|Mr. Nice Guy
Author: D PM
Let's try this one more timeRated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Adventure - Words: 5,564 - Published: 05-30-02 - id: 806829
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
The origins behind this story are rather long and strange. In order not to traumatize some of the delicate members of the audience, I will be brief. After reading some of the unmisted versions of the some of the people here, I almost went blind.
This is simply my way of dealing with pain, without resorting to violence or ether.
Disclaimer: All the characters portrayed here belong to their respective owners.
Please do not sue
I wrote this to be misted, so all spelling/grammar and continuity errors are purely intentional. Have fun
And now, on with show!
Chapter 0: "In the not too distant future"…
Some say evil is purely a product of the modern age, while others say it is merely a state of mind. To the casual observer, this gathering tonight appears to be nothing more than some people sitting around and talking. To the eagle-eyed observer, there is something far more sinister with the people in question. Starting off from left to right: There is a lad, probably no more than 13 or 14, with a long-tailed white cat on his lap, and a blue-haired were-cat curled up at his feet. Both felines have a look of abject terror etched into both their faces. Next to him was a young man holding a bag and casting an arrogant sneer at anyone with made eye contact with him. Next to him were two men, one who had flaming red hair, unbelievably thick glasses and was speaking in a thick tongue. His partner wore a faded army jacket, which failed to cover up his bulging gut. The two were engaged in an animated conversation. Next to them was a nondescript man with a big blue dot covering his face. Next to him was a young woman wearing a futuristic military- style uniform. Next to her, a shadow was cast onto the center chair, with only the occasional hand coming out of the darkness to let anyone there that a person was sitting there. Next to the darkness was what appeared to be a mutated monkey. On the left side of the simian, there was a man dressed in robes and carrying an oversized cross. Next to him was an average looking man, who was busy playing with a badly soiled doll. Next to him was a man dressed in a tuxedo and fingering a rose. In addition, rounding up this evil tea party was a woman (although some would laugh at the term) who had piecing green eyes, a highly pronounced brow, and a look of pure evil in her features.
(I will introduce the characters in case my descriptions were sub par; from the beginning: Oscar, Adam Chris Leigh, Miles Buchann & Craig Thompson, Unknown, Marrissa Picard, "The Boss" more on him latter, Hatchi Matchi, Stephan Gohan, Robert Tsunami, Chris Cadwell, & Lin-Lin)
We join the meeting, already in progress
ACL: Why am I here with you losers?, I just got my Flo-be back from the shop(he pats the bag) after that bimbo Mihoshi sat on it, and I….
O: I agree. Why, my pets here could be giving me a tongue bath right now (both felines cringe at the words "tongue" and "bath")
CT: Losers? You had better watch your damn mouth pretty boy…
Boss: QUIET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(the group quits down) thank you. Hey, can somebody turn on a light? thanks (the shadow disappears, reveling the organizer of this insidious affair to be none other than the presumed missing Dr. Larry Erhardt.!) Gentlemen, and ladies, the reason I gathered you all tonight is because of the one thing we all have in common.
Moreover, that thing my friends is this (he clicks a button, which revels a large picture of Mike Nelson & Dr. Clayton Forrester) All of our works have been made a mockery of thanks to these two. What I propose is that we join forces and eliminate them. With them gone, I will release all of your works to public. Mass insanity will insure, and we will RULE THE WOLRD !MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAAH!!!
Lin-Lin: Nicely put, but why kill Forrester? I thought he was your partner?
Dr. E: Was being the term. That fool left me to die, and he is not half the mad scientist I am. So, we strike at 01900. First, we eliminate Dr. F, then we move up to the SOL.
Who's with me?
The Avatars: (unison)AYE! (they all then brake down into their evil laughs)
Chapter 1: "He worked at Gizmonic Institute"
Gizmonic Valley, 01800 hours.
