Author: Eeveebeth Fejvu PM
In which Patty asks too many invasive questions about private affairs, and Lord Death the Kid really just wants to eat some cereal. Troika and KidLiz. Well... LizKid...Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Romance - Elizabeth T./Liz & Death The Kid - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,312 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 3 - Published: 04-12-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8017629
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Dedication: To all of my fantastic KidLizer friends on deviantART and Tumblr: Gyo, Revolver, Mizu (SWD), SoR, RMG, Xero, Dream, Chii. Our frequent KLW chats and join-me sessions really are - as we are so fond of exclaiming - the most enjoyable of times and the unbeatable highlight of my days. I look forward to each and every moment, even when I end up staying awake way past my bedtime for six-hour-long chats about prompt ideas and what sex positions Kid and Liz would use. The loss of sleep is always worth it; no regrets! So this embarrassingly racy piece of crack is for you guys. I hope you all enjoy it, and remember, my dear KidLizers: Keep it pervy and classy! :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Soul Eater. That belongs to Atsushi Ohkubo. I don't even own the fanverse this is (sort of) set in: Gin-kyo's Ambrosia, in which Kid has become Lord Death; Kid, Liz, and Patty are in their early twenties; and Kid and Liz's romantic relationship is a secret from everyone but Patty. I just own this fic. Frankly, though, I'd give up the rights to this fic in a heartbeat if I could just live in this story as Liz...
Note: Beta-read by Gin-kyo during a live join-me session. Special thanks to her for letting me borrow her fanverse (and Kid's black robe), for encouraging me with all of her nnnngg-ing, and for assuring me that I am, in fact, capable of writing adult!Troika and KidLiz the way I envision and intend it.
By Eeveebeth Fejvu
Patty was curled up on the couch in the sitting room, eating her cereal in front of the television, when Kid finally stumbled down the staircase.
At the uneven thumping of his footsteps, she pulled her eyes away from the blaring commercials to catch a glimpse of him over the back of the couch. Her eyebrows rose up beneath her blonde bangs in sudden interest.
Kid was still wearing his black robe, his pale feet and lower legs bare beneath the hem of the plush microfiber.
He tripped quickly down the marble steps, one hand clinging to the banister in desperation as if the Grim Reaper's tight grip was the only thing keeping him upright. And maybe it was, Patty thought, resuming her chewing on a mouthful of frosted cornflakes and milk. Even from here, she could see Kid's tiredness in the way he didn't regulate his movement, didn't put any effort into straightening his posture or keeping his footsteps in a precise line.
At the bottom of the stairs, he turned and looked up, finally spotting Patty through the open sitting room doors. "Oh," he said, blinking in surprise.
"Hey," Patty said in greeting, though it was muffled by her mouthful of cereal. She swallowed, then smiled cheerfully at Kid and tried again. "Hey! Good morning~!" She waved her empty spoon at him.
"Good morning, Patty," he said, hand raised halfheartedly in return. This time, she heard the exhaustion in Kid's voice. Despite this, however, he strode swiftly into the sitting room, nearly stumbling around the end of the couch before plopping down unceremoniously onto the gray cushions beside her. "I'm glad to see you're already dressed," he said.
"Uh-huh!" Patty chirped. She glanced down at her nice Death Scythe outfit - the puffy-sleeved white blouse with the fun little ruffles, the black pencil skirt, the enamel skull pin at her throat - only to find a stray drop of milk beaded up on her lap. She stuck the spoon in her mouth and quickly rubbed the damp spot away with her thumb before Kid could notice. He didn't seem to be in a noticing mood, however, since he made no comment.
Patty stared at her Meister in continued fascination as he picked up her box of cereal and began to shake some of its contents into one of the empty bowls on the coffee table. His bowl half-full, he picked up the milk carton she had left out and poured milk into it as well, then snagged a spare spoon and began to dig into his breakfast. Patty continued to stare, uncomprehending. She pulled her own spoon out from between her lips before it could fall from her mouth.
