|Tears of Blood
Author: KBerry PM
It's recently after Sam died, and Darren is slipping into a state of depression, with nightmares contaminating his sleep and a demanding life of a vampire's assistant in his waking hours.Will he ever find a way to forgive himself for drinking Sam's blood?Rated: Fiction T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Darren Shan & Mr. Crepsley - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,443 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 04-30-12 - Published: 02-21-12 - id: 7858576
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Thanks to everyone who reviewed so far! I really appreciate it!
Now, Darren's dream in this chapter is quite horrible. Not that that will stop you, you've the saga, after all, but just a heads up.
When Darren finally entered their tent, Evra was already in his hammock, but not asleep. He heard Darren's quiet footsteps as he tried to enter without waking him, and heard him shift about of the hammock. Evra kept still and opened his eyes.
Darren was lying on his front, facing his pillow, looking at something that Evra couldn't see. He stayed like that for a long time before he eventually sighed and put the object down onto the ground beside his hammock.
Evra waited until he was sure that Darren was asleep, then got up quietly and padded over to where Darren had put down what he was looking at. He glanced at Darren-he was asleep, yes, but not peacefully. His eyebrows were knitted together in a frown, and he looked tense even as he slept. Evra felt a pang of sympathy, then bent down to examine the object. When he saw what it was, he picked it up, feeling sad but curious. It was a plain picture frame, with a photo of a family inside, standing outside the Eiffel Tower.
Evra studied the photo, and smiled. Darren's mother had Darren's eyes, and they even had the same slightly mischievous glint. Darren's Dad was just at the edge of the photo, poised in a running position, having obviously just dashed back from setting the camera's timer and not quite making it in time. Next to Darren there was a grinning little girl in a pink headband that must have been Darren's little sister, and Evra couldn't help but laugh to see that she was standing on her tiptoes, desperately trying to look taller beside her brother. But the person that Evra lingered on the longest was Darren. He saw him every day, but Evra felt like he had never seen the boy in the photograph before. He looked so…content? Evra wasn't sure that that was the right word, but he definitely looked different. An ordinary human boy on holiday with his family, with no vampire blood, none of the sadness that Evra often saw in Darren now.
Evra heard Darren shift above him and froze, not knowing whether or not Darren would be OK with him looking at his things. But Darren didn't wake up, and simply rolled over. Breathing a sigh of relief, Evra put the photo back down and went back to his hammock. As he lay there, he wondered about his own family, what they had looked like. Perhaps he had a brother or a sister. Maybe his Dad was tall. But Evra would never know, and he decided that he didn't care. If they didn't want him, they didn't deserve to be thought of. Evra couldn't really long for them because he had never known them or any family. In a way it worse for Darren, because he knew exactly what he was missing.
On that sad thought, Evra began to feel himself drift off to sleep, grateful for the lack of Darren's screaming keeping him awake that night. He wanted to day to be over.
The nightmare was worse that night.
But this time, I knew I was dreaming. That should have made it easier. But somehow, it didn't. Have you ever had a dream when you KNOW that you're dreaming, but no matter how hard you try, you can't wake up? You can't open your eyes, can't drag yourself out of the nightmare. All I could do was try not to say a word so that this time I wouldn't wake the whole of the Cirque with my screaming.
I was buried alive. When the dream started, I was already underground. It was dark and silent in the coffin. At first, it was peaceful.
Then a chill went down my back. I wasn't alone. I turned my head slowly, and came face to face with something that made me want to throw up.
I was sharing my coffin with another body. The body of Sam Grest. His face was rotting, and only one eyeball remained in his face, staring at me. All of a sudden I could smell the death on him, the rotting flesh and blood, and I desperately tried to move away, but there was no room. I pressed against the coffin's sides, trying to force my way out, but it was no good. I brushed the body and I nearly screamed, but stopped myself. After I realised that I couldn't escape, I got as far away from Sam as I could and squeezed my eyes shut, willing myself to wake up.
It's just a dream. It's just a dream, wake up, I thought firmly. Open your eyes, and wake up!
