Author: SSLE PM
What if Gordianus had decided to denounce Rufus Messalla's feelings? Based in Roman BloodRated: Fiction T - English - Drama - M. T. Cicero & Gordianus - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,070 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 04-01-12 - Published: 03-31-12 - id: 7974455
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
The night was warm and the moon high in the roman sky when they returned to Capitoline. Rufus arrived practically at the same time as they did and asked them with worry in his eyes why was Tiro hurt. They explained him the situation briefly as they hurried inside the house and sent a slave to wake Cicero. In the meanwhile, they placed Tiro on the settee and Rufus crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking thoughtful.
Falling into a curule chair near Tiro, Gordianus observed the young nobleman. First he thought that perhaps he had drunk a little too much. But then considering it, he realized that it had to do with the kiss he had given the girl. Could it be that the boy had felt something at the kiss and was starting to forget about Cicero? He sincerely hoped so.
"Are you alright?"
He turned to face him "Yes" He answered noncommittally "Why wouldn't I be?"
Gordianus smirked "Well…I saw you kissed the girl…"
"Don't even go there Gordianus"
"I wasn't saying…" The Finder tried to excuse himself realizing that he and young Rufus weren't close enough for him to make that sort of comments
"I know what you were saying but please don't. I did what I had to do. I closed my eyes and thought about Cicero"
Gordianus's face became more serious. "Well but you did kiss the girl…"
He was obviously going to continue that sentence but on that moment Cicero came in, with a rugged half opened tunic. He had obviously been sleeping, his thinning hair was spiky, going up to every possible side.
There was an awkward moment of silence when they all merely stared at each other, Gordianus refusing to face Rufus and this one blushing deeply. The lawyer ignored them however and hurriedly knelled by his slave's side all the anger he had been feeling towards Tiro dissipating on that moment. He attempted even to soothe his pain while asking him some quiet questions. Then he sent another slave to call the physician and ordered them to take Tiro to his room.
After this, he returned to the library where Gordianus and Rufus were expecting him. Cicero wasn't happy. "These adventures are to end. Tiro was wounded, you infiltrated a house where Sulla himself was, Rufus could have been in danger, you could have been killed…you could have been accusing of attempting to kill Sulla!" he said pointing to the Finder. "I know it was I who put you up to this…and I think I now lament it more than ever. I'm sorry Gordianus but your work is done"
Gordianus was too tired to argue and obviously Cicero was too. The man was almost falling asleep on the spot. He supported himself against the desk and waited for them to say something. When they didn't, he shot a look at Rufus "Who did you kiss, Rufus? I hope the work I assign you is not forcing you to take any unpleasant actions"
Rufus's blush got even deeper and Gordianus felt sorry for him; once again he had put the young man in a terrible situation. "I…"
"He did it save us." Gordianus said very quickly. "He kissed one of the slave girls…in order to distract some men who were about to find us where we shouldn't be"
Cicero raised his eyebrows "I see. I hope you are all alright" Was there a tone of coldness in his voice or was Gordianus imagining it? Rufus however just nodded. Gordianus then felt he should leave. He needed to see where Bethesda was. Muttering something to Cicero who was also getting ready to leave, but was interrupted by Rufus who whispered in the second Gordianus left the room.
Cicero's eyes widened slightly. "Yes?"
Rufus sighed deeply. There was it was that knot on his chest again "I am sorry, I should not have brought Gordianus and Tiro to Chrysogonus's."
Cicero made an effort not to yawn and approached the boy "You were very imprudent yes."
"Your slave, if he is wounded I can buy you…"
But Cicero's raised eyebrow made Rufus stop talking immediately. "You know perfectly well that Tiro is not only a slave."
Rufus lowered his eyes and felt a tinge of jealousy. "I worry because it was I who put you all in this situation..." He muttered and elaborated "We are here because we want to…"
"No" Cicero corrected "You are here because you want to. Gordianus is here because I hired him and Tiro because he has no other choice."
Rufus was in silence. Cicero seemed to take hold of himself and sat next to the boy in the triclinium. "But you must forgive me my dear Rufus, I'm sleepy and tired."
"You haven't been sleeping"
"I don't sleep often"
Rufus wanted so badly to say that he would like to make him have a good night sleep. How would be Cicero when he slept? Closing his eyes he pushed these thoughts away from his mind before he did something he might regret. But still Cicero was there sitting next to him and his tuning was half opened. Rufus found himself staring at the man's chest. There was no hair on his chest and he wasn't as thin as one might have thought.
