|All Alone in the Moonlight
Author: xXHeart of GoldXx PM
Glinda can't seem to get over the "death" of Elphaba, so she drinks. Songfic.Rated: Fiction T - English - Angst - Glinda U. - Words: 1,676 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Published: 05-23-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8143907
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I don't own Wicked.
Mix of musical and book.
Glinda stumbled out of the Philosophy Club with a half empty bottle of wine. The door shut behind her as she gulped down some of the alcohol. It didn't burn her throat anymore and it wasn't making her feel numb to her emotions like it used to. She hated that she was beginning to tolerate the amount she consumed. This meant she had to drink more, which she knew wasn't good for her. However, she stopped caring about her health. It was obvious she wasn't taking care of herself, but only if she took off the ridiculous amount of makeup she wore during the day.
It began to rain, but she didn't care. She just let it ruin her hair even further than it already was. Her mascara ran down her cheeks. She stumbled down the streets that were pretty much empty. Glinda found her way into the center of the city and tripped a few times. She didn't seem to care, though, as she ventured on and a carriage splashed her dress with water. She stood and looked up at the dark sky. She took a sip from the wine bottle this time, and stared up at the rain falling down onto her pale face. She could hear the clock tower in the distance ringing to indicate the time.
Not a sound from the pavement
Glinda started to sing. Each note was perfect despite her intoxicated state. She looked up and could see the moon that tried so desperately to provide light for Oz through the thick clouds of rain. However, since it was raining and dark, most people who had common sense and cared about their health stayed in that night. But Glinda had stopped caring.
Has the moon lost her memory?
She is smiling alone
Glinda tried to smile, but to no avail. She wished she could be happy alone, but it was impossible. She was like the moon- all alone in space trying to desperately shed light on people it didn't even know. Glinda tried to shed light on people, too, and make them happy even though they were all complete strangers and loved her for all the wrong reasons.
In the lamplight
The withered leaves collect at my feet
Glinda continued to sing as she looked down at the dead leaves from some of the trees that were allowed to stay standing in the city. They stuck to the wet ground and the light revealed their colors of yellow, orange, and red- the typical colors of autumn that were supposed to be bright and cheerful. Instead, they were dulled by the rain. The wind began to pick up, but not dramatically. It reminded her of the wind at the Suicide Canal by the water during her days at Shiz.
And the wind begins to moan
Her voice was of longing and lost hope, but it was still beautiful, although, no one was there to hear her singing for nobody was out at this time at night, especially in the rain.
All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
The alcohol wasn't stopping the old memories she tried to ignore. There was a time when she was truly happy, back in Shiz with her friends. She had many fond memories of those times. She wished there had been more of them, but ever since Elphaba abandoned her, she didn't have any good memories anymore. Instead, her life slowly came to this, whatever it was.
She remembered a time where she wasn't too thin, she didn't vomit every night because she drank more than she could handle, and her skin had a healthy glow to it. Her eyes weren't the bright blue they once were. They were incredibly dull nowadays, but nobody noticed; nobody cared.
The time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again
Glinda sang and smiled through her tears, just pretending for a moment that she was back in Shiz and catching raindrops on her tongue. She imagined Elphaba holding her hand and trying to get her inside as she clutched her umbrella as if it was a lifeline. She closed her eyes and pretended Elphaba was walking with her through the college campus. However, when she stumbled into a streetlight, Glinda opened her eyes and remembered her harsh reality. She took a swig of the wine, then another, trying to desperately numb any kind of feeling.
Every street lamp
Seems to beat a fatalistic warning
A man had witnessed her bumping into the lamp and muttered something about drunks. He didn't notice this sad person was Glinda the Good, the ruler of Oz.
The streetlamp gutters
And soon, it will be morning
She held the notes out. Whether it was because she was in so much pain or she was just drunk, it didn't matter because it sounded beautiful. The street lamp flickered, eventually going out on its own, probably because the bulb burnt out. She was now standing in the dark as it continued to rain harder than it had been before.
