|That Which Drive Us
Author: babygirlgilena PM
Samcedes AU, not sure if I'll bring in more couples but someone has to focus on our favorite pair. Best friends one of which has feelings for the other, driving has to do with their interaction. Enjoy.Rated: Fiction T - English - Friendship/Romance - Mercedes J. & Sam E. - Chapters: 15 - Words: 83,472 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 01-22-13 - Published: 04-27-12 - id: 8063232
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Soo first and foremost I wanna say WELCOME LEEISME this chapter is for you, you inspired me to get it done and I wanna thank you for your wonderful reviews I fangirl over you my dear :)
To my other readers who commented: natadun81, zeejack, Princess976, and QTfics, Alliecattie3, rana71, woogie327, padnpendreamer, lovessamcedes, chordoverstreetfanactic, Morgana (who doesn't have an account but took the time to review 3), Jadiwine, SuzyQ (another who didn't have an account and still review 3), Skyler, Seolmama, Soundtrack2MyHeart, iHeartkitkats, xcassielovex, lalalal (not sure if that's a name or just something to fill in but yeah), GenByTheSunrise94, Elane, ToriJazz, DestinyEvansFan01 thanks so much :) That is everyone who has EVER left a review for this fic. I wanted to point you out and thank you I mean I loved every single review from the very beginning.
Oh don't worry this isn't goodbye there is more I can tell just getting this out of the way and for those that favorited this fic or my updates or me because of this fic I want to say thank you... there is so many emails to go through and sort you out but thank you for reading I really appreciate it.
Now the chapter... enjoy and please please reviews are very much welcome :)
And I'll take with me the memory
to be my sunshine after the rain...
Mercedes stood frozen on the dock holding herself as the others moved around her saying their goodbyes. She watched as Sam brought his bag to the rails and another man took them up on the boat. He turned pointing in her direction the guy nodded and Sam headed her way.
She sucked in a breath feeling like it was yesterday that he walked through the halls of their school with that slight smile on his face, content with his life and only noticing her. Her stomach flipped and flopped with each step he took and she pulled herself together enough to start walking towards him. She gave off a flirty smile and he stopped just short of her.
His uniform hugged him tightly she put her hands on his chest gripping the fabric, "Hey..." She spoke softly her voice full of emotion. His hands came up to her face cradling her, the tears started and he sighed brushing them off. She sighed, "I'm sorry I know no tears but I'm gonna miss you so much."
Sam smiled, "I'm crying too but I gotta look tough so when I get alone I promise you the tears will come." She giggled and he leaned his forehead against her, "Six months Merc... we can do that in our sleep."
She pouted, "Can't I just sleep till you come back, like Sleeping Beauty you wake me up with a kiss and the world is right again?"
He chuckled, feeling her hands on his wrists the drops of water started, people started to squeal running for cover. "So would that make me your prince charming?"
Mercedes sniffled and shook her head letting the rain fall over them, hoping maybe she could cry a little more with the water covering her face, "No that was Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty's prince was Phillip..."
Sam's face contorted and he shook his head, "Nope Prince Phil... sounds terrible."
She laughed and sighed, "I love the sound of Prince Samuel, he brought me life with one kiss... remember in my room that night?"
"Oh yes I remember that night well... you said crap if I remember correctly." Which caused her to laugh louder. He pulled away and moved his hands around her waist, thankfully the rain wasn't heavy but neither still made a move.
She smiled, "I said that because that was the moment I knew in my heart I was never going to get over you."
He smiled down at her lovingly and pulled her closer, "Cmere..." She leaned up on her toes and pressed her lips to his. His scent enveloped her and she shut her eyes tightly, trying to cement this memory. This smell, the sounds, the weather all of it was going to be there for her to be reminded constantly.
She pulled back and stood straight as he smiled, "No more tears because if I remember you cried the last time we said goodbye..." She frowned and the thoughts came back to her.
Sam and Mercedes stood outside of security at the airport, his parents nearby with her father as well the two were saying their goodbye. She sniffled, "Thanks for coming today and bringing your parents too..."
He frowned but tried his best to put on his smile for her benefit, "Of course... they wanted to see you off as much as I..." His words suffocated in his emotions.
They stood close but not touching all he had to do was reach his hand out and caress her cheek. But his hands were stones, stuck at his side, too afraid, they weren't together anymore they were just a pair not a couple. Two people who used to be together in every way and now they weren't.
Mercedes looked at him with glassy eyes her hands trying to keep in their place, he wasn't taking their break up as hard as she thought and it hurt her more than anything. Because even if it was her idea to begin with she was having second thoughts, she was wanting him to just pull her in his arms and hold her telling her they'll make it work and everything was fine.
