|Yesterday Was Hard On All Of Us
Author: Vindicata PM
What if the secret that Shawn is a fake psychic isn't the whole story? What if the truth is so much more complicated than they ever realized? When a case takes a strange turn, Shawn faces a difficult decision while his friends and family struggle to come to terms with the secret behind the secret.Rated: Fiction T - English - Drama/Angst - Shawn S. & Juliet oH. - Chapters: 5 - Words: 17,685 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 07-24-12 - Published: 06-07-12 - id: 8194289
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: This story is also on PsychFic . com under the same pen name. I'm not really going to write author's note on FFN so you may want to check out PF. Also, there's a very cool title banner for this story on there.
EDIT: Wth is with FFN that I have to do a full line break thing for section breaks? It gets rid of any other line I do. ARGH.
Inspiration Music: "Yesterday Was Hard On All Of Us" by Fink
- ONE: The secret behind the secret -
"A psychic, Shawn? Really?"
Shawn gave Karen a sheepish look as she she stared him down, one eyebrow raised. He shrugged.
"I didn't want to be arrested..."
"You and I both know Lassiter couldn't have done that."
Shawn shifted uncomfortably.
"Okay, so maybe I didn't want him to know why he couldn't arrest me?" Shawn tried. Karen sighed and leaned back in her chair.
"And it has be a secret because..."
"Karen, you know why," Shawn said seriously, giving her a hard look. Karen rubbed her eyes wearily. Yes, she did know, unfortunately.
"I understand that, I just don't understand why you're calling in tips after going through so much effort to leave it behind you."
Shawn thought for a moment before speaking quietly,
"I guess I can never really stop. It's in my blood, you know." He gave a dry chuckle and Karen smiled softly. "So where do we go from here?"
"I have an idea," Karen said slowly, thinking. "I'll have to run it by Nick."
Shawn nodded, getting the idea. He stood and headed for the door.
"Mr. Spencer." Shawn turned back to look at Karen, one hand on the knob. She gave him a stern look. "For all intents and purposes, you are a civilian and will only have the protections offered to any regular citizen..."
"Unless it comes to that," she finished when Shawn raised his eyebrows. "Understood?"
"Yes, ma'am," Shawn replied seriously, then grinned cheekily when Karen scowled at the term. He bounded out the door, anxious to begin again.
Six years later...
"...anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law, you have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford one, one will be provided for you. Do you understand these rights as I've explained them to you?" Lassiter finished tersely, releasing pressure on the man's back after the handcuffs were on, allowing him to straighten again.
"Yeah, Lassie..." Shawn sighed wearily, meeting Lassiter's eyes with a dull look. Lassiter scowled back, glancing nervously towards his partner as he escorted Shawn to the back of the car and 'helped' the cuffed man into the backseat.
"McNab!" Lassiter barked, causing the stunned officer to jump.
"Y-yes, sir?" Buzz stuttered, peering owlishly past the head detective's shoulder to where Shawn sat quietly in the backseat. Lassiter cleared his throat, drawing his attention back.
"Take O'Hara and Guster back with you to the station, I'll handle Spencer," Lassiter ordered him quietly. The taller man nodded and headed over to where the badly shaken detective was comforting Gus. Lassiter gave them a long look before getting into his car and starting it.
Glancing at Shawn through the rearview mirror, Lassiter sighed as he drove them back to the station, neither saying a word throughout the ride. Their arrival was met with shock, startled glances and murmurs following them as Lassiter roughly marched Shawn through the station.
"Detective," Karen said sternly. Both Shawn and Lassiter turned to look at her, the elder frowning when he noticed her gaze was locked with Shawn's. After a moment, she looked to Lassiter. "My office, now."
Shawn hesitated, sighed, then trudged into the office, Lassiter's grip tight on his arm. As soon as the door was closed, Karen turned from where she had closed the last set of blinds in the office, leaving them in privacy.
"You can release Mr. Spencer," Karen said tiredly. After Lassiter reluctantly let go of him, Shawn shrugged his shoulders and gave her a look. A short, silent exchange later, Karen sighed and instructed Lassiter to remove the handcuffs.
"Excuse me?" Lassiter sputtered. "Spencer is under arrest for assault with a deadly weapon."
Karen gave Shawn a cool look, her eyebrows raised. He tilted his head toward Lassiter then shook his head. She inclined her head slightly in understanding.
