|Hell On The Heart
Author: purplepagoda PM
Spoilers for season 4. Dr. Cooper gets Dr. O'Hara to open up, prompting a breakdown, and revelations. She sheds tears, about the way she's getting the thing she wanted most, at a cost. And, this one is enough to bring the whole world down around her.Rated: Fiction T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,870 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 05-25-12 - Published: 05-21-12 - id: 8139293
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
"Are you going to tell her? Or are you going to let her find out on her own?"
"Tell her what?"
"That you had an affair with her husband, and now you're having his baby?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"Kevin is the father, isn't he?"
"My baby doesn't have a father."
"You're not going to tell him, because you don't want to share."
"Coop, you don't know what you're talking about."
"Jackie knows you, she'll figure it out. You should just tell her."
He expects her to deny, or dispute this. Instead, she starts to cry. She pulls the napkin out of her lap, and pats her eyes, as the tears come.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry. I know, you're pregnant, and emotional, and I shouldn't interrogate you. I'm sorry."
She shakes her head, and puts the napkin on the table. She looks at him, with tears in her eyes, and a wrinkled forehead, as she starts into her ugly cry.
"I was out of line, I'm sorry."
She takes a deep breath, and gets a sip of water. She shakes her head.
"It's not fair," she tells him.
"What do you mean?"
"She had an affair, for years, with no consequence."
"Yeah, but now shit is hitting the fan."
"And, it's all my fault."
"No," he shakes his head, "It's not. You had nothing to do with it."
"I had everything to do with it. I am the one who enabled her addiction, I am the one who helped her lead a double life, I kept the fact that she was screwing Eddie to myself."
"She is responsible for her own shit," he reminds her.
"Yes, but I was the straw that broke the camels back."
"What are you talking about?"
"You were right, I fucked Jackie's husband."
"What? I was just taking a stab in the dark."
"Well, you hit the nail on the head."
"You slept with Kevin?"
"Things happen, people get caught up in the moment, it's understandable."
"No, it's not. I am not that kind of person. I am not a home wrecker. I tore a family apart."
"That situation is not your fault, it would have happened, either way."
"Maybe, but it doesn't really matter."
"You must be pretty unlucky. You sleep with someone once, and get knocked up? And at your age, I've never known anyone to be that fertile."
"It wasn't just once," she admits.
"More times than I can count."
"How long? A couple of weeks, a month?"
"Six, no, that's not right. Eight," she shakes her head, doing the math in her head, "Close to a year," she realizes.
He gives her a deer in the headlights look.
"You're just humoring me, right? You're telling me a story, and making me feel better?"
"No," she replies dryly, "Why would I do that."
"You are being serious."
She simply nods.
"So it's his?"
"Yes," she confirms.
"Are you going to tell him?"
"Are you going to tell Jackie?"
"You should. You should tell them both."
"Why? So I can have my child ripped away from me, too?"
"Secrets eat people, alive."
"Coop, I can't tell anyone. You can't tell anyone, ever, ok? Do you understand? You have to promise me that you won't tell a soul."
"I won't," he swears.
"Good, now can we talk about something else?"
"Why don't you want to tell her?"
"Have you ever been on Jackie's bad side?"
"It's not so bad."
"I am her best friend, her only friend, really. I am the reason that her marriage fell apart. I am the reason that she is fighting for her kids. I am responsible for everything. I am supposed to be her best friend, and I betrayed her trust. I slept with her husband, soon-to-be-ex-husband. And, I am now carrying his child. I do not have a death wish, so I'm not going to tell her.
"What about him?"
"Who? Kevin? We ended things, months ago."
"He did, or you did?"
"Does it matter?"
"I wasn't talking about Kevin, anyway."
"Who were you referring to?"
"The baby. Are you going to tell your son the truth?"
"Maybe one day, when he's about thirty, and I have spent my last penny on his therapy, maybe then, I will tell him."
"It's not good to start a life, with a lie."
"It's all I've got."
"Are you afraid that it's not good enough?"
"Only, every day."
She looks at the clock. She rolls over, and looks at the face of the man, in her bed. He smiles at her.
"What?" he questions.
"You should go."
"I've got time."
"I do not."
"Can't I just stay, a little while, longer?"
"No. You should go."
"Why are you trying to rush me out of here?"
"I don't think that we should do this, anymore. This was a horrible idea. I can't do this anymore. I can't keep lying to Jackie. She's my best friend. I can't believe that I did this to her. It's time for you to go home. Go home, to your wife, to your girls. Go home to your family. I'll be fine."
"What about us?"
"Hell, Kevin, there is never going to be an us. This is... not going to turn into anything. It's just sex."
"I don't believe that, not even for a second."
"Go," she begs.