|The Lies We Live With
Author: Breath-of-twilight PM
Placed on a pedestal too high for most, he failed her. When they rebuild their second chance, will it all be destroyed by the painful secret she keeps? Drabble. Full summary inside.Rated: Fiction M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Bella & Edward - Chapters: 157 - Words: 79,880 - Reviews: 3,587 - Favs: 266 - Follows: 372 - Updated: 01-13-13 - Published: 03-08-12 - Status: Complete - id: 7906035
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
The Lies We Live With – Future-take by Breath-of-twilight
Rated: -story was originally rated M- this piece could easily pass for T
Summary: Placed on a pedestal too high for most, he failed her. When they rebuild their second chance, will it all be destroyed by the painful secret she keeps? Future-take
Dedication: The sweet Katalina asked me to write this for her. So, here it is. Hope you enjoy it, and please know my thoughts are with you, always. xx
~Three years later~
If someone had told Bella just a few years ago that her life would be as close to perfect as possible one day, she would have laughed in their face, maybe even kicked them for giving her such false hope.
But they would have been right.
She had Edward, and even though they still fought, still disagreed at times, they always went to bed knowing they loved each other. It was a rule in their home, of sorts. Never go to bed angry. And they hadn't, not once.
They had once argued about which school Cassie should attend, and heated it was. Edward wanted her in a prestige, private school. Bella worried something like that would make her grow up feeling as if she were better than others. She wanted her to have a real childhood, to experience everything the real world had to offer, the life Esme and Carlisle would have wanted for her, too. In a haze of hurt and grievance, she lashed out at him, not understanding why he couldn't see what was truly best for Cassie.
By three am that next morning, they were both in tears, apologizing and offering the other what they wanted. In the end, they gave Cassie the choice, which is what they should have done in the first place; but heated emotions and stubborn opinions, they have a way of ruling people. They were only human, after all.
"Come on, Cas. We're going to be late," Bella called, chuckling as her beautiful daughter bounced down the stairs, her curls bouncing right along with her feet.
She was a ball of excitement, while Bella was a ball of nerves.
"You look beautiful, baby," Bella whispered as she pulled her daughter into her arms, holding her close, never once allowing herself to forget how lucky she was to able to do such a thing.
"Not as beautiful as you, Mom."
Bella chuckled at that. She truly felt beautiful; for the first time in a very long time everything fell into place, including Bella's perception of herself.
The path to self acceptance had been a long and painful one; but with a shit ton of counseling and a supportive husband, a sweet daughter and some of the best friends a girl could ask for, along with a massive amount of self discovery, Bella worked through her guilt, looked past her mistakes, accepted them, and she knew, without a doubt, she was a better person because of that.
"Hurry up, Mom. We don't want to leave Daddy waiting."
No, no they didn't.
Bella smiled and held out her hand for Cassie.
On the drive to the cemetery, Bella couldn't help but wonder how many people would think they were nuts.
They might even be right.
But she liked their brand of nuts. It worked for them, and this was something that made sense to her, something they should have been able to do the first time. They wanted everyone who they loved with them, everyone who helped them find their way, molded them into the people, the family they were, to share in their happiness.
As they pulled up to the cemetery, Bella gasped audibly.
"Auntie Alice made it so beautiful," Cassie whispered in awe. Bella could only nod. She sure had.
Maybe their family joining ceremony wouldn't seem so creepy at a place like this, after all.
Bella smiled brightly as she made her way down the aisle, Jake once again at her side, but this time, her daughter preceded her, tossing dainty petals in the air and giggling as she went. By law, Edward and she were already married. But, after some long talks, they decided there were important people in their lives absent on that occasion, and that they both wanted to re-share that joy, this time with a complete family, renewed hopes and dreams, and a clean slate.
After their vows, Bella and Edward had something extra special planned, and Bella's smile split wide as the minster motioned for Cassie to join them.
"It is the desire of Bella and Edward to extend their commitments to each other by making some promises to their daughter, Cassie. As you all join hands to form a new circle of love, we will seal this union with spoken promises like the rings this bride and groom have exchanged.
"Do you, Bella and Edward, promise to be faithful, loving, tender, and nurturing parents, always there for Cassie's needs, not only providing her physical needs, but her emotional needs as well."