Kid never ate her frosted cornflakes. Not that she wouldn't share them with him, of course. Kid just always ate his boring old multigrain cereal, since he liked the uniform o-shape of the pieces. He always complained about all of the yummy sugar in her cornflakes as well. So to see Kid hunched over the bowl in his lap like that, eating her cereal with the reckless abandon of a starving man, just about blew Patty's mind. What the hell was up with him this morning?
"Are you done?" Kid said between swift bites. He glanced over at the bowl in her hand with a worried expression, eyebrows drawn tightly together on his forehead. "We really have to hurry. We're already going to be late to the meeting, but I want to minimize our tardiness as much as-"
"I fixed it!" Patty interjected quickly. When Kid froze, spoon halfway to his lips, she smiled and said brightly, "I already called Mr. Albarn and told'm to push the meeting to later, to right after lunch. He said that was okay, since he still had plenty of reports and shit to get ready... Probably 'cause he was too busy getting drunk last night to finish 'em. He looked hungover to me, hee hee~ ...Oh, and he said to tell you that they still haven't heard back from the Turkish headquarters, and that the..." She struggled for a moment to remember the rest of the message, then continued slowly, "...that the Death Scythe from Indonesia got on the wrong plane and is stuck at Heathrow right now, and now he can't find his passport." Patty grinned widely. "So he's gonna be really late, hee hee hee~"
"You moved it...?" Kid said blankly, as if in awe. "The meeting...We're not late?"
Patty leveled an unimpressed stare at him. She pursed her lips in an indignant pout. "Sis isn't the only one that can reschedule your appointments," she sniffed. "I'm a Head Death Scythe, too."
"I know, I know," Kid quickly said, "I just... Thank you, Patty. Very much. That is a very big help." Patty giggled at the sincere gratitude in his golden, ringed eyes. Kid - the Lord of Death himself - could be so silly sometimes. At that moment, the commercial break ended and the television flashed back to the cartoons she had been watching. Kid's gaze flicked to the brightly-colored animated figures bouncing around on screen. "...Do you mind if I turn it to the morning news?"
"They're all off already," Patty told him, taking another large bite of her cereal. It was starting to get soggy. She hated that. She liked it much better when it was still mostly crunchy. "All the other channels is only game shows and soap operas." She cocked her head, frowning at Kid. By the troubled look on his face, she guessed that he hadn't realized how late in the morning it was. By pushing up the meeting, she hadn't really bought them that much time. It wouldn't be too long before the noon newscasts came on.
But Kid not knowing exactly what time it was at any given moment? A preposterous, nearly-unthinkable notion! Patty's frown deepened. Really, what the hell was going on this morning?
...And for that matter, where the hell was her sister?
Patty placed her bowl on her lap - careful not to spill any more milk on her skirt - and stared at Kid intently, determined to get to the bottom of this mystery. Her short nose wrinkled and her sky-blue eyes nearly crossed as she focused on his appearance, looking for clues as the Reaper gazed absentmindedly at the back of the cereal box, spooning more milk and cornflakes into his mouth.
Kid's hair was in utter disarray, for starters. Obviously, he hadn't taken the time to brush it this morning - another unthinkable notion! - because the completed Sanzu Lines were a jagged white mess against its backdrop of silky black. Tendrils of short hair stuck up in odd directions across his head, though the short sprigs at the base of his neck were damp and plastered against his skin. The black robe he wore seemed to cling unnaturally to him as well, and Patty tilted forward for a better view of the v-shaped opening in his robe. A few beads of moisture lingered on his smooth pale chest, which was flushed a grayish-pink. His neck was flushed, too, for that matter, as well as the tips of his ears and the skin beneath his tired eyes. At the click of metal against porcelain, Patty glanced down and saw that his long-fingered hands were trembling a bit, causing his spoon to ping against the rim of his bowl. She glanced once more at his face, then sniffed delicately, nostrils flaring. Kid didn't seem to notice. As comprehension slowly dawned on her, Patty's eyebrows rose once again to her hairline. She sat back up straight and waited patiently for Kid to stick another full spoonful of cereal into his mouth before commenting.
