|Iron Chef Butterfly!
Author: AvatarSatsuki PM
Four Caughtnotsleeping Butterflies face off in hope of winning a Mystery Prize. Inside jokes and nastiness ensue! Enjoy the madness.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Horror - Words: 1,249 - Published: 06-03-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8180081
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I am a Roivas Butterfly of Caughtnotsleeping and this is what happens when I get a really bad idea while talking to the others. Envoy, please forgive my horrid brain.
Iron Chef Butterfly.
It was a chilly autumn evening when people from all different parts of the world started to file into the medium sized auditorium. This event had taken months to plans and even longer to carry out, but the stage was finally set as everyone took their seats. The din of talking finally lowered to scattered murmurs as the large curtain rustled and was slowly pulled up to reveal four cooking stations, a judges table, and a fully stocked food supply.
Chouji burst through a separate curtain to a roaring cheer and applause. He bow and straightened out his black jacket, the only nice piece of clothing he was wearing. An unseen stage hand threw him a microphone and he motioned for everyone to settle down.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, hello and welcome to the first annual Battle of the Butterflies! Today, four of our own will be facing off in a heated competition. Let's meet our competitors! First off is the Irish Defender all the way from Dublin, give a big round of applause for… Chewie!" Chouji steps aside as Chewie walks out from the same curtain. Chewie waves a meat cleaver high in the air as everyone cheers and chants for him to win, another stage hand rushes out to put a hairnet on his head and one on his fluffy beard.
Chewie takes to the cooking station on the far left as Chouji steps back up to introduce the next contestant.
"Alright everyone, calm down we still have six more people to introduce. Our next guest is truly a wonderful and strong woman to both fear and love. Give it up for your favorite cat lady… Mesay!" Chouji extends his hand towards the curtain as cat runs onto the stage and a woman follows, hunched over to catch the feline.
"Sovy, get your fuzzy little ass back here!" Mesay yells as Chouji and Chewie help to corral the cat. The crowd laughs historically the two men butt heads in their efforts. Soon a stage hand takes the hissing cat away and everything returns to normal. "Sorry about that guys, she gets out of hand sometimes. I didn't even know someone brought her here." Mesay laughed nervously as she pulled her hair back into a ponytail and took to her cooking station beside Chewie, who was busy fixing his hairnets.
"Well that was… entertaining. Let's move on with the show, shall we? Our next competitor is someone you all know as the one who made this all possible, LittleButterfly!" Avi dashes onto the stage and glomp tackles Chouji to the ground before getting up and waving a ladle in Chewies direction like a rapier. Everyone stands and cheers as Avi puts on her little show before stealing the microphone.
"Hello ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to my little creation, I hope you all enjoy the show!" She tosses the mic back at the man on the ground and bounces up to her station next to Mesay.
"This is going to be a long day…" Chouji mutters and gets to his feet, once again having to straighten his jacket.
"Finally, the last but certainly not least of our contestants is the Butterfly queen of the unusual… Miss Anna!" Anna walks out and waves to the crowd wearing goggles and a rainbow colored apron. Everyone keeps on their feet and cheers as Anna high fives Avi for her glomping entrance the four gear up for the cooking.
"Now that you've met our cooks, let's meet the ones who have to eat this horrible… I mean wonderful mess!" The crowd settles back into their seats as Chouji skips up to the judges table where four people are already sitting.
"First is everyone's favorite little ball of rage, it's Zero!" He pats her on the head and she tried to bite his hand.
"I told you not to touch me! Just give me the food so I can go home and get on the internet!" She snaps and taps her fingers against the table.
"Okay… moving on to our next judge. It's a miracle we could even keep this little twat awake long enough to get him introduced, it's Envoy!" Everyone else on the stage laughs as Envoy starts swearing at Chouji.
" Damn it, you know I've so hyped up on Dox's coffee I can't see straight!" Was all that could be heard before the mic was taken away.
"Almost done, don't worry folks! Our next judge hails from the land of steel and Faygo! That's right, it's Tarvok!" The crowd gives a mixed reaction of cheers and boos. The boos clearly from the Roivas purists. Tarvok just shakes his head and waves hello to the cooks.
"Alright, last one I swear! Wait, what… my card says that there were only three judges, what are you doing here?" Chouji checked his card and raised an eyebrow at Zander.
"I don't even know why I'm up here, one minute I was with the main crowd… the next I'm sitting here and watching you get glomped by Avi and… I just don't know anymore." Zander shook his head and raised his hands in the air as to defend himself.
"Oh well, you're here now. Let's get on with the show. The rules are simple." Chouji smiles brightly and turns back to the audience. "We will have three rounds, Appetizer, Soup, and Entre. Each Butterfly must complete a unique and tasty dish to wow the judges in hopes of winning a lifetime supply of Slenderbane!" The crowd Ooos and Ahhhs as the mystery prize is finally revealed.
"Now, Let's get cooking!" Chouji yells as the timer starts counting down in the appetizers course. All four contestants start rushing around trying to get their dishes made…
Three hours later.
"Alright everyone, that was an amazing Soup course, but unfortunately Anna had to be disqualified for sending Zander to the ER for his Seafood Bisque. Who knew the man was allergic to periwinkle food dye…" Half the crowd is crying while the other half is still laughing.
"And for the final course our last two contestants were allowed to bring ingredients from home. Chewie has chosen from fresh vegetables from a friend's garden while Avi won't disclose what she's brought to the table." Avi grins menacingly and strokes the top of a cooler bag.
"And for the last time this evening… Let's Get Cooking!" Chouji shouts as the remaining two rush once more to complete their dishes…
Forty Five Minutes Later.
Chewie and Avi stand before the judges table as the three seated are finishing up their plates. The give high praise to Chewie's braised lamb shanks with wilted bitter greens and soon turn their attention to Avi.
"That bird was beautifully cooked, what was it exactly? Squab, Cornish Hen?" Envoy asked as he turned over the plate's garnish, searching for more poultry.
"Oh no, nothing that ordinary. As you know I named that dish 'Lucy in the Sky with Pearl Onions'… The name is literal since you know just how much I hate birds… I cooked your parrot and let everyone watch you eat her…"