|Skyward Sword Chaos 101: Episode 1
Author: TheGroosenator PM
First episode of my Series! Groose teaches you how cover up a murder. Will this help you? Please R&R! Anyone who reviews will get a cookie! Not sure what to rate this, so I'll just rate it T.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Groose - Words: 866 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Published: 03-29-12 - Status: Complete - id: 7969463
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Hey guys! Long time no see! I've finally come back from the dead to bring you... wait for it... A NEW STORY! Not just any story: A whole series! I beat Skyward Sword several months ago, and I LOVED it! I love Groose. He was a real asshole at the beginning, but later in the game, he became my favorite character in the whole game. In my new series, All the different characters from Skyward Sword are going to teach you how to do different things! First you will be given a lesson from... GROOSE! Yay! This episode is based on a video on Youtube called How to Cover up a Murder by Smosh. Smosh is awesome. Go check it out. Now then, before I go off into a rant, I will start the fic. Enjoy!
Skyward Sword Chaos: Episode 1: How To Cover Up a Murder
Groose: Hi! My name is Groose! Have you ever murdered someone and wanted to get away with it? I know I have! That's why today, I'm gonna teach you how to cover up a murder! *grabs Link's dead body* Let's go!
Step 1: Make sure the person is actually dead.
Groose: Sometimes, the person you supposedly killed is either sleeping, or really drunk. What you should do is ask them if they're dead. *crouches down next to Link's body* EXCUSE ME! ARE YOU ACTUALLY DEAD?
Link: Almost... please... bring me... a Budweiser...
Groose: *stomps on Link's head* He's dead, alright!
Unexplained voice: GREAT!
Step 2: Tamper with the evidence.
Groose: Now that the person is dead, the time's ticking! Try planting some fake evidence to throw the cops off like: armpit hair, whale cement, or, a balck guy!
Black guy: Say what?
Unexplained voice: WTF?
Step 3: Get rid of the body.
Groose: Now that you've got the fun part out of the way, it's time for the real work. Time to get rid of the body! Throwing it into a river or off a cliff is lame and unoriginal. And Throwing it into a wood chipper is too messy. A few good ways to get rid of a body are: throwing it in front of a car, *throws Link's body in front of an incoming truck.*
Unexplained voice: FATALITY!
Groose: ... Cram it in your oven- unless you're a girl and you actually use that thing. *shoves Link's body into an oven and slams it shut*
Unexplained voice: SEXIST!
Groose: Or, put it in a black guy's car! *Puts Link's body in driver seat of black guy's car. Hides in bushes.*
Black guy: Alright; eggs, milk, cheese, cereal...*opens car door. Sees dead body in his seat* AHHHH!
Unexplained voice: YOU SCREAM LIKE A BITCH!
Step 4: tie up any loose ends.
Groose: If anyone finds out about the murder, take care of them by starting back at Step 1! *turns to face Girahim, Demise, Zelda, Karane, Pipit, Fledge, Fi, and Orielle, who are all wearing party hats* Hey, is it cool if you guys don't mention this murder to anyone?
Groose: Well then, how about we go continue this party in my... party room?
Ghirahim: That sounds like a FABULOUS idea!
Demise: I'm in.
Everyone else: Ok.
Groose: *leads them to disguised Poisonous Gas Chamber* Go right on in. Have Fun. *closes door after everyone else is in and releases poisonus gas into room from outside* MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Unexplained voice: PARTY FOUL!
(optional) Step 5: Frame Someone.
Groose: you can also try framing someone! It can be an annoying classmate, your best friend, or... a black guy!
Black Guy: *begins to get Link's body out of the car*
Policeman: Stop! *aims pistol at Black Guy*
Black Guy: AHHHH!
Unexplained voice: SLAMMER TIME!
Step 5: Turn yourself in.
Groose: If none of these steps work, you may have to face the consequences of your actions and turn yourself in. *Starts dragging Link's dead body to the cop station*
Policeman: Stop right there! *randomly appears and seemingly aims pistol at Groose* I knew all along that you were the killer! It's kids like you that make this world a terrible place! Don't you know that killing is never the answer? You should face up to the consequences of your poor decision!
Groose: Okay... I admit it... I killed him.
Policeman: BULLSH*T! *starts firing pistol*
Groose: *confused why he's not getting hit and turns around to see Black Guy getting shot repeatedly*
Black Guy: *screams as he gets repeatedly shot over and over again. Finally drops dead after 10 minutes*
Policeman: *Walks up to Groose* It's okay. You're safe now. I got that killer off the streets for good!
Unexplained voice: RACIST DOUCHEBAG!
WHOO! Finally done with the first episode! Please leave any suggestions for the next episode in a review! Do it, and I'll give you a cookie!
Note: Next episode will be posted as a whole new story.
Note 2: Be on the lookout for my next actual story. It will be a good one. And a long one.