Chapter Seven

So Rachel continued to come back every Monday visiting Blaine so often that the man at the front desk had deducted the cost of staying since she was becoming what he called a 'regular'. The most recent visit, the man had stopped Rachel to ask her, 'What's so good about this particular man? You always come back to him.' But Rachel didn't know what to reply, so she played up her reason on being there, and left the man with a sly wink before heading to Blaine's room.

As usual when Rachel arrived she changed into less dramatic clothing. The both of them had grown accustomed to each other and knew what made the other comfortable. When Rachel changed she joined Blaine on the bed where he was in a pair of boxers and a t-shirt. They never slept together, but a bond had grown between them that sometimes all they wanted to do was lay down next to each other.

Rachel had snuggled up against Blaine's chin, resting her head on his shoulder when she asked an abnormal question. "Blaine? How many women have you slept with?" It was in Rachel's Capitol blood to be blunt, and there was a silence while Blaine reminded him of that and thought his answer over. "34." He said confidently. "And most of them come back."

"Do you regret all of them?"

"No," Blaine said softly. "Not all… I used to love one of them."

"What happened to her?" Rachel felt Blaine's body tense beneath her, and she listened hard to his struggling breath before he answered, "She died."

"How?" Rachel wondered and she was shocked when she felt Blaine's hand move from around her, "You know how," He said quietly before rolling over so his back was turned.

Rachel didn't move for a moment, and when she reached out to touch Blaine's shoulder, he flinched away from her. "Blaine…" She said, propping herself up on to bed facing him. He had his chin to his chest, but even though his eyes were closed, Rachel knew he wasn't asleep. She sighed, and pulled back from him. "Maybe I'll see you next Monday," Though she said the words both Rachel and Blaine knew she wouldn't be returning.

Rachel slipped off the side of the bed, pausing on the edge before she began to push herself up. She didn't even notice Blaine had rolled back over until she felt his hand wrap around her wrist.

Rachel went to look over her shoulder but instead she let her head drop, and tears began to stream down her face. "I-I didn't know," Rachel said softly, thinking about the girl who had died in the Games and how Blaine had completely dropped everything to run over to her. "I should've but I didn't… The way you looked at her, every look and touch, it all makes sense now. You've lost everything Blaine, and I can't imagine that… It's impossible to me."

Blaine sat up on his knees behind Rachel, holding her hand. "Have you ever loved someone?"

The immediate answer in Rachel's head was 'no', she had never been that infatuated by someone to just drop everything for them even if it meant her life, but the pounding of her heart drowned out those thoughts as she felt the skin of Blaine's hand against hers grow hotter. Here she was, risking her families position in the Capitol just to come see a boy once a week, a boy she had begged and pleaded with her fathers to let her help so he would have the chance to live again. A boy she had sought out, months after her disappeared from her television, but why?

"I can't answer that," Rachel said, and as much it hurt, she tore her hand away from his. "You've been with the person you love; the thing with me is I can't be."

"Why not?" Blaine asked.

"Because you and me could never work!" Rachel blurted. Blaine grew silent, and her breaths grew heavy. "I don't know, but I think I might love you. I can't convince myself otherwise now, because all I can remember from the 73rd Hunger Games is 'He needs to win', 'He needs to live', and I don't know if that's love or not but it means something to me. Something deep and it's obvious you aren't over that girl, and I don't blame you because now I understand all of your hurt and sorrow." Rachel took a deep breath, trying to motivate her body to stop producing tears. "I should go. I should go and finally forget about you, and you should forget about me. I'm only hurting myself coming here every week and now that I was stupid and told you what I've been thinking it's hurting you, and now it'll only hurt you more if we continue to see each other like this."

She stood and rushed to the door, forgetting about her clothes and everything else as she reached for the doorknob. Her hand never made it when she felt Blaine behind her again, gripping her shoulders and trapping her body in between his and the door. "Don't go," He whispered, his breath tickled the edge of Rachel's lips, and the tears began again. "I can't stay," She said, closing her eyes tightly. "I can't."

There was a moment of silence after that, but Rachel knew he didn't pull away because she felt him even closer now. She opened her eyes and found his; those dark green eyes which now looked lighter behind a sheen of tears. Blaine stopped inches away from her, and flicked his eyes across hers, searching for an answer. When Rachel gave none, he leaned in and kissed her.

Rachel's mouth fell open beneath Blaine's, shocked that they felt and tasted as amazing as she had thought they would. He stepped closer now, pushing her body against the door with his own, and she spread her legs to make room for him, and she felt one of his own step in-between hers. Blaine's one hand wrapped around the back of her neck, pulling her mouth tighter against his lips and she kissed him back, arching her chest into his.

Rachel made the move to put her hand on his hip when it brushed against something, and curiously she grabbed it. It was small, round, and brass, and that's when she realized it was the doorknob. Immediately, Rachel pulled away. She didn't need to look at Blaine to see the disappointment on his face. "I'm sorry," She said, avoiding his eyes. Gently, she shoved Blaine away, and opened the door.

Rachel left without looking back.