[We see the camera scroll down the top of Pearl Mt. And into the wacky place known as Gizmonic Valley. We see a small church, a drive-in theater, Gizmonic Burgers (home of the Big G) and finally, the G-shaped headquarters of Gizmonic Institute, and Deep 13]]
[We see Dr. Clayton Forrester, wearing his usual lime green labcoat]
Dr. F: Oh, she'll be here any minute! I hope, oh who am I kidding, of course everything will work out fine. Frank? Have you prepared yourself for our foreign buyers?
[TV's Frank enters. He is wearing a very formal suit]
TVF: Sure thing Dr. Forrester.
DR.F : Good. The representative from the Daitokuji Corporation should be here any minute now. (We hear the elevator rumble, the doors open, and there stands B-ko Daitokuji) Ah, Ms. Dai-
B-ko: Spare me any pleasantries Dr. Forrester. The heads of Gizmonic have already sold their shares of the company, but this "Deep 13" does not seem to be a part of the company.
My father is curious about this, and I am here to decide whether or not we buy you along with he rest your group, or if we kick you into the street.
Dr.F: (unnerved) Ah, yes, well all right then. I'll show my greatest work yet, the
B-ko: Get on with it!
TVF: Sir? There is an unidentified craft in our airspace what should I –
Dr.F : Shut up Frank! Now, Ms. Daitokuji, before we were interrupted-
(Suddenly, a wall caves in. The three people in Deep 13 take cover. Out of the smoke comes Dr. Erhardt, ACL, Miles & Craig)
Dr. E: Miss me Clay?
Dr. F: Larry, so good to see again, Frank call security.
Dr. E: No need for that Clay. My friends here have completely taken over the complex.
Dr. F: "Friends?" who (takes notice of the three) what? Why are you helping him?
ACL: because all you did was mock our greatness!
Dr. F: but that was those boobs on the Satellite, beside if you had made your stories worse, I would have crushed the lot of them!
Dr E: SILENCE!!!! Clay, old buddy, here's what I am going to do. My friends here will stay here and keep you 3 from doing anything rash, while I lead the rest of my forces against the SOL! And there is nothing you can do to stop me! MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Dr. F: oh yea! We'll see,araghhh! Can't………move!
DR.E: oh, I should mention this. You see, my assocs. all have "Auras of Smooth" So you will do whatever they want you to do. Understand?
(Dr. F nods, TV's Frank sweats, and B-ko looks as if she is going to castrate the lot of them)
Dr. E: so long! Marissa, one to beam out (Insert cheesy SFX)
Craig: (swaggers over to B-ko) Hey baby, want to par-ty with a real man? (he starts to run his hand over her stocking covered legs) Adam, scope this place out, & see if you can find any beer, ok?
ACL: why should I? (Craig whips out a Desert Eagle and points it at Adam's eye) Beer, right. OK, no problem.(He slinks off)
TVF: ( thinking to himself) NO! can't allow this. Must…Push…THE…..Button
(Frank topples over, and smashes his head onto the control panel. Luckily, his head hits
the right one)
Chapter 2: How about some Hot Chocolate?
(We see ACL entering a small room)Adam: Lousy SOB's I'll-what the Hell?
(we hear a small scampering sound) Who's there? I'm going to open my Flo-be on your piddley ass right now If you don't come out right now! Uh?(we see several tiny men, not much taller than 5 in., running about. They all resemble Bruce Campbell)
BC1: Ready Men? FIRE!(the Campbells have loaded a regular-sized shotgun and have pointed it at ACL)[the blast tears a basketball sized hole through ACL's stomach]
Adam: Urk!(falls Dead)
BC1: How did ya like that? Alright men, move out!(the men brake into two groups. The first one runs along the wall, the second climbs up it, and onto a saffoding suspending from the ceiling)
The 2 Avatars hear the noise.
C: What was that? Miles, go check it out before I lose my chubby with the ice queen hear.(B-ko looks homicidal)
Miles runs into the Campbells
M: What? By Sweet Mother McGreey and her 17 Whoring dogs, what by me Lucky charms of the Loch is that? Little People?
BC1:We prefer "vertically challenged". Charge!!!!!(the Bruces swarm over Miles, much like piranha do to an ox)
C: what? Damn it Miles what is it now? Wha?
