|That's What He Said
Author: cruiz107 PM
Bella thinks Edward is an arrogant jerk; he thinks she's...not so nice. However, they're forced to come together when their friends start to mingle. WRITTEN FOR Kate Sunsetwing Lucy/Sunsetwing FOR FAGE 4 GIFT EXCHANGERated: Fiction M - English - Humor/Romance - Bella & Edward - Chapters: 6 - Words: 19,343 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 88 - Updated: 01-05-13 - Published: 06-01-12 - id: 8170679
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Title: That's What He Said
Written for: Kate Sunsetwing Lucy/Sunsetwing
Written By: Cruiz107 (me)
Prompt: They hate each other.
Summary: Bella thinks Edward is an arrogant jerk; he thinks she's a bitch. However, they're forced to come together when their friends start to mingle.
I heard the buzzer of my phone's alarm clock going off and turned it off immediately. I was even able to do it without actually looking at the screen. When it was quiet again, I fell back to sleep. I don't know how much later it was, but I woke with a start. It felt like I had been sleeping too long. Grabbing my phone I realized that I only had a little more than an hour to get to class. I could make the hour drive to Port Angeles in forty minutes.
Pulling the same jeans on I wore yesterday and a grey hooded sweater, I grabbed my bag and ran out the door. Instead of brushing my teeth, I popped a piece of gum into my mouth. Coffee was out of the question until after my first class. Just thinking about the wait made me groan.
I dialed one of my best friend's number and put it on speaker phone. "Running late again," Jasper stated matter-of-factly after picking up on the third ring.
"It's not my fault, douche. It's yours and that bitch you call a sister's fault for keeping me up late last night," I stated as I rounded a sharp corner.
"Yeah, because Jasper and I forced your ass to get drunk at La Push," Rosalie, my other best friend, shouted over the line. I rolled my eyes.
"Whatever. Are you guys on campus?" I asked.
"Yeah. We're heading to the café, do you want a coffee?" Jasper asked.
I moaned in appreciation. "I'd blow you for a fucking cup of coffee right now."
"You mean again?" he joked.
"Jasper. Just get me the fucking coffee. I'll see you in thirty." I hung up and shook my head at Jasper's choice of words.
I had orally satisfied Jasper before. I had reached all the bases with him - hit a damn home run, actually. Jasper was the first and only person that I had actual sex with. I had guys go down on me, but could never bring myself to have full on sex with them.
Losing my virginity to Jasper felt like the right thing to do. We, along with his twin Rosalie, were best friends and I was comfortable being around him. I knew the first time was going to be messy and awkward, so I figured doing it with Jasper would at least prevent the awkwardness. And it did. Not only because we were friends, but because it was his first time, too.
Because our friendship was that strong, we were able to move on from our first time without the feeling of weirdness creeping in. We never began dating, but still explored each other sexually. I guess we helped each other. He would tell me what guys like when receiving head and I would do the same in return. It wasn't until I learned that Alice Brandon harbored a thing for him that I flaunted my sexual relationship with him. I would kiss him on the lips in greeting and departure whenever she was around. He knew something was up, but just went with it since he despised her and her friends just as much as I did.
I hated that they looked down on people because they came from money, while the rest of us struggled to stay afloat. Really, it made no sense since we were all in community college. On a more personal level, I had heard the comment she made about me without knowing the full story. I witnessed firsthand how they laughed about me behind my back. Assholes.
Among the people of Forks, I stood out. Tattoos littered my left arm creating an almost full sleeve. My ears were gauged to a size seven, and I had a labret and industrial piercing. Jasper and Rosalie were great through it all. They went with me to get my first tattoo. I even convinced them to get an alteration of their own. Jasper got his tongue pierced, which felt amazing against my skin, and Rosalie got a tattoo on her side.