Unfortunately for Rufus, the lawyer caught his eye which provoked another wave of heating spreading through his cheeks. But Cicero's reaction was odd in the least. He merely sighed and leaned back as if he was now completely awoken. "Oh Rufus…"
This sigh alarmed the boy who stared at Cicero "What…?"
Then he proceeded to rub his eyes in a typically theatrical gesture. "You are playing with fire, Rufus." He said quietly. "You really are. I wonder what I am feeding…"
"What do you mean?" Rufus's voice was filled with dread
Cicero shot him a look that asked him not to play coy "I'm not an idiot…though you and Gordianus are awfully flagrant."
"You heard me" Rufus whispered in horror
"And Gordianus told me remember? I would expect you both to have more consideration for my intelligence." He snorted "Do you think I would let something like that pass on?"
Rufus felt humiliated. "You shouldn't say those things" He said making an effort to speak clearly. His voice however, was bargained with emotion.
Cicero's expression softened. "You shouldn't feel those things"
Rufus stood gathering his wits "It may well be but you should remember who I am." A patrician he meant "I get it. You don't feel the same as I do…! Of course you don't!" His pitch of voice got higher "The brilliant young lawyer who only cares about himself and his client and no one else. These matters are beyond your comprehension aren't they?"
Cicero was a little taken back by his sudden outburst of anger but Rufus pressed on "I have tried to keep it hidden but oh I am so sorry if this secret disturbed you so!"
Finally, Cicero stood as well "Stop it, Rufus. Stop acting like a child."
"Well but that's what I am for you, isn't it?"
"When did I ever say that?" Cicero asked then sounding a little angry for the first time "You never heard those words from my mouth"
Rufus took a deep breath. "You are right. You never said so. You really never said anything did you?" There was a moment of silence. "Tomorrow I shall leave your house and leave your service"
He was about to turn around when he heard the lawyer saying "You don't want to hear my answer?"
Rufus turned to him surprised "What…what do you mean?" He asked almost huskily
Cicero sighed for what it seemed the hundredth time. "Rufus...you are sixteen. You are barely a man…"
"I am a citizen already!"
"I am…older than you. And furthermore…"
"You are making excuses" Rufus said approaching the lawyer, though he didn't sound angry now. No, he sounded intrigued.
"I am not" Cicero claimed firmly. "But you must understand how unsuitable these feelings are. Not to mention that Sulla…"
"Don't speak about that" Rufus warned and Cicero smiled. He had touched a soft spot and he knew it. "I don't know why you're smiling, Cicero" The boy started to say "You never enjoyed the idea that Sulla wanted me…I remember you reaction at Caecilia's house when she mentioned that I could offer my…services to Sulla"
The lawyer's expression became more serious. "I don't know what you're implying. I did not think it would be proper for you to do such a thing. I would not want to be hold responsible for that"
Rufus was silent not knowing what to say. "What is your answer then?"
"This, what I'm telling you. It's not wise to feel what you feel."
"It's not abnormal as you think! It's not like you think!"
Cicero threw his hands to the air "What I think does not matter, Rufus" He began to say.
There was a long silence between them. Cicero made an effort again not to yawn. He felt suddenly very tired as if he had realized how late it was, how difficult this conversation was. "I need to sleep. I trust you will still be here tomorrow. I cannot afford to lose you and honestly I wouldn't want to either. Think well about what you want and don't let your...sentiments cloud your judgement" He ended up saying. "Good night"
Cicero walked towards the door and prepared to open it. Only then there was a hand on the door which closed it again. It was Rufus: the boy placed himself between Cicero and the door. The lawyer looked confused for a moment but didn't have time to dwell on this action for much long because Rufus reached to his face and crashed his lips with his.
The man brilliant as he was felt his brain shut down as the boy's tongue was introduced into his mouth. He had a sweet taste, a taste of wine and apples. At the same time, Rufus's hands got to his thinning hair and to the back of his neck. That was always a sensible spot and Cicero found himself moaning. Hands and rapid breathes rushed. And breathless.
Too breathless, Cicero thought and he broke the kiss. "No" He whispered huskily, begging for air but Rufus didn't let him answer and in a natural youth's ardour, kissed him again. He gave in eventually and after a few minutes it was Rufus who broke the contact. Cicero reopened his eyes and immediately evaluated the expression of the other man. Boy.
