|Cave Story Abridged
Author: Lunara the Ara PM
When a random guy wakes up in a random cave, there's not much to think about. Except how the hell he got there in the first place. Parody of Cave Story. Expect really random... randomness. T for language and other thingies.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Adventure - Words: 718 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 03-09-12 - id: 7909902
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
I honestly don't know... XD
From somewhere, a transmission...
This random guy was typing at a random keyboard, randomly sweating like mad. He had been in this random, stupid room for... damn it, even the author of this story can't answer that random question.
Either way, the GREEN-HAIRED man was screaming whatever he typed in bad grammar. "SUUUUUUUUUUUUUE!11!1!11 U WILL ANSER MOI WRIGHT NAO. U BETTR; Or IWilL RIP UR HEADZ OFF EVEN THO I HAZ NO REL WEY OFDOIN DAT. I HAS NO IDE WER U R. ANSER PLZ. PLLLLLZZZZZZ."
This other random guy opened his eyes. He sat up, looking around. He was in a cave, go figure. IT'S CALLED CAVE STORY, DAMN IT, WHY ELSE WOULD HE BE IN A CAVE? GAWSH. He looked at himself, then touched his face. He let out a silent "OHMAIGAWSH." Because he had no idea that he was a chipmunk all along. He ran through the random cave, getting slapped with fish thrown by the bats. Then... HE SAW IT.
A tiger's mouth.
His mouth gaped, then he screamed-NO. He is a SILENT protagonist, not a complete CHATTERBOX.
He went inside the tiger's mouth, surprised he wasn't encountering any innards, then saw an old man... sleeping. The silent freak poked him. No answer. He sighed, and kicked a random treasure chest. A blue gun spilled out. OMG He thought. I can steal this rather strange, radiant, bright blue gun from this old freakish hag and I will eat the bats and their fish.
He picked it up, and ran out of the tiger, killing the bats and their evil seaweed fishy thingies.
The green haired man was still trying to contact Sue. Whoever the hell she was...
"SUUEUEUEUeUEUUEUEUeb!~!#89vdj ANSWRT ME DDADND FeEddss me and cert hd I WANT TOEAT UR PEANTU BUTER. GIIMME SOMD EIGHT now!1!1111" He wasn't even looking at the screen as he typed. He was focused on the brown beetle crawling toward him. "BEFORE AI ETA THAT COCKROAHTHED!11!1!11..." He paused. "...LAWL I DIDT EAT ThST STUPIS THING. LOLOLOLOL..."
He saw a door. It looked just like any other door. UNTIL IT OPENED IT'S EYE. It's a DOOR. And it had a FUCKING EYE. I mean, when the hell?
He stared at it for about forty-five minutes, then shot it. IT DIED. A DOOR DIED. He went through it and fell from the SKY. WAIT. THERE'S NO SKY IN A CAVE. FFFFFFFUUUUUUU-
"Gimmie the key!"
"Give the key!"
"...DAMN IT, GIVE THAT KEY YOU-"
"Toroko! When the Doctor comes here, he will take you and RAPE YOU IF YOU DON'T GIVE THAT KEY TO ME."
Toroko was just about to hand the stupid key to the guy arguing with him when...
Our silent protagonist fell from the sky. RIGHT IN BETWEEN THE FLUFFY BUNNIEZ. The pathetic Toroko dashed away screaming, and the creepy, SNAKE EYED Mimiga fell over onto his butt, saying so many curse words that I shall not list them because I am too lazy. DON'T ASK. PLEASE.
"What the fu-" The strange Mimiga sat up, and when he saw out silent protagonist, he screamed like a girl. "...-"
The silent protagonist's eyes narrowed, then he slapped the orange eyed freak across the face, his face clearly saying: 'Shut the fuck up, you retard.'
The Mimiga drew his sword, and slapped him back, sending our silent protagonist tumbling to the ground.
"Look, if you wanna kill us all, you'll have to get through me first! And there's no way I'm going to be beaten by some lunatic falling from the sky! GIVE ME A GOOD REASON WHY I SHOULDN'T BISECT YOU RIGHT NOW!"
Out silent protagonist was lying on his back, staring at the guy he nearly crushed upside-down. HE ACTUALLY SPOKE 4 THE FIRST TIME."...Because I'm not trying to kill you...?" HE WAS SILENT NO LONGERRR.
"Funny way of showing it," He pointed his sword at the mark his sword left on our NO LONGER SILENT protagonist's face. "because that's gonna leave a bruise for weeks. My name's King."
Really short, I know... XD