I wasn't an attention seeker, like most people assumed. As a matter of fact, I could happily stay in my bubble with just my best friends for the rest of my life. I just believed that we were born with a natural canvass. Some people utilized it, some didn't; to each their own. I loved looking down to my wrist and remembering the day I got that certain tattoo and why. I had sixteen tattoos and counting – each one of them held a memory for me.
I started getting tattoos my junior year of high school and only a handful of people knew why. The summer after sophomore year I was in a bad car accident with my uncle Phil, my father's brother. I was sitting in the back sit while Phil drove and his wife Maria sat up front. In an attempt to avoid hitting a deer, he swerved causing the car to flip over. When the driver's side of the car hit the pavement it shattered the windows. A larger, jagged piece of glass had lodged itself in my arm, tearing down the skin as the car began scraping against the ground.
While in the hospital I learned that I had lost a lot of blood, but it could have been worse had the glass dislodged itself. However, I had lost almost all the feeling in my upper arm and had to go to physical therapy to regain the use of it. It still isn't completely back, but it's a lot better than it was. Since this all took place during the summer, while driving in Seattle, no one aside from family and Rose and Jasper knew about it.
However, I had an ugly reminder every time I looked in the mirror. There was an ugly, puckered scar that was about five inches long and two inches wide. Because I was afraid of other people scrutinizing my scar, I would always wear long or three quarter sleeve shirts. I would sit in front of the mirror for hours and just stare at the scar which depressed me to no end. I was beyond grateful when Charlie agreed to let me get a tattoo to cover it up. I already knew what I wanted so I spent my time researching different artists in the Port Angeles and Seattle areas. I had a large purple heather flower tattooed over the offending scar.
After the first tattoo I had become addicted. One tattoo turned into two, which turned into six, which turned into sixteen. Not only had I developed a love for getting tattooed, but a love for the art itself. I knew that I wanted to eventually tattoo for a living. It was just luck that I was fairly good at sketching.
My classmates had a difficult time getting used to it. They gawked and pointed and whispered. I could easily ignore it since I had grown up with these people and had long ago learned of the sheep tendencies. I thought that once I went to college everything would change.
I was right to a point. Most of it did stop, but Port Angeles was only slightly bigger than Forks. Running into the same people everyday wasn't an oddity. That was the case with Edward, Alice, and Emmett. We weren't friends, but would run into each other every so often.
I constantly caught Edward and Alice staring at me and whispering to each other. Emmett never seemed to care. If I was going to be honest with myself, I think I could admit that I actually didn't hate Emmett. We had one class together my first semester there. We conversed and it was never about his friends. He asked about certain tattoos and asked if anything hurt. It was too bad he was friends with that jerk and the bitch. Let's not forget about the fact that he laughed when Edward called me a tatted freak.
I pulled into the small student parking lot and parked my beat up truck in the shadiest spot I could find. The truck had character, like me, and it was hard for me to let it go even though I guess it was a piece of crap.
I pulled out my phone and saw that I only had ten minutes until class. I raced to the quad, where I always met up with Jasper and Rosalie, to collect my cup of joe. I spotted the two blonds sitting lazily and shielding their eyes from the sun with their hands. They had class with me and they looked way too calm to be sitting there.
"Gimmie that and let's go." I snatched the cup from Jasper and began speed walking to class. When I didn't hear them behind me, I turned to see them as they remained seated and watched me with identical comical expressions.
"What the fuck? Let's go!" I shouted over to them.
"Nah, I think we're going to stay here," Rose replied.
"Whatever. I can't miss this class." I turned back around and headed to the Ackman Building where my class was scheduled.
"Bella," Jasper called out.
"What?" I responded impatiently.
"Class was cancelled." A wide grin spread across both of their faces, making me want to smack the shit out of them both.
I stomped my way back to them. "You're both assholes, you know that? Why the hell didn't you say anything?"
"Serves you right," Rose laughed. "Don't think we don't know that you turned off your alarm and that's why you slept in. Take this as a lesson learned."
"Learn this," I said, grabbing my boob, making them laugh.