There was a euphoria mixed with happiness mixed with desire. And it scared Cicero. "This is not a good idea" He then whispered.
Rufus showed him a pained look "Please don't, Marcus…"
But Marcus as he was called placed his hands on Rufus's and gently pulled them away from his face. "Rufus…you are…not…we cannot…"
"For every possible reason."
"Because I'm a man?"
"Because you're a young man. Because I'm a man. Because Sulla wants you. Because I don't do boys"
"Then don't think of me…you want me, I can see that in your eyes…in your kiss" And he moved to place little kisses in Cicero's mouth.
"Stop…" But Rufus didn't let him speak. Whirling him around, he crushed Cicero against the door and pressed against him. And a blush attacked Cicero's face as Rufus pulled away and stared at him straight in the eyes. Rufus smirked. Suddenly, he was in control. Cicero's desire was evident against his own pelvis.
"You want me" Rufus stated triumphantly.
Cicero looked away. He wanted to deny but Rufus had quite daringly started to caress his neck and the way to his chest and he suddenly forgot again how to breathe. Rufus's daring lips travelled to his neck and sucked the skin. Cicero winced knowing that in the morning there would be a mark there.
He had to do something. To react. Something. Anything. But instead, he simply kissed back even harder his hands on Rufus's hips. "We should go to somewhere…more private" He spoke up almost with a kiss. Cicero's mind was a fog and that was the only explanation he could give for having nodded in agreement. The corridors of the lawyer's house were deserted; it was too late, everyone was sleeping, including the slaves. He and Rufus headed as quietly as they could to Cicero's room. Rufus closed the door behind him which alarmed Cicero to the enormity of what they were doing.
The boy extended his hand and Cicero hesitantly took it. Rufus approached the older man and kissed him wrapping his arms around his neck pulling him closer. Rufus pushed Cicero further and he ended up falling on the bed with the boy above him. He started to chuckle at Cicero's surprised expression. "Rufus…" Cicero whispered and there was a rebuke on his voice again. "We shouldn't be doing this"
Rufus raised an eyebrow "Then I shall leave" And as Cicero didn't answer Rufus Messala stood and turned his back to the bed but in the last moment a hand grabbed his wrist and pulled him back and Rufus fell on the mattress with a thump. He laughed and the lawyer even smiled a little. Rufus came closer to Cicero then, caressing the side of his face for they were both lying on their side facing each other. Rufus saw the touch of grey in Marcus Tullius's blue eyes. And maybe because he saw the sincerity of the boy's feelings, this time was Cicero who pulled him closer and kissed him.
On that moment Rufus thought that he didn't know it was possible to be this happy. What he had most wanted in his whole life was finally coming true. Marcus Tullius Cicero was kissing him. This time the kiss was only interrupted because Cicero yawned which provoked another wave of laughing from the young man.
Cicero blushed. "I'm sorry, Rufus…I fear I'm too tired…"
"You are" Rufus raised a playful eyebrow "I'm not"
"What?" But Rufus merely kissed him again as his lips descended upon his neck while his hand opened Cicero's tunic. Soon his lips were gracing Cicero's chest licking his way down. The lawyer made an attempt to relax knowing somehow what was about to follow. He was torn between arousal and tiredness, but the arousal definitely won when he felt Rufus's hand caressing between his legs. He was now fully awake.
"Rufus" he breathed out. And then in. And gasped when Rufus Messala's lips touched his manhood. Tentatively at first, Rufus was encouraged by the small howls that escaped Cicero's lips and took him all in with an expertise that surprised the lawyer. However, once more Cicero didn't have time to dwell on this as his hand unconsciously found Rufus's soft hair. This made the younger man go faster and faster and soon Cicero came undone as it was usual among man who hadn't been placed in such situation for a long time.
It took the boy a few seconds before he let go and face Cicero who was flushed and slightly breathless. Rufus offered him a smile and the man smiled back. Rufus felt Cicero's body softening against his and his eyelids closing. Slowly he pulled the covers up as he covered them both. The lawyer wrapped his arms around Rufus who nibbled at his neck. "I should…" Cicero muttered "Do something." Rufus raised an eyebrow amused "To you" he elaborated with great effort.
"Marcus, you can't even open your eyes properly" It was the answer accompanied with a low chuckle. Rufus caressed the other man's line of hair placing a kiss on his brow and Cicero closed the remaining distance between them, searching for warm.
If anyone is reading this I hope you're enjoying it.