"I got you something Merc..." He pulled a hoodie from his bag and handed it to her, "I figured if it gets cold you can wear it you know keep you warm..."
She bit her lip and pulled it to her chest holding off inhaling his scent. 'Not in front of him don't give him that... you let him go, now he's giving you this so save it for later...' "Thanks Sammy I'll definitely wear it on the plane they keep it so cold on there."
He chuckled and the announcer spoke, "Flight 225 to Los Angeles now boarding at Gate 3B, all passenger please proceed..." Sam sighed and looked up and swallowed the lump in his throat, "Listen I know with everything that's happened would it be too much to ask for a hug?"
Her heart jumped in her throat, he wanted a hug he wanted to touch her this was it, she'd have this last her for the rest of her life if it meant she could feel him one more time. She bit her lip and nodded putting the hoodie on top of her carry on, if she was going to hug him nothing was going to separate them.
She took a step and he held out his arms, and wrapped them around her frame and pulled her to his chest, her arms went around his waist and against what her mind told her, her heart screamed, 'YOU BETTER HUG TIGHTER!' She did that and Sam let out a breath but held her just as tight resting his head on top of hers. Her control was fading and the tears were spilling, "I'll miss you Sammy..."
He adjusted his head resting his chin on top of her head and the tears started for him as well, his lip trembling he spoke feeling the emotion in his voice, he didn't want to hide it anymore, "I'll miss you more Merc... so much more than you'll know." She sighed and the announcer called again for boarding.
Sam pulled away and Mercedes kept her head down wiping her tears, Sam did the same but looked up, his father walked up, "Well Mercedes you take care and give us a call please?" She nodded giving him her best smile he wrapped his arms around her and gave her a kiss on top of her head.
Sam's mother joined them and sniffled, "You be sure to lock your doors there's some crazies out there and don't be a stranger when you're home I want a visit you understand me?" Mercedes nodded as her lip trembled and she hugged the woman Sam shared with her as her mother.
Her father walked up with a firm face and she adjusted her shirt and wiped her face, "Dad I'll call you when I land and when I get to my dorm and..." He put his hand up and suddenly pulled her into a hug and just held her. It shocked her more than anything. She hugged him back and felt him rub her back, "Daddy I'll call all the time I swear." She chuckled to lighten the mood but he just hugged tighter.
"I'm gonna miss you baby girl... I know I wasn't the best parent, with your mother gone and all... it was hard to look at you and not see so much of her in your face, the way you acted and spoke." His voice cracked and he pulled away she saw the tears and the smile she tried to hold vanished, he was breaking down, "I'm so proud of you and calling won't be a problem I promise you I'll come visit whenever I can, I have regular business there so you'll see me so much you'll get sick of me."
Mercedes smiled through her tears and whispered, "I love you daddy. And mom was a fool to leave you if she could only see you today right?"
He chuckled with a slight smile back not bothering to wipe his tears, "I love you too baby girl..."
She sniffled and he let her go turning to get her bag, Sam stepped forward as the parents stepped back once again, Mercedes turned to look at them all again and saw the look in Sam's eyes, he was broken? She did this to him? Was this break up harder than she thought for him? Maybe she should tell him she was sorry and didn't mean it? Maybe... "Have a safe trip Merc... call me when you get done calling your dad and my parents."
Her heart ached at his words, she wanted him to tell her she was stupid, that she was crazy to let him go and to give him a chance to prove they belonged together. Instead he set her free, she nodded firmly and turned walking towards security to get through scanning.
Sam stood frozen watching her walk away, his heart screamed at him, 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GO AFTER HER YOU IDIOT!' But his feet were cemented to the floor, his mouth was wired shut and his mind was raging against himself, 'She broke up with you... and you let her go so stop wondering what if before you start." His heart attacked, "Shut up! He loves her he is doing what's best for her! Just shut up!'
As Mercedes crossed the line and got her bag back she turned one more time saying she wouldn't but doing it anyways and waved at them all... but her eyes were glued on Sam's his were right at her and he waved back sadly, she mouthed, 'I love you... always...' Then she was gone...
Sam sighed, "I love you always..." She smiled up at him, "I stood there after you left for almost thirty minutes till our dads had to pull me away cause security was looking at me like I was a criminal or something." He chuckled, "This isn't goodbye you know it's just..."
"I'll see you soon." She finished quickly giving him a firm nod, this wasn't going to be a sad goodbye she was going to cry anymore her man was going to do his job then come home it's what they knew was going to happen. She'd come back and they'd be together and life would go on with or without him.
