Johnny Bravo meets Grayson Hunt

Chapter 1

He sat at a booth inside of the local bar, wondering how he had ended up alone yet again, after a tiresome night of speed dating. He looked at the reflection in the bottom of his empty pint glass. Staring back at him were those piercing black shades, a chiseled square jaw and a towering, blond quiff of gelled hair, that combined made the very image of who we know as the one, the only, Johnny Bravo. The only smooth talker to smooth talk his way into getting judo flipped by 14 different women, 23 different times in under 10 minutes. To work out those statistics would be hellish hard work. But why did women refuse to be with him? He was kind, loyal, handsome, smooth and knew how to talk to women. Yet, any women he approached would usually proceed to use violence against him. Johnny looked up, his face glum and his shoulders pulling downward. His eyes narrowed as he saw the town's newcomer. He was arrogant, rowdy, dirty, disheveled and had no respect for anyone other than himself. His name was Grayson Hunt, and he had come to town seeking refuge from the 'Confederates' whoever the hell they were. Johnny despised this man. Usually, this kind of guy wouldn't worry Johnny in the slightest, but there was a reason other than his disgusting personality: He was a bomb with the ladies. Although Grayson wasn't all that interested in the women around him, and paid more attention to drowning his sorrow in the special 'Nom Juice' cocktails he had the bartender whip up for him, this didn't stop the ladies from all swooning over Grayson. Johnny could not for the life of him see what any women would want with a pig like THAT. He remembered what his mama was always saying to him 'Girls like jerks, Johnny. Sorry, but that's just the way it is!' Johnny was growing fed up of his own miserable attitude, and decided to drink it away. He slowly stood up, and made his way across to the bar.

"Hey, my main man!" Johnny hailed the bartender; "How 'bout you fix me up one o' those fancy Nom juice things ya got goin' on with scruffy mcwolf face over here!" Johnny chuckled, so as not to show his offensive intent to this potentially dangerous drunkard.
"Hey," Grayson responded. "You sure you can handle one of these, Presley?" His voice was deep and scratchy, his vocal cords had obviously been ground through a hell of a lot of yelling.
"Are you kidding me? I can put away the stuff like a cleaner can put away dishes!" Grayson chuckled to himself.
"That was a terrible analogy, ya dumbass. Let's see what you make of it!"

The bartender slammed a glass down on the table, filled with a clear, shiny liquid that had a bluish sheen to it. Without a second thought, Johnny necked back the concoction, and let it slide down his throat. Immediately his vision began to blur. He vomited, as the viscous liquid began to burn his throat intensely. Grayson let out a hearty laugh, and he slapped Johnny on the back.
"Y'all just got your cherry popped, Dick-tits!" Grey cried out, wiping away tears of laughter. "Maybe next time you can learn to be a man first!" Grayson slowly calmed down, and eventually said "Anyway, kiddo, infamous space pirate Grayson Hunt, at your service! Y'all can come back to take the challenge again any time you'd like!" He extended his hand to Johnny. Johnny, covered in vomit and Nom juice, grasped Grayson's with a bile covered hand, before taking off to run for the toilets.

Not sure when I'll finish this, I wrote this to fulfill a joke I made with a friend. We were listing funny crossovers, and this one I just had to write. Any questions I will be happy to answer at askdubiousdick. tumblr. com (minus the spaces). Thanks for reading! ~Dubious Dick