American Horror Story

Chapter 5

''What in hell are you thinking?''

Ben Harmon was asking the wrong question as usual. Violet's problems had nothing to do with what she was thinking. Her logic hadn't abandoned her; at least not yet. She could tell right from wrong. It was her feelings that were messing everything up. Because sometimes, and lately most of the time, the wrong felt strangely right and the right felt truly painful.

-''Leave.'' Ben told Tate. His voice was firm and there was an odd glimmer in his eyes. That caused Tate to feel uneasy leaving Violet alone with him.

-''No…I'm staying here. I can explain.'' Tate said in an extremely apologetic tone. He knew it was because of him that Violet was now in this position. Because of his carelessness and impatience.

-''I said leave! This is between me and my daughter. It's a family matter. And you are not and will never be part of our family.''

-''You've made that quite clear, Mr. Harmon. But the thing is… Violet is part of mine. So I can't leave her alone.''

Violet tried to free herself from her father's violent embrace and reach Tate's hand. But she couldn't for Ben kept strengthening his grip around her arms.

-'' Tate…It's alright. I can handle this myself. Please…go.'' Violet said looking at Tate as reassuringly as she could. What her father had told was true. This was between him and her. She knew that this time was coming sooner or later. She was hoping later. Actually she was hoping she had talked to her mother first. Not because it would be easier, but because it would be more appropriate. If Violet chose to stand by Tate's side it would seem as if she didn't recognize what her mother had gone through in his hands. But that wasn't the case and Violet needed Vivien to know that.

-'' Ok…I will be in the attic. I will be waiting for you.'' Tate told Violet. Violet's guilty thoughts concerning her mother suddenly got razed by the sight of Tate's sad eyes. Violet instantly knew what he was thinking. He was thinking that he had unwillingly put her in the position of making a choice. And since she would never betray her parents, he was quite certain what that choice would be.

Tate looked into Violet's eyes really hard. Right now they were looking at him with love and compassion. But it was quite possible that they would soon be ignoring his very existence once again. As he turned to leave he muttered a quiet goodbye.

-''Now…'' Ben began to say as he let Violet out of his hold. ''Do you even care to explain yourself? Not that I can think of a single reason you could be letting this monster back into your life…into our lives, but I would love to hear you try.''

-'' Dad, please…Try to understand… Tate needed me. He needed my help. I had to be there for him…''

-'' You had to? Vi, what in the world are you talking about? That…guy…God, I can't even say his name…That guy crippled our family! You don't have to do anything for him.''

-'' You are right… I didn't have to do anything. But… I wanted to.''

Violet watched her father's eyes widen as he was starting to understand the situation was far more serious than he had guessed in the first place.

-'' Oh my God, Violet…Are you seriously telling me that you can feel even the most remote shred of compassion for that guy? What could he have possibly said or done to get you to feel sorry him?''

-'' Dad, you don't listen to me! He didn't need to do anything. I just…couldn't abandon him. Not now…''

-'' Oh, please do tell… What could the poor, little psycho be going through this time? Did someone break his '' wrecking other people's lives'' record?''

Violet let out a sigh of desperation. She and Ben had never been able to form that special bond that fathers usually share with their daughters, but this time she really thought they could have an honest and heartfelt conversation. Now that Ben was trying to turn the conversation into a sarcasm fest, she realized that she would have to lower her expectations.

-'' Tate has taken a very important decision, dad. He's decided to move on…''

-'' What are you talk…'' Ben began to say, but Violet hurried to add.

-'' I know, I know… You think that it would be impossible for someone like Tate to move on. But he's really trying, dad. And I just… felt the need to be there for him during the whole process.''

-'' The process…?'' Ben replied in confusion.

Violet realized she had forgotten to add the most important piece of information.

-'' He asked Ange to help him and she agreed. They are working everything out together.''

-'' Ange? Are you talking about the Irving child? Are you telling me you allowed an innocent child to interact with an unstable ghost? You can't possibly be serious!''

-'' You know Ange is not a regular child. You know she can help… You even wanted her to use her gift on me.''

-'' Well, you are not unstable Violet…at least I thought so, till now. Plus, you have an actual chance of moving on. You can't seriously think that he can make it…''

-''I…don't know. But he is putting a lot of effort into making it. And…dad… he's doing it for me. So that he's sure he won't hurt me again.''

The tenderness in Violet's voice started to upset Ben.

-'' He said that to you?''

-'' Yes.''

-'' And you just believed him?'' Ben asked, surprised that his daughter could be so naive.

-'' Yes.''

-'' Jesus, Violet… Why? Why would you believe anything that guy says?''

-'' Because I know him, dad!'' Violet cried in irritation. '' I know him better than anyone. I know when he's sincere, I know when he's bummed out, I know when he's hurt… And he knows me too.''

