|Squall The Chocobo Chick!
Author: Idle Spell Singer PM
"Hey, Squall Leonhart." Aerius called out. "Call me Squall." "Fine. Do...you realize how wrong that position is? A certain someone I know is probably dying right now because her wildest dreams are coming true."Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,383 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Updated: 05-25-12 - Published: 03-01-12 - Status: Complete - id: 7886641
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
I've decided to finish this fanfic with 4 chappies!
Unless somebody wants a sequel. A sequel that happens during the 13th cycle? :D
Disclaimers: Don't own. So don't even sue T-T And tell me what you think.
Twelfth Cycle 04 - There's only one solution for that :3
Twelfth Cycle - The Rift - Normal POV
Everyone just stared at the girl.
A huge sigh. "I said I'll help you get Leonhart back to normal."
"Who are you?"
"Aerius. Aerius Querelle." The girl introduced herself. The girl had scarlet hair, that was styled with spiky bangs and curly pigtails that reached her chest and cheerful turquoise eyes. She was wearing a purple short-sleeved hoodie, a grey mid-thigh skirt with black biker shorts underneath, and white gladiator sandals. She was also wearing white wing-adorned headphones around her neck. "If you must know, I'm Lightning's younger cousin~ And I'm here to help you as another ally~ Well. Not now, of course~"
"WHAT?" Surprised sounds were heard from everyone. Maybe except for Kain, WoL (I'm too lazy to type his whole title XD), and Light.
"You must be the new champion that Lady Cosmos will summon for the next cycle!" Prishe explained.
"Right-o! But, first things first. I'll help you with your dilemma. After all, it's Spell-san's fault." Aerius said.
"Spell-san?" Everyone questioned, tilting their heads to the side.
"Oops...I shouldn't have...Oh well. Spell-san was the one who started this 'dilemma'. After all, she's bitchy about FFXIII..."
"She's still not done with XIII?" Lightning asked. Of course she knows what's happening! It's her game ya know?
"No. And only because she gave up on Orphan's Cradle. She broke her promise to herself of finishing the game. Because she's currently playing XIII-2 and already on the final boss. She stopped again because, 'Caius is an ass and won't die like he's supposed to.' Exact words."
Lightning just hummed in agreement.
"So! How are you gonna help us?" Bartz asked, shaking Aerius.
"Calm down Bartz. She won't be able to explain if you make her dizzy!" Tifa stopped Bartz. True enough, Aerius could see double.
"Why do I see two Klausers? And why are there two Claires? That's just scary! Maybe the goddess is trying to kill me? Or maybe I'm already dead? That must be it. But..." Aerius babbled continuously as she looked around.
"So how are you gonna help us?" Yuna asked her.
"Wait...I hear Yuna's voice. It means I'm not dead! Good...To answer your question, I could help you because I have the bottle where instructions on how to reverse the chocobo transformation effects is printed."
"Really?" Zidane exclaimed.
"Yes." Aerius said calmly as the dizziness stopped.
"We're not gonna die yet! And we get to see the horse!" Zidane and Bartz hugged each other.
"Horse?" Everyone else questioned. "Actually...we don't wanna know..."
"Yes. Yes. And I'll read the second antidote...And you must be talking about Lightning's Odin. So...just stick to the sheep around." Then, she took out the bottle and read the fine print on the side...
...This must mean you got tricked by my awesome/lame trick, yes? Okay! But you are currently reading the back-up plan on how to turn back your emo friend back to a human! Don't worry! This time it's real! So...whoever received the first antidote must give the victim a peck on the beak! And it won't work if you don't follow. The reason? If you took the antidote, it means you sacrificed some time to go back to the moogle to get the antidote. So... you must do it! Ushishishi~
"Did you have to do the laugh too?" Everyone wondered, as they found the laugh...creepy.
"Nah. I just wanted to!"
"So...between you two, who took the antidote?" Firion confronted the two.
"I did..." Bartz muttered, then mentally added. 'Whoever planned this must be laughing in evil glee...or having a fangirl moment...'
Do it! Do it! Do it!" Aerius chanted. Soon, everyone joined the chanting. "Do it! Do it! Do it! D-"
"Okay! I'll do it! Sheesh...people these days..." Bartz approached ChocoSquall, who was on the ground, glaring...at the wall. (He's probably thinking that the wall is either Bartz or Zidane :D) Bartz crouched down. He stared at ChocoSquall.
Bartz stared at him.
Cue death glare.
Bartz flinched back.
"Hurry up! Or I'm gonna hit you with this!" Aerius threatened, bringing up...Hope's boomerang?
"Aerius. Did you steal Hope's boomerang? Again." Lightning glared at her.
"I bought it!"
"...There are no more save stations around Cocoon. Or Gran Pulse."
"Just do it already!" Luneth encouraged him. "Or we're gonna start chanting again!"
"Just not the chanting!" Bartz gently picked up ChocoSquall.
Aerius fished out a camera out of nowhere.
Bartz was now holding ChocoSquall.
Bartz looked at ChocoSquall.
He lifted his hand up. ChocoSquall was 5cm away from his lips.
A peck on the beak. Camera flash. ARGH! A blinding light!
Then it was gone.
Now, a normal Squall was standing in front of Bartz. And now, instead of lips to beak...lips to lips~ (YES! 5/8! OTP!)
"Score! And I never knew Klauser was taller than Leonhart! Even by a tiiiny bit!" Another camera flash. That snapped them out of their position. (Awww~)
The two looked at each other.
Squall glared at him.
Bartz gave a goofy grin.
Then, Bartz ran away. Like the wind. No pun intended.
"No pun executed!" Aerius shouted. Everybody looked at her.
