Author's Note: This is a Homestuck AU featuring lawyers, scientists, gangsters, and multiple pairings. Thanks to Arcaneseamstress and Authenticcheese over on Tumblr for pretty much being the muses behind these sick fires I lay down. :o)

John Egbert vs. Jake English

Nervously biting his bottom lip, John read through the reports that Kanaya had forwarded to his office. Vriska had been lying, at least in part. Not that John was in the least bit surprised. Everything Vriska said was at best a half truth. Even if she wasn't petitioning for a divorce, the divorce was the reason for the current court case. She was contesting that while she and Dave were married, she had become an indispensable asset to his shitty JPEG artifact company, responsible for its nearly four hundred percent increase in profits. In the divorce, she only got a few million and she was contesting that she deserved so much more than that.

John hated to admit it, but just from his initial read through, Vriska had put together quite the compelling case. He should have been happy. Most lawyers would give up any one of their most prized body parts for such an easy case. John, however, was not most lawyers. Ok, that isn't true. He was exactly like most lawyers.

He was an average lawyer. He was exactly the average lawyer.

If you took all of the lawyers that ever were and created some sort of kick ass bell curve, John would be at the very top. He would sit upon a throne on the top of the legislative bell curve, a throne made out of student debt and videos of cheating spouses.

John hit his head against the steering wheel a few times. Mentally, he berated himself for falling into such an old habit. He always used to think about stupid shit when he was overwhelmed. He thought he was better now...

He looked up when he heard a light tap on the passenger side window. A young bespectacled boy with familiar black hair stood there, his head cocked to the side. John quickly looked at his watch. School had gotten out some ten minutes ago!

Quickly apologizing, John unlocked the door so that the boy could get in. "Hey there, Jake! How was school today? I bet you kicked some major ass in PE, huh?" he asked through a flurry of nervous laughter, quickly trying to shove the folder of papers into the back seat.

Jake watched as some of the papers slip out of the folder before looking back at John. Most of the words he read, he did not understand, but he could understand that his grandfather was not his normal enthusiastic self. "Is something the matter, Popop? You seem nervous."

Sighing, John shook his head, turning on the car. He tried to pull out onto the road, but was blocked by three school buses and a quickly maturing traffic jam. Why did every elementary school have to have after-school traffic congestion?

"It's nothing, Jake. Nothing for you to worry about anyway. It's grown up stuff," he chuckled, reaching out to ruffle Jake's hair.

Jake grumbled a bit as he reached his hands up to fix his hair. "Well if you do not wish to engage in a bit of the verbal exchange, I suppose I will not push the topic."

"Thank you."

"You are still going to take me to my friend Dirk's house today, correct?"

The color drained from John's face. The last thing he wanted was to be anywhere near the Strider estate. News had probably reached Dave by then that John would be representing Vriska in her lawsuit. He probably wanted nothing to do with John at that point. "I don't think that's such a great idea, kiddo. What do you want to go see the little Strider for?"

Jake smirked, his green eyes lighting up. "For a jolly good Strife, of course! The opponents at my school are rather weak. They hardly pose a challenge at all. They are not like the students of my last school."

John looked at him confused. "You were on a nearly deserted island until a few months ago, though..."

"Yes. The tigers put up a much better show! But if you do not want to take me, I suppose that is fine. Some other day, then," he muttered, resting his forehead against the window. It seemed to John that even though Jake and his family seemed to be adjusting to life in the city, the young boy was still split between the island where he grew up and the city he now found himself in. From what Casey had told him, Jake was still living out of his suitcase, as if they were only in the city for a visit.

The look on Jake's face made John feel a swell of disappointment in himself. Nowadays, Jake's face only lit up around Dirk. The younger Strider was every bit the 'cool kid' as his older brother, Dave, though he was a bit more polite and tactful. He had private tutors, not going to a normal school for safety reasons, so Jake only got to see Dirk after school.

After their little playdates, Jake would always come home looking like he had gotten into a fight with an angry bear, but he would always be grinning from ear to ear, declaring that he would 'best that rapscallion tomorrow'.

John made up his mind. He would not let his guilt ruin the only bit of happiness his young grandson had. Sometimes, being an adult meant doing things you didn't want to for the sake of those you cared about.

"On second though, Jake, I suppose it wouldn't be such a bad thing to go over to the Striders today. I have some things to discuss with Dave. I'm sure Dirk misses you, anyway."

Jake nodded his head knowingly. "He always misses me when I am not there."

TBC