(Miles staggers in, covered in blood)M: The, the little people me boyo. O' by me blue moon, green clovers, and purple horseshoes 'twas the horror !(falls down in a pool of his blood, vomit, and urine)
C: Miles!(The Bruces show up) I'll get you, you little bastards!(starts stomping at them)London Bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down, London Bridge is falling down(as he corners one of them, the Bruce pulls out an antipersonnel mine and tosses it under Craigs foot) BOOM! Ah! My leg!
BC's: My Fair Lady!
(with all three Avatars dead or out of it, B-ko, TV's Frank, & Dr. F are freed from the Aura Of Smooth)
B-ko: Revenge is Mine! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA (tear off her suit to revel her battlesuit)Now DIE!(hits Craig with all of her weapons at full force)[there is now a greasy stain where Craig once was]
We see the second group of Campbells on the ceiling
BC2:Would ya look at that. Acres and acres of female flesh! I can't stand it anymore!
Give Daddy some sugar!(he dives off, and lands right the middle of B-ko's cleavage)
B-ko: Ack! (starts rolling on the floor)
TVF: Does this mean we won't be bought out? (looking at B-ko rolling around)
Dr. F: No Frank, but don't worry, I 'll just sell your brain to GENOM.
TVF: oh, ok.(looks fine, then the truth hits him. He get a worried look on his face)
As much as I wold like to stay and watch B-ko's predicament, we will have to leave and go up to the SOL and see how the rest are making out.
Chapter 3: But His Bosses didn't like him so they shoot him into Space…..
Space. 1901 hours (sorry, don't know military time)
(we see Mike Nelson talking to the two bots, Crow T. Robot & Tom Servo)
M: Anyway, I still think Gerber's Howard the Duck was his best work
T: Come on and pull the other one Nelson!
C: What would he pull?
T: Shut up! The point is, that the Defenders was obviously Gerbers best! All the unexpected plot twists, and the dialogue, it was his shining moment! And there was no half-witted movie based on it!
M: Tom, I think your taking this too far ( a explosion is heard and the lights black out for a second)What was that? Quick, Cambot give Rocket Number Nine!
( we see a ship that bears a passing resemblance to the Enterprise –D. It is writing "We got our arses handed to us by a bunch of Avatars" on the hull)
The bridge of the ship(we see Marissa Picard and the Kids crew)
MP: Greetings puny adults. This is Admiral Picard of the Enterprise. Prepare to be boarded. Surrender or be destroyed.
Mike, Tom, Crow, & Gypsy: We give up!
MP: what was that? You wish to fight to the death? Very well. Engage the secret weapon, and send the attack team over!
Meanwhile, in other part of the system
We see a HUGE wing shaped ship. It is gray, with the words "Robinson's" written on it. Zoom in, through the decks, until we come to a large board room. There are several people sitting there, but all we see are their outlines
Voice 1: Blast! They have engaged their "Ratliff" device.
Voice 2: It means we can't beam anyone over. We'll have to engage them in ship to ship combat.
Voice 3: But what about my friends? We can't just leave unguarded, besides, the Avatars have probably already sent some people in.
Voice 1: Don't worry Mr. Robinson, we'll get your friends out of there. It'll be tricky
But I think we can do it. Thankfully, we have been working on our own "Ratliff device".
Hopefully, the device will warp some people here who capable of dealing with even the most extreme Avatars. Doc, why don't you explain?
(Doc enters. He is wearing a bright yellow labcoat)
Doc: Berty well.You see. All yiy do conctraintraite and out you will poop out into the ship, but first we must get someone from outside this dimenision. That is were if to get someone from the outside,they shoud be abke tro break the device's walls, disable the Avatars, resuce your friends, then we move in and disaknbe the other side. Understand?
(the others look at him slack-jawed)
Voices: Um, ok, sure.
Robinson: Then lets get our device ready.
We leave the ship as a beam of energy shoots out, pierces the force field around the SOL.
Inside the Satellite of Love
T: Guys? I'm scared.
M: We all are Tommy, we all are.
C: You got a plan Mike?
