|Teddy, Did You Schteal My Dempsey?
Author: Sniper Typhoon Hedgehog PM
Excited that the mystery box spawned in the starting room of Kino der Toten first, Dempsey decides to use it right when he can, but gets the ol' Teddy Bear. What will happen when he gets mad and decides to hop INSIDE the box when it disappears?Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Adventure - Tank D. & Nikolai B. - Chapters: 9 - Words: 11,044 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 10-04-12 - Published: 03-03-12 - id: 7891452
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
I'm really sorry for the freakishly long hiatus, everyone. Ughh. . .I'm really trying to get this complete.
Dempsey continued to float through the bleak subspace inside the mystery box. The same space he floated through when he first hopped inside at the beginning. Everything looked different than last time, but also like he remembered as well. Very strange. "Okay," he said out loud "now what?"
He encountered more random objects floating around in the void. Out of boredom of just being suspended in space, he decided to start surfing on a park bench that just happened to come by. "Whoo hoo. . ." It wasn't as much fun as it may sound, seeing as there was no force that kept them together, so the bench and Dempsey's body would always drift in their own directions freely. Inertia, people.
After a few minutes of floating aimlessly, Dempsey came across a very large house, almost as big as a full size mansion. It appeared to be occupied for some time. Eh, He thought, probably just more random crap. As he started drifting a little closer to it, he actually saw furniture inside. There were lights on, too. However, everything looked to be a bit shorter in height than usual. He could also make out some firearms inside the house.
It was after Dempsey was examining it for awhile that he realized he was actually being drawn toward the house. He was actually cool with it. "If this is where I'm gonna live, it might not be so bad!"
The front door of the house opened. It seemed it had heard Dempsey's comment. "Hey, in here!" The same Russian called once more.
"Whoa. . ." It wasn't like Dempsey had a choice. He was already floating over to the doorway.
When Dempsey landed inside the small foyer of the house, he noticed that everything actually was a bit shorter to the ground than usual. "Okay, this a little bit out of the ordinary." He said as he looked at the various things he could see. He saw a living room with a couch, coffee table, large television, and several game consoles. On the coffee table, he saw a deck of playing cards. There was also a staircase in front of him, but he couldn't really see what was up there. "Wonder who lives here?"
"I do." The voice answered from behind Tank.
"Well dude it's pretty swee-" Dempsey turned around to find. . .a blue-gray cartoon horse that was about half his height? ". . .Did me and Nikolai's canteens get mixed up? No wait, I saw you earlier!"
"Well you find strange things inside the mystery box dimension." The pony said as he closed the front door.
"Errm, I've noticed."
"Good. I would be surprised if you didn't up until now." The pony walked over to the living room. "Take a load off and stay for a while."
Dempsey complied and removed his combat boots. "So uh, you were the one who brought me here?"
"Yes. I suppose you want to know who I am as well?"
"That would be nice."
He stood up straight and inhaled. "My name is Vladimir Marekarov." He said proudly.
"Marekarov?" Dempsey laughed. "But you're a boy horse!"
"Well I was going to be called 'Macoltrov', but that was kind of hard to say."
"Alright, whatever you say." Tank was trying his best to not burst out in laughter, but was also dumbfounded that he as in the midst of a real My Little Pony. Indeed, the world of the mystery box is a strange place, but meeting a Russian terrorist, who was probably born pretty recently at this time, as a colorful cartoon pony in the flesh is random on a whole new level. "So, uh, why'd ya suck me in here against my will anyway?"
"Ask yourself, was it really against your will? Are you telling me you wanted to stay there with your life in danger while dealing with that awful. . .thing of a voice with no way out?" Marekarov turned away from Dempsey and walked over into his living room.
"Well, when you put it that way, I guess I should be a least bit fortunate. So, all this time you knew about me and the voice?"
"Of course I've known! How would I not have known? I know everything that goes on around in this zone, and that's not much! So I would most definitely be aware that a human has foolishly stumbled in an area he's not supposed to!"
Tank backed off a little, even though the two were already in adjacent rooms. "Sorry, just wondering."
"So to answer your question a bit better, I know the Demonic Announcer, and he knows me. I don't believe anyone deserves to be stuck with him like that, so I decided to just gently pluck you out of there."
"Oh. Well, that's err, kind of you, I guess."
"Yeah, thank you. Now come on over here! I made a neat way to play solitaire with two people!" Marekarov sat upright on his couch and picked up the deck of playing cards that were on the coffee table.
Dempsey could think of nothing else to do, so he just decided to humor the Russian pony.
"Oh wait," Marekarov stopped shuffling the deck, "This particular game involves complex data and incomprehensible sequences of off-world elements that only residents of the Box Zone can comprehend."
Dempsey had a hard time even figuring out what he had just said. "So what does that mean?"
"To put it simple, you wont be able to understand how to play."
"Oh. . .We can't be that far away from the regular world, could we?" He really had no idea what he was saying right now. He was just trying to avoid any awkward moments; not trying to get Marekarov to let him play.
The pony set the cards back down on the table like they were. "Have a seat, I'll show you something."
Tank sat right down as he suggested. The sofa was closer to the ground than what he was used to, but it was still comfortable nonetheless.