Didn't mean it wasn't going to suck like hell though
Mercedes sighed, "Ok so we need to wrap this up I see your Captain is giving you the glare I don't want to get you in trouble."
He smiled and didn't bother to look, "He can wait... I'm trying to remember your face, I wanna wake up and imagine you next to me, I wanna shower and feel your hands on me and I want to close out the world and hear your voice around me." She bit her lip as he groaned, "And that is going to get me through some long lonely showers..." She looked up at him surprised and saw the lust in his eyes, he leaned in and just as their lips touched they felt someone next to them.
"Um Sam... Capt. says if you don't get on this boat you're going to get masted..." Mercedes tensed up along with Sam and they both sighed they looked at her. Tabetha bit her lip and stood for a few moments before she got the message and turned rushing up the the railing on the boat.
Sam sighed, "Now that is done... kiss me till I see you again..." She giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his, their kiss was innocent but then got very much in the land of the PG rated, as Sam's hands moved to her butt and squeezed firmly and moved back up her back, Mercedes raked her fingers through his hair and felt her knees give way, which had Sam slightly dip her back. Her head was spinning by the time it stopped he would more than likely be home again.
"EVANS!" His best friend shouted, Sam groaned and stood them upright again as Mercedes leaned against his chest. Sam looked over at the boat and nodded letting out a slow breath.
"I have to go now..." She nodded with her head against his chest and her eyes low, he put his finger under her chin and electricity shot through him with the passion in her eyes, "Pause till I get back?"
She bit her lip and nodded, "Oh yeah..." She let out breathy, "Now go before you get in trouble... I love you."
He pecked her nose and nodded jogging backwards, "I LOVE YOU MORE!" She giggled and the rest of the world came back into sound as she heard clapping behind her, Rachel and Kurt along with a few others cheered them on. They offered to give her a ride to the airport after they saw their men off. Quinn would have cheered if she wasn't in tears from the display, she couldn't kiss Noah goodbye like that she was too emotional he just gave her a sweet peck and a promise to talk soon. Kurt and Blaine kept there's a little less intense but still made their want and longing known to each other. Rachel simply hugged Finn and fussed over his uniform they gave quick peck as he rushed off their love didn't need all that display she thought.
Sam joined Puck on the deck and they along with the rest of the crew waved goodbye to their families, Mercedes sighed and waved wildly seeing Sam smiling brightly, Tabetha stood near him and Puck holding herself but Mercedes paid her no mind. Blanie stepped in front of her and blew kisses at Kurt, Finn gave Rachel a wink and waved slowly at her. Mercedes blew a kiss that Sam caught and put to his heart mouthing, "Every beat is you..."
She sighed and put her hand to her heart as well, "As is mine..." The boat was soon gone and Kurt walked up sighing as he put his arms around her shoulder, she put her head on his chest, "I miss him Kurt..."
He nodded, "I know sweetie believe me I know." Rachel walked up with a teary Quinn and held her close to her chest. Kurt sighed and they all held each other for a few moments. The rain started to fade away and the sun started to come out. Mercedes looked at the distance and hummed thinking of the plane ride to LA those years ago...
Mercedes sniffled and held the hoodie to her nose, she inhaled deeply shutting her eyes, the attendants were seating, she thankfully didn't have anyone next to her but this was a connecting flight which meant she'd have to switch planes at some point but for now she was alone to let her emotions go freely. She sighed and leaned her head against the window, "How do I say goodbye to what we... had..."
Her voice trembled as the tears flowed, "The good times that made us laugh..." A smile played on her sad face as she paused for a bit looking down at her hoodie that smelled just like him, "Outweighed the bad..." She looked at the window and wished she could see him just one more time, standing there so she shut her eyes and envisioned his face, smiling at her looking with so much love and adoration, "I don't know where this road will lead... all I know is where we've been and what we've been through..."
Thoughts of their childhood and life together flashed through her mind, she giggled at the times he surprised her during their friendship and the intimate times they shared as a couple. The innocent and the not so innocent. She sighed and pulled her new hoodie over her head wanting to be surrounded by him in essence. The person in front of her turned around and cleared her throat, "I'm sorry... I just... your voice is so beautiful I wanted to let you know..."
Mercedes was startled and bit her lip, "I'm sorry if I bothered you... I didn't mean..." The woman put her hand up and handed her some tissues giving her a reassuring smile before turning around. Mercedes wiped her face and sighed closing her eyes humming the rest hoping maybe this wouldn't feel so bad when she woke up.
She sighed and turned, "If we get to see tomorrow, I hope it's worth all the wait..." Her fingers played with the ring hanging off her necklace, they all let her go as she turned walking to the car humming, "It's so hard to say goodbye... to yesterday..."