M: No, what about you Gypsy?(We hear the Avatars coming up the hallway)
G: Yay, RUN LIKE HELL!!!! (they all run down a different corridor)
Chapter 4: Robot Roll Call
We see Crow running (sorta of) down a hallway. He trips, bends one of his legs, and he is trapped! Stephan Gohan enters.
SG: So, foul minion of Hades, we at last meet.
C: Wait, what did I ever do to you?
SG: You are a thing without a soul! You encourage naughty thoughts in your fellow man! Therefor, you are a thing of evil, now prepare to meet your master in Hell!
(Suddenly a plot contrivance portal opens up and a person drops out. She is wearing thigh high leather boots, leather thong bikini, and a halter top which just barely contains her massive breasts. That's right, it's everybody's 2nd favorite magic user, Naga the Serpent)
N: Where in all the seven Hells? Who are you?
SG: I. I, (he gets a nosebleed) I kick ass for the Lord! (He pulls out a oversized cross) I shall smite thee as well whore!
N: (cocks an eyebrow) Really? How do you plan to do that?
SG: With this!(he swings his cross, but its too heavy, and falls over)
N: (Greatly Amused) OHOHOHOHOHHOOHOHHHOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHHOHO!
SG: ( blood shoots out of his ears) Aragh! Witch! Thou have rendered me unable to hear!(he grabs his area) and made me sterile too! You are evil incarnate! (slams his cross into Naga's stomach)
N: Ouch! That's it! FIREBALL!(She roasts Gohan alive) well that was fun, but I still don't know where I am (notices Crow laying there) What?
C: Hi! Crow T. Robot, pleased ta meet 'tcha.
N: Oh! Kawaii! (she grabs Crow and smothers him between her breasts)
(They wander off together)
Hope you enjoyed that, but now lets go over to the well read chick magnet of the SOL, Tom Servo, and see how he is doing
We see Tom floating down into the bowels of the ship.
T: Hmm, this is where Crow dug that hole in the ship.( a feline form pounces on him)
AHHHHHHH! I mean, Do your worst! I'm not running anymore! Wait, do I know you?
(the feline who pounced on him is none other than Felica)
F: Help me! Please! I can't take the pain anymore! Just kill us both before he comes down here.
T: No, Don't worry, I have a cunning plan.(they hide)
O: oh pets o mine where are you? You don't want to punished again, do you?(we hear several moist sounds coming from the sound of Oscars voice)
T: get behind those crates, I'll take care of him
(Oscar enters the room, he is still in his normal, human form)
T: hey sailor, want some real p----?( Tom wearing a catsuit)
O: Baby! Where have you been all my life!
T: Waiting for you(Tom cuts the power to his hover skirt and falls on top the helmet) To DIE! (Tom files up, taking the helmet with him)
O: HUH? Shack Kick!( he does a flying kick, misses, and lands crotch first over the hole) Yipe! Sagjin transform !(He starts to change, but due to the contrivance field, he can't break free. The sucking sound is now coming from him. There is a look of pure pleasure on Oscars face, then horror, then pain. Then his eyes balls roll up in his head and get sucked out through his body. His body deflates somewhat, but it keeps the hole blocked)
T: You two alright?
(Felicia and Artemis come out, they are both weeping)
F&A: THANK YOU!! We're free, the nightmare is over! Happy Happy! Joy Joy!
T: No thanks necessary, but could one of you please get this catsuit off of me? I have the urge to to take a hot shower.
(Tom and Co. wander off to search for the others)
Looks like Tom made out ok, but what about Cambot? He's just as important to the crew, yet he barley gets any chance to be in the spotlight. So let's see how he is faring, ok?
We see Cambot sliding along the floor. He slides into a young lady, who has red hair, a black cloak, and a red outfit. That's right, it's the cutest and the best mage around, Lina Inverse!
LI: Where am I? I knew I shouldn't have listened to that guy with the bandanna (takes notice of Cambot) What are you? You don't look like anything I have seen before, I
(Robert Tsunmai enters)RT: well, hello little girl, would you like some candy?
LI: (dosen't notice Cambot curling up the corner and shaking) Not really. Hey mister, do you know of a way out of hear?