When the laughter died down, I noticed that the only empty bench in the quad was now occupied, and of course it was by them. I rolled my eyes and tried focusing on my friends instead. However, the looks on their faces told me that they had seen them, too.
"So, Bella, about that blowjob?" Jasper asked loud enough for them to hear. It became quiet on their end so I knew they had. I knew what Jasper was doing. He liked sticking it to them just as much as I did.
I straddled his lap and dug my fingers into his hair. His head lulled back dramatically and he moaned loudly. "I haven't tasted my coffee yet, Jasper. How do I know that it's worthy of my magical blow job skills?"
Rosie gagged to the side of us. "Would the both of you get a room? Some of us don't want to see Jasper whip his dick out right here. Right Alice?" she said. Both Jasper and I held back our snickers at her classy comment. Rose was the absolute best. When I looked over to the three of them, sure enough, they were staring at us. Emmett looked on, wide-eyed, Edward looked pissed, and Alice looked like she was about to cry.
Alice had a thing for Jasper that she didn't hide very well. And I think Emmett sported a woody for Rose, but I couldn't be sure. Edward? Well he despised me before I despised him. Fuck 'em all.
I got up from Jasper's lap, but not before giving him a searing kiss. I dug out a small pack of tissues that I kept in my bag and threw it to Alice.
"Don't cry in public, sweetie. It's not becoming and people will stare."
"Fuck you, Bella. You're such a fucking bitch," Edward shouted as I was grabbing my coffee.
"No thanks, Eddie. Jasper already has that covered." I palmed Jasper's crotch for emphasis. I blew them all a kiss and we began walking away.
"That was really fucked up, Bella," Rosalie laughed when we were far enough away, texting away on her phone. "I think I really heard her heart breaking. I think she would sell her right foot to kiss Jasper."
I had to stop walking as I doubled over in laughter. She was so right.
"Eh, I'd fuck her," Jasper said, noncommittally. This sobered me right up. Jasper never admitted to wanting to have sex with someone because he simply didn't.
"You like her," I accused. I wasn't really angry, but shocked. I never told him or Rose that they couldn't talk or hang out with them. They made that decision on their own when they found out why I hated them.
"No, I don't," he denied quickly…too quickly.
"Seriously, Jasper? Now I know you do. Why the hell do you go along with me when I do that shit in front of her?" Now I was pissed off. If he liked her then this was some seriously fucked up shit we were doing to her. It was all fun and games when I thought he hated her, but now I felt like shit. That didn't mean I was going to apologize, though. I was a bitch, but I wasn't heartless.
"I don't like her!" he shouted defensively. "I just think she's kinda cute." Rose and I shared a knowing look. However, there was something else in her eyes and she looked back to her brother. I knew what it was. We were friends much too long for me not to recognize it; sympathy.
"You too, Rose?" She looked at me like I had grown a second head, but didn't immediately deny it.
"I don't know what you're talking about," she uttered, while inspecting her nail.
"Hold up, hold up, hold up," I repeated frantically. "It's him, isn't it?" I asked. "Emmett is the guy that you've been texting?"
"No!" she denied vehemently. However, she didn't realize that she was still clutching it in her hand. I snatched it away before she even realized what I had done.
"Bella," she said, in a calm but warning tone. "I'm not gonna chase you. Give me that phone back." I ignored her and pressed the screen in the appropriate places to get to her text messages. "Bella, I'm warning you. Give me my phone back right the fuck now."
"Feelin' froggy?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow at her while still holding unto her phone without any intention of giving it back until I was done. She huffed but made no move to retrieve her phone. She knew I would, without a doubt, fight her until I got what I needed. She intimidated many, but not me.
"Watch her," I instructed Jasper while I found what I was looking for. It was like she wasn't even trying to hide it. In plain letters, was Emmett's name. After selecting it, I scrolled to the very beginning of the thread. Unfortunately, their very first text message wasn't available anymore. I scanned the messages quickly, especially the more suggestive ones. I was almost done, when two of them completely stopped me in my tracks. I looked up to a worried looking Rosalie.
