|Confusion and Dancing 2: LOST IN SPACE!
Author: Jedi Annie Scrambler PM
A crazy story in space including some "Wicked" people, Amelia Earhart, and lots of dancing. Crossover: Wicked, RENT, and Star Wars. AU. Elphaba/Fiyero, H/L, Luke/Historical Figure, OC/OC, Ani/AmiRated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 33,915 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 06-22-12 - Published: 02-17-12 - Status: Complete - id: 7844234
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
CHAPTER FIVE: ONWARD, TO KASHYYYK!
HEY! This is Meg! YOU WILL NEVER GUESS WHAT WAS WAITING FOR US WHEN WE WOKE UP! Seriously! Guess!
PERSONAL DATAPADS WITH HOLONET AND INSTANT MESSAGING CAPABILITIES! Yeah! It's awesome! They are slim and flat and fit perfectly in our bags-that-hold-everything! (But what doesn't fit in our bags-that-hold-everything?)
Ooh! Instant message from Taylor!
DanceGirl44: u there?
SkyWriter21: yep! Where ru?
DanceGirl44: in random room.
SkyWriter21: that's not vague.
DanceGirl44: idk where I am. Waiting 4 Ani bcuz he wants to talk to all of us. WHERE RU?
Oh… right… that meeting thing with Anakin and Luke… dang.
SkyWriter21: oh crap. B right there.
EnPointe22: where ru?
SkyWriter21: on my way!
EnPointe22: Yay! Hurry!
LeiaOrgana: could you come by?
LeiaOrgana: I need to talk to you.
LeiaOrgana: and why is your screen name "SkyWriter"? It sounds like "Skywalker."
SkyWriter21: it wasn't on purpose. That they sound the same, I mean! When do you need me?
WordDancer21: There I changed my name.
WordDancer21: I can't come now. I have meeting thing. With Luke and his dad.
LeiaOrgana: yes I like that better. Right. As soon as you get out of that meeting I want you at the falcon.
WordDancer21: Yes m'lady.
LeiaOrgana: What was that?
WordDancer21: logged off
TRANSCRIPT OF MEETING WITH LUKE SKYWALKER AND ANAKIN SKYWALKER AS TYPED UP BY FIYERO TIGELAAR:
Anakin Skywalker (Officially): Thank you all for coming today.
Fiyero (ME!): You're welcome!
Anakin (miffed): As I was saying, Luke tells me that you all are Force sensitive. So we decided that- after we find my wife, Padme Amidala- that we could start a Jedi Academy to train the warriors of tomorrow!
Meg (whispering to Taylor): Gee, did he take public speaking lessons? This sounds fake-y and forced… no pun intended.
Taylor (whispering back to Meg): Yeah.
Anakin (turning to Luke): My son has gifts for you all.
Summer (happy-whispers to Carl): Ooh! Presents!
Luke (holding up A LOT of light saber thingies): I have light sabers for each of you. When Dad was Darth Vader he kept all the light sabers from all the Jedi that were killed. So now we have enough for all of you! Hey, what are you typing?
Meg (officially): It's the transcript of our meeting. For posterity.
Taylor (leaning over to look at what Fiyero has typed): But he's putting… adjectives in the transcript!
Meg (also leaning over): Oooh! Cool! Don't stop!
Anakin (slightly annoyed looking): Ah. Can we get on with this?
Luke (brightening): Oh yes! Here Carl, Master Obi-Wan Kenobi's light saber.
Carl Jacobson (impressed): Wow. Thanks.
Luke: Taylor, Master Kit Fisto's saber.
Taylor (in awe and turning on the green saber): whooooaaaa…
Luke: Michael, Master Ki-Adi-Mindu's light saber. Lane, A'Sharad Hett's double blades. Brad, Master Plo Koon's light saber.
Lane: Wow. Thank you sir.
Michael: Yeah, thanks.
Brad: This is so cool!
Luke: Brandi, Master Adi Gallia's blade. Meg, Count Dooku's saber.
