One: Monster

Summary: Songfic. Dinobot's thoughts leading up to Code of Hero.

A/N: I've had a couple of songfics stuck in my head and decided to start writing oneshots, which will all be put into this story. As of right now, none of them go together. If any do, I'll let you know. Sorry if the lyrics are wrong. I got them off of a website.

Italics = song lyrics

Normal = narrative

Disclaimer: I don't own Beast Wars or the song 'Monster' by Skillet.

The secret side of me, I never let you see

I keep it caged, but I can't control it

So stay away from me, the beast is ugly

I feel the rage and I can't control it

"– and so den da guy says –"

Dinobot resisted the urge to bite off the rat's head. As of late, Optimus had kept the velociraptor from going out on missions, leaving him to suffer monitor duty with his least favorite Maximal. What had he done to deserve this? Perhaps he should have remained a Predacon. At least then he'd always be out fighting, instead of waiting around and doing useless things, such as listening to this infuriating rat!

"Yo, Chopperface, ya listening ta me?"

Dinobot's lip curled in disgust. Why couldn't that – that rodent stop talking and leave him alone. It was always something with Rattrap, whether it be remembering Cybertron, complaining, or – the most common – coming up with insults at the worst of times.

Why did he continue to argue with Rattrap? The arguments were pointless and a waste of time. Instead of throwing names back and forth, why couldn't they focus on something that was more important? The Predacons needed to be taken down, and instead, the Maximals always wasted their time, himself and Rattrap possibly the most of all. Their physical fights usually did more harm than good, as well – but it was always the vermin's fault.

"What's da matter, Lizard Lips? Cat got your tongue?"

All at once, any resistance Dinobot had fell apart. The rage consumed him – for what reason, he wasn't even sure of – and he leapt at the rat. Said robot squeaked in surprise and tried to get out of the way – a little too late. Dinobot held his opponent under his body, teeth bared and eyes narrowed.

"Get offa me, Dinobutt!" Rattrap attempted to get free, only managing to anger the velociraptor further.

"Why do you insist that I listen to your pointless stories?" Dinobot snorted. "You and the other Maximals wait around when we should be attacking Megatron!" Rattrap rolled his optics.

"Yer forgettin' dat yer here wit' us, too, ya know."

Dinobot huffed. "This is war vermin! What does it matter if I call myself Maximal or Predacon – what matters is that Megatron needs to be offlined … permanently!"

It's scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls

It comes awake and I can't control it

Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head

Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?

"Hey, in case ya hadn't noticed, Dinoboob, dat ain't my call ta make!" Rattrap struggled against Dinobot, who finally stood up. Rattrap followed, placed his servos on his hips. "Optimus knows what he's doin'."

Dinobot clenched his servos. "It seems as if he is afraid to make the … necessary call."

"Ya know what, Chopperface? Ya need ta –" Before he could finish, Dinobot grabbed the rat by his scrawny neck, lifting him up into the air. Rattrap narrowed his optics and crossed his arms over his chestplates.

"Optimus is afraid. You ALL are afraid. If you will not do what needs to be done, then I will do it myself!"

"Yeah? And what happens when we have ta go an' pick up yer pieces from the Preds' layer, huh? You ain't gonna be so tough den, are ya?" Rattrap taunted. Dinobot snarled, and held the smaller being closer to his head.

"I will not fail, rodent. I do not care for, nor will I ever want, you and the other Maximals to … 'pick up my pieces'." He threw Rattrap onto the ground before turning to leave. "I have better things to do than wait around for something to happen."

"Eh, see if I care," Rattrap said. "It's like I always say: Once a Pred, always a Pred."

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin

I must confess that I feel like a monster

I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun

I must confess that I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster

For once, Dinobot didn't take the bait. He continued towards his room, shouldering past a confused Cheetor. Why did he give in to his rage … again? Why doesn't he have better control? He is a warrior. A true warrior can keep control of his emotions. What he did, surprising Rattrap and then disrespecting his leader – however bad a leader he may be – was … dishonorable. He should have been the bigger bot and left it alone. But for what? Endless taunts and name-calling? Sitting back and allowing everyone else to believe that he agreed with Primal's so-called plans?

The moment he entered his room, Dinobot shut the door. He stared at the wall, fists clenched. It would only be a matter of time before …

My secret side I keep hid under lock and key

I keep it caged but I can't control it

'Cause if I let him out, he'll tear me up, break me down

Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?

What had he done? He'd let his inner animal take control again. He'd nearly killed Rattrap. And, although he probably would have enjoyed doing so at one point, he had – somehow, someway – come to think of the vermin as a comrade. The rat was the only one who stood up to him, the only one who challenged him. Perhaps the only one who kept him from returning to the Predacons for good.