Sam stood on the deck staring at the distance, everyone had gone down to their bunks to get settled in, but he couldn't move he was lost... wandering the world till he was brought back to life. He sighed and turned seeing Tabetha standing on the deck he inwardly groaned then chuckled hearing in his head, 'Oh hell to the no this chick doesn't learn!' Mercedes was there with him in essence and that was enough for him, "Woods..."
She bit her lip, "Sam I thought we could talk... I mean you're still my friend right?" He sighed as he got his bag and started to walk away, "Sam..." Her voice was small and a part of him felt sorry for her but he promised himself he wasn't going to fall for it again.
He stopped and turned, "I can't be your friend Woods, shipmate sure but friend no... not anymore." He gave her a partial smile as he hummed a soft tune she placed as a Brian McKnight song.
Mercedes' trip was quick everything seemed to go by so fast, she exchanged numbers with Rachel and Kurt and said if they wanted to get away she would gladly accept them. She sent a text to Sam, of the dirty nature to get him through the night and the hours she was on the plane and she sent one final one to Santana to let her know when to pick her up from the airport.
Finally back in California she sighed as she stood up taking with her the shirt she held tightly in her hand, she had to take a shirt of Sam's she wanted to able to pull his scent close to her if she felt it fading. She of course had a back up in her bag that would be taken out on a later date. As she exited the plane her phone began to buzz, she turned it on at landing and waited for everyone to respond.
One was from Santana stating she was at baggage claim, the others were from Sam and all were as dirty as he could make them. All of ways he wanted her, needed her, desired her and of course how he'd taken a few moments to himself and thought of her and her text. She giggled and responded, 'I landed sexy...'
She walked up to Santana who was sitting on a bench looking worried but then shaking it off seeing the bright smile on her friend's face, "Oh thank god I thought you were going to be a ball of a mess when you got off the plane... unless you cried in the bathroom or something?"
Mercedes shook her head and smiled, "No I headed straight here, I'm fine Tana I miss him but it's not six years it's just six months and we can do that no problem." The Latina nodded her head and took Mercedes bag as they headed for the door, she glanced at her happy friend and noticed she was trading text with someone, sensing her concern Mercedes giggled, "It's Sam he's being... well let's just say he misses me very much."
Santana shook her head, "I get it no worries just as long as I don't have to see or hear them. I'm good." Mercedes nodded and they continued to the car, Mercedes telling her about the trip and showing off the ring she had told her about, Santana was impressed he sure knew how to surprise a girl. "When are you going to wear it?"
Mercedes set her bag by the door once they arrived at her apartment and started to look through her mail, "When he comes back and if he want to ask me again." She held such a bright smile Santana knew it was going to be a yes for the answer.
She scoffed taking a seat on the couch, "If please he's got you wanting to say yes now of course he's going to ask you when he comes back. Don't know why you didn't say it now... but that's just me."
She sighed, "Because Tana I want to be with him for our engagement not him across the world on a boat..."
Santana nodded just then Brittney burst in the door singing, "WELCOME HOME WELCOME HOME WELCOME HOME!" She carried a dull looking extremely large cat in her arms as she danced around Mercedes, who just shook her head and giggled. Brittney stopped in front of her holding up her cat, "Lord Tubbington heard you come in and begged me to take him to you. We've missed you Mercy!" She smiled and placed a kiss on the cat's head, his interest in the situation was mild at best. Brittney just cheered with glee and got a peck on the cheek.
Santana stood hearing Mercedes' go off, "That sound means we need to give her some alone time... come Britt and Lord Tubs let's get some dinner." The cat jumped down and rushed out of the room completely alive and ready to go at the mention of food. Brittney jogged out after him finding him in front of their door meowing. Santana followed and shut the door as Mercedes rushed to her phone and bit her lip as she rushed to her room shutting the door.
"Hello..." Her voice was seductive and he groaned in response.
He sighed and looked at the door and double checked the lock, secure he smirked, "Hey yourself... are you alone?"
She giggled, "Yes Santana and Brittney and Lord Tubbington just left... I'm all alone."
He sighed and put his hand on his chest, "Good, and where are you right now?" He bit his lip hoping she did as he told her to through text.
She scrunched her nose this was kind of fun and sexy, "I'm on my bed on my back like you told me to be..."
He let out a long slow breath, "Oh Mercy mercy mine..."
She bit her lip and sighed, "Sammy I have my hand on your chest and I'm moving it lower..." Sam groaned and did as her voice said closing his eyes to imagine her there.
