Chapter 2: Chitter Chatter that Don't Matter

The final journey through the impossible.
A silence so vast.
That deafens with its roaring certainty.
To the unnamed places
Guarded by the ancient carrion and their minions of vomit and pestilence
- Orthodox Caveman by Sunn

"Rich, mate. I have the best idea in the history of all ideas. It will blow your mind. It will make Barney from Napalm Death look like…" Alo maniacally rambled on trying to build what he hoped would be excitement, but really all I felt was dread. Most of Alo's ideas involved fake girls, useless social interaction, and shit music.

"Get the fuck on with it, Alo." I interrupted rolling my eyes for good measure as I took a much needed drag on my cigarette.

"Okay…after your cousin's wedding…you meet up with me and we hit the town. We get some pints. Lose our virginities. ACT LIKE MEN."

I stared at Alo in disbelief. For as long as I have known Alo he has always been so excited to make new friends and on the prowl for lady companionship. Alo wanted to be accepted and I couldn't give a fuck to be honest.

"Alo. I want you to listen because I am only saying this once. No. Way. In. Fucking. Hell. I'm not in the mood for fake bullshit and people who make me lose faith in the world. I'm already wearing a monkey suit and being forced to spend hours with Anita and Kevin. No."

"Why would I want you to repeat that? It's a bit lengthy. I'll let you catch your breath mate. Thou doth protest too much Richaroo. Find your balls and let's do this." Alo said with hope in his voice.

I shook my head and muttered a goodbye as I made my way back to my parents. I hate my family. I mean my Nan is okay. She is honest and sweet. Rufus, one of my cousins, is also okay. He is a true individual and tends to scare Anita. I guess mainly I hate my parents or rather what they represent. Anita coddles me and freaks out whenever I fucking dare to tell her I despise everything she chooses for me to be. If it was up to her I would wear suits all the time and use polite fucking language. Be a true sheep. Like Kevin who has no backbone and does everything Anita says. Makes me sick to my stomach. He says that it is out of love, but really it is the fear of a distraught Anita which includes endless bitching and tears. Another person I hate is the cousin getting married her name is Natalie she is as plastic as she comes. Marrying a fucking doctor who probably has more affairs than Alo has dirty wank socks on his bedroom floor. One thing is for sure…tonight is going to be a long night…thank god I have my cigarettes.

In Hell – The Wedding

I was sitting at a table watching the couple laugh and parade their love around like a charade. My guess is bullshit. They make me ill. I'm sitting here at this table with my Nan, Anita, and Kevin. None of us spoke for quite a bit which made me happy. This was ruined when I saw Anita smiling at me from the other side of the table. I knew immediately my day was going to go from tolerable to painful just by the look on her face.

"Cutie, we should have a mother and son dance!" The smile on her face widened in anticipation as my scowl deepened to keep the nausea under control.

"No…I'd rather hug a barbed wire fence if I'm honest."

"Richard. Stop being a twat and dance with your mother" Nan said in a stern voice staring at me.

I sighed and walked with Anita to the dance floor. I stood there awkwardly trying to weigh my options or at least wait for Nan to look away so I can leg it out of there. Anita put her hands on my shoulders and shifted back and forward. I stood there stuck to the ground waiting for her to give up or the world to swallow me whole.

"Fine…you don't want to. I worry about you Richard." I went to reply but she was already walking back to the table. I felt bad for a split second until I shook my head clearing my thoughts on the matter. I was quite honest about my desires not to dance not sure why she acted hurt. With my new found freedom I decided I need a cigarette break.

I walked outside of the stuffy venue and as soon as the brisk air hit me I instantly felt better. Sometimes having a smoke alone on a cold night is exactly what you need to escape from things that piss you off. Ever since I was younger people have just disappointed me. People try too hard. People care too much about the wrong things and care too little about the truth. A bit fucked if you ask me. Halfway through my cigarette I see my cousin Rufus walking towards me.