Meg (jumping up): WHAT? REALLY! THAT'S AWESOME!
Anakin (solemnly): May you use it for good, and not evil as Dooku did.
Meg: I will TOTALLY use it for good. THIS IS SO COOL!
Luke: Elphaba, Master Yoda's light saber. Summer, Master Mace Windu's light saber. Fiyero, Master Eeth Koth's blade. Maureen, Master Saesee Tiin's saber. And- (he turns happily to Amelia) For Amelia Earhart, Aayla Secura's blue blade.
Summer (turning on light saber): oooh! Purple!
Elphaba (also turning on light saber): Oh. Green. Lovely. My favorite color.
*Meg giggles at Elphaba's remark*
Anakin: Well, get acquainted with your sabers. We will begin training soon!
Luke: Be careful! Don't cut off any arms or legs! They're not toys!
Brandi (waving him off): Yeah, yeah, yeah.
"So, are you coming to the mess hall with us?" Brandi asked me as we filed out of the meeting room with our new 'sabers, "We're gonna spy on Miss Britt and Jesreeves and Miss Steph and Mal!"
"Um, I want to but I can't, Leia texted me right before the meeting and she wants to see me or something. Anyway, I have to go to the Falcon," I said turning the opposite way. Summer fell into step next to me and looped an arm through mine.
"Did you say you were heading to the Falcon?" she asked.
"Cool, that's where we're going too," she gestured to Carl and her other side, then said, "Lets all walk together!"
"Hello-oo?" Summer called into the Falcon's galley as we walked in, "It's Summer and Carl and Meg! Anyone home?"
"Oh good. You came," Leia said stepping out from the cockpit. (Why do they call it a 'cockpit'? I mean, REALLY?)
"What is that? You have a light saber?" she cried looking from my waist to Summer's to Carl's.
"Yeah…" I paused, "Anakin gave them to us? Because your brother wants to start a school? For Jedi…?" everything sounded like a question. Drat!
"A Jedi school? Luke and Anakin?" she snorted, "Turn on the saber."
"What?" no, no, no, no, no. She'd freak out if I turned this thing on! It's red.
"Turn on your light saber."
"Um, naw… I'm good."
"Turn it on Meg."
"Okay," I said in a small voice and thumbed it on.
"RED? HE GAVE YOU A RED LIGHT SABER? ANAKIN?" Leia yelled. I turned the light saber off than stepped back, half behind Summer.
"Um… no, Luke did. Gave it to me, I mean."
"WHAT? LUKE!" Leia cried, "Is he trying to make you evil!"
Even though I sensed it was rhetorical, (Hey! I'm using the Force!) I felt the need to point out, "Just because you have a red light saber, that doesn't make you evil. It just makes you… not blue or green."
"Or purple," Summer supplied.
"Yeah. Not purple either."
"Hm," Leia glared at me, "Sit."
Summer squeezed my hand for support then disappeared with Carl. I blanched, and sat, saying nothing.
"So, it seems you and your friends have had quite the adventure. I read your records," Leia said, also sitting.
"Uh-hu," I mumbled.
"Han and I don't feel comfortable here on this ship, as you know,"
"So I need some one to be my eyes and ears outside the falcon. Han… disapproves of letting me roam about and I agree with him… to a point. I don't think being confined to the Falcon is completely necessary but I also don't think it'd be safe of us to be about in this Star Destroyer. That's why you're here,"
"Yes, I need you to just… be around. Gather information. Find things out for me. You and your friends seem to be the honored guests of Anakin and Luke so I don't think anyone will bother you. Plus, you have a light saber, that makes you even more untouchable by the crew here."
"Oh… okay… thanks? I think," I mumbled.
"I can contact you via your datapad or by comlink, here's one with a closed circuit, only Han and I can reach you on it," Leia handed me a comlink.
"Thanks. So, I'm like your spy?" I was liking this idea.
"You could say that," she paused, "You'd better get to lunch, and don't tell anyone about this, it's our little secret. May the Force be with you."
