|The Edge of the Nobody
Author: paradii PM
Riku meets a girl, she drives him to hell and back, and leaves his heart running up mountains. But he loves her, somewhere in him he has that feeling. He just hates to admit it. RikuxNaminé. Swearing, possible sexual scenes.Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Angst - Riku & Naminé - Chapters: 5 - Words: 23,714 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 05-25-12 - Published: 04-10-12 - id: 8013078
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: Again, this took a long time. More apologies, but like I said in the last chapter I've been extremely busy lately with school. I tried to work on this as much as I could over the last couple of weeks and finally I got to a point where I just thought 'perfect, I'll end the chapter here' so I did! Also, I've completely lost track of the timeline in this story, so a few of the details are going to be messed up. I won't point them out, but they're there and I'm aware. Thanks a lot for reading this, I love you all.
Reviewer's Section: Thank you Soul of Me (again) and threefourtyeight for reviewing the last chapter! Again, it really makes me inspired to write the next chapter, knowing that at least one person is reading this just makes my day. Re:Soul of Me: If it breaks your heart everytime he compares Naminé to Kairi...then I'm sorry about this chapter. Thank you again for reviewing this for each of the chapters I've written. Re:threefourtyeight: Thank you! (: I have been writing for an awfully long time, and with practice I suppose my ability to write has gotten better, it's not at the highest in can be though, but I have plenty of years to refine that skill. Thank you very very much, again, and I hope you continue to love this story through to the very end because as long as you all have "faith" in me, I plan to power through and finish each chapter to the best of my ability.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, nothing at all. Also, if you haven't noticed, there's swearing and all that nonsense. Brief mentions of the TV shows Supernatural and House. I don't own those either, but I damn sure wish I did.
"Oh look, you're still in my house...eating my food this time. Great." He dropped his keys onto the coffee table and stood to the side of me looking down, he was mentally fighting the urge to tap his leather-covered toe on the wooden floorboards.
"There's twenty dollars on the table." I mumbled in reply.
Sora glanced across the hall into the kitchen and nodded when he saw the money. I held the spoon up to my mouth, waiting for Castiel to finish his sentence before sticking the cereal in. I had a tendency to spit out things when I laugh and Castiel – that silly rebellious angel – made me laugh so much it's crazy.
"Eating my cereal and watching my Supernatural boxset. On my TV." He frowned and shook his head. "How the fuck did you get into my house?"
I didn't bother looking up, my eyes still on Sam and Dean slaying demons on the screen.
"Right. I thought we had established you'd go back to your house today. It was a one night thing."
"I was, but then I changed my mind."
"Bitch, get your ass off my bed and go get that girl." He bent over and stopped Supernatural. I looked up with my jaw at my feet and then sighed.
"Fine. Just let me finish my cereal."
He looked at me with his 'are-you-serious' face and pulled the bowl from my hands and placed it down onto his desk. "Let's go." He grabbed my wrist and pulled me out of his house and to his car.
"You don't need to give me a ride in your car. I can walk."
He chuckled. "Sure, I let you walk, where will you end up? You won't go to your apartment, that's for sure."
I rolled my eyes and reluctantly buckled myself in, even I knew that this is what I had to do, Axel had more-or-less told me that and sitting around and sulking in Sora's house with a bowl of artificially flavored cereal sitting on my lap wasn't the way to fix this. The drive was short and I literally could've walked there, but Sora was persistent and even after he had driven me there, he planted his hands onto my shoulders and made sure I walked into the apartment and went straight to Naminé. When I walked in Axel looked up from his seat and without saying any form of greeting he simply frowned at the brunette and shook his head. I shrugged and continued to be pushed into my bedroom. She was no where to be seen but steam was slowly coming out of the gap beneath the bathroom door.
"Naminé?" Sora called out for me.
There was a short pause before the water stopped. "Sora?"
He turned me around to face him and looked me in the eye, he gripped each of my shoulders.
"Do what you gotta do."