"He…loves you?" She nodded. "And…you love him?" She nodded again, taking her lip between her teeth. I threw the phone back at her, which Jasper managed to catch.
"I gotta go," I said tersely, and turned to leave.
"Bella, c'mon. Please don't be mad. I was going to tell you, but I just didn't know how," she called out to my retreating form. I stopped and took a deep breath before turning around.
"I'm not mad that you…love him. I'm pissed that you think that I'm such a fucked up person that I couldn't be happy for you." I turned to Jasper. "What about you? Do you love Alice?"
He looked taken aback and truly shocked, before he turned sheepish. "No, I don't love her, but I do kinda like her," he admitted. That's all I needed to know.
"I'll see you guys later. I gotta do that…thing."
"Wait," Jasper called out this time.
"Look, I just need some time to wrap my brain around all this new information. I'll call after my next class is over." They finally accepted my departure without another word.
I stomped back to the quad – I was on a mission. Despite what I said, I was pissed and I needed to take it out on someone. Or multiple people, actually. Thankfully, for me and maybe them, Edward and his friends were still sitting on the same bench. Alice still looked upset while Emmett tried to comfort her and Edward looked pissed. I rolled my eyes at the Three Stooges as I approached them.
"The fuck do you want?" Edward spat when I was standing in front of them.
"Not you, that's for damn sure," I lied. If he wasn't such an asshole, I would have ridden that disco sick a long time ago.
"Don't you think you caused enough damage," he replied. I rolled my eyes at his dramatics, but still felt a little shitty for what I had done.
"You're such a fucking girl," I spat.
"One of us should be."
I flipped him the bird in response.
"Anyway," I said, elongating the word. "Emmett, walk with me." I tilted my head behind me and stared at him, not allowing him to refuse.
"What, you wanna fuck him, too?" Alice seethed.
"Look, don't fuck with me. I can be your best goddamn friend or I can make you hate me more than you already do. Trust me, you want me as your friend." I smirked and grabbed Emmett's arm to leave.
When we were far enough from his pack, I stopped and tried staring him down. Unfortunately, he looked more amused than anything.
Ugh, I think I actually like this oaf!
"You hurt my best friend, I'll shave your pubes and shove 'em down your throat… then I'll kill you."
His jaw dropped. "You know?"
"I just found out. I'm a bitch, not a love Nazi, and if you love each other, then love each other. Don't not be together because of me."
He surprised me by wrapping me in a tight hug and swinging me around. Even more surprising was that I was laughing and hugging him back.
"Do they know?" I asked, when he finally put me down.
"No. I guess I haven't told them for the same reason Rose hadn't told you." He looked sad. I wanted to kick my own ass for knowing that I was the main reason why both Rosalie and Emmett had to hide their love affair.
"Well, that's on you to tell them." He nodded in agreement. "Let's head back. I gotta talk to Alice."
He grabbed my wrist when I started walking ahead of him. He had a worried look in his eyes.
"Please, don't," he begged.
"God!" I groaned. "Just trust me." He looked at me quizzically before he began walking again.
"You," I said pointing to Alice. "Come," I demanded.
"I'm not a dog, you know."
"Fine," I smirked. "I'll go see what Jasper's doing." That got her off her ass like it was on fire. She was too easy. We walked the same distance away as I did with Emmett. She was first to talk.
"So was I right? Do you plan on fucking Emmett now?" she sneered.
I clenched my fists and took calming breaths, reigning in my anger so I didn't knock this heifer out.
"Listen, because I sure as shit am only going to say this one time. If I knew that you and Jasper had a…thing for each other then I wouldn't have kissed him all those times in front of you. So this is me apologizing. Jasper is loyal to a fault and went along with everything, despite his feelings for you. In a nutshell, what I'm saying is that I'm going to back off and let whatever it is between you two flourish, and all that bullshit."
