Author: Conservatoons PM
When Hank gets kidnapped by a group of ninjas, he returns one year later to test his powers.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,571 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 05-27-12 - Published: 05-21-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8137853
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
It was the next day, and Hank was prepared to fight his former boss. He put on his samurai armor, and grabbed his katana. Right before he was about to leave, he went over to Bobby's room and gave him a ninja robe like his and a supernatural katana. He opened the door to leave, but Peggy stopped him.
"Hank, where are you going?" Peggy said.
"I'm fighting Buck Strickland so he can shut down his harmful business." Hank said.
"Hank, you need to work so we can support our family! We barely survived without you." Peggy said. Hank grabbed something out of his pocket. It was a small pouch filled with glowing sand. Hank poured it into his hand and blew it into Peggy's face. After breathing in the sand, she completely forgot what she was saying.
"You will support me as a samurai and forget who I was before." Hank said, brainwashing Peggy. He got on his golden dragon and went over to Strickland Propane. Meanwhile, Buck was loading up his shotgun. He heard the clanking of Hank's armor. Buck went outside with his gun and the two faced each other once again.
"Buck! End your business or face the consequences!" Hank cried out.
"Never..." Buck aimed his gun at Hank and shot at him. But Hank deflected it using his katana. He rushed towards him with his katana and a dagger he had hidden. Buck blocked Hank's sword strike with his shotgun, cutting it in half and causing Hank's sword to fly off his hand. Hank jumped back.
"Hahaha!" Hank laughed like an anime character. "You may have taken my sword out, but I still have my dagger!" He threw his dagger at Buck, impaling him in the chest.
"I nearly missed your heart." Hank said. Buck took the dagger out and threw it back at him. But Hank caught in between his two fingers, just inches away from his face.
"Nice try Buck, but you lose!" Hank vanished out of thin air and teleported behind Buck. He turned around and got hit by Hank's chop to the head.
"Aaahhhh!" Buck cried out. "I've got a migraine!" He had a ringing in his ears.
"Will you end your business?" Hank said. Buck hesitated for a moment, still groggy from the fight.
"Fine, you win! Just leave me alone." Buck said. Hank grabbed his katana and went over to Strickland Propane.
*Uses whistle* "I call upon you Guardora!" Hank cried out. Guardora flew over Strickland Propane and blew it up using his atomic breath. Hank got on his dragon and went back home.
"It's just about time for Bobby to wake up." Hank said. He went into Bobby's room, just as he was about to wake up. Hank turned on the lights.
"Good morning my little samurai." Hank said. Bobby rubbed his eyes and got out of bed.
"Here is your garment and katana." He said, as he gave it to Bobby.
"Woa, awesome!" Bobby said. "So what do I do now?"
"You test your powers Bobby. Just don't use it for evil." Bobby put on his outfit and went to school. Hank decided to visit Dale, Bill, and Boomhaur for a beer, since he had nothing else to do. He changed his samurai outfit to his casual white T-shirt and jeans and got a haircut. He looked like his old self again, besides the fact that he was ripped. He saw his friends drinking by the fence, and decided to join them once again.
"Hey guys, look who came back!" Hank said.
"Hank!" His friends said, happy to see him. He grabbed a beer.
"Bill, you look different since the last time I saw you." Hank said. Bill had lost a lot of weight and shaved his body hair. He cleaned himself up, wearing a white T-shirt.
"So I guess your the new Hank." Hank said, as he chuckled. Hank talked about how he became a samurai and said how he made Bobby one too. They talked about their lives and laughed at each other's jokes. Everything was back to normal. Meanwhile, Bobby was flying to school, with his awesome samurai powers. He went inside, as everyone stared at his unusual look.
"Bobby? Are you... a... samurai?" Joseph said in shock. Bobby walked over to him, slowly pulling out his katana.
"Yes I am. Do you know that I am powerful enough to destroy you?" Bobby said, acting very regal.
"Um... Ok?" Joseph said, beginning to get scared. Everyone at school surrounded the two, waiting to see if Bobby would actually destroy Joseph.
"Remember when you called me a samurloser?" Bobby said, placing his sword to Joseph's neck.
"Stop it Bobby!" Joseph said, throwing him to the ground. Bobby got up and lifted Joseph off his feet, using only one hand.
"Have at it!" Bobby cried out, throwing Joseph across the hall. He then proceeded to fire lasers out of his katana, as the rapid strikes caused explosions. The explosions caught the whole school on fire. Joseph dodged his attacks and escaped from the back door, running through the field.
"You won't get away that easily Joseph!" Bobby cried out, as he teleported outside. "Fireball!" Bobby cried, as his katana shot balls of fire at Joseph. Several fireballs hit him, knocking him off his feet.
"Lightning Blaze!" Bobby cried out, as he stabbed his katana into the ground, creating a massive electric earthquake underneath Joseph. It suddenly exploded, hitting him with 80,000 kilowatts, disintegrating Joseph.
"Now then..." Bobby said. "It's time to test my powers..." Meanwhile, Hank was finished with his 15 beers, (he has the ability to consume unlimited amounts alcohol) and went back home. What he saw was a horrified Peggy watching the news.
"Hank... Our little boy's on the news!" Peggy said. "He's destroying the school!"
"Oh no... He joined the dark side!" Hank said.
"What are we going to do?"
"Hhmmm... I could take his soul out and purify it... But sadly I have failed at being a samurai master!"
"So I have dishonored my people. I must do the honorable thing..." Hank grabbed his katana and fell to his knees.
"H-hank? What are you doing?" Peggy said.
"Goodbye Peggy... Dale... Bill... Boomhaur... Ladybird... And even you Bobby..." Hank stabbed and gutted himself. He fell to the ground.
"Agh! Hank!" Peggy cried out. Meanwhile, Bobby was on an unstoppable path. He was flying through the air, with spikey long hair and a lightning aura.
"P... Peggy?" Hank said. "I didn't gut myself right." Peggy did an epic face palm. Bobby shot a huge blast from his mouth, wiping out Arlen.
(Yes, I did rush the ending, but next time I'll spend my time doing the whole story and publishing it as a completed Fan fiction.)