|VONGOLA PRIMO GIOTTO: The Owner's Guide And Manual
Author: obsessed-with-music PM
Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of your very own mafia boss! To unlock the fullest potential of your smexy boss, this guide is highly needed.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Parody - Giotto/Ieyasu S./Vongola I/Vongola Primo - Words: 1,104 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 3 - Published: 05-09-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8100196
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Aya: Couldn't help myself xD
VONGOLA PRIMO GIOTTO:The Owner's Guide And Manual
CONGRATULATIONS! You are now the proud owner of your very own mafia boss! To unlock the fullest potential of your smexy boss, this guide will be essential. Once again, we would like to congratulate you.
Name: Giotto (will respond to names like 'Giotto', 'Boss', 'Giotto-san', 'Primo' or if you really want 'that hot blond dude with the mantle' 'that guy with the flame on his forehead' 'that super hot seme to my uke.)
Place Of Manufacture: Italy, Vongola Bosses Division
Length: Imagine Tsuna's and we'll give you a box of tissues for nosebleeds.
Your VONGOLA PRIMO unit comes with the following accessories:
One Mantella Di Vongola Primo™
A pair I-Gloves™
A closetful of button-up shirts, pinstripe suites and trousers (random color combinations)
A pair of black shoes
One Vongola Sky Ring™
One Mittena Di Vongola Primo™
Your VONGOLA PRIMO unit is very easy to remove from his box, since he is a gentle sort of person. Just remove the chains around his box. Once he gets out, you will be greeted with a dashing smile and a polite bow.
After you successfully remove your GIOTTO unit, you will be surprised that it comes with a variety of amazing features.
Boss: Even for a mafia boss, he extremely kind hearted. But don't get into his bad side. If you do, expect to be blown out of your own house.
Big Brother: Aside from being a mafia boss, he can also be your dream big brother. Kind, caring and protective, he will protect you at all costs.
Best Friend: Do you know why the G unit, despite being a jackass like his successor, the GOKUDERA unit has a family? It's because of his best friend of course! Your GIOTTO unit also makes an awesome best friend.
Bodyguard: Your GIOTTO unit also makes an amazing bodyguard. Stalkers? Ex-boyfriends? Weirdos? Fret not! Your GIOTTO unit will beat the crap out of them.
Boyfriend: Since he is one of the hottest males in the REBORN! Manufacturing, he also makes the perfect boyfriend. Got some bitches that are show-offs about their boyfriends? Then the GIOTTO unit is for you! With his god-given looks and attitude, he'll be amazing! (Note: we can't guarantee that he won't fall in love with you.)
Italian-to-Japanese Translator: Your GIOTTO unit is fluent with Japanese. Got those homeworks, fanfiction, that you wanna translate? But do take note that you must know how to speak Italian. Otherwise, you will not be able to understand what he's saying.
Movie Star: Not only is your VONGOLA PRIMO unit good-looking, with killer features, he is also very skilled with his I-Gloves™. Furthermore, he could also land some big-ass roles like say, Iron Man perhaps? Before you know it, your VONGOLA PRIMO unit will have his face in billboards and you will be lying in the lap of luxury.
Your GIOTTO unit will come with the following modes:
Calm, Collected & Gentle (default)
I-will-kick-your-ass mode (locked)
You're-the-seme-to-my-uke mode (locked)
The Calm, Collected & Gentle mode is this unit's default mode since,well, that's just him.
The Pissed-off mode happens when someone insults the Vongola Family. If this mode happens however and he's in his hyper mode, do keep in mind to stay away from him.
The I-will-kick-your-ass mode is sorta like the stage 2 of Pissed-off mode.
The You're-the-seme-to-my-uke mode is one of the OOC mode of this unit. It triggers when either the G unit, ALAUDE unit or DAEMON SPADE unit go into OOC mode or You're-the-uke-to-my-seme mode. We highly suggest that you just sit back, relax, and enjoy the hardcore yaoi, er, happenings.
The Sadist mode is triggered when the I-will-kick-your-ass mode is also unleashed and when the GIOTTO unit just wants his enemy to suffer.
As for the You're-the-uke-to-my-seme mode, this is only unlocked when a SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI unit is in the opposite mode.
Relationships With Other units:
SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI: Your unit is this unit's great-great-great-great grandfather. This unit is also your unit's successor. A yaoi-filled relationship may also bloom if you allow it to.
VONGOLA FIRST GENERATION SET: This playset is your unit's family. They are also the founders of Vongola.
He can very much handle himself. Although, he won't reject any offer for scrubbing his back.
He prefers any kind of food. As long as it's edible. But he prefers Italian food.
He would need eight to ten hours of sleep due to paperwork and dealing with the arguing of his guardians.
Q: Instead of a blond dude, I got a dude with VERY light blonde hair! What happened?
A: Congratulations! You got an ALAUDE unit. If you don't want it however, we'd be glad to make an exchange. Call 1-800-Akira Amano Manufacturing.
Q: Instead of a TALL blond dude, I got a tiny one! What happened?
A: You got a chibi! Giotto. If you still want the original we'd be happy to make an exchange.
Problem: My unit jumped at me!
Solution: It seems that the You're-the-uke-to-my-seme mode has been unlocked. Whack him on the head with a sledgehammer and open the control panel on the back of his neck and lock it. (Note: We cannot guarantee that you won't have babies in the future.) Either that or he's gone whacko.
Problem: My GIOTTO unit suddenly decided that I be his girlfriend!
Solution: Enjoy it. Enjoy EVERY MINUTE of it. It's a blessing.
Problem: My unit just proposed to me! That's a huge ring too..
Solution: Where would you like your wedding be held?
Problem: Help! My unit is torturing me!
Solution: What kind of flower would you like for your funeral?
Under the Vongola Bosses™ Division, the GIOTTO™ unit will surely make you feel complete. Do take care of him. Please also follow what this manual says. Or your life would surely end in hell. Also keep him happy. And he might just propose to you.