"Mr. Spencer will explain the circumstances himself," Karen gave Lassiter a hard look. "But first, remove the handcuffs."
Lassiter grumbled under his breath and moved to undo the cuffs. Shawn rubbed his aggrieved wrists, stepping away from the other man.
"Thank you, you may leave now, detective," Karen told Lassiter sternly. Lassiter glared mutely at Shawn then walked out of the office angrily, shutting the door hard behind him. Karen sighed and motioned for Shawn to sit down, pinching the bridge of her nose.
"An ADW, Shawn?"
Shawn blew out a breath.
"It wasn't..." he started lamely, "Yeah."
"Care to explain?"
"Novich was about to remote detonate a bomb using a burn phone, I pulled my weapon and tried to talk him down," Shawn recounted in an automatic drone.
"Why weren't O'Hara and Lassiter with you?"
"I was going off a hunch, once I had enough for a confirmation, I had Gus call them while I went to stop Novich. The three of them showed up when I resorted to informing Novich that I'd shoot him before he hit send."
"I take it that you didn't identify yourself to Novich," she stated.
Karen gave him a look; Shawn shook his head.
"He wouldn't have believed me anyway, I didn't have ID."
"But you had your weapon?" Karen asked incredulously, earning a shrug. "Alright, what happened when the others showed up?"
"A whole lot of freaking out about me having a gun," Shawn grumbled before continuing in a tired voice. "They wouldn't listen long enough for me to explain and Novich started to go for the call... so I settled for shooting the phone out of his hand."
"Then all hell broke loose. Lassie tackled me and Novich started to bolt, but I managed to convince Jules enough that she grabbed Novich."
"Did she arrest him?" Karen asked sharply.
"Yeah, the idiot incriminated himself by talking about 'next time' with the bombs. Didn't stop Lassie from arresting me, though," Shawn grimaced, rubbing his wrists again.
"I'm sorry, Karen," he said quietly after a moment, startling the chief. Karen shook her head and smiled sadly at him.
"You did what you had to and we'll deal with the consequences," she told him and picked up the phone, dialing a familiar number. "Honestly, I think this has gone on long enough," she murmured as the phone rang, earning a surprised look from Shawn.
"Nick," Karen said into the phone, meeting Shawn's eyes. "It's Karen. You need to come to Santa Barbara..."
Lassiter stood up from his desk when the door to the Chief's office opened. He stalked over, his steps slowing slightly as he caught what Shawn murmured to Karen.
"...false bottom of right bottom drawer on my desk."
"I'll send McNab," Karen told him quietly then turned, noticing the head detective not ten feet away. "Put Mr. Spencer in Interview A for the time being. No interrogation, no handcuffs, understood?" Karen ordered Lassiter, who scowled but nodded.
"Where are O'Hara and Guster?" Karen asked abruptly, stopping them as they turned to leave.
"In the conference room writing their statements..." Lassiter said slowly. "Henry Spencer's in there with them." Karen winced and waved Shawn and Lassiter off to the interview room, before tracking down Buzz.
"McNab," she called, beckoning Buzz into a corner where they wouldn't be overheard. The tall officer ambled over, concern on his face.
"What's going on, Chief? Is Shawn okay?" Buzz asked.
"It's complicated, but yes, for the moment, Mr. Spencer is fine," Karen gave him a small reassuring smile before becoming serious again. "I need you to do something."
"Sure, what is it?"
"I need you to go to the Psych office and retrieve something," Karen told him quietly. "In Mr. Spencer's desk, the right bottom drawer has a false bottom. There should be a lockbox underneath. I need you to go get it immediately without telling anyone what you are doing and bring the box directly to me."
Buzz's eyes widened as he nodded sharply. Karen handed Shawn's set of keys and Buzz rushed off. With a sigh, Karen made her way over to the conference room, steeling herself before slipping inside to shut the door behind her.
"What the hell is going on?" Henry bellowed as soon as the door was shut again, stalking over. Karen glared at him.
"Sit down, Henry," she snapped. He refused, crossing his arms. Karen stifled the urge to roll her eyes and glanced to where Gus and Juliet were sitting anxiously, their written statements before them.
"As I'm sure you are all aware," Karen began carefully. "Detective Lassiter arrested Shawn for assault with a deadly weapon..."
"That's not possible," Henry interrupted. "Shawn doesn't own a gun!" Behind him, Juliet and Gus nodded in confirmation. Karen internally groaned, wishing for the first time that Shawn wasn't so damn good at what he did.