He then turned and left the bedroom, Naminé called out for him again and her tone was curious. She walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her body and her hair pinned up. She frowned while looking around the room and then her eyes fell on me, I was standing completely still beside the door and had yet to make a single noise. She raised an eyebrow at me.
"Look who's back."
I scoffed. "You're the one who lied."
"You're the one who left."
She walked to the wardrobe and started picking out some clothes. I watched her, unsure of what I was supposed to say.
"You lied to me," I said again. "That's not something I can just forgive you for. The problem isn't even that you lied, I'm sure the both of us have lied about a lot of things to each other, the problem is why you lied."
She turned around after struggling with a bra and some underwear and then let the towel slip down. Even though I was stupidly angry at her, the sight left me hungry for more, I had this sudden teenage urge to jump at her and have my way till the world ended. Her eyebrows waggled at me and she shook her hips, obviously seeing the lust on my face. I pinched my eyes shut and took a deep breath.
"You lied so that I would like you. I never lied about myself to you, from the very beginning I was the most honest I had ever been. With anyone."
"Even Kairi?" She muttered while pulling on an incredibly short pair of denim shorts.
I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Kairi's not a part of this."
"Really?" She said, her voice rising in pitch. She turned and fished something out of the bedside table. "Because...I found this photo of someone I can only assume is her, and there's a little note on the back...and a ring." She flipped the photo around and sure enough there was a short note in my own easily recognizable hand-writing, and with it in a small box, a ring.
"Do you mind explaining, Riku?"
I flustered for the right words, I had learned early on that I should think before I spoke to any girl, Naminé especially. "I-I have no idea what that is."
She smiled and nodded. "Right, do you want me to read the note? A little reminder, maybe." She cleared her throat. "Dear Kairi, I love you more than I could ever love another human being." She looked across at me with raised eyebrows before carrying on. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you. No, I need to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to keep you safe and I need to have you there by my side if I have any hope of getting out of this alive. My love, will you marry me?"
"I can explain."
She shook her head again and tossed the note onto the bed. "How much did it cost?"
"The ring, you twat. How much did the ring cost?"
I looked briefly down at the floor then looked up, expecting her face to be covered in anger. I took a deep, steadying breath. "I don't remember."
She glared at me, she could tell that I was lying right to her face, but she didn't ask any further.
"Are you mad?" I asked nervously while raising my face to her.
She wasn't looking in my direction, instead she sat on the bed with the note and ring still in her hands, she looked up momentarily to the wall and a couple tears dropped onto the paper.
"No. I'm not mad, you loved her."
Past tense. I briefly mentioned in my head. "I still love her."
Her eyes flashed up and she narrowed them unexpectedly. "What?" Her voice was harsh and poisonous. She dragged the word out, making every change in pitch a threat. If she wasn't mad before, she was definitely mad now.
"Did I say that out loud?" I cringed.
She tossed the paper and ring aside then stood up and walked to the door. I reached out to stop her and she hesitated then turned around to face me. "How many times have you said you loved me?" She shook her head. "And everytime I believed you." She laughed. "I'm an idiot."
"No, no you're not." I muttered, grabbing for her wrist.
She looked back again with the door open and Roxas and Axel sitting in the living room, watching us with shocked expressions. Roxas must've just woken up because he had that bed-hair Axel loved to talk about so much when the blondie wasn't around. His eyes were wide and he watched Naminé, confused as to what had made her so angry.
"Naminé, I love you."
"Too. You love me too." She corrected.
I shrugged. "I can't help it, Kairi and I were together for four years, and you and I have been together for two months!" I was becoming frustrated, she could see it and it only made her even angrier. Truth is, I had forgiven her for lying to me the moment she had stood up and walked away from the apartment door to join her parents, but I doubt she'd ever forgive me for admitting that I was still in love with Kairi.
"We've been together for three months. Exactly three months. Today was our three month anniversary. I know we decided we wouldn't celebrate monthly anniversaries, but I still remember them. There's still a part of me that wishes you'll remember, that hopes I'll wake up with a bouqet of flowers, or even a single white rose and a simple note that says 'I love you' on it."