What followed was two spirits tangled in lust filled words and attempts at being quiet on Sam's end and as loud as she could on Mercedes' Santana and Brittney would have to understand. It turned Sam on to hear his girl scream his name at her own hands but by his words. They traded on uttering the phrases...
"Sammy yes!" Her voice was strained, her breathing was labored.
Sam groaned and shut his eyes tightly whispering, "Merc, you feel so good..."
She whimpered clutching her phone tighter.
By the end Sam was panting quietly while Mercedes was breathing loudly, "Wow... that was just..."
"Yeah..." He whispered, "I love you Merc Mine." She giggled and planted a kiss in the phone he returned it.
There was a knock at the door, "Evans! You been in there for an hour man!" Puck was trying to give him a heads up that people were starting to look for him.
Sam sighed, "I gotta go... I'll try to call soon but please please text me as much as you'd like."
She sighed, "I love you Sammy always and then some." He sighed and the line went dead.
Sam stood up and fixed himself, finally opening the door, "Thanks Puck..." He nodded and gave him a smirk. Sam shook his head, "What?"
Puck shrugged, "Tell Mercedes I said hey next time you two talk..." Sam cut his eyes at him and then chuckled causing Puck to laugh as well. "Seriously... an hour man what were you two doing?"
Sam shrugged, "Just talking that's all... a very private conversation we started on the docks." Puck nodded they started to walk back to the bunks. Sam smiling brightly as they passed others.
Once inside he lay down and Puck lay on the across from him, "Quinn needs a day to stop crying before I can talk to her..." Sam nodded knowing that must be rough but not really knowing because Mercedes never called him after their first goodbye.
They sat quietly until Sam had watch and got changed and headed up to the top deck on the way he heard noises and grunts coming from a room, he chuckled someone was getting it on already... the women in the Navy weren't known to be very patience with sea life and some guys needed it all the time. Sam got his even if it was across the world. He shook his head and started up to the deck, the captain met him and gave him a good talking to about his behavior on the docks but mostly the ignoring his command to get on the boat but he was easy on him because he was young once he knew what it was like to be in love. Sam took his position on watch and had to patrol with one of the other sailors.
They traded off on who was going to go around and Sam went first he went back down the stairs and had to check each room, to make sure all was clear, he came upon the same room he passed with the fun times going on and knocked, "Hey you guys still in there you need to hit the sack." He chuckled and heard some rustling before long the door opened and the guy stepped out adjusting his uniform and walking one way and the girl stayed, Sam tilted his head, "Look I'm not going to say anything but you need to get out of there I'm kind of on watch and everyone needs to be in bed like five minutes ago."
She didn't move and he sighed taking out his flashlight and pointing it at her and shaking his head, "HollyWoods... if you could huh..." She cut her eyes at him and he shrugged, "Sorry I'd say that to anyone of the guys... I take it back... but seriously get in your bunk... YOUR bunk only."
She walked out and headed towards the female quarters but stopped, "Sam... I..." He shook his head and whistled walking the other way thinking of how he was glad to be done with her and that kind of thing.
Mercedes on the other hand was trying to not be embarrassed as Santana came back over to make sure of her, "Oh Sammy yes Sammy right there Sammy You're so Bi..." Her mouth was covered as Mercedes gasped and had the girl chuckle, she cut her eyes at her friend as she removed her hand and Santana smirked and put her hands up, "Seriously... what was he saying cause man were you hitting them high notes."
Mercedes groaned, "We were just kind of... ok well you know what we were doing, he likes it when I'm loud ok..." Santana nodded and Brittney bounced in from the kitchen, she had a spoon and made both women lick it and smiled Mercedes had to wonder, "What are you making Britt?"
She shrugged, "I'm not Lord Tubbington is making it I have no idea what he'd making just taste testing..." Mercedes eyes doubled in size as they heard dishes knocking together and Brittney running in, "No no no! You can't put cleaner in the food I've told you that's for regular food not desserts!"
The two girls shook their heads as Mercedes sat back on her couch, these six months would be a breeze with these two by her side, her phone buzzed and she read her message
"Miss you already..."
She giggled and typed back a reply and Santana rolled her eyes, "Just remember I works in the mornings so if you could keep it down after eleven we'll get along great... and I won't have to repeat all the things you say... Oh Sammy you're so big!" Mercedes gasped and jumped up, Santana shielded herself from the assault of pillows coming at her, laughing the entire time.
Brittney watched from the kitchen doorway, "See we have to help her stay happy so no more chemicals in your food... back to baking." She turned and bounced back into the kitchen with Mercedes and Santana's laughter filling the air.
"Miss you too... Six months... piece of cake..."
Song: It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday by Boys II Men