Author: The Cliffhanger Girl PM
Peace-the one thing that Eli could never feel. Until, his true emotions are put onto the table, only for Clare to see.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Clare E. & Eli G. - Words: 2,059 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 02-19-12 - Status: Complete - id: 7851660
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Hey guys! I think it's time for a sad one-shot...but, it'll end happy, I promise you that. I haven't been writing many one-shots, or two-shots, mainly because I've been focusing on my other stories-when I can, that is. Please Enjoy This little one-shot I'd like to call "Peace"...
No Beta Reader, so ignore mistakes if any :)
"Who am I?"
"Why was I born?"
"Why am I here?"
These are only a few of the many questions that race through my head every second, of every minute, of everyday. My mind constantly comes up with these thoughts that can bring me down from a high in a matter of seconds.
At one moment, I could be hanging out with my best friend, Clare, pushing her on the swing back and forth. At that second I'd be smiling, laughing at how ridiculously careless she looked. Her auburn curls flowing in the wind, her head tossed back, trying to see what I was doing, making the swing become unbalanced. She's always giggling, smiling, and when it's time for her to go home, that calm feeling in my stomach disappears, only to be replaced by a churning, gurgling feeling to replace it.
"Why do you hang out with me everyday? Why don't you hang out with your boyfriend? Or that girl Alli?" I always ask her when we're standing on her porch, the only light coming from the shade flowing open due to the blasting air conditioner.
"Because, they're not like you," She says, with a grin on her face, her blue eyes glistening.
Things like these, times like these, moments like these, always go by so quickly.
What I've learned so far in life, is that these moments, like the ones I have with Clare, are special. No matter how depressed, how lonely, how sad I feel when I walk off that door step every hot, humid, summer night.
"Will you come back tomorrow?" Clare always asks, a nervous tone in her voice, and I'll scoff, digging my hands in my pockets, looking up at her, "What makes you think that I won't be?"
She'll look down, her smile fading, probably thinking about the possibilities of me not coming back. But, she doesn't even see it! It kills me that she doesn't realize how much I need her, or how she's the only reason I wake up everyday.
But, to my dismay, and foolishness, I keep coming back.
From time to time, I'll take a stroll on my way to Clare's when I'm running a few minutes early, through the cemetery. I'll stop dead in my tracks, as will my heart, and I'll glare at my best friend's tombstone.
Beloved brother, son, and humble friend.
March 15th, 1995-March 15th, 2011
I'll trace my fingers over his name, which has been emended with dirt. I'll pick at his stone, where his name is, digging out the dirt with my fingernails. I'll sit there, my knees sinking into the leaves with a groan escaping my lips with each letter that I pick at.
Why don't the people who work here walk around and inspect these grave sties?
These people matter!
Just because they're dead doesn't mean they just poof into Outer space. Their bodies lie beneath us, resting in eternal peace. That's what the priest said at his funeral, that now "he could rest in peace".
Ever since that day, I've been waiting, waiting for my peace.
When's my turn?
I'll sit by Adam's grave when I'm done helping clean off his stone, and I'll pick at the leaves on the ground. Tears always prick my eyes, just thinking about how much him leaving me changed my life. I never knew how much he meant to me, until he was gone.
My heart races, my mind weakening as I whisper, "I-I know why you killed yourself buddy...I know why. And I'm so sorry I wasn't there that day to protect you from him, to protect you from the insanity. But I get you now! I know how it feels to be alone, to feel empty, to feel NOTHING!"
I remember how I sat at his grave site that day, whimpering like a baby to no one, just the air, "I-If I wouldn't have skipped that day, if I wouldn't have agreed to help Clare with that assignment, I could've saved you! W-we were supposed to play video games after school and hang out together!"
When I started screaming at the grave, nobody heard me, but only my subconscious had tortured me, "I'm sorry Adam, I'm s-so sorry. I'm sorry I let Fitz hurt you, I-I'm sorry that I couldn't help you handle it! I'm sorry!"
"Eli, Clare, there's something we have to tell you," Clare and I were writing our English assignments, but paused, when the door had opened, revealing a teary-eyed Helen and a blubbering Cece.
Clare glanced at me with a worried look, as Helen whispered, "You guys, I really don't know how to tell you this...but that boy, Fitz, beat up your friend during school today."
"Is he okay?" I asked, shooting up from the ground like a bullet out of pistol, "Sweetheart, Adam's parents found Adam."
"What do you mean they found Adam? Is he okay? Did he get a broken nose or something?" Clare asked, gripping onto my bicep nervously, as Cece shook her head, looking at me, "His parents found him, he hung himself."