"Whatever you believe to be the case," Karen said, ignoring Henry's dark look, "Shawn had a weapon and fired it..."
There was a tense pause.
"Now, the situation is more... complex than I can explain at the moment..." Karen said slowly, three pairs of eyes narrowing in confusion and suspicion. "But I can tell you that the charges will almost assuredly be dropped... though there will be other repercussions."
"What do you mean by 'other repercussions'?" Juliet asked, her voice shaking ever so slightly. Karen hesitated.
"I will let you know more when I can. For the moment, I need all of you to remain here. No one is to speak to Shawn," Karen said quietly, then swept out the door, leaving the stunned group behind her. Returning to her office, she pulled out some forms then headed for the interview room.
"Detective Lassiter," Karen said, stepping into the observation area. The detective glanced at her from where he was watching Shawn in the other room. "Get back to work."
"Mr. Spencer is not in any danger of leaving or causing harm to anyone else," Karen said quickly, raising a hand to stop him from arguing. "Now go."
As soon as Lassiter sullenly headed back for his desk, Karen went into the room, setting the forms and a pen on the table in front of Shawn. He looked up then nodded silently, picking up the pen to begin working with a slight grimace on his face.
Buzz intercepted Karen on her way back to her office, handing her the lockbox and Shawn's keys with a curious look. She gave him a curt 'thank you' and disappeared into her office with the items to wait.
Three pairs of eyes shot to the conference room door when it opened.
"Carlton," Juliet sighed when the familiar salt and pepper head of her partner popped in.
"Chief wants all of us in her office immediately," he informed them brusquely, meeting Henry's glare with a level look. Gus and Juliet stood up from the table and quickly followed Henry and Lassiter out of the conference room to the Chief's office.
"Come in," Karen called when Lassiter knocked on the door.
"Shawn!" Juliet murmured, seeing him standing at one side of the office with a man she didn't recognize. He gave her a small smile but shook his head slightly. As soon as the door shut behind Gus, Shawn looked to Karen.
"You may want to take a seat," Karen informed them. Gus immediately dropped into a seat as Juliet took the other. Lassiter and Henry refused to sit down, both standing tensely, their arms crossed.
"Someone want to explain what is going on and who that is?" Henry bit off, nodding towards the other man. The man held up a hand, cutting off Karen before she could yell at the elder Spencer.
"Captain Nick Breighton, LAPD," the man introduced himself.
"LAPD?" Lassiter muttered, frowning at him. Breighton looked to be in his mid-sixties, his silver hair sporting a buzz cut and his posture stiff and military like, despite the sport coat and slacks.
"What does Shawn have to do with the LAPD?" Gus asked with wide eyes. Shawn avoided his gaze.
"Well, Mr. Guster, a lot," Karen replied with a sigh, garnering looks of surprise. She glanced at Shawn and Breighton, both nodded subtly. "I'd like to begin by stating that all charges against Mr. Spencer will be dropped."
"What?" Lassiter cried. "You can't just bend the rules for Spencer!"
"I am not," Karen went on, "the fact is that while I dislike that the situation arose, Shawn acted within the purview of his duties and-"
"What do you mean 'purview of his duties'?" Henry interrupted, concern on his face.
"This is the complicated part," Karen murmured, then continued slowly, "Shawn Spencer has been working undercover on loan from the LAPD for the last six years."
No one moved.
"Y-you mean..?" Gus asked shakily after a moment.
Karen nodded, opening the lockbox to pull out an LAPD badge and ID, setting them on the desk in front of them.
"Detective Shawn Henry Spencer, LAPD," Breighton said.
"It-it's not..." Lassiter murmured, shocked. Henry and Gus stared at Shawn who simply stood there, hands stuffed in his pockets, a tense look on his face.
"Shawn?" Henry asked quietly. Shawn met his eyes and Henry immediately knew it was true.
"I don't understand..." Gus said, brow furrowed, looking from the ID to Karen, Shawn, and Breighton. "If Shawn.. If Shawn is a cop why did he start the whole 'psychic' detective thing?"
Karen and Breighton exchanged a look before turning to Shawn, who drew a deep breath.
"A couple of years before I came back to Santa Barbara, I tried to resign from the LAPD after-" Shawn began softly, speaking for the first time. He shook his head slightly, closing his eyes.