Her expression was similar to Emmett's. "He has feelings for me?" she whisper-squealed.
"I don't know about feelings, but he likes you. I guess that could be the same thing, I dunno."
"Oh Bella!" She jumped and clapped at the same time.
What the fuck?
I cleared my throat uncomfortably. "Yeah, so anyway." I had no idea where I was heading. "Go, be free." I waved her away. However, instead of walking back to her friends she jumped on me and hugged my just as tightly as Emmett had. This time, I patted her back awkwardly.
When I walked her back to her chaperones, Emmett was grinning at me like an idiot while Edward scowled at me.
"You're turn, big boy." I beckoned Edward over with my finger, smilingly sweetly at him. "Just get the fuck over here, Edward," I demanded, when he didn't listen the first time.
I didn't bother going as far with him, since there really was nothing too serious to discuss.
"So, it's come to light that my friends have a thing for your friends…" I said before he cut me off.
"Wow! You're a fucking genius," he replied sarcastically.
"Fuck you very much. As I was saying, since I recently found out about this fuckery, I just want us both to be prepared for what this might mean. We may have to hang out here and there, so just stay out of my way and I won't knee you in the balls. Fair enough?"
"As long as you don't make me break my rule of not hitting females, then we're square."
Sure enough, as the weeks progressed so did Rose and Jasper's relationships with Emmett and Alice. Emmett was cool as shit. We even went as far as exchanging numbers and talking when Rose wasn't around – strictly on a friend basis. Alice was, alright, I guess. She was nice enough, but way too girly for my liking. Apparently, it was just enough for Jasper.
Edward and I exchanged words here and there, but nothing that would constitute a real conversation. And we never talked outside of the group. All six of us were a group now. Go figure!
We were all seated around one of the larger tables in the coffee shop that was located just off the campus. I was the last one seated, and unfortunately, stuck sitting next to Edward. The longer I sat, the more the air around me became stifling. I removed my jacket leaving me in my sleeveless sweater, exposing my tatted arms to everyone at the table. I could feel three pairs of eyes on me, but ignored it by playing with my phone. Conversation still seemed to flow around me, but I couldn't shake the feeling that they were still staring.
"What about you, Bella?" Alice asked me from across the table. I looked at her curiously as I completely missed her question.
"I said what are you doing once you're finished at the college."
"Oh. Um, I'm going to look into apprenticeships at some tattoo parlors. I'm just here because they have pretty good art courses. I wanted a little education under my belt go I don't start completely green."
"That's awesome, B," Emmett said, grinning. "Maybe I can be your first client. You can do a whole back piece of Rosie's face," he laughed. Rosalie narrowed her eyes at him, but I could tell that she actually liked the idea of her face on him permanently.
The conversation turned into that of the benefits and disadvantages of having someone's name or likeness on their body. Personally, I thought it was a bad idea, but I would never tell a client that.
I let the voice fade away as I continued to browse through my phone. I didn't particularly want to be here right now. As I was contemplating whether I should purchase Doodle Jump or not, I heard Jasper hiss. I looked up immediately and saw that Edward was tracing his finger around the heather tattoo.
I violently swatted his hand away. "The fuck are you doing? Didn't your parents teach you to keep your hands to yourself?" It pissed me off that I couldn't feel his finger on my skin in the first place.
"Sorry." He held his hands up in surrender. "But since you didn't say anything right away, I didn't think it was a problem. I thought you liked it," he replied, smirking cockily.
"No, asshole. I don't have feeling in that arm," I informed him. His face revealed nothing but shock.
"Fuck. I … I didn't know," he stuttered.
"That's right, you don't know me." Apparently, though, that didn't keep him from talking shit about me. "I'm peacin' out," I told Jasper and Rosalie. I grabbed my sweater and cup of coffee when I saw them begin to get up. "No, just stay. I'm fine; I just need air." They hesitated, but complied.