Clare was on the floor, sobbing hysterically at the loss of her friend, but I, on the other hand, had no emotion to share with anybody. All I did was stand there, my hands balling into fists, and a nervous glance from Cece.
"No, no he can't be dead," Clare sobbed, as I glanced down at her, her tears hitting the carpet floor.
"Eli! He can't be dead!" Clare's words were piercing my ears, so I gave her one last glance, before rushing pass the two worried mothers. I swung open Clare's door, running in the direction of Adam's house. He'd be there, I knew he would be, smiling, and plugging in the second remote controller for me. Yeah, he'd definitely be there. I'm sure of it.
"Eli! Wait up! Eli!" My mind is tricking me into believing Clare is beside me, running with me, but when I feel her hand interlock with mine, I know for a fact, that she's really with me. I grip her hand, tugging her as we run to our legs abilities.
When we reach Adam's house, there's police everywhere, and I hit the floor, my knees cracking on the cement as I watch a body bag being carried out of the house. Clare buries her head into my shoulder, her curls scratching my neck as I touch her shoulder, whimpering, "H-He's gone Clare, he's gone."
"Let's run away together," Clare suggests, breaking me out of my thoughts as I smirk, "I think the heat is getting to your head Edwards, why don't you just keep your head buried in that book and we can talk about it later?"
She looks at me, hurt in her eyes as she whispers, "You know you don't like it here just as much as I don't."
"Clare, you love it here, you have your family, your friends, your boyfriend," I tell her, just reminding her of what she has. She has all these people in her life that love her, but I, only had Adam. Of course I have my parents, but I don't speak to them much anymore, only because I know that the people I love only go away. But Clare, I don't love her, I just strongly like her, which is difference.
"Just because I have all those things doesn't mean I want them," I quirk my eyebrows up at her, trying to crack a joke to see her smile, "Oh, so you don't need your Romeo, Jake Martin? Your heart wouldn't stop without him by your side?"
She smiled, "I don't even like him, all he wanted was a one time thing..."
"Did you...?" I asked, as she grinned at me, throwing her book aside and crawling to my side, "Do you think I would actually do that Eli? We're best friends, I would never give it up to him."
"So what if we're best friends? That has nothing to do with your boyfriend and you," I said, glancing down at my comic book, "Eli, you're my best friend, and I love you. I would never hurt you like that."
"Why would you giving your abstinence pledge up hurt me?" I asked, as she looked at me, "You were obviously hurt when I told you that Jake only wanted one thing. You care about me Eli, you said it yourself."
"Just because I care, doesn't mean I love you," I hissed, as Clare backed away from my side, only to stand up, but fail miserably at walking away. She stumbled over a rock that was settled in the graveyard, letting out a yelp, "Ouch!"
"Oh Jesus Clare, why are you so clumsy?" I asked, looking at the tiny leaves in her hair and the scrape across her hand from a stick on the dirt covered ground. Tears slipped through her eyes, as she said, "Don't touch me-if you don't care, then just leave me alone."
She ripped her hand out of my grip, as I glanced over at Adam's tombstone, "Clare stop!"
Her body froze, her hand shaking from the cut and her breath hitching as I said, "I'm afraid to lose you Clare. I lost Adam because I didn't protect him, I lost him because I loved him. I can't love you Clare, I just can't."
I watched with tears staining my cheeks as she whispered, "Yes you can Eli, the greatest love of all, is the power to love again."
"What makes you think that you're going to survive? T-that I won't lose you?" My chest heaved as Clare pushed back my hair, curling it behind my ear, "I can't promise you anything Eli, but what I can promise you, is that I will love you until the day we lose each other."
I gripped onto her hand, as she stroked it across my cheek, "Which is never Eli, because love is for eternity."
My mind had cleared, as if some pixie dust had fallen upon me, giving me this happy, glowing feeling. But when I opened my eyes for a split second, I knew that it wasn't magic, it was just Clare.
Her plump lips were against mine, the warmth of her body embracing me as I snaked her arms around her frail waist. My hand grips onto the back of her summer dress, as I feel her giggle against my mouth, only to pull away and lean her forehead against mine.
I'm staring into her blue eyes, as she whispers, biting back her bottom lip, "I love you so much Eli."
"C-Clare, I love you too," I whisper, and even though I wish I hadn't, and I wish I had regretted it, I don't. I don't feel an ounce of regret because I know if Clare and I had made it exactly a year without Adam, our beloved best friend, I knew that we would make it even longer.
As Clare and I stand side by side, looking admirably at Adam's tombstone, our hands interlock, and her head rests on my shoulder.
These moments, are the reason that I can now say, I feel...at peace.
END OF PEACE
Has anybody given up on Eclare? Hope not!
Love you guys,