|All the World is Waiting for the Sun
Author: Scarlett Rogue PM
Harry and Ginny have been married for a few years, but Harry is suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. All it takes is one very tiny yet very big miracle to get him to see the beauty of his life once more.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance - Harry P. & Ginny W. - Words: 2,317 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Published: 03-13-12 - Status: Complete - id: 7922050
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Summary: Harry and Ginny have been married for a few years, but Harry is suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. All it takes is one very tiny yet very big miracle to get him to see the beauty of his life once more.
Rated: T...Not sure why
-see how dirty her blood really is!
Percy, we have to go! We have to move him!
Not my daughter!
Harry shot up from his bed without thinking, nearly kicking Ginny off in the process. His breath was ragged and his shirt soaked through with sweat, but he paused to make sure he hadn't woken his wife. He usually woke her up, always felt bad about it, and was relieved to see her chest rising and falling in a slow pattern. He took a second to take in her red hair wrapped around her face, framing her lovely pale skin, before he climbed out of bed quietly and left the room. He closed the door softly behind him.
He shuffled downstairs slowly, remembering to step over the step that creaked. The house he and Ginny moved in right before they got married was in the center of Godric's Hallow, and very old. Despite it's existence for over five-hundred years, it was small and ideal. He shuffled to the sink and got a glass of water, barely feeling the liquid hit his tongue. His thoughts were still half-way in his dreams.
It was like this almost every night since the war ended. Though Harry's scar had yet to hurt him since Voldemort's death, his heart ached each night when he was forced to relive some of the worst moments, some of the moments that made him want to board that train in his mind and never go back. The water in his glass shook, spilling over the edges, and he placed the cup unsteadily on the counter.
He never expected his life to be perfect after the war; he did, however, expect the pain to ease and fade away, as it had done for the rest of his family. His brothers, who had lost someone of their own blood, someone they had grown up with, were now more or less accepting of how life had changed. He thought that if they could move on, he should as well. But it wasn't that easy.
He and Ginny had been married for years. He loved her more than anything in the world. They lived together in the house of their dreams. He had acquired five brothers, two parents, and countless cousins that he would never be able to name. He had the job that he had been dreaming of for years, the only job he had ever wanted, and he was steadily making his way up the department. So, why was this still eating at him?
Gentle, small hands fell on his hips, followed by thin but strong arms wrapping around his waist. Harry leaned his head back and felt her cheek press against his.
"You should have stayed in bed," Harry whispered. Ginny kissed his cheek and pulled his back against her chest.
"The bed got cold."
They stood there in the dark just holding each other, and Harry listened intently to the quiet thumping of his wife's heart, feeling it against his back.
"It's not getting better, is it?" Ginny's words made Harry want to hit himself. He had tried so hard to hide all this from Ginny. Sure, he woke her up every once in a while and she got to see her "strong" husband fall apart, but that didn't happen often. When they first got married he woke her up about once a week, but now it was more like once every two months. He thought he was fooling her.
That was stupid, though. Ginny missed nothing.
"No, it isn't. I keep expecting it to...waiting. I don't know..."
"Come back to bed." She tugged on his arm gently and he followed willingly, knowing that he wouldn't have anymore nightmares tonight.
"Hey mate, can I have a word?" Ron leaned up against the frame of the door to Harry's office a few days later. Harry shuffled papers on his desk, trying to find the report he was supposed to hand in today. He checked everywhere at home and couldn't find it, so it had to be here.
"Kinda busy at the moment, Ron. Can this wait?"
"Like hell it can. Ginny's been bothering me for days to talk to you!"
"Fine!" Harry threw his hands in the air and gestured to a chair. "Sit."
"Alright, here goes. Ginny told me about the nightmares, and I'm worried about- Harry!" Harry jumped, yanking his hands away from the pile of papers he was attempting - and failing - to search through discretely. "I'm trying to talk to you, mate. Listen to me, or I'll kick you in the arse."
"Yes, yes, go on then!"
"Nightmares. I know about them. Talk to me." Harry sighed and leaned back in his hair.
"I don't know what you want me to say, Ron. Yeah, I'm still having nightmares. Yeah, they're beastly. I'm trying really hard not to let it interfere with my life, though."
"But it is interfering. You always look either tired or smashed, you don't eat that much, and Ginny was unkind enough to mention that the shagging hasn't been as good." Ron grimaced at the last statement.
"She said that!" Harry's eyes widened comically, and Ron decided that he could forgive his little sister for putting such images into his head after all.
"Relax mate, she didn't say it was bad. She said it wasn't as good."
"Same bloody thing," Harry mumbled, glaring as Ron burst out laughing.
"She's worried about you. I'm sure there's a lot more to it than what she told me. Hell, she sees you more vulnerable than anyone. Just try to remember that everything happens for a reason. Yeah, the war sucked, but it's time to move on. You can't keep living with one foot in the past." Ron was right; Harry needed to move on. It was a lot easier said than done, though.
"When did you get so smart?" Harry teased. Ron rolled his eyes.
"Been spending too much time with 'Mione, I guess."
"I bet you have," Harry said suggestively. Ron turned bright red and jumped up from his seat.
"Off to lunch, you have fun at that meeting."
"I will, if only I could find this damn- here it is!" Harry whipped the report out from his stack of papers and held it close to his chest. Ron just rolled his eyes as he started to close the door.
