|Rotten iPear Store One Shot
Author: Here'sWaldo PM
Are you guys sick of iPear Store stories, yet? Yeah, me too. So, anyway, this is my iPear Store one shot. I tried to be different by making it "not good". More indirect Seddie than actual Seddie. Kind of more about Freddie's state of mind. T for swearigRated: Fiction T - English - Freddie B. & Sam P. - Words: 2,874 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 05-16-12 - id: 8123648
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly nor am I profiting from this work.
Note: Sick of Pear Store fics, yet? Me too. So on a completely unrelated note, here is my Pear Store fic. It was done pretty quickly. But it just felt like something I wanted to say. Kind of a look as to why Freddie feels such animosity toward Sam right now.
"Dude, I have apologized to you like ten times. That is more apologies than I have said in my whole life. What do you want from me?"
Sam followed Freddie as he stormed to his apartment. He wheeled around on her in the hallway in front of his door.
"I want you to just butt out of my life. And stop ruining every single good thing for me, Sam. Is that too much to ask?"
"Uh, yes. What you want me to just give up on all of my hobbies? I am supposed to give up ruining your life and take up knitting?" She replied with a smirk.
"This isn't funny, Sam! That job was important to me and you just waltz in and take it all away. Like you always do."
"Guys, what the heck is going on?"
Neither bothered to turn and look at Carly was was standing in her doorway confused.
"Sam got me fired." Freddie answered while still staring at Sam.
"Sam!" Carly chided.
"I said sorry!"
"Well, I am sorry you are in my life."
"Just come in and tell me what happened." Carly interjected.
Both paused to take in the not unusual sight of Spencer in blackened sooty clothes and eating caramel corn with a triumphant grin.
"The Fire Department is never coming back here, are they?" Sam asked.
"Nope!" Spencer responded. "What is going here?"
"Sam got me fired." Freddie squeaked.
"I don't think I will ever get tired of hearing my name bellowed in that tone."
"Just tell me what happened?"
"Well, Sam started making all of these sales because the customers were all morons so she was capable of speaking on their level."
"And then she got promoted! To be my supervisor! My supervisor who could write my review! After a week. And it was so obvious that Natalie just liked her because she was good at selling computers and making fun of the customers behind their back."
"Wait, so you became his boss and then you fired him?" Carly asked horrified.
"No, of course not." Sam quickly said.
"Wait so you trashed him and had Natalie fire him?"
"Not quite…" Freddie responded. This story was a lot less damning when he said it out loud. "Um… well obviously that was insane, right? Sam shouldn't be my boss. I know so much about computers. She once called me over to her house at three in the morning to check her e-mail for her. So obviously I told Natalie that. Not the three in the morning thing… But I told her that Sam was a criminal and I let her know that she was a horrible boss and didn't deserve me as an employee… And, uh, she fired me. And took my shirt." Freddie hoped the pout on his face would offset the weak ending to his story. It didn't.
"Dude." Spencer responded. "I have had a lot of jobs in my life…"
"Since when?" Sam asked.
"I have had a couple of jobs in my life. And I have been fired for a lot less than telling my boss she was horrible."
"You know I don't think setting your boss's hair on fire or hitting your boss with your car are actually less reasons." Sam pointed out.
"Why are you defending him?" Carly asked. "Freddie that is horrible. It isn't Sam's fault that she is good at manipulating people into doing things they don't want to do or buying things they don't want to buy. And no one needs to know about her criminal record. "
"Well, I am actually pretty proud of my criminal record and would like more people to know. That judge once said she had never seen a kid violate their probation in so many creative ways. It is almost sad that juvenile records are sealed. The world my never know how awesome I was."
"Sam! Stop it. If you felt that way you wouldn't have stopped getting arrested once you could be charged as an adult."
"Look, you two weren't there. Natalie was being a total bitch. Which is what I liked about her. But, still, the whole thing sounds worse out of context." Sam responded.
"Have you two switched bodies? What is happening here? Freddie was wrong. You didn't do anything wrong."
"Are you sure about that?" Sam asked. "That doesn't sound right. I am pretty sure that can't be right."
"It sounds weird to me, too. But, yeah, I am pretty sure about this." Carly responded. "Freddie do you have anything you would like to say to Sam?"
Freddie crossed his arms and maintained his pout.
"Freddie!" Carly chastised.