The whole way back to campus was spent stewing on my anger. My anger for letting him get so close to something that was still so sensitive to me. Anger at the embarrassment I felt for having that little scene happen in front of so many people. And anger at Edward for being such an asshole and preventing something that could have developed between us – even if it was just a friendship. But that fact that he thought of me as a freak, put that notion to bed awhile ago.
I opened my truck door just to have it shut in my face by a strong force. I whirled around to see an angry looking Edward.
What? The fuck? Is your problem?" I screamed at him.
"No, that's my question! What the hell did I ever do to you to make you hate me so much?" he screamed right back.
I laughed humorlessly. "Oh, that's fucking rich! Don't act like you don't hate me either."
"I don't like you because you act like a massive bitch to me and my friends for no fucking reason."
"No reason? So you didn't call me a freak when you didn't even know me?"
"What are you talking about? I've never called you a freak."
"I fucking heard you! You didn't tell Emmett and Alice that I was a tattooed freak?" I challenged, as I stood mere inches from his face.
"What the…" He looked at me like I had grown a second head, until recognition shone in his eyes. He groaned into his hand. "I wasn't talking about you," he shouted.
"Right…okay." I rolled my eyes. "I gotta go."
"Shit! Just wait." He waited until he was sure I wasn't going to bolt before he continued. "I was talking about some chick named Heidi. Do you know her?" I shook my head impatiently. "Anyway, she came on to me – showing me all these tattoos." He laughed to himself as he recalled something funny. I grew even more impatient.
"You're point?" I asked, irritated. He sobered quickly.
"Sorry. Anyway, I didn't like her, but I humored her anyway. So as I was looking closely at her tattoos, I noticed that they were peeling." He widened his eyes, wanting me to understand where he was going.
"What? They were fading? That happens."
"No. They were fake – like the kind you pick up at the grocery store checkout line," he laughed. My own eyes widened in amusement. "Anyway, I told Emmett and Alice about it and that's who you heard me call a tattooed freak."
I took a moment to think about what he just told me, but some stuff still didn't make sense.
"If that's true then why were you and Alice always staring at me and whispering? Or was I imagining that, too?"
"No, you weren't imagining that." He inhaled slowly and exhaled even slower. "Do you want to know why Heidi put all those things on her body? Or at least why I think she did."
"Why?" I asked to humor him, but rolled my eyes anyway.
"Well, she had a tendency to… hover I guess you can say. Anyway, I think that she overheard a conversation that I was having with Alice and Emmett about…" He stopped there, pondering his next words. "Someone." He looked at me intently, willing me to know who he meant without actually having to say it.
"You, okay? We were talking about you," he answered, when he realized I didn't know who he was talking about. "I told them that there was someone who I was interested in, but I didn't know your name so I just started describing you. I think Heidi overheard because two days later she approached me and starting showing me all these tattoos."
"Oh? That's all you can say?" he asked, angrily. "You've been a total bitch to me and my friends over a complete misunderstanding. I think that at the very least I deserve some kind of an apology."
"Apology?" I asked, bewildered. "How the hell was I supposed to know you weren't talking about me? It's not like there are a lot of chicks walking around campus with as many visible tattoos as me."
"Fine, granted, but why are you taking your hatred out on my friends?"
"Because I see the way you all look at me and whisper."
He groaned again. "Because every time we would see you, they would try to convince me to talk to you – hash things out. That's why."
"Well…how was I supposed to know?" I yelled again, at a complete loss of words. I was wrong and becoming defensive so any form of apology was out of the question. I was too proud.
"You could have talked to me," he yelled back. "Look," he continued after a few seconds of silence. "We can't change the past, so why not just move on and start over. Maybe we can be friends?"
I agreed, feeling like a complete asshole for thinking so poorly about all of them.
Edward actually proved to be a really cool guy. The first time we hung out alone, he pulled up his sleeve to show me the tattoo that took up the majority of his upper left arm. I don't know why I wasn't surprised to see it.