Stop reading these! And don't break the fourth wall! I'm warning you. Repairing the fourth wall causes more money than repairing a normal wall. And causes brain damage to the fictional characters. Oh...and that line was pretty funny! Had me laughing.
"So? This is a fanfic! We could dismiss this as a wacky dream caused by eating a weird mushroom or one of England's strayed scones!"
...I was gonna do that. Probably. And I was thinking along the lines of tripping over flat surfaces...but that works!
"Um...Aerius? You okay?" Firion asked.
"Yes! After all...I'm just talking on the communicator with a 'friend'." Aerius pointed to the communicator devic- Where did you even get that?
"In my pocket."
"Well. Now that Squally's back to normal...We're safe!" Zidane said as he started to make a run for it, but Light grabbed him by the hair.
"Oh no you don't." Lightning said threateningly. The death glare did NOT help!
"Aww~ You should've pulled him by the tail! I wanna see if the tail is similar to something I know!" Aerius pouted.
Don't even spread my Hetalia Obsession disease out there! I already had a hard time resisting it the last time!
'You dumbass. This is your story. You're the one who controls what's happening. So, don't go blaming this on your OC. And...you've always wanted to know if Zidane's tail was similar to Italy and Romano's curly hair. Don't deny it.'
...Touche. Yes, I know that this is my story and you're my OC. No need to remind me! And browsing around deviantArt for 589 photos and discovering funny Zidane moments blushing and twitching made me wonder. It's probably the same~ Now, go back to the story. And stop breaking the fourth wall!
"Yes ma'am." Aerius mocked loudly.
Everyone stared at her, wondering who was she referring to. Then, they just looked back at the current situation. They didn't want to know. Everyone is weird in their own ways. So...yeah.
"So. Where did you two get that stupid potion?" Lightning asked once more. She really loves making people scared shitless with her glare. Like what's happening right now.
"SOMEBODY HELP ME!" Bartz cried out, snapping everyone's attention to him. As of now, he is still being chased down by Squall. And now. He got tackled to the ground, Squall on top.
"Hey, Squall Leonhart." Aerius called out.
"Call me Squall."
"Fine. Do...you realize how wrong that position is? A certain someone I know is probably dying right now because her wildest dreams are coming true." H-hey! AM NOT! I'm still occupied by that stupid mothereffing Serendipity Slot Machine! Damn fragment! Just get the hell out off the machine already!
"Don't care. I still need to kill this idiot right here." Squall said, pointing at Bartz. Then, he pointed at Zidane. "Then, I still have to kill that idiot right there."
"Aww~ You love them THAT much?" Aerius teased.
"Oh man! I wish this was like Angel Beats! If that was the case, you could kill them a hundred times since they'll be alive again half an hour later! Buuut. We have to stick with Arise and Phoenix Downs." Aerius. STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL!
"Don't care~" Then, all of a sudden, a bottle fell towards Aerius. It hit. Then bounced off. "Oww~ That hurts!"
"Good thing the bottle didn't break." Everyone said.
"True. Hey look. There's paper inside. Must be a message." Aerius opened the bottle.
Nuahahaha~ Forgot to mention that the effects of the potion wear off five seconds after you kissed your emo comrade~ Oh well! At least I got good blackmail material~ Bye bi~
Oh. And by the way...this is all a dream~~~
"Oh, that's my cue! See ya later~" Aerius sing-sang as she brought out the boomerang she stole and threw it. It hit everyone's heads, leading them to unconsciousness. Except for Lightning.
"Help me out?"
"Meanie. Then let's just talk!" And that started the looong day of Aerius moving everyone's bodies to a much safer place while talking to Lightning about weird stuffs. Like...
"Hey. Do you like Noel? Or the older Hope? I'm just wondering coz both of them are adorkable. Well, at least in Spell's opinion."
"Why are you even asking me that?"
"No reason. Oh, and do you support Noel X Serah? Because, why did you make Noel bring Serah to you instead of Snow? I thought you already approved of Snow being Serah's fiancee."
"Are you trying to start a war here?"
"Nope. These questions are just what Spell is thinking right now. She just finished FFXIII-2."
This is gonna be preeetty long... -_-'
Everyone woke up, rubbing their heads.
"What a strange dream. Wait, you had the same dream too?" Everyone said at the same time. What they didn't realize is that, before they stood up, some of them were paired up to the author's liking. It's up to you if the pairing is a friendship type or a love one~
Bartz and Squall were in one place, back-to-back.
Luneth had his head on Zidane's shoulder blade as they were leaned against the wall.
Firion and The Warrior of Light were just lying down on the grass.
Cecil and Kain lying back-to-back.
Vaan and Laguna, on a dogpile.
And everyone else just randomly spread out.
Except for Lightning of course. She was awake the whole time, listening to Aerius talking about what the author is thinking about right now. And it took a while. Approximately...an hour.
At least it's safe. For now. Let's just hope that this won't happen again!
...but it's bound to happen again...
Done~ Finally~ And hope you like it! And sowwy if it is reeeally bad! I'm just lame T-T
 - I used the height info on FinalFantasyWikia. Bartz is 5'9". Squall is 5'8". So sad...
 - If. You are a fan of Ouran High School Host Club, especially the Hitachiin Twins, you should watch a cosplay skit on YouTube called 'Hitachiin Twins: Sick Day' or something along those lines. It is pretty funny and that is where I 'borrowed' this line~
 - Who hates the 'Lucky Coin Fragment' in XIII-2? -raises hand- I do! And it is being an ass D:
So~ That's it! Hope ya enjoyed reading this stupid, cracky, fail fanfic of mine Q-Q