"You smell like gunpowder and cum."
Kid's reaction was immediate. He choked, quickly holding his bowl up to his mouth as he gracelessly spat a mouthful of soggy flakes back into the dish. The spoon fell out of his grasp and clattered loudly against the tiled floor. His face whipped around to stare at her, golden eyes open wide in sheer panic and a dribble of milk sliding down his chin from his gaping mouth. Patty smiled pleasantly at his horrified expression. All in all, she thought, it was a pretty satisfying reaction.
"PATTY!" Kid shouted shrilly, his voice pitched strangely high. Patty grinned harder. His voice hadn't been that squeaky in years, not since they had first met as children! She hadn't realized how much she missed that sound.
"What~?" she asked reasonably.
"What the- How- I- Why would-" The words didn't seem to want to come out of his mouth right, like there were too many of them trying to escape at once. Patty wondered briefly if Kid was still choking on cornflakes. She was just considering whether or not to begin thumping his back when he seemed to get his words back in order. "You can't say things like that!" he finally sputtered.
Patty thought hard, trying to figure out where she had gone wrong. It must have been the phrasing, she decided. Kid had always worked so hard on ridding her and her sister's vocabulary of all the bad words they had learned on the streets. The slang and the curses still came out every now and then - sometimes she just couldn't help it! - but Patty felt she had gotten pretty damn good at speaking proper.
So as to not leave Kid disappointed in her language, Patty cleared her throat and tried again. "You smell like gunpowder and semen."
There! He couldn't take offense at that. She'd used the scientific word and everything!
Instead of praising her for her revision, however, Kid simply allowed his cereal bowl to slide out of his grasp onto the coffee table, then buried his head in his hands with a low groan.
A hint of concern tugged at her soul. Patty sat her own bowl down next to his - the cereal was too soggy now anyway - and situated her hands neatly on her skirt-covered lap. She paused to see what Kid was going to do next, but when he remained with his face in his palms and his elbows digging into his knees, she rolled her eyes and said sternly, "Well, you do."
"Patty..." Kid mumbled, his voice muffled and barely understandable, "You can't... You're not supposed to say-"
"What?" Patty groused, crossing her arms. "Not supposed to say what? ...That you and Sis had sex last night? 'Cause I know you did~."
Kid made some kind of strangled noise - possibly another groan, or maybe even a sob - that was again muffled by his hands. The scowl began to slip from Patty's face, a sly grin starting to take over at the sight of his reddening ears. Who did he think he was kidding, really? It was kind of obvious, when it came down to it. All of the signs were there: the tiredness, the jittery movements, the flushed and damp skin. Patty just wasn't used to seeing those signs on Kid, since he was always cleaned up and usually fully dressed by the time she saw him in the morning.
She probably could have guessed from the scent alone, though. The fact was, she and Liz always smelled like gunpowder when they were sweaty. It was a Weapon thing, of course. They didn't actually use gunpowder when they were fired as pistols; they shot compressed fragments of Kid's soul, not bullets. But like a placebo effect, the phantom sulfuric scent always seemed to linger on their skin anyway, after a battle or training or any kind of strenuous physical activity.
Like the sex that Liz had with Kid.
It shouldn't have been much of a surprise, then, that he would end up smelling like gunpowder, too.
Patty leaned over and snagged the remote off the coffee table, turning the volume of the cartoons all the way down to zero. No animated program could be as interesting as this conversation had become, and she didn't want to miss a single word! "...So I guess it was good, then~?" she asked, curious.
Kid mumbled something incoherent. He lifted his face from his hands just enough to peer at her with one anxious eye. "You're really going to ask?" he whispered in honest disbelief.
"Well, yeah," Patty admitted, shrugging. She noted the dark circle beneath his tired eye. "You didn't get much sleep. You guys must have been at it really late last night. Or really early this morning." She tilted her head thoughtfully. "...Or both."
"Patty, I... I really don't feel comfortable talking about this."