"I'm sorry." I plead. "Is that not enough. Forgive and forget, right?"
"Ugh." She immediately stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door behind her.
I ran both of my hands through my hair and let out a yell of frustration. Axel and Roxas sat quietly, waiting for me to calm down.
"You 'dun goofed."
I shot a death glare at Roxas and walked back into my bedroom.
Hours passed but still no sign, she didn't call any of us and I constantly texted Sora and our other mutual friends in hopes that she had gone to stay with them. None of them had any idea of her whereabouts and I was starting to freak out. I sat in the living room sitting up straight on the couch staring out the window in hopes she would turn up and enter the apartment building. I must've passed out at some point because rays of sun burst in through the window and blinded everything. Roxas sat across from me, just watching as I slowly rose and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. My heart thudded and I looked across at him anxiously. He shook his head.
"Sorry. No word."
I sighed and fell back onto the couch, chewing my nail sub-conciously. I didn't even bother mentioning that I wasn't at school and today was the last day of the semester. I was going to flunk all of my subjects anyways. Unless of course the assignments Naminé had done for me was enough to pass, which I doubted. Again, hours passed without a single call or message and shortly, Axel had returned from school and he walked in with a grim expression. I looked over at him as he entered, not even letting me get my hopes up. She wouldn't have gone to school, just in case I was there, and honestly, I hadn't bothered arriving at school in case she was there. Right now, I didn't want to see her, but I so desperately wanted to know that she was alright.
I sighed and pushed up off the couch and begun getting ready for a dreary afternoon of work.
Just like that another day passed without any word. Twenty four more hours without knowing if the girl I loved was alive or not. One day turned into one week. One week turned into two and my worry was becoming replaced by depression. I was just like Roxas a couple months ago. I had tunnelled into this pit so much deeper than the one Kairi had abandoned me in.
"You have to go outside."
Roxas bent over and picked up one of my empty 2-minute noodle cups then tossed it into a plastic bag he held in one hand.
"No I don't." Scoop into my mouth.
He looked over with raised eyebrows. "You can't sit inside eating ice cream for the whole winter break."
"Yes I can."
He sighed and rolled his eyes. "Fine, get fat. I don't care."
"Metabolism, fucker. Mine's ridiculous."
He scoffed and walked out of the bedroom, leaving me to the comforts of my bed and the hilarity of Dr. House's witty sarcasm on the plasma before me.
An hour after Roxas left the room – a whole episode of House – a tall, annoying and arrogant red head walked in. He had a cocky smile pulled back over his perfect pearly whites, two cold bottles of beer and a party-sized packet of potato chips.
"Hey little man." Axel greeted before handing a beer to me and cracking open his own.
"I'm taller than you."
He looked up with a smirk. "I wasn't referring to your height." He waggled his eyebrows and I scoffed in mock disgust. "Seriously, twinkle toes, what's eating ya?" He frowned and reached out for my hands.
I frowned in confusion before realizing I had sub-conciously picked up the engagement ring and begun playing with it between my fingers. I stared at it longingly. Before Naminé had brought it out, I had forgotten all about it. Towards the end of Kairi and I's quickly dissipating relationship (the dissipating part something I was vividly unaware of) I had intended to sweep Kairi off of her feet and marry her (with her adoptive father's permission of course). I still remember the look in her father's eye, he looked at me lovingly, like I was a son to him (which I practically was). He had thought Kairi would've told me herself; they were leaving. The next day.
"If it's worth anything, I would've been honored to have you as my son-in-law."
I choked up at the memory because with it came a tidal wave of other happy memories and a sudden realization dawned on me. All of the happy memories I had with Kairi were from before we had started dating. It was like our whole relationship had been one-sided, and that realization killed me. I broke. Though by now you'd probably expect me to have bounced up and started throwing things at walls; I didn't. Instead, I fell back into Axel, my head lying in his lap. Rather than making the moment sexual, he just held me, he brushed the hair from my face and mentally made the terrible decision of mopping up the water works.