"May the Force be with you! Bye!" I said shoving the com in my pocket and darting down the gangplank.
A review of the fine cuisine on The Jedi's Angel, by Fiyero Tigelaar
It sucks. The food here really sucks. It's worse than the crap they call food at Shiz! Here they give you this grey mush and some weird salad made with orange leaves and purple… stuff. And to drink they have blue milk! Yeah! More blue milk!
"Hey, what's for lunch guys?" Meg asked happily sitting down next to Lane with her tray, "Mmm, looks… promising?"Brad looked at her like a flower was growing out of her head, "What are you talking about? This food is yucky!"
"I never said what it was promising, just that it was. It's promising to be bad!"
"What?" Michael asked, mouth full.
"Where were you?" Lane asked her kissing her temple.
"Oh, ha ha, no where," Meg laughed nervously before adding in soft tones, "Tell you later?"
"So Fiyero's already managed to destroy something," Elphaba told the table.
"Hey! It was accident!" I cried, "I swear!"
"That's what you said when you hit that Lando person!" Fae fired back.
"Speaking of which, how is he?" Meg asked, "I haven't seen him since you, well, smushed him."
"He's recovering very well in the med bay," Maureen supplied, "I just saw him this morning before our little meeting with that hottie, Anakin."
"He's married!" Taylor interjected.
"So?" Maureen asked innocently, failing to see Taylor's point.
"So his wife- if she's still alive- would totally kill you if you tried anything!" Meg said.
"But you said 'if she's still alive,' so that means she might not be alive. So totally have a change with him!"
"No, you don't," Taylor muttered.
"What is this stuff we're eating?" Britt asked, poking at her grey mush.
"Mush," I supplied.
"There's no such thing!" Steph said looking at me.
"Yes there is," Meg replied, "Ever read the kids' book 'Good Night Moon'? One of the lines is 'Good night nobody, Goodnight mush' and it shows a picture of, like, oatmeal."
"Nanny always made us eat mush in the colder months," Elphaba agreed, "Nasty stuff."
"Mmm… blue milk," I said taking a drink.
Random texting after lunch Part I:
WordDancer21: Lando is recovering in the med bay.
LeiaOrgana: good. Han will be glad to hear that.
WordDancer21: Maureen has been checking on him. He calls her his 'angel'.
LeiaOrgana: ah. Thank you.
WordDancer21: you better warn him or something. Maureen likes to cheat AND she has a girlfriend back home.
LeiaOrgana: you mean boyfriend.
WordDancer21: no. girlfriend.
WordDancer21: Yes! Oh!
Ode to being lost on a space ship with no food, by Fiyero
Ode, ode to no food!
Ode, ode to no good!
I am lost
On a ship
That's in space!
Ode, ode, ode!
The only thing I want
Is where is the
Food? I know that
I've already eaten but
I am still hungry! And where
Friends? And what
Does "ode" mean
DOES ANY ONE KNOW?
Random texting during lunch Part II:
DanceGirl44: What are you doing?
BBallBoy13: oh, Elphaba wanted me to help her with something. Want to come?
THE FABLED TALE OF WHAT HAPPENED TO MICHAEL, A CAUTIONARY STORY RETOLD BY MEG
So right after lunch, Michael and Taylor decided to go see Elphaba because she needed some help and Fiyero was out writing stupid poetry. I tagged along too because I had nothing better to do.
"Oh good, you're here," Elphaba commented as we walked in, "Michael, I need to test this new spell, stand over there."
"Okay now what?" he asked once he was standing in the desired spot. (Getting him there, I would like to point out, took some time. "No not there, there." Elphaba said about 4 trillion times. "Here? Here? Here?" Michael asked only 525,600 more times.)
"Alctera, seltatterlei, melchunimore, feelitanneray!" Elphaba chanted, reading from her large book, "SELATERMETTOO!"
Then, in a cloud of blue smoke, Michael disappeared! Leaving behind only his light saber!