Marekarov reached down to the side of the couch, and seemed to have grabbed something. Dempsey could not see what it was. When it was brought up to eye-level, it appeared to be a very futuristic-looking laptop computer, simply put. Marekarov set the gadget on top of his belly, which somehow appeared to be much larger than usual, strange optical illusion, and started to open it. "I'll show you a map of this area."
Upon opening it, a map of earth appeared. However, it seemed to be zooming in rather quickly. Neither of them knew just what the thing was doing, but Marekarov figured it out once a voice from the computer said: "FRIENDLY PREDATOR MISSILE INBOUND!"
"Oh crap oh crap!" Marekarov freaked out. "Cancel cancel!" He started mashing a button on the device, and soon, the screen went dark and the map Marekarov was trying to show his guest appeared. "Okay. We are here" He did his best to point at a small floating house near the upper-left corner of the screen. After that, he directed his hoof down toward the bottom of the screen, onto a small distorted area. "This is where you came in the first time." There were actually several distorted areas scattered throughout the map.
"So what do the fuzzy areas mean?" Dempsey asked as he looked closely at the device.
"They are portals between this space and your world. In words you may understand better, they are mystery box spawn points, and as you can see, the portals are in the same areas of the spawn points. This whole area is kind of like an alternate universe of Kino der Toten beyond the mystery box."
"Ohh. . ." Dempsey was astonished. "Wow. . ." Words cannot describe how flabbergasted Dempsey is at, well, everything. Inside the mystery box, teleportation, disembodied voices, talking colorful pony, technology that hasn't been invented in his time yet, everything.
Marekarov looked back to his laptop. "It looks like your friends are approaching the room you were just in." He set it on the coffee table. "It's time for you to go, I'm afraid."
"What? But I just got here! I actually wouldn't mind living here forever! Even if I have to live with you."
"I'm sorry, but you can only exist here for so long."
Dempsey lowered his head. He was just getting used to a seemingly peaceful life in this alternate dimension, and now he has to go back and face that cruel world of his, and face people like Richtofen. "Okay."
Feeling sympathetic, Marekarov decided to try and cheer him up by giving him a few things that would help him in the undead battle he would soon resume. "Follow me." He led Dempsey to a remote room in his large house. The door had a large combination lock on it. Marekarov spun the dial several times, and the door opened. The room was none other than. . .
"HO. . . . . . . .LY. . . . . . . . . .SHIIIIIIIII. . . . . . . . ."
"Is this not the biggest armory you've ever seen?"
It was, indeed, the biggest armory Dempsey had ever laid eyes on. ". . . . . . . .YES!"
Marekarov chuckled. "Come with me to the 'special' section."
'Special' section? Dempsey thought. This as all special enough already!
They walked through aisles and aisles of firearms. Most of which were probably never used before. There was everything from pistols to heavy machine guns. From A-91 to Zulaica. There were even a few IFVs in the back, and a TIE Fighter attached to the ceiling. This place was at least 20x the size of the Marine Corps' largest armory, thought Dempsey.
Marekarov led his human guest to a secluded corner in the armory. Compared to the other weapons here, all these looked weird.
"Here's the 'special' section." He told him. "If these don't keep those flesh-hungry imbeciles at bay, nothing will."
"I like the sound of this!" Dempsey hopped excitedly. "What'cha got?"
Right then, Marekarov handed Dempsey a black and red ray gun.
"Porter's X2 Ray Gun! Awesome!"
"Dual wield." He gave him another.
Dempsey's eyes widened as he took the second advanced weapon in his other hand. Before he could say anything else, his horse friend continued to dish out tools of death.
"Zues Cannon. . .your favorite Cymbal Monkey bombs. . .semtex grenades. . ."
The Marine Raider was almost choking up at the beautiful sight.
"And. . .oh, drink this." He handed him a glass bottle.
"What is it?" Dempsey asked, but had already chugged it all before his friend could answer. "Beer?"
"Mule Kick. Now you can carry this." Marekarov did his best to lift up an odd-looking machine gun to him. "It's a Pack-a-Punched M60. Prototype. Never been used before, but I'll let you have that honor."
"Dempsey was flabbergasted and speechless. ". . .Ehh. . .why are you doing this?"
Marekarov sighed, then proudly looked up to his human friend. "You don't deserve to be stuck with the Demonic Announcer like that. I'm giving you the tools you need, and then some, to eliminate every last one of his rotten minions."
Tank almost shed a tear, but of course, didn't. "This is one of the best things anyone has ever done for me. . .! Oh, and by the way, technically we can't kill all the zombies. They're made to be endless."
Marekarov's face changed to a 'really, dude?'-ish expression. "Yeah, way to kill the emotional part of the story."
Dempsey laughed. "That's what I do!"
Marekarov couldn't help but give a chuckle as well. "Alright, now, you need to get back to your friends, and I need to get to a faraway land where there are other ponies like myself."
"Already? It still seems too soon!"
"Don't you wanna try out those new devices?"
"OH, YOU BET!"
"Then get out there!"
Dempsey took a deep breath. "Okay."
"Good." Marekarov started toward a small teleporter nearby. He stepped onto the platform, and activated several switches on a side panel. "One more thing."
Dempsey was just fixing to attempt to find his way out of the massive room, but stopped to hear what Marekarov had to say.
"Thanks for visiting. You're pretty cool." He started getting brighter and brighter until the horse was officially teleported away.
Tank continued to walk away. "I am, aren't I." He replied smugly.