Ben felt as if he had been hit by a thunder. Now it was becoming very clear to him that Violet's feelings for Tate went way beyond compassion. The thought of his daughter being genuinely in love with his wife's rapist made him feel sick in his stomach.

-'' So Vi…are you thinking of even leaving with him?'' He said with his eyes closed, his arms crossed and his back against the door. He was obviously preparing himself for the answer.

-''I am…thinking about it.'' Violet said hesitantly.

-'' Why Violet? What do you see in him that I don't? What is it that makes him worth sacrificing your family for?''

Violet sensed the confusion and the ache in her father's voice. She understood that no explanation could make him feel better. No explanation would be enough for her family to ever forgive her. She answered trying not to burst into tears. She had to be cool for this. She had to stand up for what she felt… for what she and Tate shared.

-'' I'm sorry, dad. I truly am… I wish I was stronger. I wish my hate for Tate was as deep and consuming as my love for him. But unfortunately…that's not the case. Without him, I can't… be. He made me happier than I ever was… Do you remember, dad? Do you remember how broken I was before I met him? You and mum did everything to help me but only he understood me. Only he managed to ''fix'' me. Just the thought of him gone and me forever bound by this house physically pains me.''

Violet stopped for a moment to hear what her father was thinking. All he gave her was an icy look that felt like a lance piercing her heart.

-'' Dad… Can't you at least take comfort at the thought that I'm trying to move on? Wasn't that what you and mum wanted?''

-'' The whole point of you moving on, Violet, was to secure you from his influence… Not bind you with him for eternity.'' Ben took a brief pause and then he added. '' Not that I believe that you will actually make it…''

-'' Well…you are wrong.'' Violet replied, trying to sound confident.

-'' Vi, you may be in love with that guy, but you can't possibly be that oblivious to what he really is. He is rotten to the core. He is too damaged to even get close to atonement.''

-'' We will find a way. '' Violet said. She was now getting truly irritated by the degrading tone in her father's voice.

Ben let out a fake laugh.

-'' Tate can't change, Violet. Don't fool yourself.''

Violet knew that what she was about to say would be really hurtful for her father. After that there was no turning back… nothing would ever be the same between them.

-'' Why can't he change dad? Just because you couldn't? Not even for mum… She kept giving you more and more chances and yet you failed her every single time. So stop trying to pretend that you are so much better than Tate… because you are not.''

Tears started streaming on both Ben and Violet's face. Ben moved aside from the door.

He didn't utter a word. He just nodded with his head for Violet to leave.

-'' Tell mum I love her very, very much… And that I'm sorry.'' Violet said before she entered the house. Even though she doubted it, she tried to convince herself that this wouldn't be their definitive goodbye.

Violet entered the attic about fifteen minutes after her discussion with her father. She had waited to feel a little better before she went to find Tate. She wanted the moment that she would announce him her decision not to ever leave him again to be a happy one.

Beauregard was lying in his bed, throwing his ball up and down. Violet thought that the sound his chains kept producing was the perfect soundtrack for the reunion of a damned couple like her and Tate. And then she saw him… He was walking up and down and apparent agony was distorting his angelic features. Yet Violet found him to be more beautiful than ever. The fluttery feeling in her stomach, which she hadn't felt for a really long time, put a smile in her face; maybe this was the right decision after all.

-'' Tate…'' Violet said, almost whispering, so that she wouldn't upset Beau. '' I came.''

Before she had the time to say anything else, Tate had already run up to her and grabbed her by the arms. He started covering her face with desperate, longing kisses and God knows he would never have stopped if he hadn't felt how wet her cheeks were. She had been crying… And he had sworn he would never make her cry again.

-'' It's not too late…'' Tate told Violet. '' You can still change your mind. They will forgive you and I won't bother you ever again.''

Violet held his face between her hands and kissed him softly on the forehead.

-'' Tate, listen to me. It's you and me now…forever.''

-''I'm not worth it.''

-'' Maybe… But that's the way it is. You crushed me…You left me numb and unable to trust anyone… But you are the only one who can heal me, as I am the only one who can heal you. So how could I ever walk away from you? I have no life without you…''

-'' This time… it will be different. I promise. This time… I'm gonna make it.''

-'' We are gonna make it.'' Violet said and then she took him by the hand and they left the attic. Violet wanted them to find Ange right away so that she could begin the sessions once again. Now more than ever it was imperative for them to leave the house. No one wanted them here anymore…

To be continued

-This feels kind of like a filler chapter. But I really wanted to put sth up for you guys so I hope you enjoyed it.

- Did it become reeeeally obvious that I don't like Ben…at all? I know I'm supposed to be objective and stuff, but I just can't help but hate the guy.

Thank you so, so much for reading S.C. !