"Now, the bride and groom have written their own vows." The minister nodded his head in Edward's direction.
He gulped and closed his eyes for a moment before looking directly at Bella, into her eyes, then took a deep breath.
"Cassie, I want you to know that I love your mother very much. I will not and cannot replace Pops in your life. However, I can promise you that I will love you and care for you now that you are here with us. I promise to be a committed listener. I promise you my trust, to be fair, my support, what knowledge I can share, to be your friend, and to provide a shoulder to cry on. I promise to be available to you from this day forward and to never miss another single moment in your life. I promise to be the best dad I can be, a dad you have always deserved."
Bella watched, with tears glistening, then spilling down her cheeks as Cassie threw herself into Edward's arms. "I love you, Daddy. You're the best daddy ever."
Cassie was one of the few people in the world that could make Edward come undone, and now was one of those moments. His own eyes sparkled in the rare Forks sun as he held his daughter tight to him, whispering, "I love you, too, baby girl," as he stroked her long mane of hair.
The minster clearing his throat caught Edward's attention. He smiled, not wanting to be rude, but the ceremony needed to continue.
"I think Mommy has something to say to you, as well, Cas," Edward said in a hushed tone as he slowly lowered Cassie back on her feet.
As Cassie swiped at her eyes, Bella's heart flooded with emotions and her voice caught slightly in her throat. "Cas, I want you to know that I love your father so very much. I know I can't replace Nana in your life, and I, too, wish she were here with us," Bella paused and looked to her right, where Esme and Carlisle's gravestones stood. She smiled softly, hoping that maybe, just maybe, they were truly there with them on this day before she continued, "She was an amazing woman with such a great strength and the capability to love so unconditionally. She did an amazing job of taking care of you while I couldn't, and I can never express my gratitude and admiration for everything she did, with, and without everyone being in the know. However, I can promise you that we will always be together from here on out. I will do everything in my power and beyond to make sure you are always happy, loved, cared for, and cherished. I promise to listen to you when you need or want to talk. I promise you my friendship and loyalty, my compassion and advice. I promise you the kind of home every little girl should have. I give you my forever, and can only pray that one day you can forgive me for missing the first few years of your life."
"Mom, don't cry." Cassie wrapped her arms around Bella's waist and squeezed. The little girl's eyes were damp and her lip was quivering. She was smart for her age, and hated being talked down to. She was glad her parents used big girl words during their surprise vows; she was surprised by the vows themselves. She just wished she could show them somehow that she wasn't mad at them. Nana helped her understand that Mom and Daddy were sick and unable to take care of her. She forgave them before they even asked for it.
Cassie pulled back and looked towards the minister, "Is it okay if I say something, too?" she asked shyly, suddenly wondering if this was her bestest idea. Everyone was there: Grandma and Grandpa, Auntie Alice and Uncle Jasper, Aunt Rose, Uncle Emmett, Jake and Leah.
Her eyes darted around, from one familiar face to the other; and as each face she passed smiled or nodded in encouragement, she knew this was a safe place to say the things she needed her mom and dad to understand.
She took a shaky breath and looked up at them. "Mom, Daddy, these last few years living with you have been some of my best. I miss Nana and Pops all the time. Sometimes I even still cry when I think of them, but most of the time I don't. Because, they were happy when I was with them, and they are still together, up there, in heaven. So, that's kind of okay. At least they have each other. And now I have you both, and Nan was so very right. You are the bestest mother ever, Mom; and, Dad, you're just as handsome as Nan said you were. At night, when I wake up and need someone to talk to because my head is kind of confused, you don't get mad when I wake you up. Instead, you smile all sleepy-like and take my hand. Downstairs, in our special blankie, we talk until I am too sleepy to talk anymore. Then you carry me to bed. Yeah, I'm not fully asleep when you do, but I don't want you to know I'm awake because I like when you carry me and tuck me into bed, and kiss my cheek and tell me I'm your forever girl. And now….now, you are giving me the greatest gift ever. I get a little brother to share stories with and chase out of my room when he touches my dolls. I don't want you to think anymore that I might be upset with you. I'm not. I just love you. And loving you both makes me the happiest girl here."
