|My Nose Will Grow
Author: Caligalux PM
Pinocchio invokes a paradox to short out the Blue Fairy's magic on his nose, enabling him to lie all he wants, thus taking him on a VERY different path from the original film... NOW COMPLETERated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 11,781 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 06-22-12 - Published: 06-11-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8208119
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Pinocchio and Jiminy Cricket were walking home to Geppetto's place after being busted out by the Blue Fairy. "Man!" Pinoc whined, "It really blows that I can't tell lies without my nose giving me away—" And no sooner had he said that when a thought most genius came to him, and as soon as the words had formed in his mind, he spoke aloud: "MY NOSE WILL GROW!" Just then his nose grew. But then it shrank. But then it grew again, and it bounced a little until it finally settled and belched a few teal sparks. "YES!" Pinoc rejoiced, "I conquered my nose!" And he proceeded on his way to the pub for a drink. "Uh, Pinoc," Jiminy protested, "are you sure about this?"
"Of course I'm sure!" The amoral puppet replied. So he went into the pub and sat down. "Name your poison" the bartender said. "Gimme the hardest thing you got!" the wooden-wanna-be-real-boy demanded eagerly. "It's your kidneys…" the bartender said, turning around to mix the drink, believing that the puppet had literally "named his poison".
A minute or two later, he turned around gave Pinocchio the drink. The grisly old sailor sitting in the stool next to them got one whiff of the drink, and keeled over. Jiminy looked nervously at Pinocchio and said "I don't think you should drink that, Pinoc."
"His senses probably just couldn't take such strong liquor anymore—"
"He's an old sailor. He should be able to down ten barrels of liquor and not skip a beat!"
"…Well I'm also made of wood!" The puppet replied, and took a giant swig. "See? No trouble at all. In fact, this stuff is really goo—"