|The Chicken Breast is for the Guest
Author: Fairady PM
The more things change the more they stay the same, or something deep like that.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Deadpool/Weapon XI & Rogue - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,685 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 02-27-12 - Published: 02-23-12 - id: 7864955
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I own not and make no money off of this.
Notes: A plot comes along slowly, have a taste of what's to come.
The Chicken Breast is for the Guest
Rogue knows something's changed irrevocably in her when the only tears produced from watching the Titanic are tears of boredom.
When her —his, her, their— her thoughts become too painful she takes a walk and people quickly learn to avoid her.
Wade wakes up singing a week later, and Rogue wastes no time getting them both the hell out of the school despite everyone's protests.
She balks at the first shower, knowing now that she isn't alone, but gets over it with the knowledge that the ratings aren't high enough.
Nothing and everything changed and Rogue finds it almost scarily easy to follow Wade's jumpy thought procession now.
She doesn't have that third sense that lets her know what is going on beyond the wall anymore, but just the memory of it is enough.
She no longer thinks he's talking to her when she hears him talking in another part of the house.
She doesn't keep much from Wade when he fades away —not even his memories but that's for her own sanity— and the quiet is hard to take at first.
She doesn't know why Wade knows how to waltz but the steps stick around and are augmented by Erik's memories.
Erik —yes, she got to be that familiar, after all he forced his memories on her— was the biggest dumbass on the planet.
It takes three months of shared missions before Rogue finally gets to go one truly alone.
How that mission ends up with her on a horse is something she'll never tell even though she keeps the bloodstained lance.
The Bard was young and almost had an original gimmick for a mercenary, too bad he chose to sing about Rogue's bountiful virtue.
"Nrgh," Rogue throws the remote across the room and curses Wade's stupid parental controls along with Weasel's suspicious radio silence.
Wade hadn't wanted her to go after the rest of the Brotherhood, but Rogue had an entire lifetime of blackmail material to convince him otherwise.
Hunting down Erik's people was 80% doing the right thing, 15% percent greed (hey, some of them had good bounties), and 100% petty revenge.
Whiskey and Rum
Rogue now likes the taste of both expensive whiskey and the cheapest rum that can be found on skid row.
She got into the habit of narrating he life —out loud and in her head— and never quite stopped.
"I heard once that people used to think drilling holes in their heads would keep them from being possessed," Rogue said as she carefully wrapped cellophane around the specially ordered skullpot, "wonder if that makes my pots lucky or something."
It takes three near deaths, a handful of maimings, and countless beatings before the guys at Hell House stop thinking of Rogue as anything other than a mercenary.
There's something pleasantly wrong in the utter delight she feels as she "accidentally" tramples the ten-tiered cake.
"Jonah, Alice, Gertie, Bill," Rogue murmured affectionately as she carefully put each of her guns away for the night.
It's not until she sees the baffled faces of the men she's beating that Rogue realizes she's been mouthing off the whole time.
The first time Wade calls her skunk she throws the skull pot she'd been working on at his head, hard.
The only time Rogue goes wild over diamonds is when they're on a tool she needs to use.
"Nope, sarcasm's free," Rogue said to the slimy looking client who hadn't stopped licking his lips since meeting her, "stating the blindingly obvious is extra, and not maiming you for staring at my boobs is gonna be double!"
Rogue wakes up one morning to find herself buried in balloons and has to literally dig herself out.
Smoke greets her as the last balloon dies on her knife and Rogue runs to the kitchen.
"Yes, the thought was good," Rogue eyes the charred thing with icing that might have been a birthday cake in a past life, "but I'm still not eating it."
"But why can't we watch more gay porn?"
Rogue screams are cut short in a violent explosion of pain that ends mercifully quick as she looses consciousness.
Rogue's surprised to wake up alive —she distinctly remembers hearing her throat crunching sickeningly— but ceases to be when she sees Wade's comatose butt next to her.
It still hurts like a bitch, and Wade's psychosis running through her mind doesn't help, but she gets up anyway to find the bastard who KO'd her.
She cackles at the guy's face as the wound heals and easily spits him on Wade's swords.
New guys are fun because they have expectations of the Hell House and it's always amusing to beat it out of them.
Rogue is always herself, it's just that "herself" now includes several other people.
Hanging on by her fingertips, Rogue can only think about how nice it would have been to be born with the power to fly.
"I'm neutral," Rogue declares as she points a gun at both of the competing mercenaries, "violently neutral."
Eventually the Brotherhood catches onto why they're getting wiped out and Rogue can't find any trace of them.
Jubilee calls one day and gossips for an hour straight before Rogue can break in to demand how she got her phone number.
Jubilee, as it turns out, is very good at finding out all sorts of things she shouldn't know.
Rogue puts her on speed dial and starts to tell the other girl about her problem finding Brotherhood members.
Within a week Rogue's beating Brotherhood butt again and has her first ever snitch.
A shiver runs up her spine when rumors start surfacing in the Hell House about a man named Stryker.
Wade leaves more often and is gone for longer periods of time, Rogue can't help but worry about that.
It's only by chance that Patch lets slip the fact that Wade's been taking fewer mission that she starts to grow suspicious.
She was Wade for a terrifyingly brief moment in her life, the details of his insanity are lost on her but she remembers enough to know something is very wrong with him.
"Gee willikers, Mr. Deadpool," Rogue snapped as she tightened the tourniquet, "and here I thought it alwaystook you an hour to regenerate from minor dismemberment!"
It's become apparent to her that Wade isn't going to get better on his own, and that if she wants to keep her partner she's going to have to do some digging on her own.