|An Imp's Secret
Author: Azure Ki PM
Another dread of boredom equals A 'Cruelty to Imps Policy' and The reason why no keeper leaves salmanders in the casino unattended. Enjoy R&R!Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,417 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11-07-02 - Published: 05-24-02 - id: 794517
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Sasha: WHAT THE F! Another chapter of this stupidity! WHITETIGEREYE!
Twilight Tiger: Shut up, Sasha. . .. or I'll write you in a tutu.
Sasha: *growls* Fine
Twilight Tiger: Good. . .and it's Twilight Tiger, btw.
Twilight Tiger: Heh. By the way, kiddies, the things ~ ~ describes what images at that moment.
An Imp's Secret ~ Part 2: Home videos? Kewlies!
What's up man. . . You must be pissed to say that.
If you going to say to the word, just say it will ya!
Sorry, I'm not interested!
No, behind you. Elf!
*Sound of screaming and arrows flying *
Andante: Sorry about that, man. Tried to warn you.
Cascus: *pulls the arrow out of his—ah, well. . .* Sorry! I got some elf's arrow stuck up my ass and all you got to say for it is that "You're sorry"
Andante: Are we alone?
Cascus: I think so . . . Payday is not until a few more hours.
Andante: Then, what are you waiting for. . .
Cascus:* uncovers the box and opens it.* What's this thingy?
*Cascus fiddled with crystal-like ball until it slips out of his hands*
Andante: * snatches the orb away before it hits the ground* Get me that you clumsy dimwit! It's memory ball.
Cascus: A memory what?
Andante: A memory ball! You see them stock on the library shelf. . .Don't you go to library sometimes?
Andante: *Slaps his hand on his head and thinks: I need ask Sasha if she missing her idiot! * Warlocks used them to record experiments.
Cascus: What experiments?
*The orb begins to grow*
Andante: I don't know . . . but I think we are about to find out.
Andante: Just watch my amigo. Just watch.
**Blurred image of the library***
Warlock: A few of more adjustments and. . . ~The image sharpens~ There, perfect. How are you faring, my little magical friend?
~Moves to an imp tied to a chair~
Jael: I'm great . . .but you are sure you want to do this? Sasha had me passing this abuse policy I think you should read.
Warlock: What policy?
Jael: It's in my bag.
Warlock: arrrghh. Alright. *reads*
Attention: To all creatures . . .
If, you think I haven't noticed that some my imps have turned up missing, than you are dreadfully mistaken. If I find the person who's been kidnapping my workers during gold rush hour, expect a--
Warlock:*crumbles the paper and throws it away* Blah! You think she going to back-up that threat, than you're—
Sasha: smarter than I thought.
Warlock: *nervously* Oh, hello . . . my liege.
~Smoke clouds up the image. It cleared with Jael freed and his face in front of the orb~
Jael: I wonder what should I do with this.
Sasha: Here an idea. . .Why that you record what happened to your friendly host?
Sasha: The Hatchery. . .there is quite a show going on there.
~Hatchery with various creatures in a circle. A bile demon chasing a chicken around the circle *Andante* ~
Andante: Damn! What that chicken been eatin' Rocket fuel?!
Jael: Uhh. . .I don't think that one was actually a chicken until a few minutes ago.
Andante: What? Ohh. . .so that why she keeps that spell around.
Human Warlock: I told him that today would not be a good time to playing 'doctor'.
'Chickened' Warlock: (If he says that 'I told you. . .')
~A bile demon make jump for it, but misses. He falls flat on his face—A moment later a loud toot was heard for his rear O.o~
Phleg: Sweet Jesus!
Warlock (human): That isn't something a dark angel should say.
Phleg: What the hell do you know!
Warlock (human): Much better.
Phleg: *growls and runs*
~Everyone is running from the set-off death gas canister~
***At the dungeon's heart, Sasha's mana compressed into a human-form in front of a spectators of imps***
~Sasha's human form in front of the heart~
Sasha: It's good to be—Jael! Turn that damn thing off!
Jael: Yes, mistress. *Instead set its on the ground* ~showing the floor and everyone's feet~
Sasha: Why so nervous? Or may it because you all forgot to put the secret door at the casino's breach.
Imps: Uh oh.
Andante: What the big deal—Sasha turn to him fiercely *laughs nervously*
Sasha: *frowns* It's too late, now.
Jael: *picks up the camera and runs out* ~images of rushing though the hallways and stops at the casino~ "WTF!"
~Salamanders occupied the areas around the beer kegs with wood flasks in their claws. Some of the tables were burned—Don't ask why. One of them is standing on the Craps table leading a song—Yes, they were singing~
(Since salamander can't speak proper English, I'm turning on the offical 'Understanding Salmander for Dummies' Translator—Hey! I paid good money for it, 50 cents—Ah Damnit!)1
(Solo) Came through with the top down, blazin'
Borrowed the mistress's whip, but not killin'
(All together) My scaly baby walked up to me
Hottest thing you ever wanna see
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
(Solo) Shorty lookin' kinda right
Satisfy my appetite, mmm
Baby you know my steelo
Gotta get wit you on the *hiss*-Low
I came out the door flamin' (Damn humans!)
(All together) Handlin' the hissly business
Nothin' personal baby
Ain't tryin' to be shady
That's just the way it goes
~The song continues and the salamander falls off the table. Turns Andante and a mass of other creatures that were standing there. They were O.o~
Andante: What the f—
Jael: *smiles* They're drunk.
Caucus: *laughing manically*
Andante: Hey! Here's comes another.
~Sasha's human form. Her eyes flaming red~
Sasha: If your mana-wasting carcass don't get back to work!
Andante: GONE! *Teleports out*
Caucus: What are you running—
Andante: *returns and snatches Caucus* You're a death wish waiting to happen, you know that! *Teleports*
1 The song was a modified version from Dave Hollister's "Came In The Door, Pimpin', so I'm not taking any credit for it.
I will explain about Sasha human form in my serious fic when I get around it finishing it. See ya!