"MICHAEL!" Taylor shrieked, running to the spot he had once stood.
"MICHAEL!" I cried, "OHMYGOSH. WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?"
"Uuuh, um, I don't know…" Elphaba stalled reading her book, "I erm, To send one to their Heart's desirer… I think. I sent him to his heart's desirer!"
"Can you bring him back?" Taylor asked sadly.
"Here's a spell!" Elphaba said after a moment of council with her book, "A spell for bringing forth your one true love! How about that?"
"Yes! Yes! Perfect!" Taylor cheered clutching Michael's light saber.
"Oordban nioriis calanomay… oordban nioriis calanomay! Chocatizoa!"
And there was another burst of blue smoke! But when it cleared it wasn't Michael standing there but-
"PETER?" Taylor demanded.
"PETER?" I also cried. For it was Peter- sometimes called Joseph- Charles, Taylor's friend and dance partner standing there after Elphaba had called forth her "One True Love."
"Whao! Where am I?" Peter asked looking, well, conusified!
"You're on the star destroyer The Jedi's Angel," I explained, "This is Elphaba Thropp, she just brought you here by using a spell that was suppose to bring forth Taylor's one true love! Apparently you're made for each other!"
"Meg!" Taylor whacked me then turned to Peter, "Here," he gave him Michael's light saber, "This is for you."
"Wow," Peter took a blade and turned it on, "Ice blue! Nice! So, like, I'm in Star Wars or something? And is she green?"
"Yep!" I said, "and yep! Isn't that just the coolest?"
"Ohmigosh! We should go tell Summer!" Taylor cried looking at me, "She'd be happy to see Peter!"
"Summer's here?" Peter asked.
"Yeah! And so is Carl!" I added.
"Whoa Weird!" he said.
"Um… who are you?"
I rolled my eyes, "I'm Meg, Taylor's friend."
Another poem by Fiyero called "Oh!"
WordDancer21: Okay, there has been a development!
LeiaOrgana: What is it?
WordDancer21: Elphaba accidentally used magic to… send Michael away, (out of this world, I think) so then when she tried to bring him back she brought this other guy, Peter- sometimes called Joseph- Charles. Now he and Taylor are in love.
LeiaOrgana: I don't quite understand.
WordDancer21: Yeah… it's confusing. But now Taylor, Peter and I are coming over to find Summer and Carl because Summer knows Peter/Joseph.
Leia looked up as we walked in, "What's he doing here?" she asked when she saw Fiyero. Fiyero had joined us half way to the falcon. "I'm lost," he'd announced.
"He was lost," I said, "Is Summer here?"
"What's Summer doing here again?" Peter asked Taylor. We'd been trying to explain the whole thing on the way there. He wasn't getting it.
"Okay, so we were on this cruse ship," she began.
Leia turned to me, "She's in the crew's cabin with her husband."
"Okay cool," I said, "I'll go tell her we're here or something… yeah…"
Leia murmured something, already turned back to her datapad. I walked down the hall and tapped on the crew cabin's door.
"Hello? Summer? Are you there?"
I slid the door open, "hey!" I said in greeting.
"Hi!" Summer was doing the splits on the floor, and Carl was reading something on the bed.
"Bananas!" Summer guessed.
"Nope! Elphaba accidentally used magic to send Michael… away!"
Summer gasped dramatically.
"THEN she tried to use magic to bring him back but instead of Michael, Peter- you know, Joseph- Charles appeared!"
Summer did her dramatic gasp thing again and got up, "Peter's here! Really?"
"Yes!" I cried, "he's right outside!"
Summer followed me out, "OHMIGOSH! PETER!" she screamed.
Poor Peter. He was then kind-of-sort-of attacked by Summer who gave him a big hug and was still kind-of-sort-of screaming.
"Hi!" he said, "yeah I'm… here. Where ever 'here' is."
"LOOK AT THIS!" Fiyero yelled then, "IT'S THE WORLD'S MOST POWERFUL PORTABLE JUICER! FOR JUICING ON THE GO!"
