|The Universe Hates You, Loki
Author: TheLTrain PM
When he isn't fighting the Avengers, Loki has a dayjob as a children's party magician and a shitty apartment in the Bronx.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Tragedy - Loki - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,933 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 05-18-12 - Published: 03-09-12 - id: 7910016
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Loki would have chosen something bigger. More grand, more stately, maybe a little less full of old people and dry rot. He would have, that is, if SHIELD hadn't managed to figure out a method of identifying and tracking the energy signature his magic produced. Therefore, magic of any sort was strictly off limits until he was actually in a fight with his brother and his brother's new super hero buddies. So that wonderful upper east side apartment with a view of Central Park was out of his price range. He needed to remain near Manhattan if he wanted to keep his eye on the Avengers, so he decided to look a little further uptown for accommodations. Eventually he hit the Bronx. It was that or the suburbs, and he wasn't about to deal with the commute. Loki settled on a wonderful little apartment building owned by Enid and Abraham Horowitz.
Loki had a very intimate knowledge of the inner workings of the Horowitz household. After all, they lived in the apartment directly beside his, and the walls were very thin.
"DID YOU PAY THE BOY?"
"DON'T PLAY DUMB WITH ME, ABE. THE BOY WHO SCHLEPPED YOUR GODDAMN READING CHAIR UP THE STAIRS YESTERDAY."
"YOU MEAN PARKER?
"YOU KNOW GODDAMN WELL WHO I MEAN, ABE."
"OF COURSE I PAYED HIM, ENID. YOU WERE RIGHT THERE IN THE KITCHEN."
"I WAS BUSY MAKING YOUR GODAMMN DINNER. YOU THINK I GOT THE TIME TO MAKE SURE YOU DO EVERY LITTLE THING YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO?"
"SEE, THIS IS WHY NONE OF THE KIDS'LL TAKE THE DOWNSTAIRS APARTMENT. YOU AND YOUR GODDAMN KVETCHING."
"IT'S NOT ME, IT'S THIS SCHLOCK BUILDING YOU DON'T TAKE CARE OF. I SAW A ROACH THE OTHER DAY. WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MINDS WOULD WANT TO RAISE A CHILD IN THIS DUMP? WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO CALL THE EXTERMINATOR LIKE I KEEP TELLING YOU?"
"THERE AIN'T NO GODDAMN ROACHES. I DON'T HEAR ANY OF THE SCHMUCKS IN THIS BUILDING COMPLAINING. JUST YOU."
There were roaches. Loki knew this because he was looking at two of them at that very moment. No one else, except apparently Enid, noticed them because everyone else in the building was over seventy-five and couldn't find their reading glasses most days. This was probably also why the peeling paint and the water damage was never reported or taken care of. Honestly, it was sort of a miracle the building hadn't been condemned yet.
It was incredibly difficult to get any evil plotting done while Enid and Abraham were at it. The fact that Enid always brought him some homemade knishes or latkes as an unspoken apology after she and Abraham had a particularly loud argument did help to lessen his frustration with them.
Loki fiddled with the fraying edge of his bed sheet. He needed new bed linens something awful. His current bedding had been provided by Enid when he had first moved in. She said they were family heirlooms. Loki found the neon orange price sticker from Good Will still stuck to the pillow case later that night. As time wore on, Loki had found himself thinking more of ways to earn money to replace his lavender sheets and lumpy mattress and less of ways to humiliate Thor and take his revenge on all of Asgard. This led him to start a business as a magician for children's parties. The sequined vest was too large for him and the children were sticky, but the money was good. Sometimes, the parents would even send him home with a piece of birthday cake as well as his cash payment. Once, a woman gave him the whole cake. Granted, most of it was in Loki's hair. If the boy hadn't been seven Loki might have considered recruiting him as a minion.
Loki stared at the crack in his ceiling. Well, he stared at the most apparent one. Over the Horowitzes, he could sort of make out what sounded like a gang fight somewhere outside on the street. Loki recalled the confrontation with his father when Loki had demanded the truth of his heritage and asked if he was cursed. Odin had claimed Loki was not cursed, just adopted. The universe clearly did not share this opinion.