Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to SU2. It belongs to Evan Katz
and UPN. Blah, blah, blah. But UPN really shouldn't mind that I'm
borrowing the show, because they were the ones dumb enough to dump it.
Spoilers: The Beast, and it's a good idea to read The Yellow Rose first.
Somewhere in Chicago:
A college student has just finished her laundry. She neatly folds
the clothes and puts them away in her drawers. Unbeknownst to her (but
knownst to us) disaster is about to strike! As she folds the last of her
socks, she realizes that she has an extra! How could this be? She checked
and double checked the washer AND dryer to make sure she hadn't left any
inside! That was the third sock this month! And of course, her new spare
sock didn't match either of her other sock widows! Oh, the horror! As she
left her dorm room, the normally shy and kind young college student was so
overcome with annoyance at her lost sock that she callously pushed her
house mate down the stairs.
(Cool music here)
Kate was looking uncharacteristically gloomy that particular morning.
Not just regular "it's Monday morning and I don't wanna go to work and try
to keep my idiot partner from beating up the Gnome and hope I don't get
monster slime on my designer clothes" kind of gloomy, but an extra gloom on
top of THAT gloom.
Nick recognized it immediately. "Bad date last night?"
She looked like she wanted to snap his neck for even mentioning it.
She groaned. "I though Jack the Ripper was bad, but I've hit a new low."
"That bad?" Nick asked sympathetically. "He was a link."
Kate laughed in a way that made it clear that there was nothing funny
about it. "This guy was a link, too. A shapeshifter. And on top of that,
when I came back from the restroom, he was hitting on the girl at the next
"The creep!" Nick knew his lines in this situation very well by now.
'The guy's a creep,' 'He doesn't deserve you,' 'You're better off without
him,' and of course, 'You look nice today.'
But Kate didn't relax at all. "That's not the worst of it! He's
scuzzy, he's a link, and I just checked with Carl: He's MARRIED!!!!!!!!"
Her face was the color of a cherry, and she looked like she would explode.
As much as Nick loved explosions, he valued his partner a little more, and
rushed to get her a glass of water. Once she had cooled down, she talked
again, this time in a low, sad voice. "I really thought that that flower I
found was some kind of sign. It sounds stupid, but I really thought things
would be okay. I thought that next time, I would meet just the right
person. I guess it's just stupid to get my hopes up." She paused. "Sorry
to dump on you like that."
"Dump away. Besides beating the snot out of Carl and the occasional
explosion, your dumping is the best part of my day."
Kate was about to say something when Page called them into his
office. "Benson, O'Malley! Get in here! There's a link prowling about
the city and causing trouble. Jonathan!"
"Huh, oh right, the Link. Well, as far as I can tell," he grinned.
"You aren't going to believe this! Wow! What we have is a Kleptaraiment."
He relished the important sounding word, obviously very proud of it.
Kate raised an eyebrow.
"In English, please," Nick requested.
"Um, well, it's commonly known as 'that annoying thing that takes
your socks out of the dryer so you never find them again.'"
Kate laughed, while Nick's expression turned serious. "Look," she
said. "I hate that as much as anybody, but what's the big deal? It's not
exactly life threatening."
"Oh, really?" Captain Page asked darkly. "I will have you know that
the Kleptaraiment is responsible for about 90% of the random crimes that
happen everyday. People loose their socks, people get frusterated, people
start assaulting people. A wave of rage passes over the city. NEVER
underestimate a Kleptaraiment."
"So, is there any good news here?" Kate wondered.
"Sure," Nick said. "When you kill them, they blow up." He winked.
Kate rolled her eyes. She was feeling really bad, Nick knew, but not
for long. He had an idea! And given his success with his last idea, which
hadn't ruined his life, after all, he was feeling pretty good about it.
Please R&R! I'll love you forever!
Questions to be answered:
~Will the wave of rage be tamed with the gentle winds of understanding and
communication? Or will the stormy seas of frustration forever overwhelm
our superegos? (Sorry, I forgot this isn't a Frasier fic.)
~Will the socks of Chicago ever be returned?
~What the Hell idiot thing is Nick planning now?
~When do we eat hot dogs?