Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!

This is my first fic evah! Be nice

Warnings: Grimmichi. Guy x Guy, yaoi is plausable but for now Shonen-ai! Potty mouths! Dont like dont read!

Smile for me

"Look at me…" It's happening again…"Look at me!" I won't…. I can't….. I…"I know you can hear me!" I can… I wish I couldn't. What I would do if I couldn't hear anymore. I wouldn't have to listen to anyone…. if people couldn't speak. "If you're going to ignore me then take that pitiful face of yours and get!" I would get up and leave… but I won't… I can't. My feet won't allow me to do so. As much as leaving the shouts gives me such relief… I'm not moving.

"….I…I-I…I'm…sorry…." Somehow I managed to squeeze out my voice from my scratchy throat. Holding back the sob I wanted so badly to release I managed to look up.

"Screw your being sorry! It doesn't change the fact that you're a useless sack of shit!" The venom in his voice stung. The sob I was holding back throbbed. "All you are to me is arm candy, got it!" Before I could nod he grabbed my shirt collar, yanking me inches away from his face. "You mean nothing to me!" He spat the remaining venom out and shoved me away. I held back my tears… they were weakness in his eyes. I didn't want to be weak… "I'm leaving now…" He turned away from me, his back tensed up slightly. "I expect you to be better behaved… you can go wherever the hell you want but NO ONE… I repeat NO ONE is allowed through this door." He turned his head slightly, only to give me an icy glare. He then hissed what vaguely sounded like a "Got it?"

I nodded. I didn't trust my voice; the lump in my throat grew immensely in a matter of seconds. If I dare let but a breath from my lips, the tears would soon follow after… washing away my anger, my frustration I hold deep inside leaving only anguish. Drowning out whatever was left of me….. If anything were even left.

"Good…" His voice softened a bit. "I'll be back soon." He left after that. Without a goodbye he walked his way outside the apartment we shared, slamming the door behind him.

I didn't do much of anything after that… where he tossed me aside I only sat there. I looked around. The couch sat in the center of the room as always. The color slightly faded where many sat before. The TV against the far wall was a tad small. Pictures on the wall were crooked, some with mounds of dust. Finally finding the ability to move I walked over to one the pictures. Looking at it I met the sight of two people by the shore lovingly holding hands. They stared back at the camera with a scowl that didn't meet their dancing eyes. The smaller of the two looked familiar. He had toned muscles yet somehow remained a lithe body with almost feminine curves. His face was flushed a sweet pink and a scowl on his plump lips. His eyes where a melting chocolate with touches of honey, they oozed warmth, happiness, love. His hair stood out the most. It was short, sticking out in every direction and the color was bright orange. He looked so familiar… he looked like me… the difference was… he was actually happy.

"Heh… tell me Ichi…" The taste of my own name was sour. "What was it that made you happy back then…? I'd like to know. I-I" Then it happened… I let it go. Screaming out the sobs into the empty apartment. That's all I did that day. I screamed my throat raw. Everything hurt….

Chapter 1 Chance Meeting

It started out like another day … wake up, get dressed, eat breakfast, have my boyfriend of 4 years yell at me, and then he leaves to god knows where. Yet waking up that morning things… felt different. I couldn't quite place it. The usual heavy dread that settled itself in my stomach changed…..it got worse. I felt empty, as though I've shed all human emotion like a dog sheds hair. Heaving a crestfallen sigh I muscled my way into convincing myself to actually go somewhere. As much as I would much rather stay in bed and wait as my body slowly rot into its living corpse I'm surely becoming, but somewhere inside I wanted to escape the bars of my own apartment, even if but a day. I trudged my way to the front door, faltering for only a moment before pulling the door open.

The sun on my face felt brighter than I recalled. I scoffed at the cringe I made as I forced my way to see through the glaring light. "This just goes to show how much you need to go out more, Ichigo." I mumbled to myself. For a year now I've locked myself up or more so my boyfriend locking me, inside our apartment, after a month or two he stopped caring about where I went as long as I was back before him. He expected a college reports worth describing where I was and what I did upon return… even if I didn't go out. If stuttered, paused, or mumbled but once he would beat me… what a world I live in.

