Author: TheBlueFoxtrot A Samba PM
Natasha sips tea, Tony plays Guess What I Have, and Bruce wants to sue Marvel. Gen, no pairingRated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Black Widow/Natasha R. & Iron Man/Tony S. - Words: 1,068 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 7 - Published: 05-28-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8157639
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer:I don't own Disney, Marvel, an attention span, or any actual real knowledge of copyright laws as expressed below.
I can't decide my favorite Avenger. I love all of them, even Cap. And I eject Phil's death and say he's secretly alive and his death was a Fury Classic or he's going to be cloned. (I kid)
Bruce Banner returned to Avengers Tower as the team had begun to call it after the media threw it around enough times for it to stick in much the way he usually did. Quiet, quickly, he was observed by only JARVIS and Natasha as Barton was out and about and usually, the two spies were the only people who paid the comings and goings of their teammates any mind. Despite the hulking rage monster inside of, apart of, truly him, Natasha thought he'd be a pretty decent spy what with his nondescript presence. Unlike other loudmouthed, showboating brunettes she could mention who was even now trying to make her guess what his latest gadget was so that he could properly wow her while she held a recently boiling cup of chai tea.
"Come on," Stark grinned in delight at his own overbearing, undeniable genius as he held the sleek, silvery mechanism in the palm of his hand, "Guess what it does. I'll give you a hint…it's awesome."
"Gee, but that could be so many things," she said with unconcealed patronizing dripping from her voice. "It could be anything from a bomb to a sub-space portal device for unlimted ammo."
He caught himself mid eyeroll before lifting his fingers to tap at the arc reactor in his chest. "That last one actually isn't a bad idea. But no. Not even close." Without needing to look for him, he turned to Banner before the other scientist could escape to his room or labs. She was momentarily surprised Stark knew he was there, but then the billionaire had a sixth sense for a captive audience. "Banner, old pal, care to take a guess. Agent Romanov here is woefully unimaginative when it comes to any type of tech that doesn't maim, kill, incapacitate, blow up, other destructive verbs."
Natasha arched a brow, titled her lips in a smile, and took a slow sip of the still steaming brew in a way she knew to be casually pleased. She knew it unnerved Stark at how comfortable she was with any kind of deadly force and the many ways to perform them.
Banner looked at him a long moment, brow pinched in a frown. Stark bounced around lightly, tossing up the small device, unable to hold still. Instead of answering the question, Banner asked another.
"What do you know about Marvel?"
Stark pulled a face. "The toy company? That it's a toy company, not really an interest or threat to Stark Inc. Why? Are you thinking of changing your field of expertise?"
Natasha watched Banner reach into his back pocket and hold out something no bigger than a fist with a grossly over-exaggerated expression of anger, muscles, and green.
"Sweet mother of Joss," Stark enunciated stunned. An instant later, his new toy was forgotten and tossed onto the couch next to Natasha in favor of Banner's, practically snatching it out of the other man's hand. "It's you!"
Stark made a quick, thorough perusal of the toy, looking from it to a frowning Banner several times.
"They got your smile perfectly!"
Natasha knew Stark was being antagonistic but since that was his personality and this was agolden moment, she decided not to fuss. Her tea cup was being used to hide a smile she couldn't quite stifle herself so better not to be a hypocrite anyway.
"Can they do that?" Banner asked, deceptively easy.
"Use the Hulk as a - a…"
"A stuffed, fluffy, huggable bag of beans doll?"
There was a distinct glint that was nearly always present in Stark's deep brown eyes. It was currently bright enough to nearly outshine that arc reactor of his. Banner pressed a hand to his forehead, breathed a sigh, and let it fall. Angry as always, of course, but not enraged. Frustration was only going to move it up though, and the last thing they needed was Hulk being all testy about being made into a beanie baby.
"And here I thought you were brilliant," Stark smirked.
"I'm a doctor part-time Hulk, not a lawyer."
Doll in one hand, Stark became the know-it-all professor with ease, complete with the lazy 'Let me school you a minute' pose.
"All of us have become public figures in the media and they've plastered pictures of us everywhere. As there's already a precedent, someone decided to cash in on your look to make some cash. Unless they have a copyright on you which they can do because the Hulk is something like the Lochness Monster to most people's way of thinking even though you're obviously not, you can sue them for the money and copyrights. I actually have a few lawyers you can borrow if you want. Just bring 'em back in the same condition you got them."
"I am not going to court."
"Because they'll ask for evidence, and I just imagine somebody trying to get the Other Guy out to prove that I actually have any claim to his image."
"Oh, yeah. Yeah, I can actually see somebody being stupid enough to do that."
"I know someone who does it now," Natasha said, standing from the couch in an easy motion that barely made a wave in the tea. That was because it was more than half gone, and she decided a refill was necessary to her continued calm and happiness. Ignoring Stark's innocent bemusement and mounting evidence in her theory of his horrible and short-lived spy career, Natasha touched Banner's shoulder as she walked by.
"Face it, Banner. Even if you did win a lawsuit, no one is gonna be afraid of you now that they've made you into a plush toy."
She couldn't tell by his expression or his body language how he felt about that exactly and thought again it was such a waste that he'd never been a spy.