|It's A Bitter World I'd Rather Dream
Author: LadyAdelineJeanetteBeckett PM
Michelle Young, a twenty-two year old fated to survive alone. Or is she? It seems the walkers haven't destroyed everything, for love is still to be found in Georgia's backwoods, even in the most unexpected of situations. Shane/OC. ON INDIFINITE HIATUS!Rated: Fiction T - English - Shane W. - Chapters: 7 - Words: 14,367 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 06-21-12 - Published: 04-14-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8023944
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Meanwhile, back in the RV, after finding a nice place to park that would be hidden and walker free, Shane and Michelle decided to get comfortable.
"We're gonna be here for a while, might as well sleep," he suggested, watching her eyeing the couch in the back.
She looked at him, a flirty smile playing on those cracked and bloodied lips.
"Well, I wasn't really thinkin' about sleep…" she started, in turn gauging his reaction.
She blinked and he grinned, thumbs hooking in the belt loops of his jeans as he bit his lip, "Well...what were ya thinkin'?"
Michelle looked down at the floor, giggling softly.
"I know this is goin' to sound way too early for this kinda talk, but...we've both just survived a herd of walkers, an' we're alone, at night, in a safe spot...an' to be honest, I'm really starting to think your whole 'don't get close to me an' by the way I don't like you' facade is total bullshit. The way you look at me is different then when I first saw ya."She explained, narrowing her eyes at him, waiting for a response.
Shane laughed, "Girl, you really think I'm fallin' for you? Please...you're the last person I'd even consider. Besides, I've got someone else already, an' she loves me more than you ever could dream of."
"Oh, who is it, that brunette who's always yellin' at your friend's kid? Yeah, don't think I don't know that's his mom. She's taken, an' yet you somehow went for her. Have you ever thought that perhaps she's only with ya because she's afraid of what rejection would do to ya?"
Shane seethed, Michelle was telling him that Lori didn't love him. What a lie that was, Shane knew Lori loved him, she just wasn't allowing herself to admit the truth.
"I'd shut up if I were you. You have no idea what you're talkin' 'bout," Shane said, almost adding a 'bitch' under his breath.
"Yea? Make me. You think you're so tough...you just want to be the leader and have all the girls fawnin' over you to make you feel important! You're an insecure selfish bastard that won't admit that he likes the girl right in front of him even after she's saved his ass and blatantly stated she cares for him! You're just-"
At this point Shane had grown tired of Michelle's rant, and not thinking about word choice, wanted to shut her up.
"Bitch, do you ever shut up?"
Michelle laughed, an innocent, almost childlike laugh, "Thanks hon', I know I'm beautiful, but in order for me to shut up you're gonna have to kiss me first." she said smirking.
She tried not to grin as Shane's lip curled in a mock-snarl as he walked towards her.
"If you owe me for savin' you out in the woods, you owe me a lil' more than a kiss, if ya catch my drift." He finally wagered, anger dissipating from his voice.
"W-W-Wait...what?" Michelle stuttered, startled by his proposition.
"You heard me."
"No! No...I won't. Hell, I've never had a boyfriend!" She shuddered as Shane's gaze locked with hers.
"Thought you liked me, darlin'. What's wrong? Too scared now that you see what I'm like?" He taunted sarcastically.
"It's an act. You wouldn't do that to me...I can see it in your eyes, you're not the type that likes to deal in absolutes. And although it's true I do feel something for you, I doubt what you're saying is the way to get me to show it!" she countered, trying to think of ways to get out of her situation.
"Want if I took it slow, treated you like you were my girl? I promise I'll be...gentle, concerned..." he offered.
Michelle snorted in disbelief, she could see right through him. All he wanted was sex, and there was no way she was going to give in to him.
"I'd like to be your girl, but you've said you've got one already...though I highly doubt she even wants ya. An'...I do like ya...but this isn't the way to go 'bout things."
Shane nodded, realizing what she meant before an idea hit him.
"I'll let ya be my girl after this."
Her head snapped up after having said this, "An' now you say somethin'. I won't end up like that blonde everyone talks 'bout, will I? They say you an' her had a fling? An' now you want even talk ta her...I don't wanna be like that."
She blinked as Shane walked closer to her, cupping her face with his hands. She wanted to pull away, but something about the way he just...was made her stay still.
"You won't be like that. I'm promisin' ya. An' if my current girl decides to end it, I've got you...right?" he asked softly, his gaze becoming warmer, not as distant.