The last week of break flew by without a single whisper from Naminé. I eventually found the strength to actually leave the apartment and had even gone to work the day before school started up again. Unfortunately I had been met with piles of paper, art and various other documents to sort through, needles to clean and sterilize as well as floors to mop, tables to clean and windows to wash until they sparkled in the bleak Winter doom-and-gloom sun. We pulled up into the school parking lot and it had felt like Naminé had never existed. There was even a brief moment where I felt inclined to ask Roxas if she even had existed. Girls flocked around the car and it felt like the first day of the year again. Axel wound the window down and asked politely for them all to step away from his 'baby' and they did so willingly. Immediately I gave up any hope of Naminé being at school, she had probably jetted off to join her parents half way around the world. With that in mind, I was extremely surprised to see Xion walking with none other than my beautiful blonde.
"Is that...?" Roxas began with a frown.
"Naminé!" I called out.
Xion glanced back at my voice and nudged Naminé softly, she whispered something in the girl's ear and the two giggled before Naminé turned slightly and kissed her on the lips. It was a passionate kiss, and the teenage boy inside me was going wild. They then slipped their hands together and let their fingers twist into each other's and they continued walking.
"Dude..." Roxas mumbled, "Your girlfriend's a lesbian."
Right then would probably be the perfect time for dramatic, sappy music to start playing, I would've turned around and walked away into the pouring rain. Maybe I'd have contemplated suicide, stood at the roof of a building and then Naminé would appear at the bottom begging for me to come down and repeatedly telling me that she loved me and she always will. Unfortunately this isn't some stupid old-woman's morning soap opera, nor was it a teenage love movie where everything is happy in the end. Instead, the two walked away hand-in-hand and their public show of affection was backed up with several wolf-whistles and a rather frisky comment from Axel that would've deserved a fist to his jaw had I felt like punching someone would be the only way to release my frustration at the time. He did however get a smack over the back of the head from Roxas, which was enough to satisfy me for the time being. Instead I carried on through out the day and tried my best to ignore the fact that I may or may not have completely changed a girl's sexual preference.
"There's other fish in the sea."
Roxas shot a glare at Axel and he immediately shushed. We were walking across the field towards the back alleyway, luckily Terra had let us out early. Apparently the word of Naminé and I's break-up spread like wildfire and now the girls were going wild again, if not wilder than they were before. I glanced back just as the bell went and students started to flood out of class, we started walking faster and just as we arrived at the canopy of trees that covered the entrance of the alleyway, Axel pulled out his packet of smokes and passed one to me. I nodded in acknowledgment and stuck the cigarette into my mouth. He leant over and lit it up for me and smirked before lighting up his own. Roxas walked under the trees and into the alleyway and we heard him mumble as if he was talking to something.
"Oh, hello..." He said faintly.
Axel and I frowned at eachother then walked in, the cigarette nearly fell from my mouth when I saw who Roxas had been talking to. Naminé sat on the fence and Xion was resting in a branch of the tree above her. They were in the middle of talking and Naminé still had a fading smile on her face. The happiness on her face hit home, and I couldn't help from being breathless and wanting to bend over and clutch at my stomach. Instead, I smiled politely at her, turned immediately around and walked out of the alleyway. Axel and Roxas didn't know what to do, they either endured the awkward silence with Naminé or follow me and get chased around by girls. Naturally, Roxas jumped at the opportunity to hang out with Xion, much to Axel's hidden disappointment. Axel however, like the great person that he is, followed me. We walked together for a few minutes, completely ignoring the growing crowd of students following us from behind. We didn't even bother trying to find a way to ditch them, at that moment the key for the English room around my neck felt heavy. I sighed and looked back over my shoulder. The crowd behind wasn't too big, so I slipped a quick look at Axel and pulled out the chain around my neck, flashing the key at him. He nodded and just like that we split in two seperate directions; him to the left and me to the right. I glanced back every few seconds and slowly the group of people that had made the tough decision to follow me dwindled down till there was one girl who left immediately simply because everybody else had. I smirked and worked my way from the hallway I had ended up in to the one class I spent the most time in over the last however-many-years I've been forced to learn at this school. I glanced through the glass panel in the classroom door – empty – I fished out the key from beneath my shirt and pulled the chain from my neck. Quickly, I stepped in and weaved between the desks to the back of the classroom, shortly after Axel walked in and locked the door behind him. I immediately pulled out the packet of cigarettes from my chest pocket and lit one up. He leant across the desk and pulled out one for himself, I held the Zippo up and lit the end for him. He smiled as a thank you and I leant back. He smirked and raised his eyebrows before pushing himself off the desk and walking to the front of the classroom. He dug around beside Terra's desk for a moment before snapping back up straight with two bottles of beer in his hand. I frowned.