RT: No, but would like to suck on my lolli?
LI: No thanks, I think I'll be leaving now (backs up)
RT: you can't do that, now be a good girl, (he grabs Linna'a arm) and suck on my..
LI: I AM NOT A GIRL! I'm am 18 years old, the best bandit killer around, the world's greatest sorceress Lina Inverse and I HATE PERVERTS! DRAGON SLAVE!!!(RT, along with the next eight decks of the SOL, disappears in a blaze of light)
LI: Hey, (she turns to Cambot) do you know your way around here? (Cambot bobs his head "yes")
LI: Then lets go (they walk off)
Cool isn't it?
Crow is having fun, Tom is safe, and now Cambot's alright. Now lets check in on the one person who really runs things, Gypsy! She usually runs the higher functions of the ship, but do too the Ratliff device, she is now using 100% of her functions. The device is now the only thing keeping the ship together, and making sure the crew doesn't suffocate.
We see Gypsy slinking along the floor, we she runs into a battle suit, piloted by none other than Unknown!
G: Do I know you?
U: no. I get that a lot. Now die!( he shoots an electro-magnetic pulse at her)
G: No! Ahhh! (collapses in a heap)
U: I wonder how the other Avatars are doing? Haven't been able to reach them. They are probably ok.( he hears footsteps) Who goes there?
(we see a man step out of the shadows. He has white hair and is wearing a S-mart Pharmacy outfit with a bandoiler strapped across his chest. He's Roy G. Biv, adventurer)
RGB: End of the line, pal. ( He pulls out 2 guns, and fires two beams of green energy at unknown)
U: What the Hell? No!, No!, NOOOO!, glub, glub.(we see the blue dot on his face slowly turn brown)
RGB: How did you like my bowl-disrupter? How are you doing, miss?
G: (still fried from the EMP) ohh, Richard Basehardt?
RGB: Not quite. Cmon, let's get you to safety.
Heart-wrenching ain't it? We have seen the bots, now lets check in on Mike.
Looks like he's in bit of a jam.
(We see Mike. He's carrying a Samurai sword and fending off the attacks of Cadwell & Lin-Lin)
M: Take that!( for every swing, Cadwell blocks w/his cane)
TCC: Nelson, you have been under my skin for a while. Lin-Lin, take him now!
(Lin-Lin sneaks up behind Mike, place her hand on him, and proceeds to transfer all of her works into his brain)
M: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (clutching his head in agony) I have survived "Devilfish", "The Head That Wouldn't Die", and all of Oscar's works! I refuse to be beaten by the likes of you two!
LL: Nice speech, but it won't save you (she and Cadwell, prepare for the finishing blow)
Female voice: Hold it!( a figure steps out. She is blond, wearing tight cut-offs and a T-shirt. She is Gina Diggers, the Gold Digger!)
GD: Back away( she pulls out a large handgun and fires. It misses all three completely)
TCC: Nice shooting, Lin-Lin, finish off Nelstone here, and I "take care of" the Lara-wantabe . (he advances)
Female voices: No, you won't! (Brianna & Brittany Diggers appear. Bri is a mix of the other two, and she is hefting a Vulcan cannon. Brit is in her were-cheetah form. Both look pissed)
BD: Touch my sister and DIE tux-boy!
TCC: foolish female, I do want I want!
BD: Oh, screw the witty dialogue, just die!(she unloads several rounds from the cannon in to Cadwells lower body)
CD: Just you and me, honey (she bears her fangs)
LL: (sweating visibly) Eep! Marissa, beam me out now!(she starts to teleport out)
CD: Sorry, but you are not getting away that easily. ( she picks up mike's sword, and tosses it into the transport beam, merging both woman and blade)
LL: ( as her atoms are split) ARRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHH!!!!!!!!
Just then, all the other bots, along with their respective rescuers show up.
T: Wow! Mike, I guess everyone's ok?