Michelle nodded, "As long as you'll keep me alive in this crazy world."
And with that, she exhaled a shaky breath, and pulled off her shirt, almost not catching the smile on Shane's face.
Well hell. Most of his plan had worked. Pending Rick wasn't dead, but he'd gotten the new girl. And with Lori? Now if she truly backed out of admitting the truth to herself, it didn't matter. Shane had already found a new outlet for desire.
Michelle opened her eyes, realizing it was morning, her mind still hazy from the night before.
'What the hell was I thinking? Did I just piss him off enough to get him to finally admit he likes me? Screw liking me...I...why the fuck am I naked? Oh no...do not tell me I actually had sex with him...oh god, I did...this...this is just fuckin' great.'
"If my fam knew I was doin' with you, they'd be callin' me a whore for sure," she mumbled sleepily, not even sure if Shane was awake.
"You're not a whore, Michelle. You're just lonely, that's s'all. I do wanna ask though, you were bleedin'. You' alright?" Shane smiled, handing her the shirt she'd tugged off the next before. She nodded.
"I'm fine… guess I'm bleedin' 'cause I'm not used to it...that an' my period's due soon…oh no…if…" she felt quiet, eyes darting worriedly from her stomach to Shane.
"N-Nothin'… I just hope I don't get…" she trailed off. Concerned, Shane knelt to her level as she looked around for her jeans as she continued, "Pregnant. If I'm on my period I don't think that can happen but I never really got to ask anyone…an' you're a guy, you prolly won't know."
Shane laughed, "Yeah, you got me. No clue. I'll tell you what, if we had to the highway and run into the others, you should ask Lori, she'd prolly know seein' as she has a baby on the way," he reasoned.
"That sounds perfect. Should we get goin'?"
He nodded, climbing up on front to the driver's seat. As he started the RV, he said, "Look. I'm sorry about last night. You just...managed to piss me off in a way no-one's been able to do before. And it got to me. I guess what I'm tryin' say is...I'm starting to realize I have feelings for you. I hope you can forgive me about last night..."
She nodded, "Yeah, I should be able to. And about her...maybe you'll change your mind. Maybe, just maybe, you'll find I'm better for you then she is."
Not fifteen minutes later, the RV pulled up onto the main road where the group had left things for Sophia. Parking, Shane and Michelle got out, surprised to see a few others of the group already there. Upon seeing him, Carl took off at a run and embraced Shane, not hearing his mom yelling his name sharply as a warning.
"Hey lil' man, glad to see you're okay."
Carl nodded, looking at Shane, then at Michelle before adding, "Why d'ya look scared?"
"Well let's see… we almost were all killed by walkers an' I almost got separated from y'all an' –" Michelle felt quiet as she saw the look on Carl's face, he'd gotten the point she was trying to make.
"Sorry...can I come talk to your mom?"
He grinned, "C'mon."
"Hey Lori?" Michelle asked, her voice almost catching in her throat. What was there to be nervous about, it was a stupid little question.
The thirty something brunette turned, surprised to see Michelle standing behind her.
"You alright? You seem like you're shaking a lil'." Lori observed, her mother's intuition having kicked in after seeing the group go through more than their share of traumatic times.
"Mostly...I just have this one question, an' it's really buggin' me...but its kinda private and somethin' only a girl would know."
Lori's eyes widened, but then she smiled, guessing Michelle had never really had any sort of 'talk' with her mother.
"Go ahead, ask...I don't mind."
"Well...can a girl get pregnant if she has sex on her period?" Michelle said quickly, feeling the heat rushing to her cheeks in embarrassment.
Lori coughed slightly, almost choking on air at the simple question. This wasn't just an 'outta the blue' question, something had caused her to ask this, and Lori was damned if she knew the reason.
"Sweetie, that's really not the kind of thing I thought you meant, but, yes, in some cases it's possible."
"Great….that's the last thing I need to happen to me now…It's not the right time or place to be havin' a baby…" Michelle muttered scornfully, staring at the ground.
Lori blinked; just to be sure she'd heard it. Was Michelle implying she might be pregnant? But-
"Please don't tell me you believe you're pregnant."
"I'm not. Yet…I just…I'm scared...I didn't realize everythin' could go….wrong….so quickly!" The younger girl almost snapped.
"That's what they're supposed to teach ya in middle school. Don't have sex until you're really ready for the consequences." Lori shot back, not realizing it would probably offend Michelle.