"Alright…. Where to go…" The outside world was that of another dimension now. The buildings, fences, and the like were only vague dreams in the depths of my mind. Not really knowing which way to go I started walking. I didn't know where I was walking… my feet just moved on their own. As long as it was away from home, I couldn't care less where I end up.

"Good Morning! You're a face I haven't seen in a while!" I twitched. I recognize that voice… "Well? How have you been?"

"…" I didn't answer at first. I only stared at the petite woman as she stares at me with large violet eyes…. I hated those eyes. "Fine…" Was all I said.

She tilted her head her bangs swaying slightly to the side. "That's all you can say?" She laughed. I hate her laugh. It wasn't even a laugh…. It was more like a cackle she forced from the back of her throat. "We used to be chums, Ichi!"

My stomach churned. The way she said my name was the very thing that made consider killing her. The way she would pay no mind to her cattiness, the way she only cared for things that affected her… the way she seems to have completely forgotten what she did to me. "Well…" I began. I wanted to snap and spit the venom I held back for so long. "… Well I…" I bit my lip. I couldn't bring myself to do it. "I need to go… sorry" I left. The last thing I saw before she disappeared behind several cars was a look she gave me. I couldn't read that look… I've never seen such an expression on her. It looked like disgust, aggravation… and, something else. Pity? No, that's not right.

I didn't dwindle on her puzzling facial expression for long. I slowly started to remember my surroundings after I passed a small flower shop. I glanced down at the stand settled outside the shop.

The aroma they gave off was very fresh, and clean. The smell made me smile. I slowly reached out, brushing the tips of my fingers gently. I breathed in the scent… the feeling of nostalgia filling my mind.

All I could see was my mother; she would bring a different flower home every day. She would say "Ichigo, isn't this s pretty flower?" I would only nod through tears. My childhood was full of teases and numerous bullies. " The flower can be yours on one condition…" She would bend down gently patting my head. " Smile for me…"

The sweet emotions turned bitter… my mother left me one stormy night. I never got her flowers since then…

"Hey!"

"…"

"HEY!"

I snapped back into reality. Turning to the gruff voice I only glared.

….The dude has blue hair…..BLUE. EFFING. HAIR! ….. And people make fun of me? The hell.

I assume I was making a face. He gave me a quizzical look in silence then opened his mouth. "If you're done gawking at my hair… I was wondering if you're alright."

"I'm fine!" I spat. "Why would think something was wrong!" I scowled at him.

He grunted softly/ "You were crying…" He runs a large hand through his blue hair.

"I wasn't-" I reached up a hand to my cheek… it was wet. "…"

I couldn't believe it…. How could I let my weakness seep through so easily…?

The man sighed. "Look, I haven't the slightest idea what crawled up your ass and died…" I gave the deadliest of glares I could pull off. "But, you shouldn't let that bother you…"

I looked away. "Whatever…" I needed to get away. I couldn't let anyone else see me like this…

"That aside" He sounded peeved at my behavior. Pfft. Good. Guy has a short temper. Just piss him off a little more and he can leave me the hell alone! "….. Smile…"

…..My heart stopped. I turned quickly to see a flower outstretched to my reach…. I didn't notice my hand grabbing it. It was a Lily…. Looking up at the man I noticed….

The most beautiful pair of eyes I've ever seen… I felt myself drowning in those oceanic orbs. My breath hitched. Every emotion I thought I had lost suddenly came rushing in through my entire being.

My cheeks flushed, likely a deep scarlet as he brushed past me.

"See ya!" He left…

I tightened my grip on the flower… my heart….

My heart….

It hurt so much….but,

I didn't hate it…..

I love him.

I love him.

I love him.

I'm just too stupid to notice yet….

To be continued…