymore. Pain killers are working, I guess," he said, turning his face to me and giving me a peck on the cheek.
I took him to the bedroom and knelt in front of him, helping him out of his shoes, socks, pants and boxers. As I stood up, he waited until I carefully pulled his shirt up and out, paying close attention to his injured hand, to say in a husky voice as he looked deep in my eyes, "You didn't answer me…"
I knew what he was talking about, and I didn't pretend I didn't.
"Of course I'll make love to you," I cooed, pulling his naked body to me, taking in his smell and warmth, and knowing that was a resolution I had just made that morning, but not really thinking it would happen so soon.
The difference was now I thought of it with want. I wanted to have him like that. I was nervous because I wanted to give him the same pleasure he'd always given me. I knew I wouldn't hurt him. I knew he would tell me if I did, and I'd just stop and try again more carefully. But I felt like an actor on an opening night. There were butterflies in my stomach, even my heart felt their wings flapping.
"It doesn't have to be tonight," he murmured. I sighed in a bit of relief. "Maybe tomorrow," he completed.
"Maybe tomorrow," I repeated.
A/N – Hey guys! Thanks for the wonderful reviews you guys wrote and I'm sorry it took me so long to update this time. I was supposed to do it last weekend but had technical problems with some stuff around here. I love your feedback and gotta warn you next chapter is a bit… deeper, if you know what I mean *hides behind couch*.
Leave me your opinions and I would love to know what you think the "deeper" things will be! LOL
Hurry! Blue button is twitching to be clicked on! LOL