"Did you just juice my toast?" Leia asked indignantly.
"Why chew what you can drink?" Fiyero replied.
She glared at him.
Hello, this is Elphaba. While Meg, Taylor, and that new boy, Peter we're going to find Summer, I was in the mess hall with Britt, Steph, Brandi, Brad and Maureen. Brandi and Brad where trying to do the impossible, while the rest looked on.
"Okay, so what if we attach the third section of playing board here," Brandi pointed, "so it makes a triangle."
"How would we number the squares?"
"I don't know!"
They were trying to make three-way chess.
"Well this was your idea!"
"Yeah but you wanted to make the other new pieces. Who needs a piece called Prince Joey?" Brandi demanded.
"He's the King's stupid cousin! Every time he moves there is a one in five chance he might kill himself!" Brad said, in defense of his creation.
"That's so stupid!"
"Yeah, he is!"
"Okay, so how about we connect the boards like a triangle and make the inside parts labeled in points," Brandi suggested after a moment in thought.
"Okay, that might work. But can we still keep Prince Joey?"
Meanwhile, Maureen was trying to make up what she called "a Rap."
"I need some mon-eey! It's not real fun-eey! Break it down lo-o-o-o-o-o-ow! Lo-o-o-o-o-ow! Slo-o-o-o-o-o-ow! And stop…. GO!" she was getting louder by the second and attracting odd looks from the crew near by, "YOU SMELL SO FRUUUUUITY!"
"What are you singing?" Britt asked.
"I am writing my own rap song. They are all the rage in America, BTW," Maureen informed her.
"We know what rap is," Steph said, "We're from America too!"
"Well I need… duty?" Maureen tried to go on, "Just don't be dirty! BRAIN FREEZE!"
"Oh my dear Britt," Jesreeves said coming in, "Would you like to go for a stroll around the ship?"
"Yes! I would!" Britt said jumping up.
"Awww… they are so cute," Brandi gushed.
"Yo yoyoyoyoyoyo!" Maureen 'rapped,' "Whaaaaooooo!"
Steph shook her head.
OH MY GOSH. YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED.
Okay, this is Meg, for one thing, and me, Taylor, Lane, Peter, Brandi, and Brad were all testing out our light sabers in this big empty room that we'd found. We were all kind of showing off and Brad was like, "Hey look at this!"
So we looked. He was swinging his light saber again when it slipped from his grasp! I know! But t the same time he let go of it, Lando, now completely better from the whole Fiyero-driving-the-falcon-and-squishing-him thing, and Maureen (?) walked around the corner! AND BRAD'S FLYING LIGHTSABER HIT LANDO AND CHOPED OFF HIS LEG! YEAH!
Maureen started freaking out. Brad started freaking out too. I used my comlink to tell the med center and then Han and Leia what happened.
Then Lando- followed by a sobbing Maureen- was carted off BACK to the med center to try to help him. But I don't know what they can do because he's MISSING A LEG!
Oh yeah. We've also landed on Kashyyyk!
Yay! Wookies! (That should SO be a magnet.)
Heeeeyyyyyy! Guess what? I DO NOT own Star Wars, Wicked, or RENT. Or the Victorious and Big Bang Theory references!
Guess what? (it's not bananas!) I just saw Revenge of the Sith for the first time! Yeah! My friend Taylor and I just watched it and laughed at all the wrong parts! (But can you blame us? See-threepeo is so stupid when he walks! I mean, come on!)
Anyway, Carl? Peter?
*Carl and Peter begin playing their violins*
Maureen: I'd like to tryyyyyy defyyyy-
Summer: Pleeeeaaaasssseeee reviiiieeeeewwww!
JAS: We'll give you a smoothie!
Taylor: That are made with ice cream and raspberries!
JAS: That's not a smoothie!
Taylor: oh well…
Brandi: mmmm…. Ice cream!
Maureen: IT SMELLS SO FRUUUITY!