|This Is Legaia!
Author: UyoniRaze X PM
With some out-of-context. Vahn is a mute do to brain damage, Noa is a hyper girl raised by a wolf, Gala has strong feelings about Songi -loves to hate-. There's Seru, Mist, and tree revival! Though the words of UyoniRaze, this is the Legend of Legaia.Rated: Fiction T - English - Parody/Humor - Words: 643 - Published: 02-29-12 - id: 7882525
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
In the beginning God created the heavens, the earth, and the sea. After creating the whole freakin universe, God became bored and created humans to rule over the world. Hell, even God needs entertainment.
And did they mess that up! They had wisdom, but they were weak and complete assholes. They had such the common sense of a goldfish that many times almost killed themselves off. After the event of a group of human discovering fire and engulfing each other in flame for fun, God became concerned about the humans' future. So, after a brainstorm, and several Redbulls later, God gave them a mighty force with which to aid them.
It was POKEMONS!
Erh,... the Seru.
So, eventually, according to human memory, or HISTORY, humans lived together with creatures known as Seru. The Seru lived together with the humans, always obeying them, (Dumb asses) and making the humans many times stronger than before. But the humans were still stupid.
Seru looked like a stone figure, but upon touching a human, a Seru would change form and give the human secret abilities.
Seru POWERS HO!
With a Seru, a human could lift objects heavier than itself and even fly in the air at will.
And then Humans went and messed up that up too.
According to 'human memory known as HISTORY' the 'Mist' appeared from out of nowhere, covering the land, bringing to an end prosperous symbiosis between humans and Seru. Meaning the Seru became seriously PISSED. Years of exploitation and slavery was brought forth to their attention and they rebelled, attacking humans at will.
"WHO'S THE BOSSES NOW, BITCHES!"
The roles reversed, and the Seru attached themselves to the humans and enslaved their minds, turning them into SERU CONTROLLED ZOMBIES.
As if forsaken by God, human civilization collapsed. It was the twilight of humanity.
(AS IF? Nah! God was just enjoying the show. Like watching Dukes of Hazzard, how was them Humans gonna get themselves outta this one?)
Well a few escaped the Mist and somehow survived, and colonized within walled villages. Huddled together, waiting for salvation. Or a Hero. Or a frickin' ham sandwich even.
Blue-Haired Boy Of Rim Elm, VAHN and Other Introductions.
Exits blue-haired youth from his home.
The blue haired youth rubs back of his head.
'Damn, Dad hit me so hard, I've forgot my name. And apparently my ability to talk.'
A magical void of blackness appeares, and the youth is whisked before a blue wall with letters, symbols, and a magical hand with a pointing finger.
Random Mystic Voice: "Select Your Name."
He selects his name.
Vahn does an awesome fighting pose, because he is an awesome warrior like that-
'If you've got an ass, I'll kick it!'
-and is whisked back into his village. He walks to a gigantic barren broccoli stalk and closes his eyes.
'If I only had some ranch dressing.'
Suddenly a small girl and old man enter the grotto.
Village Elder: "VAHN! I knew you'd be here. You're always trying to eat this tree! Tomorrow I'm sending you to hunt with the men, maybe you'll kill a caribou or something to sate your weird obsession with this tree."
'Or maybe I could just eat you and this little girl.'
However, due to his brain injury, he only nods in agreement.
Village Elder: "Good, then I will pray for a good hunt. Geez, you're such a sick little bastard."
Village Elder exits, and Vahn is left with the little girl and a little boy.
The children gawk at him with terror in their eyes.
'Hell, I'm bored now. Time to see what havoc I can cause elsewhere."
He exits the area as well.
Little girl: "I thought we were gonna die!"
Little boy: " I peed a little!"