I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life
And I mustn't give in
She tried to pull her life back together after Elphaba's death, but it just wasn't working. She drank and drank and forgot to eat most of the time, resulting in an unwanted ten or fifteen pound weight loss. She was already small, but she was becoming truly fragile mentally, emotionally, and physically. She looked at her wine bottle, went to smash it, but stopped herself and took another swig.
When the dawn comes
Tonight will be a memory, too
And a new day will begin
Glinda would remember the night and repeat it, reliving this memory. But why couldn't she repeat her old memories anymore? She knew she had to give a speech in the morning and continue to rule Oz. She didn't want the new day to begin, though. She'd rather have it stay nighttime forever so she could just drink herself into oblivion and forget everything that had ever happened to her, even those happy memories of Elphaba that haunted her.
Burnt out ends of smoky days
The stale cold smell of morning
A streetlamp dies, another night is over
Another day is dawning
Glinda sang and took another sip of wine. It continued to rain, but the streetlamps were going out, indicating she had spent all night drinking again. She would probably have to go home and sleep for a couple hours before dealing with the Ozians.
In her state, she reached out and imagined that day Elphaba left her to return to Shiz alone, not even giving her the choice. Glinda regretted not running after her, but if she did, she knew she wouldn't have seen Elphaba anyway. Glinda brought herself back to that day.
It's so easy to leave me
All alone with my memory
Of my days in the sun
Glinda sang as she cried and wished Elphaba didn't leave her. She wondered why she did what she did. Why couldn't she have asked Glinda to join her? Instead, Glinda was forced to graduate from Shiz and tried to keep Fiyero from leaving her, too.
If you touch me
You'll understand what happiness is
Look a new day has begun
Glinda finished as she passed out on the side of the road, her wine bottle shattering. It was empty. She drank every last drop.
"What are you doing?" Fiyero asked. Elphaba turned around, letting the tears fall down her cheeks.
"Just look at her! I thought you said she wouldn't be in danger if we didn't tell her," she yelled as she pointed to her crystal ball.
"Glinda's in danger?" the scarecrow asked, looking into the ball.
"She's hurting herself, Fiyero. She just drinks and drinks every night. She's all alone because of me."
"I told you that you shouldn't spy on her with that crystal ball of yours," Fiyero replied.
"I thought she would be happy," Elphaba said truthfully. "I thought she'd pull her life together. Instead, she gets drunk and goes to the Philosophy Club. Oz, what if she gets pregnant or something?" Elphaba worried.
"She won't," Fiyero said evenly. "She cannot have children."
"Sweet Oz!" Elphaba exclaimed. "Oh, poor Glinda. I have to go to her."
"You can't!" Fiyero exclaimed.
"And why not?"
"Because you'd put yourself in danger. And if I lost you- I can't have that, Elphaba."
"I know, but I'm willing to in order to make Glinda better. I'd rather be truly dead so she wasn't hurting herself like this for nothing," Elphaba persisted.
"Please don't," Fiyero pleaded. "I can't lose you. Promise me you'll stay here where it's safe for five more years at least until this whole stupid Wicked Witch of the West thing blows over."
"I promise," Elphaba said, defeated because she knew he was right.
"That's my girl," Fiyero said before kissing her forehead. "Anyway, dinner's ready if you're hungry."
"Go ahead. I'll be down in a minute."
"All right," Fiyero said as he left the room. Elphaba sighed and looked over to her crystal ball. Glinda seemed to have woken up and went home before she could be found. She had been sick in the toilet bowl as she cried.
"Elphie, come back. I can't do this anymore, not without you!" the blonde sobbed on the bathroom floor with her head against her knees, her arms wrapped around her legs. Elphaba cried with her and put a hand on the crystal ball.
"Hold out," she whispered. "Please hold out just a little longer."