Warning: This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

Disclaimer: It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

Roxas is beginning to fall apart

He was hyperventilating. I decided that that was more important than yelling at Demyx, and steered Roxas into a chair. He was shaking so hard that I thought he'd break, and instinctively I put an arm around his shoulders and started whispering in his ear that he would be okay, that everything was okay. Demyx just left. I was furious with him, and so, so hurt, but there was nothing I could really say with Roxas in the room.

"Axel..." Roxas took a deep breath, relaxing a little. "Axel... I..."

"It's okay, Roxas. Don't worry."

He screwed up his face like maybe that would stop the tears. As gently as I could, I dabbed away his tears, pulling him as close to me as I could. "Thanks, Axel."

"Don't mention it," I said quietly. "I'm really sorry, that was the worst time for me to pick a fight with Demyx..."

"It's okay," he mumbled, in a way that suggested it was totally not okay and he never wanted to talk to me again. "Are you all right?"

"Not really," I said bluntly, stretching one of my legs out until my knee clicked into the place it belonged. "I'm more worried about you, though."

"You always are." Roxas sighed. "Why are you so upset about me and Demyx kissing? Are you sure you don't like him?"

Okay, I swear he was doing this to me on purpose now.

"Yes, Roxas, I'm sure," I said through gritted teeth, trying really hard not to be pissed off at him. It wasn't his fault that he was so oblivious. I like to believe that all of his problems stemmed from Hayner being an absolute dick all the damn time.

"Just checking. So how come you're so upset about –"

"Because... uh..." Think of a lie, think of a decent lie you fuck-up... "Because I'm all insecure and shit, because if you and Demyx ended up having a thing together I'd be all left out and alone."

Roxas sighed. "Like me and Demyx would ever go near each other again. It was one time, because he was upset and I was upset and we both needed someone." If you had needed someone, Demyx should have directed you to me, not kissed you, but he's such a filthy little whore... I was furious with him. And I was also really really upset that that had even happened, that nobody had told me, that now Roxas was going to blame himself for Henna being ill... "I don't think I could abandon you now if I tried, though. You've done so much for me..."

"I haven't, not really." I didn't feel like I had done anything for him. Every single last penny I had given to him had been out of the selfish need to be loved by him, every smile had been an attempt to win him over, and really, everything I had ever said to him was an effort to make him mine forever and ever, with very little thought given to the idea that actually, as much as it pained me to think it, he might not like me back. "I'm just... being myself."
"Well, it does a lot for me." Please let that mean precisely what I think it means. "Thank you."

"Any time. You know I like you, Roxas." Just more than you think. A lot more than you think. "You wanna do something this weekend?"

He grimaced. "I was gonna work this weekend, I have about half the munny I need for Naminé so –"

"I can give you munny, it's no problem, I have way too much anyway and –"

"No." I decided I really liked it when he was harsh like that. "Look, I'm not accepting handouts, okay? My family isn't a charity."

"Fair enough, but remember that if you change your mind –"

"Shut up." He was scowling now. Damn, I never knew a scowl could be that attractive.

"Okay, okay." I realised that I still had an arm around him from his... panic attack? I think that's what they're called. "Are you okay now?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I should probably go and see if they've finished with my sister's –"

"Wait!" I tightened my grip on him instinctively, wincing when he looked at me like I should go find myself a hospital bed of my own. "Um... so this weekend..."

"I'm probably going to do shit with Seifer or Hayner, see if they have any spare change they can throw me, you know... unless you have any housework that needs doing?" His enormous blue eyes were looking at me like I was the answer to every question ever asked, and even though I couldn't think of a single thing that could possibly need doing in my house, I knew I was physically incapable of letting him down.

"Uh... sure I do!" Think of something, think of something... "I have this shitty essay I need to do for Xigbar..." BRILLIANT. "Would you mind writing that for me?"

"Sure. But, uh, I wouldn't need to come to your place for that, right? I could just –"

"No! No, um, the, uh... notes, they're, um... stapled..." Stapled to what? WHY THE FUCK DID I SAY THAT? WHO STAPLES NOTES TO THINGS? "Stapled to my, uh... noticeboard thing..."

"You have a noticeboard? I didn't spot it when I stayed over at your place," Roxas mused, looking incredibly sexy with his little thoughtful pout and wrinkled forehead. "Then again, your house is, like, enormous..."

"Yeah, it is." Where the fuck was I going to get a noticeboard from? I could steal one from my dad's office, I suppose, but if he happened to come home any time soon and notice it was gone... "I, uh, I actually took my noticeboard down when you came over because I didn't want you to think I was a nerd or anything." WHY? WHY COULDN'T I STOP TALKING?

"You, a nerd? Next thing you know Demyx will be an honour student and Larxene will be a virgin."

I laughed. He was so amazing, funny and smart and gorgeous... "So, yeah, if you wanna come to my place on, like, Saturday and we can go get ice cream or something afterwards..."

He perked up a little bit. "Would you pay?"