M: Well, (he sees Brianna.) Yea Little Buddy. Why don't you stay here, and I'll see if the ladies are ok ( he goes over to the Diggers)
Joel walks in, along with Detectives William and Al(William is a dog in trenchcoat, while Al is a human)
J: Hi guys
Bots: Joel! (Tom floats over, Gypsy & Cambot slink over, and Crow is still stuck between Naga's breasts)
J: No time for reunions, guys we got to get off the ship! Follow me (the ensemble gets into a small ship, Joel stops at the door) Roy will fly you to the ship?, I have to stay here.
Others: What! Why?
J: Don't worry, I'll get off in my own way, right now you guys have to get off the ship before the Ratliff device fails
RGB: Don't worry Robinson, I'll get them to there in one piece. (the ship blasts off)
J: Magic Voice, you still with us?
MV: (weak whisper) Barely, Joel. I don't think you should have stayed. I am going to die along with this damned Satellite.
J: Don't talk like that. I have a plan (he runs off toward the bridge)
We see the ship flying past the Enterprise and to the safety of Robinson's spaceship.
Inside the Enterprise, Marissa is not taking her defeat well
MP : YOU MORONS!!!!!!(foaming at the mouth) This is what I get for listening to a bunch of adults! Security! Take Dr. Erhardt to his shuttle and lock him in. Clara, Prepare to launch the "the Chunky Monkey"!
Clara: Sir isn't that a bit unwise?
MP: You questioning my orders? DIE TRATIOR!(she pulls a phaser on Clara and blasts her to the next world) Now launch the damn monkey and call me QUEEN!
Kid's Crew: Yes sir, your highness
A pod is ejected from the aft side of the Enterprise. The pod slowly morphs into a mech which resembles a cross between "Curious George", Professor Bobo, and several mutated Pokemon
On the bridge of Robinson's
Al: would ya ja look at the size of that thing!
William: Cut the chatter Al.(speaks into a intercom) Is the Lion Force a go? Good. Launch them now!
We see a robot exit the main hanger. It's Voltron, Defender of the Universe!
Keith: Alright team, here's the plan. We are going to hit the monkey with everything we have. Ready? Fire!
Lance, Pidge, Allura, Hunk: Let's go Voltron Force!
FORM BLAZING SWORD
LION HEAD ATTACK
Each attack wears the monkey down a little bit. Now for the finishing move
Keith: let's finish this! Dynatherms disconnected. Disengage interlocks. Mega-thrusters powering down.
Voltron breaks into the five robotic lions and each lion grabs one of the monkeys limbs and pulls in a different direction
Inside the cockpit
Hatchi Matchi is worried, sort of
HM: Oh, what naughty people!(he grabs a pikachu doll that has some weird stains on it, and starts to rub it against himself) naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty!
The cockpit is beamed in the hanger of Robinson's. William and Al approach
A: Come out with your hands up!(he opens the cockpit door and quickly shuts it) My God(he looks as if he's going to be sick) William, bring out the secret weapon
William brings out a female rabbit, who has a weird grin on her face and a twitching left eye
W: In ya go(he tosses the lady into the cockpit. We hear her laughter, and Hatchi's screams)I think that's enough time(he opens the door and pulls her out.)
Al & Will: Whoa (Hatchi has 2 pokeballs shoved in his eye sockets, 2 chrmanders in his ears, 4 action figures in his nose, and a 7 game carts in his moth)
W: Let's turn him over (he moves to do so)
A: No, William, there are some things man was not meant to see
Let's leave this disturbing scene and check in on the dear captain
# Chapter 5: Final Kick!
We see Dr. Erhardt is still in his shuttle. He is working on a statis pod, while Alexander looks on.
Alex: Sir, what are you doing?
DR.E: Well, I have decided that working with your captain is not in my best interest, so I am releasing a final Avatar , Kefka.
A: Why tell me?
Dr. E: well, I think Kefka is rather hungry after being this pod, so…..(he opens the pod door, and Kefka steps out)
K: Master, what is it you wish of me?