Let me tell you about Rufus. First of all he's a bit imaginative in his clothing and I honestly never know what he's going to wear. It constantly changes. Today though he had his hair bleached done up in that lame fohawk style. He was also wearing green golf pants and a tight purple buttoned up shirt with a strange green hat that reminded me of Peter Pan. A true innovator that Rufus. So innovative that most people have yet to even develop the brain capacity to even process a poor fashion decision such as that. I respected it though…even if it was strange…because it was him…it was honest. Plus Anita spent the entire night side glancing at Rufus as if he would transform into a rabid purple unicorn with a mission to kill overbearing neurotics that answer to Anita.

As Rufus approached me he extended his arm out and snatched the cigarette from my mouth and placed it in his. "MOTHERFUCKER…that's mine you dick."

Rufus smiled and said, "If you ever get a little sister and she marries a douche you can steal all the cigarettes you want to."

I nodded and didn't say anything. I just didn't want to talk and I was hoping that Rufus would get the hint. Sadly just like most of my social interactions things did not really go as I planned…the other person talked.

"Your mum told me that you've become a right nightmare as of late. Things okay?" Rufus looked at me with concern.

"Anita is mentally ill."

Rufus smiled and looked at Rich. "She is a bit reactive isn't she?"

"I told her I would slit my wrists if she ever makes me wear a suit again. She checked my wrists today to make sure. Because you know slitting your wrists is a clean thing to do with yourself…it was the sleeves of my shirt that would disguise that. Morons." I said frustrated.

Rufus looked at me with a knowing smile. "Oh Rich…ever since you were a tiny wee lad you always had an answer for everything. You don't have a fucking clue. No one does. Chill out."

I looked at Rufus for a second snarling. "I really couldn't give a fuck, Rufus." I turned around throwing my tie into the trash can. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my IPOD putting the buds in my ear. I needed some space. People piss me off and sometimes it is best just to escape into a world of metal. Drown out all the chitter chatter that don't matter and listen to the brutal honest truth that metal supplies me.

Fuck the world.

Still In Hell – Party Alo and Rich Crash (after the wedding)

Alo called and promised me that he will go to the Sunn gig with me next month if I accompanied him to this fucking party. So here I am standing awkwardly in the middle…looking for a sign as to what to do with myself. Human behavior fascinates me and scares me. Like that guy over there the one who is buffed out well he just laughed heartily at a joke the blond girl in front of him told even though it was not funny. In fact it should have alerted him that this girl lacked intelligence and wit. However he still laughed and he is still pretending to listen along intently. How could anyone have the patience for that? I mean I want to have sex too…but surely nothing is worth that pain.

I keep looking around and spot my ginger friend making a fool of himself in front of a young lady. She keeps sneaking glances at her friend with a face that screams "help me" as Alo strikes funny poses to impress the girl. Alo does not notice the glances he never does.

As I was watching Alo and sipping my beer I suddenly felt someone's hands on me as I felt my body being pushed forward violently. I looked up and it was a footballer named Todd who goes to our school. Normally he just ignores me or might say a snide comment here and there. After processing what happened I stared at him as he laughed hysterically with his other footballer friends.

"Get the fuck out of here you fucking girl. I hate the look of you." Todd slurred in my face.

I stared at him despite the fact I was nervous. "You would appreciate it more if you could see what I see." I said in a shaky voice.

Todd lunged forward to take a swing at me only to be restrained by his friends. I overheard one of them say "he's not worth it" as they dragged him from the room. I let out a long breath of relief once I saw him leave the room and allowed my hands to escape their tightly fisted position.

I decided after this incident it was best to go home. End this day once and for all. With one last glance at Alo to make sure he would be okay. I'll send him a quick text explanation later. I pressed play on my IPOD and put my head phones on to drown out everyone.

A/N Notes: This chapter was basically meant to develop some of the thoughts going on in Rich's head and also to introduce a major plot point. The next chapter should be hilarious.