"You get used to the tone. After awhile it sort of becomes refreshing." Sam assured him. "Look, I am going to use the ten apologies I gave you over this for some of the future bad things I will do to you. I have been thinking about renting out your bedroom on Kevin's List. So maybe it will go to that."
"I don't care. I never accepted those apologies, anyway."
"Freddie what the heck is wrong with you?' Carly asked.
"Wait, I thought you were supposed to be on a date tonight." Sam changed the subject.
"Yeah, I was. He turned out to be a total creep and he attacked me with his lips."
Sam's calm demeanor immediately went rigid with rage. Freddie smiled for the first time that night.
"What? He is a dead man. I wished I still worked at that store so I could torture him on a long term basis." Sam responded.
"See, next time you are looking for a nerdy guy to fix your computer and take you on dates maybe you shouldn't look any further than across the hall. I could have told you that." Freddie responded.
Sam looked as though she had been punched in the gut. Spencer seemed shocked. And Carly decided to ignore him.
"Dude…" Spencer began but Carly cut him off. She was done with that for the night.
"It turned out fine. My big brother took care of it."
"Do you have a big brother I have never met?" Sam asked half heartedly.
"Hey! I am a very manly guy when my womanfolk are threatened. Now, I am going to go light some candles, take out my best chamomile bubble bath and have a glorious soak!"
"Don't you dare light any candles." Carly warned.
"I swear to God I will let you burn if you set this place on fire." Sam warned. "I am not dragging you out of that tub."
"Oh, please. You would love it.
"Wait, what do you mean 'if you still worked there'?" Carly asked Sam. "How did you get fired?"
"Eh, I quit when Natalie started seeing such a bitch to Freddie."
"Sam, you can't just quit jobs like that. You need to establish an employment record. Have references. It paid well and you were good at it."
"Yeah, like she cares about any of that. What is the point of lawful employment if she couldn't torture me?"
"You know what Freddie I don't know what your problem is but you are going to apolo…"
"Look it isn't like I didn't know that my being there annoyed him. I knew it was getting on his nerves. I didn't know it would make him have a psychotic breakdown. But still. This chapter of our lives is over. Let us never speak of it. Just like all of the other chapters we don't speak of."
"Some people can't help themselves from bringing up closed chapters." Freddie added.
"Believe me. I am burning the book." Sam responded her voice suddenly took on an edge that made Freddie gulp.
"Well, I don't know what you guys are talking about. But it doesn't feel like a satisfying resolution. Not at all."
THE DAY AFTER THE ONE BEFORE
Carly and Freddie sat at her kitchen table studying for their physics test. Carly didn't feel great about the events of the day before. But Sam had behaved far worse to Freddie in the past. It felt hypocritical to dwell on it.
"Hey, how did your Spanish test go last week?" Carly asked.
"I got an A-." Freddie responded. "Sam got an A."
Sam and Freddie were both in honors Spanish while Carly took French. It was Sam's only honors class and she only took it because she thought getting graded for speaking was the perfect scam. She was already fluent in Italian, a similar language, and her mom also really liked Spanish guys. So, she had been more than capable of conversing in Spanish for years.
"Well, an A- is really great! And Sam is practically fluent already it isn't fair to compare yourself."
"Yeah, why should I be annoyed that I work really hard for something and she can just do better with no effort? I have been trying to learn Spanish for years. I have that Yo Tu Mama Spanish App that gives you a Spanish word or phrase to use everyday. I have been sprinkling those into my sentences for years."
"Yeah, and this is totally normal and not annoying. But I don't think it is as helpful as having a stream of Spanish speaking guys coming in and out of your house."
"So, I get punished because Sam's mom is a slut." Freddie cringed as soon as he said it. They made light jokes about Sam's family in her presence but saying it behind her back seemed a step too far.
"What the hell, Freddie? You didn't get punished. That class isn't graded on a curve. Everyone could have gotten an A if they deserved one. You didn't earn it. That isn't Sam's fault."
"Just drop it."
"Look, you think I don't get it? I work really hard on iCarly and Sam gets way more comments and fan mail. I get that it can be frustrating…"
"You get lots of fanmail too. And you don't get any hate mail. Remember when Sam wanted to do a segment where she just read out hate mail and comments she got about her being too mean, too rude, a bad role model." Freddie smiled despite himself. He had loved that idea but Carly squashed it. It felt too negative for their show.
"Yeah but I don't inspire the passion one way or the other. And sometimes I get jealous about that."