Dr. E: Kill the red shirt, than fly us out of here
K: Your will be done, Master
A: Stay back!(he fumbles for his phaser, but Kefka pounces on him, turns herself into Dark Sonic, and rips Alexander a new one)
Dr. E: Very Nice, now, lets get out here and get some revenge!(the shuttle leaves the hanger, and flies in front of the SOL)
The Enterprise is not faring well. Robinson's has blown up the engines, and only the saucer section remains)
MP: Full Impuse! We'll ram them!(the ship does a graceful turn, and is promptly cut into
three pieces by Lion Voltron, Vehicle Voltron, and Robinson's guns)
Chapter 6: So they shoot him into Space!
We Joel on the bridge of the SOL. He is wearing a oxygen mask, and looks to be downloading something the ships memory banks.
J: there, all done. What?(Dr. Erhardt is on collision course with the SOL) looks I am going to have to speed things up. Hope my emergency pod is still intact, and now, I'll disable the Ratliff device, and plot a course for Deep 13!(he escapes in his ship, just as Dr. Erhardt's shuttle crashes into the front of the SOL!)
William: That crazy bastard survived! Beam him on board(Joel appears)
J: Hey guys, why don't we sit back and watch the fire works?
Dr. Forrester looks haggard. B-ko has run amok, nearly destroying Deep 13. He answers his phone.
Dr. F: Hello? Joel? How can you be here?
J: Hi Dr. F! you might want to look outside.
Dr. F does so, and he sees the remains of the SOL bearing down on his exact spot
Dr. F: gulp, excuse me, Frank?
TVF: Yea Steve-o-rino?
Dr. F: stand here for a moment, wouldn't you?
TVF: Sure(he does, blissfully unaware of the flaming death above him)
Dr. F: Good lackey, bye!(he runs down a fight of stairs, all the way to Deep 666
Pant, gasp, wheeze! I made it! Do you hear me Robinson! I haven't lost let!(he hear a deep booming sound, and its getting closer. Dr. F looks up the stairwell, and sees the fireball, bearing down on him once again. And Frank is falling down with it)
Dr. F: (right before the fireball engulfs him) Oh, poopie
Everyone is celebrating(party hats, champagne, the works)
The remains of Deep 13
Frank walks out of the rubble. He is completely unharmed. We see a burnt hand shoot up out of the ground, grab Frank by the ankle. It's Dr. Forrester!
Dr. F: Push…………the……………….button…………Frank……………
The hand lets go of Frank. He shrugs, walks over to the button(yes, its still working)
Pushes it, and walks off.
TVF: I wonder if Arby's will take me back?
Crow: After a 17-hour operation, Crow was removed from Naga's cleavage. It took another 20 hours to get the grin off of his face
Tom: Runs a detective agency with Felica
Gypsy: Got a new body and runs Gypsyco
Cambot: Got a successful career with Dateline
Joel: Went back to his stand, but still takes off in his space ship every now and then
Mike: Lab assistant to Gina Diggers
TV's Frank: Distract manager of Arby's
All the good guys were sent back to their respective dimensions
The ever loving end!
To everyone mentioned in the fic, sorry. I meant no offense, this is only a parody/antific/cry for help/ and should not be taken seriously.
Thanks: Patrick Brewington(the American Alan Moore), My teachers, Joel Hodgeson, Fred Perry, Bruce Campbell, Bob, my shrink, the fine folks at SVAM, and everybody else to numerous to mention
I hope you have had fun, and if not, sorry
Roy G. Biv, Al, William & Irate Rabbit are property of Patrick Brewington
Gina, Brittany, and Brianna are property of Fred Perry and AP
Joel, Mike and the rest are property of Best Brains
I don't know who owns "Slayers" but the characters are used without permission
Artemis is owned by DiC and the lady who created "Sailor Moon"
Voltron is owned by World Events Productions
Enterprise-D, "Star Trek" are owned by Paramount
Sonic is owned by Sega
Pokemon and Game Boy is owned by Nintendo
Bruce Campbell appears without permission
Dr. Thinker appears without permission
To Authors: Ratliff, no offense, but I do like your work ethic. All others, well, lets not darken each others doorways ok?
"Remember, a friend is only a enemy who doesn't have the guts to try and kill you"-JT