Somewhere along the way, we both actually admitted to being attracted to each other despite our "rivalry". Our first date was a triple date with Alice, Jasper, Rose, and Emmett. For the first time, I allowed myself to enjoy the company of all of us together. Alice was still a bit girly for my taste, but she was growing on me. Although I was having fun, I was still craving alone time with Edward. He must have thought the same thing because before the night was through, he asked me out on another date – just the two of us. Because we were both busy with homework for classes and work, we kept it simple with just dinner.
"So you know why I'm in community college. What's your story?" I asked, while we waited for our entrees.
"I don't have a story – that's why I'm in community college."
"Well, I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life so my parents said that they weren't going to waste money on courses just for me to figure out that I didn't even need or want them. They told me to enroll in PACC to at least get my core classes out of the way and maybe figure out what my next step is going to be."
"Alright, so what do you like to do? If you could spend all day doing just one thing what would it be?" I asked right as our food was served. He waited until the waiter left to answer.
"I don't know – music, I guess," he replied, unsure.
"You can't do music, so what about music specifically?" I asked, as I cut up the chicken in my chicken fettuccini alfredo.
"Everything. I can sit and listen to it all day – every genre. I've composed some original songs and reworked some classics."
"That's a start. How about taking some music appreciation classes or even creative writing, to help with composing? Start small and go from there. Maybe, after a while you'll get a better feel of what you want, whether it's music or something else."
Instead of responding, or even eating, he just stared at me blankly. Had I over stepped my bounds?
"I should probably mind my own business, huh?"
"No, no, no," he quickly responded. "You're just amazing." His sweet smile turned into a grimace. "Actually, I think I'm a little pissed at you right now," he stated, causing me to choke on a noodle.
"What? Why? What did I do?" I spluttered.
"Because of your assumptions. This," he said motioning between us, "could have happened sooner." He immediately cracked a smile, revealing that he wasn't seriously upset. However, I still felt guilty.
"I'm sorry," I apologized for the ninth time. Somewhere along the line, I was able to put on my big girl panties and admit that I was wrong. He reached around the table to grab my free hand.
"I was just joking. However, we can both take blame for what was going on between us. I guess we're both stubborn, moronic people."
The rest of our meal went the same way. He continued talking about his love for everything music. Anyone could tell that he was in love with music the way he talked about it.
We were in the middle of dessert when he finally managed to shock me.
"So what happened to your arm?" he asked casually. My hand stopped midway to my mouth.
"What do you mean?" I asked cautiously.
"Well, you told me, rather screamed at me, that you didn't have feeling in that arm, and then there's that scar you covered with that tattoo."
My eyes widened and I could feel sweat begin to bead around my hairline.
"No one's noticed the scar before," I whispered, as I finally put my fork down. "No one's ever looked closely."
"I notice everything about you. Like how you're really grumpy without coffee in the morning, or how you rub your eyes when you're frustrated, or how you look up when someone is saying something you don't agree with." He was confident in his answers. I had no choice but to answer honestly.
"I was in a car accident when I was in high school. A piece of glass from the window stabbed me and I lost most of the feeling in my upper arm. I can feel a hard punch, things like that, but not light or soft touches. And I don't have the strength to lift heavy things."
"Is that why you got that tattoo, to cover the scar?"
"Mainly, but I choose this particular flower a reason."
"Heathers are said to symbolize admiration and good luck. I admired my uncle for fighting for his life when the doctors weren't sure he was going to pull through. Obviously, good luck, since we all survived. And heathers are thought to have healing powers, so maybe having this tattoo will heal me of the insecurity the scar gives me."
He was silent a while and it just served to make me nervous. Maybe I had brought the mood down.
"You know you're beautiful, right?" he finally asked. I widened my eyes in surprise. I wasn't expecting that at all. "I'm serious. I mean, you're beautiful with your tattoos, but that's not what it is. Honestly, that's what caught my attention in the beginning, but it isn't what kept it. It's like your smile can light the sky and your laugh is the most infectious thing. I thought so even when I hated you, and I think that played a part in the reason why I didn't like you. I would tell myself that I shouldn't be attracted to you, but I couldn't."
