Author: Bittersweet x PM
"I - I have to go." Elphaba ponders what it would be to be popular, reflects on how she never will be, and does NOT like Fiyero! Set right after Popular; no relevance to the book.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Elphaba T. - Words: 943 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 04-07-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8000696
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
I don't really know why I did this, but I did, so there ya go I guess. It's set in between "Popular" and "I'm Not That Girl", just after Popular. Completely musical-verse. Enjoy. I don't own Wicked.
"I – I have to go," Elphaba stammered, getting to her feet. She needed to get away from here, she needed to run. This was wrong, all of it. She ran out of the room.
"Well, you're welcome!" came Galinda's tinkling voice as she slammed the door. She rolled her eyes, shook her head, and then leaned against the wall outside her dorm a moment, breathing hard.
She wasn't sure why she'd gotten so worked up – she wasn't sure why she was so worked up. She needed to go somewhere calm, somewhere quiet, somewhere far away from all the nights' events.
The library, she decided. And, with a certain amount of trepidation – she hoped Madam Morrible wouldn't catch her up, she wasn't in the mood to be told about how terrible her choice to include Galinda in the sorcery program was – she set off to that very place.
It had only been a few days here at Shiz Academy, but Elphaba had already spent a ridiculous amount of time in the library. She loved libraries, in general – she loved them probably more than she loved books. It was so easy to dissolve into a library, to hide between the shelves or the pages. To be someone else. Someone who, for instance, was not the color of a plant.
She collapsed into her favorite armchair, and there, surrounded by thick tomes, she managed to catch her breath a little.
Maybe it was just the idea of Galinda trying to make her popular.
That was, of course, ridiculous. She was green – green – a bright, leafy green. And that was never going to change. Her father had tried almost everything, and she'd tried what he hadn't. Lotions, doctors, bathing for days on end, not bathing for days on end, fasting, doing nothing but eating. Nothing worked.
And she had also long realized that there was no actual place for green people in Oz. Well – there was the Emerald City, but she lived nowhere near there, and she probably would never get to go either.
Well – no, that wasn't quite true. A small perk of happiness felt in her when she remembered Madam Morrible's words. Why I do predict the wizard would make you – his magic, grand vizier!
So – perhaps she could be that. A grand vizier. A grand wizard.
But that wouldn't be for years. She wouldn't be remotely popular until then. And there was no point – absolutely none! - in even thinking about it.
And as for her being beautiful..her insides contracted. That was what had made her panic and run, and she tried valiantly to sort out why.
Well, she reasoned with herself, maybe it's that I'm not beautiful. At all. And I never will be. And Galinda saying something like that.. she sighed and shook her head. It was stupid, it was ridiculous, and Galinda knew it. And her, trying to make her feel better about the fact that she was an ugly stalk of asparagus, was basically stupid.
Oh, what did she care anyway? She didn't want to look beautiful. There was no one to look beautiful for. It wasn't like she was looking to impress anyone. The only person she really loved was Nessa, and Nessa didn't really care about whether or not she was pretty. Well, maybe she did, but not properly.
And Fiyero, perked up an evil little voice inside of her.
Elphaba groaned aloud and buried her face in her arms. "No," she said loudly to the empty library. "No, never, not a chance. He's a conceited, arrogant, rich little twoink. And anyway, he's Galinda's. They're going to be married and everything."
She rubbed her hands together, squeezing her eyes tight, hoping for the thousandth time that perhaps when she opened them, they would be a nice pale skin color. Or maybe a darker one – she thought she'd probably enjoy having dark skin. Anything would be better than this stupid damn green.
She opened her eyes and let out a long, sad sigh. She was still green.
"No point, then," she muttered to herself. "No point in..even if I did I mean..there would be no point..liking Fiyero." She sighed again, hopelessly this time, finally opening up to herself. "Because why would he ever like me when he could have Galinda?"
He wouldn't, supplied a cheerful little voice inside of her.
Yes, thank you, she thought. But anyway the point was entirely moot because she didn't like Fiyero – and she never would – because he was arrogant, and conceited, and rich, and stupid, and..
..and exceedingly handsome, and surely he couldn't be all the way conceited, and –
– and she'd made a complete idiot fool of herself tonight, at the stupid dance, when she'd come out in that ridiculous hat, and he was staring at her – but she didn't care, she didn't care.
She. Did. Not. Care.
She sighed and decided she might as well get back to Galinda. Let her have her fun, she thought, trying to get me to be all popular.. and when I get completely rejected, then I can have a good laugh at her.
She laughed at herself then, because of course no one would be laughing at Galinda.