Ever so slowly, I opened my eyes. I nearly jumped out of my skin-Sam's body had moved. His face was right next to mine, staring at me with its single, bloody eye. I was frozen, terrified, as it blinked slowly, then the bone jaw with patches of flesh began to move.
"Help me," Sam said in a raspy voice. I opened my mouth but couldn't reply, and tears slipped down my cheeks. Nightmare or not, it was the most horrible sight I'd ever seen. "Help me," he repeated, and although he spoke and his mouth moved, his dead face never changed expression.
"I can't," I whispered, agonised. "I don't know how…"
"It should…have been you," he said, and my insides went cold.
"I know," I said, more tears coming. "I know, and I'm sorry, Sam, I'm so sorry."
"I am dead," he said. "My family are…heartbroken. I have no grave, yet you have one that…is empty. You who were already lost live…off my blood." I didn't reply, horror struck. "I wish I had never met you."
"I told you to go," I croaked. "I tried, I really tried."
"Why didn't you save me?" he asked sadly. "I saved you…why didn't you help me?"
"I couldn't!" I cried.
"I didn't want to die," Sam wailed, and a single, tear-like drop of blood slipped from his eye and ran down his cheek…
I sat up so fast that my head spun, my shirt plastered to my back, tears still wet on my face. I was shaking again, and my heart was pounding. I tried to take deep breaths to calm down, and I looked over at Evra as I did so. He was still fast asleep-I couldn't have made much noise, then. I didn't want to go back to sleep, so I got up, still shaking, and went outside. It was still night, although the sky was a little lighter. It would be sunrise soon.
I walked through the quite campsite, hearing the occasional snore from people in their tents or trailers. I wasn't sure where I was going. I was just walking aimlessly.
I walked past the Wolfman, who was sleeping with his head between his hairy hands. Bright red blood coated his snout from his last meal, and he snarled in his sleep as I walked by. Probably dreaming of killing.
When I reached the edge of the campsite, I stopped and sat on the grass, looking out at the wide open fields. I could leave. If I really wanted to, I could just go. Make a life for myself. I would be alone, and it would get lonely, but at least I wouldn't be able to hurt anyone.
The sun was just rising when I heard footsteps behind me. I didn't bother turning around.
"I do not like the sunrise," Mr Crepsley commented in his usual gloomy way, sitting down beside me. "I do not like the way that it forces me back into the shadows."
"I didn't think vampires liked the sun anyway," I said. He smiled.
"We do not-but only because it causes us pain. When I was human I enjoyed the light as much as the next person." I nodded. It was weird to think of Mr Crepsley as a human, just as it is to think of an adult as a child. You just couldn't imagine them that way.
"What was your life like?" I asked curiously. "When you were human?" He took a while before answering.
"To be quiet honest, rather dismal," he replied. "I did not have it as easy as you when I was a child. My family was large and I had to work to make a living."
"Oh," I said, pausing. "Sorry."
"Do not be. It was a very long time ago," he sighed, and despite his younger appearance, his years were suddenly visible on his face.
"Did you miss it?" I asked quietly. He looked at me, frowning. "When you became a vampire. Did you miss your family?"
"Not particularly," he said. "We were not extremely close. I did feel sad, but I got over it."
"What about your friends?" I asked. "Or girlfriends?"
"I did not have time for friends, and I had no girlfriend or partner. I left home when I was quite young." I frowned.
"But you said you were an adult when you were blooded."
"I was," he confirmed. "But I left home long before then. And it is not something I wish to discuss," he added sharply as I opened my mouth. "I want to look to the future, not mope about the past."
"Right. And I'm guessing that I should too, right?"
"Yes," he replied, getting to his feet. "And that is why tonight we shall feed."
"What?" I asked in panic, and he raised his eyebrows at my expression. "Why? I don't need more blood yet!"
"Exactly. If I see your reactions to drinking blood now, then we can work out a way to solve any problems before you are on the brink of death again," he explained.
"We are going tonight, no matter how much you whine about it," he said firmly, and I scowled. "I am going to my tent now before the sudden has risen in its entirety. I will summon you later." I grumbled as he walked away, and stood myself.
" 'Summon me'," I muttered angrily. "Like a servant or a dog or something…"