She ignored him. After all, during their sisterly gossip time, Liz always told Patty about the awesome sex she had with Kid. All those luscious details... Like how Kid would smile in this really rare, specific way - a relaxed smile that was reflected in the gleam of his eyes - whenever she pushed him down onto the mattress and climbed on top of him. And how he would tell Liz to tell him what to do, even though his hands already seemed to know where best to place themselves. And how he would comb his fingers through Liz's long hair, and how he liked to bury his nose in the crook of her neck, and how he always seemed to mimic her moans, not in mockery, but in a peculiar form of vocal symmetry...
Well, Liz didn't tell her everything, of course - probably left out the best bits, too - but Patty figured she was quite knowledgeable about the sexy stuff that went on between her sister and the Reaper. So, really, she couldn't even begin to imagine why Kid felt uncomfortable with her asking about it.
"But which was it, then?" Patty insisted doggedly. "Last night, or this morning?" When he didn't reply, the grin on her face widened. "Both? Really?" Kid twitched, his bony shoulders tensing beneath his robe, and Patty felt a low rumble of laughter well up in her chest. It slipped out of her mouth in short bursts, sounding rather malicious even to her own ears. "Heh heh heh... you... heh heh... you hornballs~!"
"It's not like that," Kid suddenly said, lifting his head a bit more. His tone was defensive, but his blushing face ruined the effect. "I would have been... After last night, I was... but... then, uh..."
"Oh! So, uh... last night, it was mutual, but this morning, Sis jumped you?" Patty interpreted with a wild mental leap. At Kid's increasingly flustered expression, she nodded thoughtfully. "Yep, I can see that. Sis is always more of a morning person than I am. She's got lots of energy. I always need breakfast or a shower first. ...You got a good wake-up call, then, eh~?" Patty added mischievously, elbowing him in the arm. The Reaper's reddened face retreated back into the safety of his hands. She giggled.
"Yeah, I bet she gets worked up real easy in the morning," Patty continued after a moment, mindlessly watching the mute cartoons play out. "And getting to initiate? Sis likes that. She likes to top, too. She told me so. I could'a figured that out myself, though. She always was in control when it came to that kind of stuff. ...Ya know, back before? In Brooklyn? All that flirty stuff. Sis was real good at getting guys to do anything she wanted, with the drug deals and the mugging and shit. Just flutter her eyelashes and hold her chin up and smirk all powerful-like. I couldn't do that. They all just ran away from me, screaming their heads off for their mamas, hee hee~ But they'd do whatever Sis told 'em to."
"...Not that she was fucking them or anything!" Patty added quickly, her eyes growing wide. She looked at Kid's tousled head in concern, afraid he'd taken her words the wrong way. The last thing she wanted to do was start a fight between her two partners! An argument like that would probably do something really horrible, like mess up their perfected Meister-and-Weapons resonance or cause Liz to run around the Manor tilting picture frames out of spite, and then Patty would have to reschedule the meeting again. And she didn't want to have to do that, because even though she was proud that she could reschedule important worldwide Death Scythe meetings, it really was a pain, and incredibly boring to boot. "Don't worry, Kid; Sis has never fucked anyone but you! ...Er, I mean, had sex with anyone but you. I would have been able to tell if she had. You know, from her soul. ...She really loves you a lot. I don't think she'd want to have sex with anyone else anyway." When Kid didn't answer, she frantically searched her vocabulary for alternative words. "Um... Have intercourse with? ...Coitus? ...Make love?"
A muffled noise came from Kid's mouth, and to Patty's pleasant surprise, it was actually an amused chuckle. "...Thank you, Patty," he spoke kindly. "That's, uh... good to know." Patty felt a wave of relief wash over her. She smiled.
"Sis likes to make love to you," she told him, matter-of-factly.
After a moment, Kid seemed to realize she was waiting for a reply and, upon revealing part of his face again, smiled softly and admitted, "I like to make love to her, too."
Patty beamed. "Good. You should," she said. "I know Sis tries real hard to make sure you're happy and content and not all depressed like you used to be all the time. I'm glad it works."