"Anyway, the Captain refused to accept my resignation and put me on extended leave, that's when I was pulled in by Lassie for questioning about the tip I called in... When Lassie threatened to arrest me, I played the psychic card..."
He looked at the floor.
"...I didn't want him to pull my file, so I pretended to be psychic."
"Why the hell-?"
Karen shook her head sharply, cutting off Henry's question.
"When Karen heard about the whole psychic thing, she called the Captain," Shawn continued.
"Spence wouldn't work in LA anymore," Breighton said gruffly, taking over the explanation. "We worked it out so he'd be deep cover here in Santa Barbara, basically a civilian while still being able to operate as a detective if necessary."
"But why?" Lassiter asked incredulously.
"At the time, it was just to get him to keep his damn badge," Breighton snapped, causing Shawn to flush and look away.
"Having someone who can work outside the normal chain of command also allows for more flexibility," Karen placated. "There were a number of quiet internal investigations that Shawn ran for me."
"How did you know about this anyway, Karen?" Henry asked intensely. Shawn cleared his throat awkwardly.
"Karen was the one who cleared up the GTA on my record, allowing me to go to the academy in LA," Shawn murmured. Henry felt a flash of hot shame. "She, uh, kept in touch. When she ended up transferring to LA, she and the Captain were partners for a while..."
"Why did you try to quit?" Juliet asked him softly. Shawn looked to Karen, then Breighton, something akin to panic in his eyes.
"...it's confidential," Karen said slowly, exchanging a look with Breighton.
"So what happens now?" Gus asked after a few tense moments.
"That depends on Shawn," Karen replied. "It's his choice whether to remain undercover, so to speak, or to return to the force openly."
"We could really use you back in LA, Spence," Breighton murmured to him quietly.
"No!" Juliet gasped out, blushing when all eyes turned to her.
"I-I don't know," Shawn stuttered out. "I'll have to think about it."
Karen and Breighton nodded.
"I, uh..." Shawn started, meeting the Captain's eyes.
"Spence and I are going to go have a chat," Breighton said, turning to the group before ushering Shawn past them, his eyes not meeting any of theirs.
"Here," Breighton said, handing Shawn his gun when they entered the gun range and found it empty. "Ballistics is going to have yours for a few days."
Shawn nodded and grabbed eye protection and a pair of ear plugs then chose a lane. After sending a new target back, he put on the protection, flipped off the safety, took a deep breath and let it out before firing several times. He paused, frowning down at the weapon, then turned to look at Breighton who was leaning back against the wall behind him.
"When was the last time you cleaned this?" Shawn asked. Breighton flummoxed
"You getting smart with me, Spence?"
Shawn shrugged and pressed the button to bring the target back to the front again. Breighton squinted at it and walked over.
"Huh," he muttered, eyeing the terrible spread on the shots.
"That's not me," Shawn told him.
"You sure about that?" Breighton asked carefully. Shawn scowled and slapped the button, sending the target back again. Resuming his stance, he carefully aimed before firing several more times.
"Damn..." he murmured, staring at the target as the reel brought it towards them again. Shawn sighed as he stared at the way the first wild set of shots were now doubled, though not as neatly as usual.
"Spence..." Breighton said softly, laying a hand on Shawn's tense shoulder.
"I can't do it..." Shawn whispered, "I can't-"
"You've been partners with Guster for six years, don't tell me you can't," Breighton replied gruffly. Shawn rolled his eyes.
"Gus has been my best friend since we were five. And he's not a cop, so it's not exactly the same thing."
Breighton stared at the target in thought.
"And is it safer for him? Like this?" he finally asked. Shawn inhaled sharply. "Karen says you haven't even been carrying your weapon most of the time. She was surprised you had it today."
He turned to look at Shawn.
"How is that safer for Guster? For you?" Breighton asked with a frown. "Or, hell, the detectives that come and bail you out assuming you can't handle yourself?"
"I-" Shawn cut himself off and set the gun down on the shelf before rubbing a hand across his mouth. "I don't know."
"Look, Spence, it's your choice," Breighton said softly. "I know you're happy here and if you were to reveal yourself, there'd be no going back..."
"But... I think you miss it, being a cop."
"I still am a cop," Shawn reminded him archly. "Thanks to you."
"Yeah, yeah..." Brighton chuckled. "But you know what I mean."
"Yeah," Shawn murmured, staring blankly at the target.