|I Ate Your Llama
Author: Haddi Etana PM
No, seriously, that's the title! Once upon a time, there was a girl who got a random letter in the mail one day. She then followed a complete stranger, which I do not recommend, to True Cross Academy! I made this for fun, but fun went over board... So this is completely crack-fic, but it can be serious at times... and maybe romantic... UPDATED EVERY THURSDAY.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Adventure - Yukio O. & Rin O. - Chapters: 37 - Words: 86,767 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 03-27-13 - Published: 05-31-12 - id: 8169921
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: New Fanfiction! Yippie! Totally crack-fic, though... So if you can't take a joke, don't read! I don't own anything... besides my character...
ONE IMPORTANT THING! THIS STORY WILL ONLY BE UPDATED ON THURSDAYS!
I ate scumboulicously (A/N The word in my dictionary, just to note) as I sat at my table swinging my feet back and forth like a freaking ninja, if that's even possible. I stared at the raspberry filled donut and stared.
I sat up, then walked to the pantry and my sister stared at me as I did so. I snatched a stick pretzel out of the huge über sexi bag and walked back to my donut and raised the pretzel oh-so-dramadicly then brought it down on to the donut
"DIE MR. JIGGLES!" my sister gave me a hard look of disapprovment as the poor pastery bled.
"MOM! MAYUNIKASUKI IS KILLING HER FOOD AGAIN...BRUTELY" Yes, my name is MayuNikaSuki... my mom combined Mayu, Nika, and Suki together 'cause she couldn't decide.
My, OH-SO-MOMMY-DEAREST ran in very dramatic and smacked my hand away to stop me from injurying the food any further "WHAT THE HELL! I TOLD YOU TO STOP THAT! I THOUGHT THE THERAPIST WORKED!" She sighed and began cleaning up the mess I had made, an irritated expression across her face.
I groaned "That therapist smelt like monkey pee and cow breath" I stood and walked to the kitchen. I stuck my hands into the sink to wash my hands.
My mom sighed and looked at me "Here, this came in the mail for you" she hissed, then a letter to me and I caught it skillfully (cough,itsmackedmynose,cough) and opened it.I scanned it over, farted in the process, got slapped, then continued
"Cooooouuuuullllll... I got a scholarship" I narrowed my eyes at the letter from 'True Cross Academy'.
Both of my relatives gasped "WHAT? How did you get one? You're dumber than a sack of gummy bears" My sister stated out and snatched the letter
"Thanks for the great encouragement nee-san, it was really helpful" My voice dripped of sarcasm.
As you probably noticed, I don't exactly have the best relationship with my family, which you can be more familiar with in the future. All you needa know is that were not exactly the Bradey Bunch.
Once they finished reading it, my mom looked as if three thousand pounds had been lifted off her shoulders "They said it's for your artistic skills, so go pack" My mom said way to cheerfully.
Moments later, after I ignored the strong urge to set her on fire, I was in a car with my two relatives waving bye to me with grins. Nope, not grins of pride for me, grins of relief to have me, the big boulder, out of their way. Psh, I swear, if this letter lead to the mafia, im coming back and im gonna kick some a$$.
The taxi drove off and I snorted, feeling happy myself to be away from them. I looked out the window, watching the clouds. My mind altered to my father and I grinned
Don't worry, Pops. I'll manage myself, maybe get a job. After that, I can see if they have any dorms. if they don't maybe I can ask to stay at someone's house... if anyone actually pay attention to me.
I pretended as if he was talking to me, smiling as I drew my knees to my chest, pretending as if he was sitting next to me with a hand on my shoulder Don't say that, everyone will love you. Your the best Bumble Bee ever.My father calls me Bumble Bee because when I was in a kindergarden play, I was a bumble bee, the lead role!
I continued the conversation in my head until I realized something. We were going down the road to the airport, somewhere I haven't been in years.
