|Freelancers vs SPARTANs
Author: 1-1 Marines PM
It's been a while since I've played Halo, so forgive any mistakes please. Basically Dr. Halsey and Director Church get into a fight and we get a little competition to resolve their squable. AU of course. R&R.Rated: Fiction T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 26 - Words: 14,999 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 05-11-13 - Published: 06-01-12 - id: 8173264
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
ME: Alright, this'll be my first Halo/Red vs. Blue fanfic. Be advised, it's been a while since I played Halo, so excuse me for any inaccuracies. Oh. and this is slightly AU. Scratch that, it's AU TO THE MAX! WITH NINE NOBLE TEAM MEMBERS (LOOK FURTHER)!
Now since that's out of the way, time to move on to the story of, "Project Freelancer vs. the SPARTAN program."
What had been probably been a minor debate was now a full out war, Fleet Admiral Sir Terrence Hood observed. It may have been a discussion but now someone would die if he didn't intervene.
Dr. Catherine Elizabeth Halsey and Director Leonard Chruch, Sr., were at each others throats. Literally. Glasses were stained with spit, hair pulled, clothes wrinkled-.
I haven't seen nerds fight like this since Year 13.
But as enjoyable as the trip down memory lane was, he still grabbed each of his two braniacs by their necks and pulled them away.
"Alright," Hood growled not at the combatants but the observers, "what happened here?"
The group of enlisted and lower-ranking UNSC officers failed to respond. The man in charge of all of them sighed. "Fine. Guess I'll have the ice cream shipment re-."
The one to crack at his "threat" was a tall and slim female SPARTAN-III in gray armor. "Sir, Director Church claimed the Freelancers are," as the Lieutenant "coughed" the old Admiral heard the word "better", "than the SPARTANs. They got into a boring old people debate and started to try and murder each other."
"Can anyone give me a recording of what happened?" he asked.
A SPARTAN in light blue/steel armor nodded and brought out a datapad. "I'm bringing it up now sir," she said, a hint of Israeli origin in her accent. She handed him a pair of ear buds.
The video began to play. Hood was bored and would've dozed off if he didn't start seeing the thing almost immediately after the twelve second mark.
"Well if it isn't Director Church of Project Freelancer. You're morals were questioned today by Admiral Parangosky of all people."
"And Dr. Halsey of the failed SPARTAN-Two Program."
"I will be frank Catherine; I recruited forty-nine volunteers who all had exemplary records and performed the best of all on their tests. You kidnapped seventy-five children that weren't even eight and at age fourteen-ruined their lives even further. And you have the audacity to comment on my morals?"
From that point on it degenerated beyond description.
"Thank you Lieutenant Commander," said Hood. The twenty-two year old nodded and put away the datapad.
"Alright," he began his speech. "Ladies and gentlemen, you have witnessed a breakdown in maturity and joint operations capability."
"More like a cool senior citizens fight! Sir-."
"Grif, you dirt bag, shut up!"
"Yeah, who gives you the right to talk to royalty like that?"
Hood glared at the UNSC Army soldiers talking. That shut all of them up.
"Now that the interruption has ended, as I said before, a breakdown in maturity and joint operations capability occured. This showed division between the chief scientist of the SPARTAN Program and the Director of Project Freelancer.
No murmuring began, so he continued. "Thus, I shall have a contest in which the members of the SPARTAN Program and Project Freelancer along with their chief allies shall compete against one another in a variety of challenges. If the hatchet cannot be buried in games, it cannot be buried in battle."
"I wonder what's the prize?" Sergeant Major Avery Junior Johnson, one of Hoods favorite NCOs, asked.
"I will now show the potential punishment for either Director Church or Doctor Halsey should either of them lose," Hood said. "But I need two volunteers from the witnesses of the little scuffle.
Almost immediately all but two of the people present withdrew. Leaving two individuals in orchid and purple armor with green stripes.
"It appears I have my volunteers," Hood said gleefully. "Now please come forward."
The pair shuffled their feet. Examination showed the one in orchid armor was a woman while her fellow "volunteer" was a man.
"What are your names?"
"Freelancer Agent North Dakota," the man said. "This wont humiliate me in front of all my friends will it sir?"
"On the contrary young man," Hood replied, "your voluntary assistance will be appreciated by both myself and your comrades."
"Call me South," the woman said, her anger ringing a bell.
"Ah!" said the old man. "You two are twins aren't you?"
"Yes," the siblings said, a noticeable low level of enthusiasm from South.
"Excellent!" he said. With that he turned to South. "Young lady, I'm afraid you'll have to remove your helmet."
"So you can slap me?" she asked angrily. She then displayed a M45. "Do that, and this shotgun'll get shoved up your ass."
"Threatening a superior with the use of a deadly weapon in a completely unintended by designer manner is punishable by death, life imprisionment without parole or dishonorable discharge following trial by a UNSC Defense Force tribunal!"
"Simmons, you cannot interrupt the demonstration!"
"Yeah Simmons! Don't you know how selfless they're being by bravely aiding our glorious leader with only a general prompt and you're rudely ruining the whole thing?"
Hood motioned for them to keep their mouths closed, and turned to South. She had complied with his request and he now saw blonde hair, blue-grey eyes and a scarred left cheek.
"Thank you!" he said as he beamed. South made no effort to avoid rolling her eyes. But he instead turned to her brother. "Keep your hands behind your back young man."
"Yes sir," North replied as he put complied.
Hood smiled warmly. "And now for the test."
With that he pulled out two M6D Magnum sidearms. Although they could only fire paintballs, it would work out perfectly.
Before anyone could even utter the words, "What the fuck?" he shot North in the groin and two paintballs made it from his left sidearm to Souths right cheek and lower hair.
Both Freelancers dropped to the ground howling in pain and applying their hands to their "wounds". As their fellow agents rushed to aid them, he finished off his address.
"And so the potential punishments have been demonstarted. Agents North and South Dakota, you two are commended for your aid. As a reward you two will have tomorrow off. I apologize for the pain but I had to exhibit the potential fates for Doctor Halsey and Director Church."
Poor Dakota twins, I have truly screwed them over. Good night. Would've submitted it sooner but the admins are claiming I violated protocol or something. Now on vacation in Canada.
I need suggestions for challenges. I already have one in mind.
Who should be in this fanfic? Should I continue this thing?
Oh, and there are two Noble Sixs. Or should I say Noble Six and Noble Seven. Six is the guy and is bulky and the stronger of the two, while Seven is the girl and is weaker than her brother, ableit more agile and accurate with a weapon. They're twins like South and North. Six is go loud and solo, while Seven is better socially and prefers brains over brawn. They wear identical armor and can only be distinguished by build, posture and voice. In their armor of course.
The other two new members of Noble Team are Rosenda and Thom. Rosenda is the sassy CQC/DMR expert while Thom is the cowboy like DMR/AR specialist and simultaneous jack-of-all-trades.
And yeah, Seven ratted out Director Church and Doctor Halsey for ice cream.