"Bite your arm off, mate." Harry laughed and waved at his friend. With the report out of the way, he only had one thing to worry about. Unfortunately it was the harder thing to fix.
Harry came home that day feeling utterly drained. The report had gone over successfully and he even got to train a few new members of the department. Training always wore him out, but he felt wonderful when it was over. And the trainees made him feel useful.
"Gin-bug, I'm home!" Harry called. The house was dark, though, and Harry found a note on the kitchen table saying that Ginny had gone to her Mother's house. Harry sighed, considering just staying put. He was dead on his feet, after all. But he was having one of those days where it was hard for him to be away from Ginny, so he disapparated to the Burrow.
After the war the Burrow had been restored to its former glory. Harry always felt a glow of happiness when he stared up at the leaning building with it's many floors. This was the place he had come to know as home as a teen and he was happy to see it back to the way it was.
"Harry, dear!" Mrs. Weasley called when Harry entered the kitchen. She wrapped her arms around Harry's neck and pulled him in for a tight hug.
"Hey Mum. How was your day?"
"Splendid, dear. Except for the gnomes. Those creatures just don't know when to quit." Harry smiled, remembering their de-gnoming days. Mrs. Weasley sat him down on the couch. "How was your day, dearie?"
"It was...okay." Mrs. Weasley watched him intently and Harry squired in the face of those light brown eyes, knowing she was looking right through him. "Is Ginny still here?" Mrs. Weasley's smiled brightened shockingly.
"Yes, she is. Hold on. GINNNNYYY!" Harry didn't even flinch at the ear-splitting volume. He was too used to it by now. Within seconds Ginny came running down the stairs and threw herself on Harry. He laughed and cradled her against his chest.
"Hello, beautiful." He kissed her neck softly as she sighed and ran her fingers through his messy hair.
"I'm off to make tea," Mrs. Weasley said, still smiling. "Andy and Teddy will be here later, so I expect both of you to stay a while."
When she left the room Ginny pressed her lips against Harry's, pulling her body flush against his. His eyes widened for a second in surprise before he captured her face between his hands and stroked her soft skin. She pushed him back against the couch and pressed herself against his body. Harry jumped at the contact and gently pulled away.
"I don't think now is the place for this, Gin." Harry said gently. He was still fully aware of the tightening in his abdomen, as was Ginny, if that smile was any indication.
"Sorry, I got a little carried away," she giggled. She was unusually bubbly today. She grabbed his hands suddenly and placed them on her small stomach.
"What do you feel?" She said, excited. Harry was sure this was a trick question, but he was used to humoring the more odd side of Ginny's personality.
"Your stomach." She shook her head. "Um...nothing else, I guess."
"Exactly!" Her smile got really big. "You'll feel something in a few months, though." She waited for the words to register in Harry's mind.
It didn't take long for them to do so. Harry and Ginny had talked about having children a lot lately and, though they technically weren't trying to get pregnant, they weren't taking steps to prevent pregnancy, either. Harry lifted Ginny's shirt and caressed the smooth, firm skin on her stomach. He felt her laughter shake through his hands and he was sure it was in response to his awestruck expression.
Ginny nodded, that radiant smile getting even bigger if possible.
Harry didn't know what to say, so he pulled her into a gentle hug, stroking her long red hair. He could feel her lips on his neck, pressing soft kisses to the exposed skin.
"I just found out today. I was gonna wait for a better time to tell you, but-"
"This is the perfect time. Trust me." He held her away and stared longingly into those perfect eyes, more happy now than he had been in a long time.
Harry remembered very clearly the months following the war, when Teddy was so small and fragile. He was an unusually quiet baby and loved to sit in people's arms and watch the world around him, eyes wide and color changing constantly. Harry loved holding him. He remembered the way Teddy would wrap his tiny hand around one of Harry's fingers and look up at him with a toothless grin, but now he imaged it was his own son or daughter.
Don't get him wrong; he loved Teddy. But it was different, knowing the baby in his hands was from the woman he loved. It wasn't just having a baby of their own, it was having months to watch as this creature went from being nothing to everything, a living, breathing human with needs and desires, and an attachment to the people who brought him into the world. Harry never realized how badly he had wanted a baby until now.
It was like something had changed within him. He pulled Ginny close to him, one hand rubbing her stomach while the other weaved its way through her hair.
He thought back on Ron's words earlier. You can't keep living with one foot in the past. Harry had to let the past go, because the future was suddenly right in front of him, needing him to move forward. Because it wasn't only his life he was affecting; it was Ginny's, and now, their child.
"Our child," Harry whispered, voice full of awe. Mrs. Weasley was setting tea in front of them and, upon overhearing Harry, her eyes filled up with tears and her smile grew impossibly wide.
When Andy showed up with little Teddy, who was grabbing at the hem of her skirt, Teddy ran into Harry's arms. The man picked him up, hugged him close, and said, "How would you like a baby brother or sister, Teddy?" The boy's answering clapping and squeals of delight were the cherry on top of a perfect night.
I've actually been writing this for a few months now. I wrote most of it in one night, but I just couldn't get the ending right, hence the months of staring with guilt at my document manager, where this little fic has been rotting away. Hope you like it! PLEASE REVIEW! It takes five seconds and makes me so happy, so please review.