Why had he told Megatron he wanted to become one of them again? Was it self defense? Was he saving his own skin? Did he subconsciously have a plan, despite the fact that he could have easily offlined Rattrap in a single move? Nothing made sense anymore.

Dinobot shut his optics, turning his head to the ground, shamefaced. He knew what he had to do – it was written. It was his destiny. It would defend his honor. But temporarily joining the Predacons – why? Was it a sick desire he had that he wasn't aware of? It was in his best interest, but it was dishonorable to switch sides simply to live. But wasn't that what he had done in the first place? He'd become a Maximal because he wanted to be on the winning side. He wanted – at first, and still did – to lead. But now that there was no clear winner of the Beast Wars, and he was no leader, why did he stay a Maximal? Why?

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin

I must confess that I feel like a monster

I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun

I must confess that I feel like a monster

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin

I must confess that I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster

Dinobot snarled and punched the wall. Why did it matter whose side he was on? Why did he care? It wouldn't matter for him. He already knew how it played out – what he was going to do.

Was it dishonorable of him to not tell anybody? Was it honorable if he knew ahead of time? He had time to prepare, to avoid it, even, and yet he didn't. But none of the Maximals would see it that way, he knew. They had a different agenda. In their minds, Cybertron would help them. But Cybertron would be his downfall. And this was war. He had bigger plans in mind than going "home".

Dinobot looked at his servos suddenly. He was dishonored. He recalled the look in Rattrap's optics – hatred in front, but fear was the most prominent emotion. And he, Dinobot, had nearly offlined him. For what purpose? He was dishonored because of this, and because he did not know to which side he should belong. He did not know what should be done about his destiny – was keeping it a secret dishonorable, or was it honorable in the way that he would definitely see it through?

Secrets. He had too many secrets. And questions. Oh so many questions. He snorted. He did not know why he cared. It was war, as he continued to remind the other Maximals. He did not have to think. Only fight.

It's hiding in the dark, its teeth are razor sharp

There's no escape for me, it wants my soul, it wants my heart

No one can hear me scream, maybe it's just a dream

Maybe it's inside of me, stop this monster

He knelt on the floor in his room, his sword in front of him. He could end it right then, right there. There was a choice, but which one was the right one? Either way, he would not be making it out alive. Could he go through with this, or would he wait for the Predacons to take him down?

He was desperate for this to be over with – the suspense had been building up in his body for weeks. Now that it was time, could he do it? He wanted to tell someone, but at the same time, he didn't. They would stop him, no matter which way he went, no matter which path he chose. He wanted to scream – but screaming could wait.

He turned the sword over in his claws. He could make it quick, quicker than the Predacons could ever make it. But it would be dishonorable and cowardly to take this way out. He narrowed his optics and snarled at the sword, tossing it away harshly. He'd known this was coming. He'd take the honorable path.

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin

I must confess that I feel like a monster

I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun

I must confess that I feel like a monster

He ignored Rattrap's taunts and jibes as he passed him in the hall. He was so far away, yet so close. He felt numb, almost. He knew it was coming. He knew … He knew …

All that time wasted. Instead of helping his comrades, he'd let rage consume him. He'd gone out on his own, he'd disobeyed orders. He'd done so many things, but none compared to what he had to do. It was his destiny. And just that one word – destiny – made his blood boil. Because he no longer had a choice. And his honor – another word he both loved and hated – had to be defended. His comrades' honor, as well.

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin

I must confess that I feel like a monster

I've gotta lose control, be something radical

I must confess that I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster

This was it, he realized. It was him against the Predacons. Alone. Defending the early humans. Dinobot allowed his anger, his inner velociraptor, to push him forwards, to continue fighting until he'd won. He wouldn't let Megatron get away this time.

He fought. And fought. And fought. He would not back down. It was his destiny. His honor.

Energon … so much energon. When had he fallen? When had the Maximals arrived? It no longer mattered. He could feel himself fading. He could feel his spark trying to keep his body alive. He could feel his spark failing to do so.

I, I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster

Even through all the time wasted, all the pointless arguments, his own stupidity – he had come through in the end. He was still a monster, but not such a bad one anymore. But he had to finish what he'd meant to do –

"…and the rest … is silence …"

A/N: So, how'd I do? The moment I heard this song, I thought 'Dinobot!' Don't ask why. I just did.

And just so you get a sort-a timeline, the first two verses and chorus are set before 'Maximal No More', the next verse and chorus are set after 'Maximal No More', and the rest is during 'Code of Hero'.

By the way, this started out as a lot of Dinobot moping or yelling at Rattrap, and somehow Rattrap became involved more in Dinobot's thoughts, and it became a friendship-ish fic. If you want to make it out as slash, be my guest – it just wasn't my intention. I support DinoTrap – I'm obsessed with it, even – it just wasn't purposely a part of this fic.

Let me know what you think! (and, yes, I realize the ending is short and cliché)