"Wait, dude, hold on why are we going to ze air port?" I asked curiously and he peaked at me though the rear view mirror
"Your going to True Cross, right? That's in Japan" he explained dully and my heart lifted six thousand miles to the sky. F¥¢k yeah! I get to meet the friggin mafia and go where Naruto and Inuyasha were made? Thanks mom for giving me a Japanese name so I fit in.
My mom was swelled into Anime things too while my sister doesn't give a flying chickens a$$ about it. Just like our dad.
We made it to the airport, and drove up to the front where he stopped. I felt even more thrilled... that is until I realized something very important. I have three dimes, a paper clip and some lead for my mechanical pencil in my pocket. So how was I going to pay for the airplane fee? Hide inside some dudes luggage. Okay got that down. Now the taxi driver... F¥¢k, I got nothin'.
He walked around and opened my door, then I quickly began to scramble out of the car until the man grabbed my arm
'b¶†¢h' I thought angry and he asked me where his money was. I faced the man and gave a nervous laugh "well...ya see...I-"
"It's right here my good man" I turned my head to see a guy who wore way too much pink walked up with a top hat...a F¥¢king top hat... I was too busy admiring that most holiest object to notice the man paid the bill, pulled me out, grabbed my s#¶t out and the taxi drove off.
He looked at me and grinned "Well what is it MayuNikaSuki?" I cut out of my trance and hugged him
"oh mi gosh, can I wear your top hat Mister?"I cheered and he laughed
"Sure" he only started the word and I took the hat and put it on
"I...feel...awesooome" I cheered and hugged him "yourtotalymybffnow" I spoke quickly and he took his hat, to my displeasure, and pat my head
"Let's get going" he grabbed my bags looking oh-so-flamboyant but oh-so-cool. I then realized he was a complete stranger. Forget the 'no talking to strangers' rule, he's freaken' hot. Plus, I have an advantage. My mom never told me to not talk to strangers, so ha.
"Who are you?" I asked finally and he gave me a bigger grin then what he was wearing. Creeeppy... but so awesome.
"Mephisto Pheles my dear" then did an awe face realizing that he was named after Mephistophelis in a german folktale
"Your named after the demon! That's soooooo coouul" I jumped up and down as he paid for our tickets
"Well, I didn't know kids were interested in stuff like that anymore" he showed a glint -you know, that super uber sexi one- in his eye and I smiled pridefully
"Who wouldn't!" I screamed out. He turned around to walk along, and I began walking to get our bags checked out
"Tell me what you know" he said ever-so-interested.
"Mephistophelis was in The Praxis Magia Faustiana and in 1725, in the original story, he was a devil form of greyfrair, summouned by a man named Faust outside in the woods of Wittenberg." I continued my sexi story, you wanna know the whole tale, google up Mephistopheles and look at it in Wiki. It is something you will not regret reading.
We continued on, and I continued the story, often adding my own comments into it. It went on until the middle of the plane ride, and I finished one of my long side comments.
"You know a lot" Mephisto grinned even more- if that was possible- and I nodded "What about Amaimon?" He questioned curiously
"Oh! My favorite! Amaimon was the prince of hell and as some Girmories say, he was also the only one with the power to rule Asmoidai" I continued, which occupied our time until we made it outside of the port. He seemed really amused when I mentioned he had the breath of poison. Don't worry, I giggled when I first read it too.
I stared absolutely shocked when I saw a pink limo waiting for us "Mephy, not to be mean but... I hate pink" I used his new nickname I choose, and he frowned at my comment
"Why not?" He whined as we got in
"I just don't it's too...girlish" I explained feeling uncomfortable
"Well you are a girl, are you not?" The man sat back comfortable
"Well, I'm a tomboy, and I prefer red much more. Wait, WERE ARE WE GOING? WHY AM I IN YOU CAR? FFFFFFFFFFF MR. MUSTACHIO, SAVE ME" I began to scratch at the windows with my stomach sticking out like a cat.