"You have been inspiring passion in me for years." Freddie responded and Carly broke. She was done with it all. She was going to force him to stop this act.
"You really mean that? Then do something about it? Make a move." Carly said hoping to God he didn't actually make a move.
"What? Uh… I don't…"
"What you have been hinting at it for weeks, right? You want me back. Well, I don't have a boyfriend. You don't have a girlfriend. What is stopping you from just making a real move? Like you did with Sam. Just sweep me up in your arms and kiss me."
"Uh… you would hit me… Sam wanted me to do that you don't. I am not Trey."
"I am giving you the go ahead. We are two single better than average looking teenagers. Why not? Kiss me."
"You don't want to?" Carly asked relieved. The fall out of that would have been her most awkward rejection, yet.
"I want to more than anything. I want to kiss you and date you and not fight all of the time. I want to take you to prom and not have to bring fried chicken in lieu of corsage."
"Yeah, that would really show her, huh? She may be better than you at being a PearS tore employee or Spanish or co-hosting iCarly. But you can have her best friend. You can beat her in your love life."
"No it isn't like that. I just want someone else who is normal."
"Freddie you are seventeen year old boy who plays with trains, you still play with Galaxy Trek toys…"
"Wars. Galaxy Wars." Freddie tried to correct her but Carly kept going.
"Your mother still gives you tick baths, you sometimes spend all weekend alone in your room playing Wars With Lords…"
"World of Warlords"
"… you have a GPS chip in your head, you workout at your mother's all female gym. I could go on with this. You aren't that normal."
"I am more normal than Sam, though. She has been showing me up my entire life. She was stronger than me. She was better at pranking. She always won our bets. And it never bothered me. But when you have your first real break up. Your first real heart break. Well, you don't necessarily want your ex around you all of the damn time. You certainly don't want her around all of the time showing how much better she is than you. And, yeah, she is abnormal in all of these terrible annoying ways. But she is also abnormal in all of these amazing infatuating ways, too. And no matter what I can't ever be either kind of abnormal."
"Freddie you are amazing at so many things. Sam could never be as good at math, or science, or computers, or getting past border patrol in Canada. She is just good at language and putting on a show…"
"And I was fine with it." Freddie continued. Ignoring her. Letting his thoughts out in a jumble. "But then I tried to co-host iCarly. And she managed to make a trash bag filled with yogurt funnier than me. It is like I can't win. And she liked that guy from One Direction and I thought it was a joke. He clearly wasn't interested. But then they disappeared together and when we found them they practically had to tear him off of her to leave for their tour. "
Carly had also been surprised when they got Sam making out with Zayn.
"And you didn't have to listen to the guys talking about Sam in the break room. All of the guys who work there are dogs, just like your would be lip rapist. And they were all about the new girl who could fill out that t-shirt. I had to force my sandwich down Kevin's throat to shut him up about it. I just wanted something that was mine. Something I was good at. Not being constantly surrounded by my ex-girlfriend and her ability to make me seem that much less special to everyone else. Or her ability to irritate me just by being in the room."
Carly was speechless. Neither Sam nor Freddie had spoken about their break up once it happened. And, on some level, Carly was relieved. She had wanted things to go back to normal. But things weren't normal. Just as she was about to formulate words, Sam strolled in.
"What's up people?" She called as she came over to the table. "I have a present for you, sir." She threw Freddie a red Pear Shirt.
"You got me my job back?"
"Oh, no. Natalie filed a restraining order against you. You can't visit any of the Pear Stores in Seattle. But I stole that shirt when I went back to beat up Carly's potential Lip Rapist."
"Sam, I told you you didn't have to do that." Carly said with a smile.
"Yeah, but you also gave me his schedule so I sort of got mixed signals."
"Were they mad?"
"Nah, he has pulled that chizz before so they weren't surprised. Natalie offered me a raise to come back. But I think we should focus on iCarly, for now."
"Thanks for the shirt, Sam. I am sorry I wasn't more supportive of your job." Freddie said with a small smile.
"Don't worry about it, Fredbag." Sam said and then turned to Carly. "I am going to grab a snack and then take a nap in your bed. Wake me when you are ready to write some sketches, Carls."
Carly saw Freddie watch Sam leave the room and put his new T-shirt on over the polo he was wearing. It fit him perfectly. He then turned to his Physics book and seemed ready to pretend his recent outburst had never happened. Carly sighed and returned to her physics outline. It didn't feel like a satisfying resolution. Not at all.