"I didn't think! I just…wait, if you're saying that, why are you keepin' yours?"
Lori was silent as she realized what Michelle had just said. So she knew that Lori was pregnant. But who could've- Shane. Lori immediately knew Michelle was in trouble. If she'd been talking to Shane...
"Because I feel I'll be able to support it, and it's one step closer to this world seeming normal."
"Normal? There never was a normal, even before the walkers came!"
"Maybe not for you, but before this hit I had a relatively nice life with a son and husband unlike you, just a lonely twenty something that prolly had no life to begin with," Lori shot back, catching the hurt in Michelle's eyes before the brunette yelled back her own reply.
"I had a life! It wasn't great but it was somethin'!"
"Then why do I get the feelin' that the reason you think you're pregnant is that you've just slept with the one guy who I'm positive isn't right for you?"
Michelle's face paled. How the hell did Lori know what had happened between her and Shane just the night before?
"How do you know Shane's not right for me? I seem to be keepin' him happy, somethin' everyone else seems to think is impossible!" Michelle almost shouted.
"If by keepin' him happy means havin' his baby I see where you're comin' from. But that's only gonna make things worse!"
"An', again, I'll repeat….why are you keepin' yours if it's makin' everythin' worse?" Michelle chided, obviously pissed off.
Rick and Shane had both heard the commotion the argument was causing, so they both walked over to see what was wrong. Lori and Michelle both looked ready to jump at each other and claw each other blind.
Rick walked toward Lori, and Shane headed toward Michelle, both men aiming to calm the women down.
"Ladies….why don't we talk about this some other time, after we find-" Rick started, before Lori turned in his arms, Michelle yelling with her, "SHUT UP!"
Shane looked at Michelle, surprised to see she'd actually yelled at him before she added, "This is my fight. Back off."
He nodded, having to comment against his better judgment, "Just keep ya cool…it's not worth it."
Michelle snapped and reached for his collar, pulling him closer so his face was inches from hers, eyes blazing daggers.
"It's your fault we're in this argument, dumbass! Leave me alone!"
Obediently, Shane nodded as she released him, walking away. Instantly Andrea's words rang in his head, "It's not your decisions that are wrong. It's the presentation."
Oddly enough, he realized, she'd been right all along.
Shane was chopping firewood by his truck out in the field by the forest while he listened on to Glenn's safety rant.
"Shane, there are other farms, that walker invasion was...too much for this group. We need to find a place for our group to find, well, you know-"
"Peace of mind?" Shane finished Glenn's sentence.
Glenn nodded as Shane continued.
"Glenn. I know you wanna protect your girl Maggie, but you gotta realize that we all have someone we wanna protect. And if we all put our hands in for one place, one idea, sure. Great! We'll find better ground. But not everyone is agreein' here. I'm all with you, Glenn, I have a famil- uhm- girl, too. Trust me, I want her safe as much as you want Maggie May safe-"
"Right, whatever. You see, the thing is I'm not the leader here. We are...gradually splitting to teams. And we all need to, I don't know, turn our keys together on this one. Some just need a rest to regroup, some want to head back to the farm, some want to move on, everyone has a plan. We just need to hang in there."
With Shane's final chop of wood, he patted Glenn roughly on the back with a comforting smile and headed back to his truck.
"Need a ride?" he yelled as he hopped into the driver's seat. Glenn half-smiled and headed over to the truck to head back to base.
"Lori, thanks for listening again," Michelle sat against a tree a little far off from their camp to talk to Lori in private. Lori smiled slightly but lightly rolled her eyes as Michelle went on, their earlier spat forgotten completely.
"I'm really worried about havin' this baby, you know? How am I gonna be a good mom? There are walkers everywhere, I don't have a crib, and how the hell do ya breastfeed? I just don-"
Lori had had enough. "Stop."
Michelle's eyes widened. "Excuse me?"
"Stop actin' like you're expectin'...you don't know yet."
"I'm pretty sure though, you said yourself-"
"Who's the father?" Lori interrupted again.
"...I don't see how that's any of your business," Michelle responded.
"It's Shane. Isn't it," Lori stated. Michelle stared at her shoes.
"You do know that I'm havin' his baby."
Michelle felt her heart sink into her stomach. She opened her mouth to say "What?" but yet again, Lori intruded.
"We had sex. In the forest. When I thought Rick was dead before you graced us with your presence, he was mine. Boy were we happy. And now I'm havin' his baby."