"It does," Kid agreed, still with that hazy smile.
"So... You're definitely into femdom, then?"
And there went his face back into the depths of his palms.
Patty punched his shoulder, not as hard as she usually might have, but just enough to get his attention. "C'mon, Kiddo, when are you gonna stop being shy~? I wasn't even asking about bondage or role-play or anything! I just meant, do you like her topping you?"
She had to poke him painfully a few more times before she finally got him to confess, "...I don't mind it."
"Yeah~" Patty drawled, snickering. "You think it's hot. 'Specially since you're such a control-freak about everything else." She finally gave up harassing him and flopped back into the couch cushion, crossing her arms. She grinned happily at the back of his messy, striped hair. "Yeah, I should'a known you guys were having sexy times... I had kinda been wondered why no one came to get me last night," she continued thoughtfully. Kid sat up straight, peering over his shoulder at her warily. "I'd thought we'd planned a sleepover. But I was real tired and fell asleep early anyway, so it was s'okay."
Though they had grown up - and Kid and Liz now had their own special, adult relationship - the trio still often enjoyed the nighttime cuddling they had started back when they were teenagers. All piled into Kid's massive bed, buried beneath the soft cool sheets, squirming into place next to each other with arms slung across bodies and heads resting against shoulders, giggling and whispering in the dark... Being together like that, their three souls wrapped in a comfortably warm resonance, was still the best feeling in the world to Patty. It felt like peace, and family, and home. Even if Kid and Liz needed each other in a different, more passionate way now, that togetherness was all Patty had ever wanted or required, and she was fully content with that.
"I'm sorry, Patty," Kid murmured, his apology sincere. "I... We just... Well, we just kind of... got, um... carried away and I-"
"I said it's s'okay," Patty repeated. "I don't mind."
And she didn't mind, not at all. She knew how much Kid and Liz cared about her; she didn't need to be reminded constantly. Though with all the sex they had, Kid and Liz seemed to need to remind each other of their feelings a lot.
"After we get through this meeting, we'll go to whatever restaurant you want for dinner tonight," Kid promised. "...Or, better yet, we can bring something in and have a movie night, just the three of us. Any movie you want. How does that sound?"
"Okay~!" Patty agreed immediately. Kid smiled in relief, and she beamed. She didn't need the consolation - would her two silly partners ever learn that it made her fucking ecstatic to think of them in love? - but if Kid was going to offer a movie night, she would have to be dumb to refuse! After a long cheerful pause, she tilted her head curiously and inquired, "...So then how many times did you get her off?"
The smile fell so fast from Kid's face, she nearly laughed out loud. "Patty!" he whined anxiously. "I thought-"
"Did you give her oral? Did she give you oral?"
"Sis never tells me those things."
"Or are you guys into fingering?"
Patty gasped, her sky-blue eyes lit up at a sudden, glorious thought. "Do you touch her naked body with your shadows~?"
"PATTY, ENOUGH! NO MORE QUESTIONS!"
By now, Kid's normally pale face was so red, he looked like he was about to erupt - not from anger, but from sheer, overwhelming embarrassment. Patty was about to reluctantly oblige his request - she didn't feel like explaining to Liz why Kid had suddenly passed out cold with nothing asymmetrical in sight - when her eyes landed on something that had her abruptly blurting out, "Does Sis bite you during sex?"
"Wha-" Kid stuttered, clearly surprised by this outburst and by the intense focus with which Patty suddenly stared at his neck. When Kid had twisted around to talk to her, the opening in his robe had widened a bit, revealing more of his thin torso and shoulders, including a dull, round, purplish bruise above his left collarbone that had definitely not been there the day before. Patty sat up immediately and leaned in close, one hand on his thigh to prop herself up and the other pulling back the edge of his robe for a more unobstructed view. Kid squawked in protest at the invasion of his personal space and scrambled to push her away, but Patty would not be moved. Ignoring the musky scent on his skin, she elbowed his flailing hands aside and studied the bruise with a wide smile. It was splotchy and obviously fading, but still clearly visible.
