|Heart's A Mess
Author: FlyFirstThinkLater PM
They don't know what it is they want. Why cant they see that they need each other?Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance - Beck O. & Jade W. - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,915 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 04-15-12 - Published: 03-13-12 - id: 7921600
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
This is my first ever Victorious FanFic, It will eventually be Bade in the end. I do not own Victorious
"Are you saying that you shouldn't have broken up with me?" Jade asked confusion coating her
words like sickly icing on a cake. She had the right to be confused; he had been so indecisive lately.
"Yes, No Maybe!" Beck cried his eyes boring into hers, desperate for her to understand.
"Which is it Beck?" Jade questioned growing tired of his games.
"I, I don't know Jade," He responded wishing that he could find an answer that was satisfactory.
He'd had enough of this though always trying to please her; he didn't want her anymore, did he?
All she could do was sigh.
"What do you want me to say Jade? Hmm what do you want? Every time I make a decision you get
upset! We argue too much!" He was yelling now, and it was breaking her heart.
"I just want you to leave me alone," Was all she could muster up trying to hold back her tears,
turning away from him, she wouldn't dare look back, Jade West never looked back.
He'd done it again; he'd tried to explain but just ended up blaming her. He knew she'd cry, he knew
that he was the cause of her pain and he hated himself for that. But surely this wasn't love, not
anymore. He didn't love her still, did he? What did it matter, he'd finished with her, he hadn't gone
to her before she had reached ten. He'd just let her go. He'd given his best to their relationship,
obviously it wasn't enough. But as he closed his eyes all he could see was her, she was always on his
mind, but never there when he needed her around. Beck had come to the conclusion that he could
close his eyes to the things that he didn't want to see but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't
close his heart to the things he didn't want to feel. He no longer believed in happily ever after, what
was there left to hope for? Jade would always be Jade, she wouldn't change for anyone. And Beck
would always be Beck; there was only so much he could take. Their relationship had come undone
and he'd given up. It was too late.
Jade's Point Of View
"It's so nice that we're hanging out Jadey!" Cat giggled loudly into my ear.
"Hmm," I muttered less than enthusiastic. I felt this way again. Cold. I'd failed again, failed to get his
love. I just wished that he'd make up his mind, at least then I'd know where I stood. Whether or not
there was any chance left. It was sad and pathetic and I knew that, but that's what I was without
Beck, sad and pathetic.
"Soooo what should we do?" Cat asked bouncing up and down on her knees beside me.
"Nothing," I stated
"Nothing?" She asked "That sounds….fun"
"No it doesn't"
"We could talk," She suggested chipper
"We could but that requires effort on my part," I groaned
"Please Jadey… We could talk about Beck,"
I instantly glared at her "And what makes you think I want to discuss him?"
"I, I don't know," He words echoing Beck's from earlier on
"God no one knows anything anymore!" I yelled
"I'm sorry Jadey it was only a suggestion," she whimpered
"You want to talk about Beck? OK fine let's talk about Beck!" I growled
"Are, are you sure?"
"Yeah go on!"
"So how has he been, I haven't really seen him around lately?" She asked, could the girl really be any
"I wouldn't know, seeing as I'm not his girlfriend anymore," I seethed
"So you haven't spoken to him at all?"
"Nope," I lied, hoping that would conclude this topic. It did and after about five minutes of Cat's
annoying humming I couldn't take it anymore.
"I'm out," I told her quickly grabbing my bag and departing before she had a chance to protest.
I had decided to walk, not realising at that time that I would therefore be left alone once again with
my thoughts. My thoughts of Beck. He didn't know what it was he wanted; he'd always wanted to
think for himself and then when he gained the chance too he couldn't make up his mind and it was
messing with my head. I hadn't noticed that I had begun to cry, until I could taste the salty tears as
they reached my mouth. I stopped to wipe them away looking around at my unfamiliar
surroundings, I was lost, that much was clear. It was dawning on Sunday night and as I pulled out my
phone I thought of who to call. Twenty minutes passed and after numerous amounts of phone calls I
was no closer to getting home. If the circumstances had been different he would have been my first
call and yet now he was the one person I was hoping not to have to contact. I scrolled through my
contacts I stopped on his name 'Beck' and forced myself to press dial. The phone rang for what
seemed like hours and finally he answered.
"Jade?" He asked obviously surprised that I had called him after our earlier encounter.
"I need you." I whispered afraid of saying the words "I mean I need your help,"
"What is it?" He questioned
"I'm lost Beck," I informed him, ashamed that I was having to turn to him.
He sighed "Where are you?"
"Well if I knew that I wouldn't be lost would I?" I snapped
"Describe your surroundings," He told me
After about 2 minutes of the most detailed description I could muster, Beck informed me that he
knew where I was and that he would be there soon.
As the minutes passed I placed myself on the curb and scolded myself for asking him to come and
get me. It took him half an hour to arrive which led me to the idea that it was going to be a long ride
back. As his car pulled up beside me, I watched him lean over and open the door for me. I slipped in
and put on my safety belt facing away from him.
"Thanks for coming to get me," I muttered not wanting to look at him in case he could see that I had
been crying earlier.
"So how did you wind up here?" Beck asked creating small talk.
"Don't," I instructed him "Just don't"
"Don't what?" He asked
"You don't get to do that; you don't get to pretend that earlier on never happened," I said turning
my face slightly towards him
"Jade, I'm, I'm," He stuttered
"I'm sorry for hurting you," He pleaded
"No you're not,"
"Hey! Look you're the one that called me remember," Beck snapped as I watched his knuckles turn
white due to his ever tightening grip on the steering wheel.
"I had no other choice…" I sneered
Beck's Point Of View
She had no other choice? What was that supposed to mean?
"I never wanted it to be like this Jade," I once again tried to explain to her,
"We don't always get what we want Beck,"
I turned to look at her properly for a second; she looked beautiful as usual, she always did.
Urgently I turned my eyes back to the road, enduring the awkward silence that filled the next twenty
minutes of the drive to her house. Slowly I pulled into her drive coming to a stop; she left me no
chance to speak and removed herself from the car. Before she closed the door she turned to me
"This," She gestured between herself and I "Changes nothing," She concluded slamming the door
shut and walking up to her home. She didn't look back, Jade West never did.