"It could be Rick's"
"Ha!" Lori laughed, "If you were a mother you can tell whose baby you're having."
Lori didn't know why she was being so defensive over Shane, let alone why she was hurting the young girl, but she was sick of hearing other people's challenges she had already been through without recognition, and was tired of Michelle following her trail.
"When you and I have our children, Shane's gonna have to choose. He still has feelings for me, you know. He will choose me, he has before and will again. He's mine."
Michelle's eyes teared up as a short moment of silence went by along with the far off sound of birds chirping.
"And you'll be dumped just as fast as...what's her name? Oh, yea, Andrea."
Michelle snapped as the memory from earlier that week came flooding back.
"Who the fuck was that bitch?" Michelle had asked suddenly after a few seconds of silence as she and Shane sat on the couch in the living room, she having gotten into a small argument with the blonde over when she would be able to work, pending her wrist was healed.
"Andrea, she just lost someone close to her recently, and she's prone to...not like new people. And uh, she's...kinda my ex."
"That bitch?" Michelle repeated, in disbelief.
"Well...we've only really had sex once, and it was 'cause both of us were missin' human touch...there's nothin' special 'bout her, except that she's good with a gun. Don't let her get to you. Like I said, she's my ex, so she's not going to take nicely to anyone she thinks may want to be with me."
Was it a mother's intuition that she knew how Michelle feared being the next Andrea? And why was Lori attacking her like this? Screw this, Michelle thought I'm tired of being the nice one. Time to stand up for yourself, Michelle.
"How DARE you," Michelle stood shaking.
"Look at you, you're shakin' like a leaf. You don't scare me, you're just scared of the truth... You're scared of ME."
"You cheated on Rick. Who do you think Shane is gonna choose? A new life, or an old one already taken?"
"You know, I think I know why you're being such a little bitch...You don't wanna lose your first and probably last friend with benefits. You think Shane has feelings for you? No...you're just his...you're just his little toy."
Michelle could feel the anger all through her body. She shook inside but stood her ground, screaming bitterly and running into Lori, knocking her back slightly but not enough to send her to the ground.
Lori grabbed Michelle's hair and slammed her forehead into a tree trunk, causing her head to bleed. Michelle flipped Lori around and jumped on the back of her shoulders, sending her knees to the ground.
Michelle pulled harshly on Lori's hair, causing Lori to scream, but Lori struck back. She stood up and made Michelle fall, grabbed her by the hair this time, and threw her back to the ground again.
Panting and wiping her forehead, Lori managed to say, "In the dust...Just like Andrea."
Michelle picked herself back up and sprinted towards Lori,smirking at seeing fear in her eyes. Michelle swung back her fist and Lori was ready to feel the blow of the impact, but Michelle was stopped dead in her tracks when she felt a strong forearm wrapped around her neck, holding her in what she easily recognized as a headlock.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOIN'?" Shane yelled. Michelle struggled in his arms to break free and attack her new enemy.
"Nothin'...now get the fuck offa me! You don't interrupt a bitchfight unless you wanna die!" Michelle choked out, still struggling against Shane's grip.
"You really think I'm gonna let you go? Ya both are bleedin' pretty decently...save the violence for the walkers," he added, noticing Lori's glare.
"Yea, like when you went an' opened the barn without permission? Yea, I'm not the one who should be talkin'. Save the violence...who d'ya think you are?" she snapped, running a hand through her hair, not surprised to find dirt and loose hair coming out.
"Lori, what the hell is your problem?"
"Shane, she attacked ME first and Michelle, admit it, that's how you ended up right before you got screwed. Clueless and completely helpless," Lori added smugly.
"Yeah, 'cause you provoked me enough to get what was comin' for you anyways. 'Bout time someone knocked you down to size," Michelle interjected through gritted teeth.
Shane stepped back, letting Michelle go, she dropping to her knees with a relieved intake of air.
"What?" He asked her.
"Shane, it's not what you think-"
"No, I don't want to hear it. Michelle, save your bullshit. And you, Lori... what the hell happened to you? Both of you?" He started to walk away.
"Shane, wait-" Both women yelled, trying to scramble to their knees fast enough to catch him as he walked away.
"No!" Shane kept walking on, "I thought it was the walkers turnin', not us."
Michelle stumbled back, hurt by his words. The last thing she saw before her eyes blurred with tears was Lori glaring brilliantly at Michelle and walking away.