Fingers curling in his plush robe, Patty crowed in delight, "Sis gave you a hickey~! A hickey~!" Kid's movements faltered, and even as he continued to force her back, one hand tentatively rose to his neck and began to blindly search for the spot Patty's eyes had discovered. When his forefingers gentled patted against the bruise, he flinched, then blinked, obviously perplexed.
"They usually go away before now," he murmured in concern, talking to himself. "My body usually heals them in less than a minute..." Noticing the wildly triumphant look in Patty's eyes, Kid blanched. "Patty..."
"Don't worry about it, Kid!" she said with a grin. She slapped him hard on the shoulder. "You always wear high collars anyway. And your cloak. Nobody's gonna see it! And... Oh! Lookee at that~! Sis gotcha on the... on the other side of your neck, too!" She laughed, over and over until her ribs hurt, feeling hysterical tears begin to well up in her eyes. "You're... hee hee hee... You're still symmetrical~!"
Patty had thought this last bit of info would make Kid relax - he was so tense beneath her hands - but when she was finally able to blink back the tears, his face was wide-eyed and anxious. Patty hiccuped, then followed his focused gaze to the television. The opening images to the 12 o'clock newscast were just beginning to play on the silent screen.
"Oh..." Kid groaned, in that way he did when he was barely suppressing a full-blown panic attack. "Oh, Father, help me..." Suddenly, he began to writhe in his cushioned seat, trying to stand up. Patty finally released him, leaning back as he stumbled to his feet, hitting his leg painfully on the edge of the coffee table. The ceramic bowls clinked. "It's noon. It's... We have about an hour, then, is that right?" Slowly, Patty nodded. Kid's hands slid into his tousled hair, clenching the short black-and-white strands in his fists. "An hour. An hour to be cleaned up and dressed and the house straightened and the reports gone over and the seating arrangements made and my mask polished and the-"
"Hey, hey, hey!" Patty interjected quickly. "Stop worrying about that shit! The meeting will be fine. Just go get ready!"
"...Right... right," Kid said, taking a few deep breaths and dragging his hands down to his side. "One thing at a time." Patty smiled, pleased with herself. Kid really had gotten a lot better under Liz's loving care. She - Patty - was also a damn good Head Death Scythe, to be able to keep this crazy Grim Reaper in line. "Okay. 'Go get ready.' I can do that."
"Go~! Go~!" Patty said, shooing him off with both hands. As Kid hurried around the couch towards the hallway, with somewhat more grace than he'd had before, she could hear him muttering quietly to himself.
"...but I may have to leave the dishes alone, though they really need to be washed before we leave, but then I may not have time for a shower, but then again, do I really need a shower right now, maybe I can wait until after the-"
"YOU SMELL LIKE LIZ AND SEX!" she yelled after him, just in case he needed the reminder.
"I KNOW!" Kid's footsteps doubled in speed. He pulled his robe tightly around his body and jogged toward the stairs. Patty turned around on the couch to watch him, grinning at his panicked expression. "I'm going to take a shower!" he yelled back in confirmation.
"Yeah, well, good!" Patty replied loudly. "It may cover those hickeys, but I don't think your cloak will cover the smell!"
Kid sent her one last pained look, then started up the staircase, eyes darting this way and that as he tried to organize his racing thoughts. Halfway up the steps, however, he ran right into Liz, who was on her way down.
Patty's soul gave a little leap of happiness as it always did at the familiar sight of her sister. Though still not dressed for the day, Liz was clearly farther along in her morning routine than Kid. Her long hair was dripping wet and plastered to her head and shoulders, dyed so dark by her recent shower that she looked brunette. Her eyes were as blue as ever, though, matched in hue to the light, knee-length cotton robe she had slung around her thin frame. A small oof escaped Kid as they ran into each other, but he quickly steadied them, one hand clinging to the banister and the other resting against Liz's hip.
"Well, good morning again, handsome," Liz said, her voice warm and playful. "Fancy meeting you here."
