|Chuck vs the Memories
Author: ref51907 PM
Does Sarah's memory return? What will she choose? And was the last mission really the teams last mission?Rated: Fiction T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 31,614 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 11-10-12 - Published: 03-02-12 - id: 7889453
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I do not own Chuck and there is no copyright infringement is inteded.
I would like to extend a warm thank you to Anti-Kryptonite. You have been extrememly helpful with getting my ideas onto paper.
Authors Note: The continuation of the Chuck story is something I was initially working on as a gift to my wife. We both love/d the show and were sad to see it end so I hope you all will enjoy this gift. With that being said I also want to make it clear that there will be a lot of references or "call backs" to alot of different episodes, including some that are from deleted scenes on the DVDs that I thought should have included. I will try to give you a heads up when those appear in a particular chapter.
Enough description and on to the story.
February 4, 2012
Undisclosed warehouse in Washington DC.
A tall dark-haired man stepped into the dimly lit warehouse. His mere presence was like a shadow that swallowed what little light pierced the darkness. "Why have you called me here?" His voice was as rough as his appearance.
A shorter man stood at the center of the warehouse wearing a black suit and a tie. He spoke after a moment of silence. "We have some information that you might find to our advantage."
"And what is it?" the shadow asked very matter-of-factly.
"She has been neutralized."
He thought for a moment, not taking his eyes off the shorter man. "You're sure she won't remember?"
"I am positive. Quinn made sure of it," the man in the suit replied sternly.
"You have what I requested?" came a question from the shadowy figure, a chill in his voice that sent shivers down the other man's spine.
"Um, no. I...I was not able to locate the...um...the glasses," he stuttered to get a few words out. "I believe someone took them."
"Find them, and find the person responsible!" The shadow seemed to grow as anger built inside him, swallowing up what little darkness remained.
"Of course sir. I will... I will not let you down, sir."
The Beach in Burbank
She was sitting on the beach alone, thinking about what had really happened that day two and a half weeks ago, when she was suddenly overwhelmed by emotion.
Was everything Chuck said true? Had that been their dream home? She wasn't sure. She remembered the carving of their names on the door frame and telling him that one day this house would be theirs.
She closed her eyes to help her concentrate. She wanted so desperately to get the details straight.
"He wouldn't fight back," she whispered to herself. Even when I held him at gun point, he was trying to help me. He told me that I could kill him but that he would never hurt me. She let out a sudden gasp as if she just realized the gravity of what he had done. He took a bullet for me. Her eyes welled up with tears. After everything I did to him, Chuck Bartowski, jumped in front of a bullet for me! I was using him, yet he…she paused for a few moments, unable to follow that train of thought. He loved me enough to sacrifice himself if necessary to save me? His well-being and safety wasn't as important to him as mine. What does that say about him? What does that say about me?
She put her feet up, crossed her arms in a defensive posture, and stared into the ocean, watching the waves roll up onto the sand, only to have them be swallowed up by the beach.
I know he is telling the truth. I know how much he loves me. He tells me every time he looks at me. He deserves someone better than me. I don't deserve him. I don't know who I am? I know who I want to be, but I don't know how to get there.
Two and a half weeks earlier
January 18, 2012
The Courtyard outside the Apartment
"I believe you, Chuck, but I don't feel it."
Those words hit him like a sledgehammer, taking the breath from his body. He knew those words were not spoken to inflict pain, yet hearing them stung him deeply. He also knew it took courage for her to stand in front of him and say those words. He knew the old Sarah wouldn't believe anything without proof. Her world before him was filled only with deceit, lies, and deception. She had been a spy and a damn good one. So good that Casey told him she was the best he ever worked with.
Was there something that changed her mind? Just a few hours ago, she had told him she had done her job too well. Now she was telling him she believed him. She was remembering, he thought and a warm genuine smile came upon his face for a brief moment.
"I believe you, Chuck, but I don't feel it."
Sarah spoke those words as a way to cope with the confusion. She was struggling with Chuck's words and his actions, and with the words she heard herself saying in the video log Casey gave her.
Suddenly, a voice from inside her came to her. Bury your feelings. Bury them deep. Spies do not have feelings. Feelings can get you killed. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
"Flash, Chuck!," Sarah responded in anger. "It's in the Intersect. You want to be a spy, don't you? FLASH!"
"No," Chuck spouted back in frustration.
She saw he wouldn't fight back so she pressed the attack, hoping to trigger his flash. "Why not!" she said in an angry, agitated tone.
"Because, Sarah...I don't want to hurt you." His voice softened as he let his guard down.
She sensed his pain and saw it in his eyes. But in that moment, she was hurting as much as he was. "Don't worry," came her painful reply as she went to one knee. She swept her bo across the mat, just inches from the ground, slamming it into Chuck with such fury that he fell backward hitting the mat with a loud thud.
"You can't!" She threw her bo down and stormed out of the small training room.
The memory of that fight came crashing into her already confused mind with such intensity it caused her to pause as she was turning to leave the courtyard.
She took a deep breath as she regained her composure. She could feel Chuck's eyes upon her. She felt a pull, an inner desire to step toward him, to return the warmth of his gaze. She wanted him to tell her not to go. So she held the pause, looked his direction, her eyes pleading with him. Tell me to stay.
...Nothing. Not even the slightest movement. The silence told her everything she thought she needed to hear.
The Beach in Burbank
Feb 4, 2012
When Chuck joined her on the beach, she was sitting in the same spot she had been for hours, lost in her own thoughts, trying to repair the damage Quinn caused by taking away that which was most important. He had taken the last five years from her but she was determined to get them back, though she didn't know how.
