First many thanks to TSylvestrisA. She is fabulous and helps me so much.

Thank you for all your reviews/adds to faves, I love you. This is a short bridging chapter, but it starts getting seroius next chapter. Been very busy this week. Should have another chapter of my other story 'as the moon orbits the sun always' out this week, so if you are following that, again, sorry for delay.

Chapter 13 - Six weeks and five days after the fall.

The diary of Dr. John Watson.

How can I stay angry with you? You are such a twat but I don't have it in me to stay angry with you. I spent much of last night awake thinking. I had half an ear listening the whole time. I suppose I hoped that you would make a mistake, that you wouldn't be able to stay away, but you don't make mistakes. So I spent the night sat in your chair just thinking. That's why I'm not angry anymore. I considered the position you had put yourself in. I don't know what happened on the roof that day but whatever it was was bad enough for you to do what you did. You must have known that something was going to happen because you must have planned your 'death'. I just remember the look in your eyes the first time we met Moriarty. The confusion and fear when I walked out wrapped in that jacket and you thought for a split second that maybe I was the one that had been playing the game, the thought that I had possibly betrayed you. I also remember the look of fear flashing when that little red spot appeared on me, the utter fury that you hid so well that night. I think you would have killed that night because of me. You were so offended that someone had dared to threaten me, I realize that you think that I belong to you. Part of me wants to rant at you for that but I can't. I thought on that for a long time last night and as much as I am my own man the thought that you think that fills me with warmth because surely, my friend, it means that you care for me. I just see in my minds eyes the image of you ripping that bomb off me, and I remember the relief in your eyes.

"People will talk." I said.

"They do little else."

I also recall Moriarty talking about your heart. It is hazy as I had a bomb strapped to me and I was somewhat distracted at the time but he was telling you that actually maybe you do have a heart. I can't help but think that he was right and I also think he knew it well enough to use it against you. Maybe I flatter myself with all of this but I don't care. There is one thing I need to know Sherlock, am I still in danger? Is Mrs. Hudson? Lestrade? You have to tell me Sherlock, I don't know if it will be enough to stop me but I will know to be careful at least?

I was thinking about the people who had moved in across the street. The assassins. Two have gone now but I know one is still around. I keep thinking that maybe that is my next move. I need to find out what it was they wanted and more importantly why it was they insisted on saving your life. Surely that is against almost everything they stand for? Yes, tomorrow I will go over there.

Right now I am going to see Molly for a drink. I need to talk to her, need someone to talk to. Maybe if we talk for long enough she will open up a little more but I don't mind. I just need someone right now Sherlock.

Later you big git.

JW.

(new entry)

John, you're drunk. Don't do it. SH.