Patty caught just a glimpse of the curl of her sister's grin. She had a perfect view, however, of the way Kid's entire face lit up as he looked into Liz's eyes. Maybe this was that rare, specific smile Liz so adored, Patty thought. Kid's soul just radiated joy and devoted affection, and Patty felt her heart immediately melt at the beautiful sight.
"Good morning again to-" Kid started, but was quickly cut off as Liz - with practiced ease - slid one hand into his hair, tilted his head back, leaned down, and pressed her lips tightly to his. Patty gasped in excitement at this sudden turn of events. Her fingers tightened around the top of couch as Liz deepened the kiss, tugging upward on Kid's messy locks until he was nearly on tiptoe, trying desperately to keep his mouth on hers. For a suspended moment in time, they stayed that way, and Patty held her breath as she tried to save this image of their love - feisty in its newness, but already so deep and true - as a precious treasure in her mind. But then the moment passed. Liz pulled away - her pink tongue flicking back between her lips - and Kid's bare feet settled back down against the marble steps.
The Grim Reaper stood frozen for a long moment. Then he shook his head slightly and murmured "...shower," as if in apology.
"What's that?" Liz asked him, smiling as she stroked his hair, smoothing the Sanzu Lines into place.
"I, uh... I need to go get a shower," Kid tried again, after another moment. "Before... before the meeting. It's at 1 o'clock now. Patty moved it."
"Okay," Liz affirmed. Suddenly, her smile curled once more into a coy grin. "Need any help with that?" she offered.
"NO! I mean..." Kid carefully extracted himself from her grasp, though Patty could tell from the look on his face that it pained him to do so. "I... I just need to be quick, and-"
"Oh? And I can't help you with a 'quickie'...?"
"Liz!" The blush that had worn off of Kid's face came back in full force. His eyes suddenly darted over to Patty, as if he just now remembered she was watching them from the next room. Slurring his words in panic, he forced out, "Gonnabelate!" and slipped around Liz, stumbling up the stairs and out of sight as fast as his legs would take him.
"Don't worry! I left you a lot of cold water!" Liz called after him, grinning to herself. After a moment, her eyes broke away from the top of the staircase to finally land on her little sister. Patty could still see that loving spark, alive and dancing, in the cobalt blue of Liz's eyes, and she matched her sibling grin for grin.
"Good morning, Patty," Liz said smoothly, continuing down the staircase.
"Good morning, Sis! Well... good afternoon, now." Patty jerked her thumb over her shoulder at the newscast on television. Then she paused, wondering. Even though Kid didn't want to talk about it right now, maybe Liz would be more compliant...? "Hey, wait!"
Liz halted, one hand on the banister, tilting her head curiously. "What's up?"
Patty widened her eyes and held up her hands in a placating gesture, just in case her question backfired. "On a scale of one to five," she began, slowly and seriously, "...how was the sex last night - and this morning?"
For a second, Patty didn't think Liz was going to respond. But then - to her everlasting delight - her sister's grin darkened into an even more dangerous smirk, and Liz obliged her with the best answer Patty could have possibly imagined.
Patty erupted into delirious hysterics. She was unable to contain her laughter either by covering her mouth with her hands or by burying her face in the couch cushion. Her whole body shaking and her eyes watering again, she almost missed Liz's own chuckle as her sister finally joined her in the sitting room. As Liz curled up on the couch with her cereal, Patty scooted closer and poured milk into Liz's bowl and tried not to slosh too much of it onto her sister's thin robe, though it was difficult with the way her arm was still trembling in mirth. While Liz ate, Patty asked her sly questions and played with the dripping ends of Liz's wet hair, and Liz answered, sometimes directly and sometimes in a more roundabout way and sometimes with a patient, "That's just between me and Kid, okay?" But even when Liz refused to satisfy all of her curiosity about their lovemaking, Patty felt joyfully smug.
Because when she held a lock of Liz's freshly-washed hair up to her nose, there was still a lingering hint of gunpowder.