"How did you know that was there?"
He smiled and walked back. "Magic." He passed one to me and for a moment I considered the possibility of Axel actually being magic, because the bottle he passed me was ice cold. Little drops of perspiration were growing on the brown glass, then the gears in my head turned and everything clicked into place.
"That asshole has a mini fridge."
Axel raised his eyebrows and nodded. "Yeah he does. Surprised you didn't already know. You think our man Terra would drink cold beer? He's not an animal, Riku."
I rolled my eyes and took another long sip. "I never considered him to have hidden a mini fridge under his desk."
"Couple of his drawers are filled with porn magazines, chocolate bars and cigars. You'd be surprised how much you find out when you spend countless lunchtimes in here on detention."
"You my heteroflexible friend, are a genius."
"Oh shucks, thanks."
We spent who knows how long in English that day. Turns out Terra had already left for the day and had no other classes, we simply ignored the school bell and cleared his desk out of everything but the magazines, although I suspect Axel may have sneaked one when he went to the bathroom. Eventually it started getting dark outside and we didn't have any choice but to get out before the cleaners locked the whole school up for the night, plus, Roxas – being the forgetful idiot that he is – probably forgot his key to the apartment. So we packed up the little things we had brought in and walked out to the parking lot. Axel's car was the only one left and we walked over to it in the dim glow of the lamp posts that were scattered around us.
"Are you going to at least try and talk to her?"
Sora sat across from Roxas at the kitchen table and he was briefly glancing up at me from his bowl of macaroni and cheese. His eyebrows were raised and if I wasn't currently infatuated with anything and everything relevant to Naminé I would've held that pretty boy face in my hands and kissed him till the sun rose. I didn't say anything and he sighed then let his eyebrows fall into a frown, but again the expression made the blue of his eyes pop and sparkle in the kitchen's light.
"You're gorgeous, you know that?" I muttered at him, half in an attempt to change the subject, half to simply state the fact that he was good-looking.
He rolled his eyes in response and scooped up a few pieces of macaroni. I smirked and picked up my own bowl from the kitchen counter and walked around to the living room, plonking myself down beside Axel on the couch and considering what would happen if I tried to pry the remote from his hands. Every scenario ended with macaroni and cheese on the floor, not that I particularly wanted to eat the microwaved dinner, but I simply wasn't in the mood to clean up any messes at the moment. To be honest, I still had the whole mess that is my life on the forefront of my mind.
"You didn't answer my question."
"What was it?" I asked.
"Riku, don't fuck with me."
I sighed and got myself more comfortable on the couch. "No. I'm not going to try and talk to her. I would say she's over-thinking this, but she's not. I was genuinely in love with Kairi."
I chuckled. "The funny thing is...I still do love her. I'd do anything to have her back."
"Anything?" He frowned.
"Get in the car, drive to Xion's house, and tell Naminé you don't love her. Then I'll believe that you still love that bitch of a girl you used to date."
A/N: So, yeah. That happened. Hope you liked it :) It's not as good as the other chapters. Review please.