I think that's when I started to fall in love with Edward.
From that night, we spent almost every night together. It was also the beginning of me actually appreciating that the six of us had become a group. If not, I'm sure I wouldn't see Jasper and Rosalie as much.
It was two months to the day that Edward and I had become official that I decided that I was finally ready to take that next step with him. I don't know why, but I didn't want to rush into sex with him. It was different with him and I didn't want to ruin it by having sex. I had realized two weeks after our first date that I was in love with him. It scared me that I was able to fall so hard so fast. It worried me that Edward was just infatuated with me – the fact that he conquered the girl who couldn't stand him. I wanted to tell him that I loved him, but just the thought of rejection crushed me.
"I smell smoke." He sniffed the air as he sat next to me on my bed. "You must be thinking really hard about something," he said seriously. I laughed despite myself, but shoved him hard anyway.
"Seriously, though, is everything okay?" he asked.
"Yeah, considering I'm about to let you have your way with me in my dad's house, everything is peachy."
"Come again," he said quickly, his eyes bugging out.
"In a few minutes, the lights are going to be shut off and you and I are about to get our freak on." I tried to make light of the situation. I was trying to get over the nervousness that I was feeling. I never felt nervous around guys, but Edward just did that to me.
"So I'm going to have my wicked way with you under your dad's roof? I don't know if I should think that's badass or fucking stupid," he laughed.
"Well, he's not here – won't be back until tomorrow night." I took my bottom lip between my teeth, trying to look seductive, yet innocent. Based on his sexy smirk, I think it worked.
"Well, in that case…"
He stood in front of me as I remained seated on my bed. Without words, he began removing my t-shirt and then bra. It wasn't until he unhooked the clasp, that I could feel my body going rigid.
"Stop," I demanded. Using one arm, I prevented the bra from completely exposing my chest. "I can't do this," I cried.
Edward looked frantic as he quickly retracted his whole body from mine and took a step back.
"Why? What happened?"
"Because I love you," I blurted out. "And I don't think you love me back and when you throw me away I don't think I'll be able to handle it so it's better if we just don't do this. We should just move on," I said in a rush of breath, choking on my unshed tears.
There was a long pregnant pause. I knew I was right; he knew I was right. It was the only logical reason.
"You'll never change, will you?" Edward said, almost menacingly. "There you go again making assumptions about me when you don't know anything."
I was gaping like a fish, taken aback by his harsh abruptness.
"Everything was going well and you had to ruin it," he continued. "How do you know that I don't love you?"
"I…I don't know. I just figured…" I tried explaining, but was failing miserably.
"Exactly, you don't know, so stop speaking for me. You'll never stop being a bitch," he finished, sounding exasperated.
"Hey!" I shouted petulantly. "Fuck you. I was trying to save both of us the headache, but fuck you very much, asshole." I was no longer sad, or hurt, or guilty. I was fucking livid. Edward only pissed me off further when he began smirking.
"What the hell are you smiling at? My father has a gun around here somewhere – I'll shoot you in the ass." I don't know what the hell I was talking about, but I was pissed enough to think it made sense.
"You're cute, you know that?" he asked and I rolled my eyes. "But you know what I love about you? I love your mouth and the dirty filth that comes out of it and how much of a bitch you sound most of the time. I love your tattoos and how much you love them. I love how loyal you are to those you care about. I love how you already have your life figured out. But mostly, I love that despite the fact that at times you hate me, you still love me. And because of all that…I love you, too."
Gaping. I was still gaping. Edward was chuckling softly as he sat down next to me.
"So…you love me…too?" I asked stupidly.
He nodded. "So much."
And just like the girl I resented so much in Alice, I felt my eyes getting watery at his very unorthodox declaration of love.
With that, we picked up where we left off only moments before as I whispered the filth that he loved so much.
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