A couple of minutes of yelling and smacking, I calmed down "I'm the principle of True Cross" he finally admitted while I sat with a stone face, motioning him to continue "You're studying to be an Exorcist"
"I AM? SOOOO coooooolll... wait, I thought it was because of my aristic skills?" I raised a brow "If it's not because of that, then why did you pick me to be an Exorcist?" I raised a brow.
He crossed his legs causally "Well. I lied about it being because of your artistic, it's actually your knowledge on demons. That's a very rich source of information, and you know a lot about different types of demons... I also had to recruit you because you had hacked into a site for strickly Exorcist only" He raised a brow at me, and my face became bright red
"W-Well, it was tempting!" I cried, smiling sheepishly while rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly
"Anyways" He sighed "I found out about who you are at first when scrolling through the internet, finding one of your paintings on a whole bunch of demons in a circle" He explained.
I perked up "You mean 'Onyx Crowd'? That's my most famous piece!" I cheered
"Yes, I've noticed. Now, I saw it and began wondering how you knew about of them, but shrugged it off as something unimportant. After that, I got a report saying you hacked into our data basis... So then I sent the letter and knew you were coming. Someone like you wouldn't give up a chance like this"
"And your right" I smirked.
We chatted away after that, and since I'm to lazy to find them to say anything important besides twinkies, ho hos and other disgusting named treats that are delicious, there are no more conversations in the limo.
We ended up in front of a door under a road and he handed me a key
"This will lead to cram school-"
"is it like spam?" I interrupted and he shook his head, irritated that I always cut him off "
No. Its cram school. Now shut up and listen" cue pouting "Now, this is connected to tunnels under the school. You will be staying in the girls dorms-"
"I WANNA STAY IN THE BOYS! I REFUSE TO SLEEP WITH GIRLY FREAKS"
"CAN YOU SHUT UP?"
"LET ME STAY IN THE BOYS DORMS! -"
"Okay!" He sighed, angered.
I grinned, finally getting what I wanted "Thank you awesome person man!" I cheered, happily and he just calmed down.
This must be some kind of record, he is the first one to last at least 24 hours and not get mad at me for being annoying. He explained to me not to tell others in regular school that I was a super ninja exorcist and some other junk like that, that I decided to ignore.
He then left, leaving me all alone to fend for my self "Soh meaneh" I grumbled and used to key to get in. After minutes of struggling, I finally got in (never had good luck with keys). I walked inside and ran to the room he told me to go to for class. But then again, I had ignored him...
Okay, last resort... "HEEELPPPEHHHX" I shrieked loudly, and waited for something to happened. A boy around my age walked out from a nearby classroom door
"Whats the matter?" He sighed
"Oh, hai there, yeah I'm lost. Where's Yukio Okumura's class?" Psh, I knew those free Japanese classes behind the school from a Japanese girl gang would pay off. All I did was had to buy them cigarettes. Don't worry, we were only ten and a half.
He nodded "Your late" he opened the door for me and I sat there for a moment, observing the boy. Lot's of moles and glasses. Niiiceeeee.
"Dang, I really need to start listening!" I cried, thinking about how I ignored what Mephy was saying, and skipped inside to the front of the class.
The guy cleared his throat, catching the attention of everyone. They were different bundles of kids. The dude continued "Everyone, this is MayuNikaSuki Johnson, and what is your excuse for being late?"
My eyes widen, but then narrowed sharp "It's that DAMN FRIGGIN' LOCK! I HATE YOU KEEEYYSS!" I yelled, dramatically and he rolled his eyes "Have a seat" he ordered.
I narrowed my eyes at him "Psh! Screw you too pipop..." I grumbled lowly "Detention" he said, causing me to groan. I sat down where no one was sitting and began grumbling insults under my breath.
I hate Okumura already.
A/N: Did you like it? Hate it? Love it? Wanna see it get burned in flames? Reveiw! I accept criticism openly with open arms! I'd to thank moonlightrurouni for giving me tips... but not much on spelling XD! So go reveiw... riiiightt... noooow... just down there... that button right there