"No, Roxas, I was going to give you cash for your sister and then expect you to spend it on ice cream." I rolled my eyes. "At least I know you're a natural blonde."

"I'm not, actually." I raised an eyebrow. There was no way he couldn't be a natural blonde. "It's actually, um, blue."

"Prove it." God, I really hope that it is blue, and he takes off his clothes to prove it, and then I prove I'm really this shade of red and –

"What, you're saying that you don't believe me? I'm insulted."

I laughed. "I'm not saying I don't believe you, but you know, there are a lot of liars about these days..."

"Okay, fine, I'll show you my chest hair." He stood up, shrugged off his jacket and grabbed the neckline of his shirt. "I warn you, I'm blindly pale and really skinny –"

"Oh, fuck off, you're not nearly as pale as I am." Take your shirt off, take it off, please... "Look, are you stripping or what?"

"No way am I stripping." Oh, well, I still have some footage of you getting changed for PE. Not to mention in the shower afterwards, and hey, now I know where you live... "But look." He pulled down his shirt's neckline just long enough for me to glimpse some of his creamy white skin and suddenly develop a rather painful boner in my very tight trousers, which, let's face it, was bound to happen sooner or later. "See? Blue."

"Oh, come on, that was blonde." I got up too and reached for his shirt, but he giggled and ducked away from me. Aw, he giggled. Now if I could just get that damn shirt off him... "No, come on, let me look properly..."

"I'll scream rape, Axel, I swear!" he laughed, as I wrapped my arms around him and started pulling at his shirt. "This is terrible, you know that? We're in a hospital, in the children's ward no less, and you're trying to get me naked."

"I knew you were lying, you're a natural blonde and that's why you're so slow." But it's fine, you can be as slow as you like, I'll go your speed... "And really, blue?"

"Well, have you seen Marluxia's hair?"

I snorted. "Because that's so damn natural."

He shrugged, still in my arms. God, but these jeans were uncomfortable. "Vexen says it is."

"EW!" I let go of him then, only because I was going to end up molesting him otherwise. "So... I'll see you Saturday?"

"Well, we still have, you know, school and shit, so I'll see you before then..." Hilarious how I had just been making fun of him for being blonde, and now I was doing it. And I was a redhead so I had no excuse. "But yeah. Looking forward to doing your homework for you, you lazy fuck." I'm not a lazy fuck, Roxas, I swear, I'm really quite active in that department. "And ice cream."

"Cool."

So I was totally going to spit out my feelings for him this weekend. And then I could tell Henna all about it and she and Mr Bunny could be bridesmaids at my wedding.

Happy endings for all, right?

It's just... impossible

I fell into bed at almost midnight that night, exhausted from the panic attack in the hospital, and took a deep breath. I should probably get changed into some pyjamas or some shit...

Or you know, just throw off my T-shirt and trousers and sleep in my underwear. That worked too.

"Fuck, I'm tired," I muttered to myself. I could hear my parents' voices downstairs, low and worried and using my name far too often. "Ugh..."

Hang on.

I swear that shadow outside my window was human.

And I swear that I could hear someone swearing.

"It's just your imagination," I told myself firmly. "Go the fuck to sleep."

Okay, that really sounded like the noise that a camera makes when it's turned on.

I sat up and grabbed my baseball bat, just in case. (I don't even play baseball, but Dad was all "You should at least own a bat" and I was all "Dad, I'm gay, buy me a Jonas Brothers album instead" and in the end he bought me both the bat and the CD.) I curled up in bed, my baseball bat tucked under my arm, and took out my cellphone. "Right... who can I call at nearly midnight?"

The logical choice was Hayner. He was still waiting on an answer about the whole relationship thing, but that didn't mean he wouldn't want to talk to me.

"Hey, Hayner."

"Hayner isn't here right now," said a very young male voice. "Dis is his lickle brother Kieran. D'you wan' me to take a message?"

Aw, he was adorable. I had never encountered Kieran before. "Um, sure, just tell him to call me if he gets a chance tonight."

"Okay. Is dere anyfing else I can do for you, sir?" Oh my God, he was so cute. I wanted kids like that when I grew up. I'd have to adopt, being incredibly homosexual and everything, but you know, they would still be my kids.

"No thanks, Kieran. I'll see you around, all right?"

"Okay den. Goodbye, mister. Have a good evenin'." He hung up and I sighed. Well, that was adorable, but it didn't really help me that much.

I guess I could call Axel. He probably wouldn't mind me interrupting his beauty sleep. And if he did mind, well, he would mind a lot, because he is not a mild person. It wasn't like he needed any more beauty sleep, anyway.

...Erm... forget I said that.

"Hey, Axel."

"Oh! Oh, um... hi, Roxas! Um... everything okay?"

I sighed. "Not exactly. I think there's someone outside my house. I'm probably just being paranoid, but you know..."

"Oh, don't worry about – shit! Fuck, that hurt!"

"What hurt?" I asked.