Chuck spoke, and it sounded strangely familiar to Sarah. The sound of his voice was soothing, his tone sincere, and his words genuine. Even the way he looked at her, soft and gentle. It was as if he was looking inside, to the real Sarah. Not the confused Sarah she now was. Not Sarah Walker, the super spy she thought she was, but the real Sarah.
She tried to concentrate on his words, but it was difficult.
"I don't want anything from you..."
Sarah's eyes began to dampen.
"Just know I will be here for you, always."
Tears began to well up and pool in her eyes.
"Someone you can call, whenever."
She couldn't hold back the emotions any longer.
She was fighting a losing battle with her mind so she broke her gaze as she turned her head to wipe away the tears that were rolling down her face.
How can his man do this to me? she thought, trying to compose herself. He knows what to say and how to break down the walls I have built up. He knows exactly what to say to bring my feelings to the surface. Does he know what he is doing? He has to.
"...that is what I am asking you to do now. Trust me, Sarah," he spoke tenderly, with compassion she thought she had never heard before.
She lit up like a Christmas tree as a small glimmer of hope went running through her mind. Maybe he can help me get back to my home, to where I want and need to be.
Then, in the hopeful silence, came words that made Chuck smile. "Chuck. Tell me our story," Sarah told him as she was trying to hide the giddy look on her face when she finally turned back to look at him.
His eyes danced with excitement as he began to recount their story to her.
For the next few hours they shared laughs and tears. He told her of dangerous missions and funny moments, of narrow escapes and easy missions. As he told the story, she began to remember small bits of information, but she didn't want to ruin the moment so said nothing of that.
After he finished the story, there was a pause. In typical Chuck fashion, he had to break the silence. "You know, Morgan has this idea. Crazy, really."
"What is it?" she asked curiously.
"Morgan thinks that if we kiss, you'll remember everything. Crazy, I know. He's been wat-"
"Chuck," Sarah interrupted. "Kiss me."
And so he did. Tenderly, lovingly. Sarah sensed a growing spark, and the confusion of partial memories returning, of feelings that seem familiar and yet foreign and distant.
Secret business building
"What have you learned?" asked a uniformed man.
"Step one is done. However, there is a problem," replied the shadow. "Quinn was not in possession of the package."
"Where is it?"
"I don't know yet. But I am working on that."
"Good," came the gruff response. "Make sure you retrieve the package and eliminate all threats to the package. Do I make myself clear?"
"Clear as crystal." The shadow grinned with an evil pleasure.
"And you are sure the agent knows nothing?"
The shadow nodded with that evil grin still on his face, which seemed to appease the uniformed man. "She knows nothing of the package and her relationship to it."
The Beach in Burbank
He started to pull his lips away, but that was not what she wanted. The confusion she had felt when their lips first met was quickly eroding, revealing feelings and emotions she thought she had locked away.
As their lips parted, he leaned back and straightened his posture, and an idea came to her. Without her usual hesitation, she reached for him, put her hands on his shirt, and looked him in the eyes.
Her open palms on his shirt and her eyes gazing deeply into his made his heart skip a beat. For the first time since she returned, he thought he actually saw the real Sarah. Not Sarah Walker, super spy, but Sarah Lisa Bartowski, his wife.
He had memorized that look. The smile on her face was a little different this time but the eyes…the eyes never lie. He saw love in her eyes and a slight smile on her face that he'd bet she didn't even know was on her face. Wow, she is an angel, beautiful in every way, he thought to himself. I am the luckiest man on Earth.
She leaned toward him and lowered her head into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and held her, listening to her gentle breathing and her heart beating. He closed his eyes and lived in the moment.
10 minutes later
The Beach in Burbank
She tilted her head up, trying to look upon his face. She asked in a soft voice, "What now?"
He hadn't thought about that. He had no plan. When Morgan had told him to listen to his heart to find Sarah, all he had known was that he wanted to see her again. Watching her walk away in Castle had torn him apart inside. He had to get to the other half that made him whole.
What now? He didn't know how to respond. Now that she was here, in his arms, he didn't want them to be parted from each other.
"I don..." he cleared his throat. "I don't know." He was scared to tell her he wanted her to come home, come home to him.
"What was I thinking that Morgan's idea would actually work?" He paused, hoping she would speak up and tell him she wanted to come home.
He felt the slight shift of her head and the subtle shift in her body language and instantly knew she began to feel uncomfortable. He looked down at her only to see that she was looking down toward the sand beneath them.
Should I tell him I want to come home? He is my home, isn't he? He feels so right. Why do I feel as though I know him when I can't remember much about him?
He let go of his embrace and she straightened up. "I should go. I have to re-evaluate what..." he swallowed as a sense of sadness overwhelmed him. "...what to do with Carmichael Industries." He paused, then added, "And I should let you be."
He got up and turned to go when he felt the familiar warmth of Sarah's gentle touch on his wrist. He turned and the look in her eyes gave her away.
He opened his mouth as if he was going to say something to her but something inside him stopped him.
What is she doing? Does she want to come home? Does she love me? Does she have any feelings for me? This has to be more confusing for her than it is for me. I will stand by her, honor her choice.
"I am always here for you, Sarah. Every day, always." He took a deep breath and added in a non-judgmental, loving tone, "Whatever you decide, I will be here."
Does he need me to spell it out for him? I want to come home. I thought I did enough to prove that I need him.
As he walked away, tears filled both their eyes.