Bella could no longer see her little girl, who apparently wasn't so little anymore. She was so smart, her wisdom far beyond her mere years alive. She wrapped her hand protectively around her swollen stomach and reached blindly with the other, wanting to just hold her, no words needed anymore. She understood what Cassie was saying; it was time to let go of that last piece of guilt that both she and Edward carried with them. It was time to live for today, not yesterday.
"Carlisle James Cullen, get your butt down here right now and give me my dolls back." Bella bolted up the stairs at the sound of Cassie's shrill voice. This fight seemed never ending between the two of them. Carlisle would go into Cassie's room when she wasn't looking, snatch up one of Cassie's porcelain dolls, then stand on her desk and make goo-goo faces and sounds with the doll.
He seemed to get much joy out of his sister's tantrums.
As she rounded the corner, there was Cassie, in full out tantrum mode with her hands on her hips and her left foot tapping rapidly against the floor.
"I'm going to give you to the count of ten, then I'm going to go and put your GI Joe in the toilet."
Bella held back a chuckle as she heard Carlisle gasp, "You wouldn't!"
Cassie, true to her snarky ways, smirked, "Oh, but I would."
Carlisle made a squealing noise and jumped down from the desk, gently placing the doll in Cassie's waiting hands, before he darted from her room, almost taking Bella down with him as he flew past.
"Hey, Mom. Gotta go, Mom."
Cassie turned towards the door, smiling as she saw her mom leaning in the doorway.
"You know I wouldn't flush his action figures, right?"
She knew Cassie wouldn't. She was far too nice to do something that would cause her brother such distress, and that boy sure was attached to those plastic figurine characters.
"But it sure is fun making him squirm like that," Cassie continued. Bella smiled back before stepping into the room and taking the doll from her daughter's hands.
"This is one of the ones from Nana, right?" she asked softly.
Cassie nodded softly, her bottom lip quivering slightly.
"She'd be so proud of you, baby girl. So proud, and I know she's always watching. I just know."
"Thanks, Mom," Cassie sniffed as she gave her a one-armed hug. "I should put this up higher. It would really hurt if Carlisle accidentally broke it."
"I have a better idea. How about we go down to the mall and buy some display boxes for the older dolls, huh?"
Cassie smiled brightly before placing the doll safely back on its shelf. "I think that's a good idea, Mom. Thanks."
"K, get ready. I'll get your brother and meet you downstairs."
Once in the hallway, Bella pulled out her cell phone and dialed Edward's number. He answered after the second ring.
"How's my beautiful girl doing?" She still blushed when he said things like that. No amount of time would ever find her tired of his sweet nothings and loving words.
"I'm good, babe. I'm just about to take the kids down to the mall to get a few things. Do you want to meet us there? I have something I want to share with you all."
"Is everything okay?"
Bella smirked and rubbed at her stomach. It sure was, but that didn't stop her from being nervous. Not one bit. The doctor had told her after having Carlisle that having another baby would be even more difficult. He actually encouraged her to abort the pregnancy, fearing she wouldn't make it past the first term. That was why she had waited until she was four months pregnant to tell the kids and Edward.
She felt kind of shitty for keeping something like that from them, especially Edward, but she had her sneaky suspicions that he already knew.
"Yeah, I just want to share some news with my family. Maybe we could go to dinner at that small restaurant right out front of the mall, and we can talk over dinner?"
Edward chuckled softly, gaining Bella's attention, and curiosity. "Alright, Bella, that sounds good. I'll be at the mall in thirty minutes, then you can tell me and the kids over dinner that we're having another baby. See you soon, my love."
Bella gasped and stared at the phone in her hands.
That sneaky bugger. So
she hadn't been dreaming the other night when she thought she heard Edward talking all baby-like; he had been talking to her stomach.
I hope you enjoyed that lil glimpse into their future.
This was written to help support SU4K. I hope most of you did, thus already having read this. It is a great cause started because of a beautiful person.
Would love to hear from yàll- once again- so click that lil review bubble and share your thoughts with me.
Are you reading The Choices we Make?
Did you have a great Christmas?
Spend it with all of those who matter most in your life?
What'd you do for New Year's?
What was your New Year's resolution?
Mine is/ was many things- but mostly to be a stronger woman- emotionally and mentally.
See, I haven't talk to many of you in like forever- now I have too many questions to ask y'all.
I will shut up now.