"Um, nothing, just... just the corner of my coffee table." One of the trees outside was rustling like crazy. I tightened my grip on my baseball bat and took a deep breath. "Anyway. Don't worry about anything, you're just really tired. If you need to, you can come round my place, yeah? Or I'll come to yours and keep you safe."

I smiled. "That's really sweet of you, Axel, but see, the thing is... I haven't slept in my own house in what feels like forever, and I kind of miss it, you know?"

I decided I was too warm under my duvet and kicked it off, just sitting there in my underwear on the phone to Axel, as you do. "Yeah, I know," he said quietly. Was I being really weird, or was his breathing really heavy right now? Maybe I had the volume on my cellphone too high. "Everything's really shit for you, huh?"

"Yeah, it is. It's not great for you either, is it?" He was silent. "Axel, I know how lonely you must be. Your parents always gone and nobody but me and Demyx that you actually hang out with... doesn't it ever get to you?"

"Yeah," he said quietly, "it does."

"You need someone else. What about the guy you like?" I still wasn't convinced that it wasn't Demyx. "Do you ever talk to him, or are you just kind of admiring him from afar?"

Axel hissed – I think he was in pain – and then attempted to answer my question in a completely normal voice. "Um, a bit of both, I suppose." The rustling outside my window got even louder and I swallowed nervously. "Are you okay, Roxas?"

"Yeah, I am," I lied. It would be one thing if Naminé were in here with me, because she was always the level-headed one and I was always the drama queen. "Are you?"

"Eh, I've been more comfortable than this, but you know... I've got a pretty nice view."

"Where are you, anyway?" I half-laughed, settling down a little.

"Uh, I'm on my balcony. Like I said, really uncomfortable, but..."

"Are you lying? You kinda sound like you're lying." I reached over and grabbed some of Nami's moisturiser for the dry skin on my elbows. She had recommended it to me about a month ago and my life had just been too damn hectic to apply a dab of moisturising cream.

"No, no, Roxas, I'd never lie to you, I swear," he said earnestly. For a second there was some kind of a shadow cast through my curtains that looked weirdly human, not for the first time that night, and I froze completely, taking deep breaths through my nose and clinging to the baseball bat like it was going to save me all on its own. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"Uh-huh," I squeaked. "Um... I should go now."

"Okay, Roxas, sleep well."

"Night, Axel." I snapped my phone shut and tossed it onto the small pile of dirty laundry next to my bed, then wriggled my way under the covers.

I was just starting to drift off when there was a knock on my door. "Hnng?" I said by way of greeting, as my mother breezed in with a glass of water in her hand. "Oh... hey, Mom."

"Hello, sweetheart. Were you asleep?"

I shook my head. "Nah, I was just starting to –"

"Erm, why are you sleeping with a baseball bat?" she asked, perching on the edge of my bed as I struggled to sit up.

"Oh, I thought there was someone outside. Gotta be safe, right?"

She sighed. "Well, why didn't you come and get me or your dad?"

"Because I didn't wanna bother you," I muttered, taking the drink she handed me and sucking it down straight away, not even caring when icy water dripped onto my chest. Of course, my mother would notice I'm thirsty before I notice. "Is everything okay at the moment?"

"As okay as it can be under the circumstances, yes," Mom said, taking the empty glass from my hands and wiping my mouth with her sleeve like I was still seven. "We're really proud of you, Roxas. Not many kids would be working this hard for their little sister."

"Well, you know... Naminé always felt like my only friend, you know? Like, I had other people around, but she was the only one who really got to know me. Everyone else was just focused on me being pretty or smart or whatever, but Naminé really cared about me as a person, you know?"

"Yeah, sweetie, I know. Do you have any real friends now?" Mom frowned slightly as she tucked me back into bed, probably noticing the bruise on my left shoulder that I was convinced had something to do with Hayner.

"Well, there's this one guy, Axel..."

"Oh? A guy?" Mom smirked slightly at that and I blushed. "What's he like?"

"Oh, come on, Mom, I don't like him like that. He's nice enough. Really weird sometimes, and cocky as hell, but incredibly nice to me. And really supportive about Nami and he always pays for my ice cream –"

"And you're sure you don't like him?" Honestly, my mother is such a... such a girl sometimes. "Okay, baby, you get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning, all right?"

"Yeah. Night, Mommy."

"Night, Roxas." She left, shutting the door very quietly behind her, and I fell asleep in seconds, my arms still wrapped tightly around my baseball bat.

xxx

I'm tired. Listening to soundtracks of things like Starship and A Very Potter Musical and Mulan and Hercules, eating rainbow cake, and nearly asleep. So here's a chapter for you guys, and I apologise if it's shit, but I'm exhausted.

Go and read my oneshots. I don't know whether or not I've mentioned this before, but I wrote a XigDem one entitled Cheesecake for breakfast and a MarVex one called Differences. Please please please read them, I need to know whether you want me to keep doing oneshots or whether you want all of my attention and energy to go onto my bigger fics.

Hey, why don't you try out the nice shiny new review box? It's really fun, honest ;D